


Too Old for You

by Moonkum



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Real World, M/M, Offensive Language (critique and explicit ideas)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-08-11 06:23:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 78,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20149105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonkum/pseuds/Moonkum
Summary: Naruto is a 27 year old fuckup.An accident that leaves him crippled ruins his career, his relationship, and forces him to start from scratch back in school. There, he has to play nice with a 19 year old, leechy weirdo named Sasuke. As if Naruto's own problems weren't bad enough, the weirdo's got an ocean of them himself--and he'd like nothing better than to dump them on Naruto.





	1. I Mean: One to Go, Please

“It’s yur apartment, though! She can’t boss you around! Just tell her to get out, man!”

“I’m not gonna tell her to ‘get out;’ I’m not an asshole, ya know. Besides, I prefer the couch anyway when she’s like this. It’s no fun sleeping next to someone who hates yur guts.”

“Ah, I don’t know, man.” Kiba made a sour face. He didn’t meet his best friend’s hopeful expression, because he disliked his passivity in dealing with his relationship. “I think yer being kind of a pussy,” he deadpanned, shutting the register and instantly perking up as a customer approached. “Hello!” he sang. “Didya find everything you were looking for today?” Naruto took a step to the side. He checked his nails and tried not to grumble out loud.

Naruto and Kiba were old friends from elementary school. They’d met in class at age seven, and squired each other ever since. That had been back in West Virginia, 20 years ago. Naruto had left when he was twelve, moving to The City, Washington state, with his dad after his mom died. Kiba had followed five years later, and a heartfelt reunion marked the day.

Neither of them had been good students. They’d been the two dopeheads who skipped class all the time, who were first to start smoking, first to bring 2 liters’ worth of witches’ brew cocktails to parties. The fact that they had subsequently crashed and burned from those same brews, every time, made them also first to hurl every color of the rainbow—all over their schoolmates’ parents’ guest rooms. They’d not lost their virginities first, but had been popular in their late teens and early twenties. Kiba and Naruto had walked the line between ‘cool’ and ‘lame’ throughout their upbringing, and still didn’t care about anyone’s opinion but each other’s.

Now, Kiba had managed to land a job as a grunt at the sportswear store Mad Gymsnark, while Naruto remained unemployed. He’d come to hang out.

Naruto ran an eye over the customer distracting his playmate: 30-something-year-old; brand new, bright blue running shoes; balding. New Year’s resolution, no doubt.

Naruto smiled politely at them, and nodded his head as they said ‘bye.’

“How long do ya think he’ll keep it up?” Kiba asked his friend with a grin, tapping his fingertips at the registry. Naruto snorted.

“I don’t know, man. For all we know maybe he’s a total spaz. Run us both into the ground.”

“Yeah, maybe. But probably not.”

“What he doesn’t know can’t hurtim.” Naruto stretched his back. He was leaving handprints on the glass counter and so let go of it, embarrassed.

When his dad had passed away of bone cancer, back when Naruto was just nineteen, it had changed things. Naruto couldn’t stand getting high and ‘wasting time’ with Kiba anymore, and so when he’d gone looking for his uncle Jiraiya (incidentally a Taekwondo Grand Master) desperate for a familial connection, Kiba had out of solidarity joined a club with him.

“Aren’t you going back to training anytime soon, by the way? I mean, yur walking’s gotten pretty good, right?” Kiba asked.

“_Heh_! Yeah, I’m a fucking ballerina, man. No, I mean—I’m not going back. I’m feeling pretty—done withit all.” The brunette shut the registry with a bang, and leant over the counter. He gaped at Naruto. The friend in question jumped at the noise, wondering what had happened.

“The fuck’re ya saying?” Kiba demanded to know. “Whaddaya mean yer ‘done withit all’?”

“What? You upset?”

“Wha—hell yeah I’m upset if yer saying yer done with training!”

“What do you want me to do?” Naruto laughed. “My foot’s all fucked up: I can’t train like this! Not with them anyway. Training in a dojang is just way more effort than it’s worth. Those people are lunatics, ya know.”

Kiba hadn’t stuck with the Taekwondo in the end, but Naruto had completely devoted himself. He’d shown promise and Jiraiya had stepped in personally to train him, hoping to make his nephew an instructor one day.

At twenty-four, Naruto had kicked an elbow in sparring; his foot hadn’t stopped hurting since.

Now, he was washing everything down the drain: his relationship was in shambles, he spent his days playing video games, and he hadn’t talked to Jiraiya in three years.

Kiba was tearing his hair out just watching.

“I’m sorry? I musta not heard ya right, cuz I don’t remember my pal Instructor-Naruto wanting nothing t’do with any dojangs! That can’t be right: you used to fucking sneak in other clubs to spy on ‘em for fuck’s sake!”

“Not ‘spying’, ‘inspecting’!” Naruto grinned sarcastically. “Look, man: I know yer just tryna help, but I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Fine. Pardon me for bringing it up. Just forget it.” Kiba shrugged his shoulders, tired of his friend’s attitude.

For the most part, in all honesty, Kiba just felt incredibly guilty.

“It’s a bitch, alright? I can’t do what other people can anymore,” Naruto stated this, trying to have it sound as if it didn’t break his heart.

“Right. I just thought the kids at the dojang must be missing you, is all.”

“They’ve long forgotten about me, so it’s fine. I’m done anyway.” Kiba sighed at him.

“It’s a waste,” he said. “But whatever! It’s yur decision. Hello! Didya find everything you wur looking for today?” A new customer walked up to Kiba’s registry. From Kiba’s mellow reception, you wouldn’t have thought at all that an angel had appeared.

Naruto however was struck, raising his head, his jaw totally dropped. Looking from the customer to his friend and back again, a wolfish grin stretched his mouth slowly but surely.

The customer was a guy first of all, but that didn’t deter Naruto so much as it made him want to ‘play with fire’, so to speak. The customer looked 20-something; crazy, super-hot; some kind of fancy-pants from Asia.

“_Heyyy_,” drooled Naruto, all confidence due to his bad mood. The customer looked at him in wide-eyed surprise. Naruto wiggled his brows, and the customer scoffed, ignored him, focused his attention on Kiba.

“I need some kind of rain-proof pants for running, but I don’t want anything tight.” He sneered speaking this last part, apparently disgusted with the idea. Naruto beamed, imagining him in women’s yoga pants. Those long legs sure would thank him for it—or, Naruto would thank him at least.

“Sure!” Kiba supplied. “Ya know, we’ll be able to find you whatchu need! Follow me to the extreme-tiger-become-magically-faster-section. No, it’s really called that. This way.”

“I can also help you with what chu need, ya know,” interjected Naruto, raising his hand. The customer just looked confused.

“_Dude_!”

“What? I can!”

“You don’t work here! I’m sorry! He’s my dumbass-friend; don’t worry about him. . !”

“Aw, come on! Dude, hey, what’s yur sign?”

“Ew,” smirked the customer. Kiba was red and firing daggers.

“Yur real pretty, ya know that? Where you from?” Naruto didn’t care about how mad Kiba was getting, only tilted his head and smiled as charmingly as he could at the customer.

“None of your business. . !” he answered, undoubtedly amused.

“NARUTO! Get outa here!” Kiba rushed up to Naruto and pushed on his chest, forcing him to take a step back.

“Fine! Fine! I’ve no business doing any hunting on yur turf anyway.” Naruto grinned, holding his hands up.

“That’s right ya—don’t. . .” Kiba backed off quickly.

“Good luck with the pants, you! Think you should reconsider the slim fit, though.” Naruto said this, pointing finger-guns at the customer and making him roll his eyes. Kiba gesticulated wildly in apology while Naruto fanned his own face, swiveling to leave the store. “Bless my heart,” he said.

*

On the drive home from the mall, Naruto was possessed by daydreaming. He was distracted in traffic, but didn’t care. It felt too good: he hadn’t had anything nice to think about in a really long time.

Giggling, he turned left at an intersection, imagining a scenario where he was helping that guy from the store stretch his hamstrings.

“_Hehehe_. . !” He realized, of course, that he was a total pervert.

Clearing his throat and fixing his face, he tried to recall that he was actually brought up to be a polite and likable individual. Much as he tried, his lips soon pursed on another giggle and he was very obviously every bit as immature as a high-schooler still.

That customer had been way prettier than any girlfriend Naruto had ever had (like _way_!) including the current one.

Nearly running a red light, Naruto hit the brakes with a loud gasp.

People in the next lane over were leaning over in their seats just to gawk at him—the fucking idiot. Naruto cringed, locking the doors with a minor movement.

An old lady was hunched over on the crosswalk in front of him. She looked out of breath and mad as hell, walker, handbag and all. Naruto raised his fingers in a sort-of-wave at her. She flipped him off. He felt bad, rubbing his face and snorting.

*

Having passed the nice suburbs, Naruto winced at the fact that he was almost home. It was impossible to fantasize and be happy come that reality. Being poor, he had never moved out of the place he’d moved into at nineteen, therefore lived in a seedy part of The City. At least it wasn’t the area known as The Sound, where there were constant shootings and stuff from the straight up clan wars.

Naruto rolled into the parking lot of his apartment complex: a two-story dump, with metal staircases on the outside of the building that clanged and made a shitting ruckus if you didn’t mind your feet when going up and down them. Every time he got a new neighbor, he had a good two to three months of ungodly noise to look forward to, and given that the place was a shanty, people came and went just as often.

It was funny—the things you get used to.

The façade hadn’t been washed in decades by the look of it, and the white paint was therefore varnished with the exhaust fumes coming from the lot Naruto sat juggling his keys in.

Speaking of façades: he didn’t want to go in.

He thought about Sakura, how happy they’d used to be when she first moved in four years ago. Naruto had fond memories of thundering up and down those stairs with his arms full of cardboard boxes, and his heart full of song. Sakura had told him a joke from the second story at one point, and he’d almost fallen head-first into the trunk of his car. Their laughter had filled the entire parking lot.

Things were very different now.

They hardly talked to one another and kisses had become chores, only performances meant to relay that they still wanted to be together. Never mind that every time they kissed it only brought more attention to the fact that things were very, very wrong between them. It hurt knowing she could feel it too.

As far as sex was concerned, they were both nuns—something Naruto hated.

The Wrongness was something they were both unwilling to admit to, he supposed, and it sucked because they had a roommate: a fucking elephant wearing a big, fat t-shirt reading ‘Break-Up Talk’. They kept living together for some stupid, human reason like fear of change.

Naruto set a determined stare up at his door on the second story before deciding to swing his legs out of the car. The door of it shut with a slam, and he locked the car remotely over his shoulder. The stairs thundered. Naruto wanted to make somebody angry with him; he’d welcome it.

He was home. Flipping the lock behind him, he toed off his dirty, orange sneakers. His brown, faux leather jacket found home on a peg. Sakura’s coat was already hanging next to it, and Naruto felt his guts twist.

Not calling out, he went right to the kitchen.

It looked like hell according to his standards. Why is it that she can’t just sweep up the bread crumbs on the table after making a sandwich? Is that supposed to be some pro-level shit? Naruto did it himself, grimacing and letting the door to the compost under the sink slam. He was winning: now he had the most responsibility-points.

“Hey,” Sakura’s neutral voice just then sounded from behind him. Naruto turned, a carefully surprised expression on his face.

“Hey,” he answered, and set to making his own sandwich.

“Did you get the groceries?” Naruto stopped all movement. It seemed he wasn’t winning anymore. It was still bright out, he thought vaguely, looking out the window over the kitchen table.

“I forgot. . !” he confessed with a weary sigh. Sakura crossed her arms. She was in her pajamas and ready to stay in the rest of the night.

“It’s why you had the car today.”

“I’ll go in a minute—” Naruto sucked some butter off his thumb “—I just wanna eat something first.” Never mind that is was _his_ car. Just because Sakura had a job, she felt that it should actually be considered _her_ car since she ‘got more use out of it’.

“_Ugh_, fine. . .So where were you if you didn’t pick up groceries? Did you get the list?” She walked over to the counter where their notepad was laying. Naruto indeed had the list from it in his pocket.

“_Yes_!” he said. “I stopped by Kiba at work. He’s new and bored so I figured I’d be a good friend.” Sakura was quiet awhile. Naruto sat down at the table and took out his phone, browsing Heardit and chewing on his snack. His roommate-girlfriend shuffled her feet.

“It’s not good to bother someone at work,” she began, hedging the subject in her heart. “Especially when they’re new.” Naruto swallowed noisily.

“I know that; he asked me to come! It’s not like I was hanging out there all day, I just stopped by.”

“He didn’t think to remind you to pick up groceries?”

“Why would Kiba worry about my chores?” Naruto fired off a scornful laugh.

“Well he—he eats, doesn’t he!? I find it hard to believe you two could spend any amount of time together without being reminded to eat something whole!”

“Christ. . !”

“Just—get it done, please. I’d like to get started on dinner so I can take a shower.” What, you can’t shower before cooking? Autism, much?

“I will!” Naruto smirked at her. “Like I said, I’m just gonna eat first cuz I’m star-ving, then I’ll go out again and go to the store!”

“You don’t have to get angry.”

“I’m not! I’m not angry. Sorry. I’m just _tired_.” Sakura looked at him for a minute, then finally returned to the living room. Naruto could relax. He felt like he was living with a vengeful spirit; that alone was enough to exhaust him, in all fairness.

*

“_I’m going for a run_.”

“Sasuke_. Wait_.” Sasuke stopped in the hallway, half-way out the door. He’d been so close. Shutting it again, he turned around to face his approaching father. “_Where are you going_?” Fugaku Uchiha asked, smirking, ready to mock whatever it was his son had gotten into his head to try.

“_A run. Just around the lake_.”

“_You’re exercising now_?”

“_I have been for a while. Usually I do it while you’re in the office_.”

“_You don’t say_.” Sasuke’s body was tensing up. He didn’t want to blink or look away. “_Why the change of habit then_?”

“_Just—chance_.”

“_Is there something I should know about_?”

“_What? No_!” Sasuke forced himself to laugh. “_You just took so long tearing yourself away from the paper today_!” Sometimes joking was alright. Sasuke hoped this was such a time. Fugaku stared at him. His son swallowed.

His father briskly approached, and Sasuke recoiled, hitting the door with his back. Fugaku raised his right hand up and—! Sasuke’s cheek was patted, a bit too hard. His smile trembled.

“_It’s a good habit_,” his father told him. “_Keep doing it_.” Wagging his finger, Fugaku turned and left his son by the door, apparently allowing him to go. Sasuke immediately slipped outside and was careful not to slam the door whatso behind himself.

He set a brisk pace down the driveway, and made for the track he always ran. It took him about thirty minutes on most days. He’d improved so much he didn’t even have to walk any of the way anymore but could jog.

Running was something Sasuke had started doing out of good sense, and a need to get out of the house. It had made him feel better, and that’s why he’d kept doing it. Now, however. . .

Sasuke’s guts were in a knot. A good habit! he thought. _Keep doing it!_

“_Shit_. . !” Speeding up, he sprinted through the park and all the way until he could see the lake.

A light rain started to fall and he was glad for his new pants, sick of getting soaked every time the weather was bad. Looking down at himself, Sasuke was then reminded of that grinning idiot in the store.

What a douche.

He wondered if he’d thought Sasuke was a girl or something; it was the first time he’d been hit on by a guy.

When last he could remember being around people his own age had been one year ago, at his high school graduation ceremony. His classmates had liked to tease him about his appearance, making it a race-thing more often than not. And while Sasuke had been annoyed enough at that, when girls started wanting to know whether he was Korean and trying to cozy up to him, he’d only been given the more incentive to skip classes.

Failing school had been a mistake.

Sasuke hadn’t dared to go home until the late evening, and then only making matters worse for himself. His father had waited on the porch for him. When Sasuke crept up the driveway, Fugaku threw himself and grabbed him by the neck.

Sasuke hadn’t been allowed to leave the house for two weeks afterwards: the bruises and the agonized way he’d moved had made it too obvious something had happened to him.

His father was finally allowing Sasuke to go back to school—to redeem himself, Fugaku had said, a rare opportunity. Sasuke was in a special course at the community college, starting Monday.

He slowed to a stop, his head bent back as he gasped for air. He wasn’t as strong as usual, and had to rest for a bit. People out for walks were watching him curiously, and Sasuke avoided them by staring at the lake.

A duck lunged for him.

“Woah. . !” stumbling into a run, he glared at the hissing animal. “Motherfuck—. . !”

With the duck in the background, wings out and chasing him, Sasuke’s mind was invaded by a thought.

That guy at the store called me ‘pretty’. Pretty! Had anyone called him ‘pretty’ before? Sasuke didn’t think so. What was his name again? He was sure he’d heard the cashier say his name.

It wasn’t that he was charmed. He thought the guy had been a cringe-lord if anything, but Sasuke had been strangely moved by the event.

The confidence of the douche, and the attention he’d given Sasuke had gotten to him.

*

Naruto hated the insurance company, hated them devotedly and without reserve.

He was shoving a month-old letter into his back pocket (the outcome of a shitshow-meeting) as he made a point and a show out of limping all the way inside the community college.

It should be illegal to torture cripples, Naruto grumbled, but it wasn’t.

He had been signed up for a special course by his insurance agent (see, he had refused to contact the community college himself, and so his agent had kindly done it for him). The Insurance Company had reached the decision (without his input, mind you) that they were done financing Naruto’s meagre existence, despite his disability, and now he had to finish high school if he wanted any more money out of them.

He wasn’t always limping, and that was his crime.

“Fucking shoot me. . !”

At least he wasn’t being forced to study with a bunch of fourteen-year-olds (the horror) so he tried to focus on his sincere gratitude for that—but still. He was older than the vast majority of his classmates.

Maybe he could find someone who was at least 30, and they could hang out.

With schedule in hand, he read: assembly. A rush of memories from school flooded him, and he thought that he was going to start screaming for real. Obediently however, he made his way toward the growing hustle and bustle farther inside the building.

*

It was a god damned circus. Something like three hundred people, mostly kids (meaning people between the ages of eighteen and twenty-one) were practically flush together on chairs. The room was huge, of course, but it didn’t help in making Naruto feel like he could blend in with the crowd. He wondered if when they looked at him, the kids saw a teacher rather than a classmate.

“Fuck my life,” he greeted one and all.

A mortified Naruto as well as the rest of the participants were welcomed by the principle on stage, prattling awhile. They were then instructed on where to go, according to what group they were in. Naruto got a Mr. Hatake for teacher. He went to classroom 7, one hour after the ceremony had begun.

*

The classroom was nice enough. It, too, was much like what Naruto could remember from compulsory ed., except that the tables were arranged in a circle instead of rows. He wondered if this would be consistent with the term, or if it was just a temporarily friendly thing.

Naruto sat at the place farthest from the whiteboard. He had about twenty classmates from what he could tell, yet he avoided looking at any of them. Pulling at his orange hoodie and sitting down at a random spot in the circle, he rested his chin in his palm, trying to look bored so that he wouldn’t look embarrassed.

The teacher walked in—Naruto could guess from the basket of books and the cup of coffee. He frowned at him. Mr. Hatake was wearing a face-mask, one of those paper ones like Asians do in public. A crazy thing to do in the west, so Naruto shifted in his seat, wondering if this was really his teacher and not some kind of terrorist.

“Hello, children!” erupted then suddenly the man. “I am Kakashi, your homeroom and history teacher, so take a good look at my face or you’ll forget it! _He-he_!” Not a terrorist, Naruto concluded, just a moron.

Kakashi turned around to sip his coffee without showing anyone what his face looked like.

“Now!—” he pivoted back “—Today’s special because it’s only your first day here at College! _He-he_! Think of it as a second shot. I don’t want you to worry about being swamped with work, because we’ll be going at your pace—whatever that is. Alright? Wouldn’t want to upset you by giving you obligations in life.” The class collectively shifted and Naruto’s eyes widened in disbelief of this guy’s flippancy. “_Yes, indeed!_” Kakashi breathed, content. “I expect spectacular success out of every one of you in failing! So, now that we all hate each other—welcome! To adult life! I trust you all got your safety nets at the handout.”

Naruto felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and inwardly cursed. What could it be this time?

While Kakashi was rambling about his students having merely taken a wrong turn in life and everyone eventually re-assembling outside of time, something about lateness and earliness being societal constructs was found and Naruto checked his messages.

‘I’m in town. Do you want to meet for lunch?’

It was from Sakura. What was he going to do? Say ‘no’? That’d stress out the elephant for sure. He typed the only thing available to him and hit send.

“Ya-hoo?” The teacher whistled, and Naruto looked up. “Am I invisible? You’re already so bored with me you’re dropping out of your seat?”

“What? No! I was just checking something!”

“What were you checking? Whether you put on pants today?” Kakashi tilted his head as if to scold him, and smiled underneath his mask. “Young man, the bathrooms are in the hall if you need them.” The class laughed while Naruto’s face burned.

Great first impression, there.

Looking like a complete horndog in front of a bunch of babies (even if it was clearly just a joke) was probably the last thing Naruto had ever wished for himself. He sank deeply into his chair and screwed up his face.

*

When it was lunchtime and they all left the classroom, of course Sasuke was looking at the blonde, all tripped up ever since they’d come in together. He’d recognized him, and nearly had a meltdown.

The guy from the store hadn’t noticed him at all, was doing nothing but looking absolutely livid for forty-five minutes straight. Sasuke thought his face looked pretty funny like that, not intimidated by it. He wasn’t scared of anyone’s anger but his father’s.

Sasuke was planning on going down the street to Starkmuck’s for a coffee, but found himself having to hang back out of social anxiety: the blonde store-guy was heading there ahead of him. Sasuke had to—like—take a seat on a park bench and pretend to check his phone.

*

Naruto had made it to the coffee shop before Sakura, and was waiting at a table for her.

One latte sat in front of him. He’d not wanted to buy two of them in case Sakura’s cooled in the time it took her to arrive: that would upset her for sure.

That minute the door pinged, signaling her arrival. She looked winded, red-cheeked and pretty. Naruto smiled, instantly reminded of the girl he’d fallen in love with, who’d pretended to be a runner just to spend time with him.

“Hey,” she puffed, out of breath. Naruto laughed and asked her:

“You okay?”

“Yeah—” she didn’t respond to his good humor, so it quickly faded “—just a bitch to get here without a car this time of day. Didn’t you get one for me? Great. Thanks a lot.”

“I would’ve, I just didn’t want it to get cold! You can have mine, ya know!”

“No, thanks. Be right back.” She slung her coat and scarf over the backrest of the other chair to Naruto’s table, and then went to the counter to order. He could tell from the look of her, and the tone of her voice. . . But he didn’t know if he was feeling ready.

Sakura came back to the table with an orange-juice and a scone.

“No coffee?” asked Naruto. Maybe this was as ready as he’d ever feel.

“Nope.” Sakura shook her head and bit into her scone. She wasn’t looking at him. He realized in a flash that he was tired of their charade, and eager to speak like two normal human beings again. He leant back in his seat and propped one foot on his knee.

“What is it?” he asked coldly, looking right at her. Sakura’s green eyes pierced him before white lids covered them again. She was hesitating, but they were on the same page alright.

“Could you just wait a second?” she requested quietly. The door pinged.

“Wait a second? Haven’t I waited enough? Just tell me what’s on your mind! Please! I’ve been dying to know for months!”

“_Hm_! If you’ve been dying to know, then how come you never asked?”

“Because you’ve been looking like you’ll bite my head off if I tried it! Kinda like yer looking at me right now. . ! So, just spill already cuz I’m sick of walking on eggshells—seriously.”

“. . .You should really take a look at yourself, you know. You’re not the easiest person to talk to. I haven’t felt like I was safe to—”

“What!” he erupted, leaning forward again. “Safe! You haven’t felt _safe_!? Are you outa yur fucking mind!?”

“—Don’t yell at me, please.”

“I’m not yelling!”

“People are looking. . !” She was right. Naruto forced himself to take a deep breath, before speaking more quietly.

“Yer the one who wanted to have this discussion at a fucking _Starkmuck’s_!” he pointed out.

“Lower your voice, or this discussion’s through.”

“Wha—!” he was flabbergasted “—you want me to whisper? Sakura, _when_ have I ever made you feel unsafe?”

“You come off as very violent sometimes, okay? When you slam doors and stomp around fuming I get scared of you. I’m not a fighter; I’m a fucking receptionist, alright? You could—” She interrupted herself. Biting her lips, she shook her head at her scone before taking another nibble at it. But Naruto urged her, wanting to hear what she was trying not to say.

“I could _what_?”

“You could—really hurt me, if you got it in your head.” He couldn’t scoff enough, but tried it in every direction. This was coming out of nowhere; Sakura had never mentioned that she’d been afraid of him, or was thinking he might hurt her someway.

It was the shittiest feeling in the world.

“If I got it—why, though, would I get something so fucking crazy into my head? I lo—I mean I—really care about you and I—wouldn’t dream of—wait—what the fuck?” Happening to catch movement by the counter, and thinking he’d seen something worthy of note, he stared.

It was Kiba’s customer from last week. He was standing not three meters away, trying to turn invisible by the looks of him and pretending not to have seen Naruto but flicking nervous glances at him all the time. Naruto shook his head, his mouth gaping. The guy ran his hand through his hair and turned his back fully towards Naruto—but he was soon peering over his shoulder like a total wackjob.

“_Naruto_!” Sakura demanded back his full attention. “I’m leaving you. I’ve already packed my stuff, and I’m not coming back to your dingy apartment. That’s final.” She stood and her chair screamed.

“_Dingy_!?” Naruto stood too. “Wait, yer—what? Just like that? What about me? What do I get to say about it?”

“You don’t get to say anything because you don’t own me.”

“What the fuck? Own you? Where’s all this coming from!? Yer making me out to be some kinda monster! Just wait a second and talk to me!”

“I already told you what I needed, so we’re officially done with each other! I’ve shown you the respect of telling you in person. Now, don’t—” Naruto was reaching for Sakura’s arm, but she jerked it away “—_touch me!_ and don’t try to stop me! You’ll be gaining nothing from it. . !” She took her coat and her scarf and she marched toward the door, leaving her half-eaten scone and her juice. Naruto stumbled half-heartedly after, all confusion.

“Sakura!”

“Goodbye, Naruto!” The door pinged a third time and she was gone.

He felt like the whole of Starkmuck’s were watching him—because it was true. The place was eerily silent with interest in his fuck-up. From half-shock and half-self-preservation he dared to look at their faces, one and all, until he stopped on Kiba’s customer’s. The guy was fidgeting like crazy, and turned piping red, looking like he’d start crying on top of everything else.

Taking his coffee from the counter and clearing his throat, he stepped up close to Naruto, whispering:

“Aren’t you going to follow her?” Naruto jerked back to awareness.

“Well, you heard her. . !” he argued.

“She might be hoping you’ll stop her though, right?”

“It’s too late for that.” The customer was embarrassed for him, and only too happy to leave Naruto alone, so he covered his face with his free hand and slunk out of the coffee shop just as quickly as propriety would allow.

Naruto, alone with his captivated audience burst into action, taking his jacket. He also made an exeunt, but not to chase after Sakura. She could go to hell for all he cared. He was pissed, and had _obligations_ to attend now.

School should come as a distraction from the way his life was frolicking in sewage water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bah. I wrote this. I'm stressed out. Enjoy.


	2. O haha, Very Funny

In class, Naruto was disappointed to find that he and his classmates wouldn’t be dealing with any actual work but ‘getting to know each other’—like he had any kind of interest in kicking it with kids. It was the dumbest thing he could imagine himself doing on the same day as getting majorly dumped, and it showed.

On the edge of blowing his top off, he’d been checking his phone on and off ever since walking out of Starkmuck’s. Sakura had not contacted him.

“I’m Sasuke and nineteen,” sounded a voice Naruto didn’t quite catch. “Blood-type AB. I don’t particularly like doing anything, but there’s plenty of stuff I don’t like to be doing. As for my talents: I’m a decent worker, I’m not easily distracted, but I find it difficult to get motivated about stupid stuff. I don’t have any pets, and I don’t like them either.”

“You’re—done?” asked Kakashi, nodding.

“As far as I’m concerned.” Naruto’s head shot up at this cool reply. He suddenly realized he knew that voice!

“The fuck!?” he shouted across the room. All turned to look at him. The customer (whose name Naruto now knew to be Sasuke) shimmied a little bit lower in his seat. “What’re _you_ doing here!?”

“I go to school here,” he replied sourly. “What’s it to do with you?”

“Did you fucking follow me!?”

“I was in here _before_ you! If you’d paid closer attention to your surroundings instead of just playing with your phone, you’d find that there’s a bright, big world all around you!”

“What!” Naruto was stunned. “Wow! _What_!? What’s with the incredible sass!? Yer _nineteen_!?” He gasped this last part, placing his hand over his heart. Oh, God—they’re eight years apart? Then the dude’s practically an infant! What about all the dirty, nasty things that had been crossing Naruto’s mind, right and left and all over it!? He felt taken for a spin, decided he wasn’t to blame for his mistake and instantly had to hate Sasuke.

“Why? You jealous or something?” the boy of the hour asked.

“Alright, save it for after class,” Kakashi interrupted. “Shino, would you be second?”

“The fuck is yur problem and watchu smirking at me for!?” Naruto shot out of his seat. His chair went flying, and he pointed his finger at Sasuke. “You got a shit-eating grin on yur face right now and I’ll tell ya I don’t like it, ya know, so knock it off or I will!” Sasuke sputtered and laughed at him.

“What happened? Did you have a stroke?” he asked. Naruto had not had a stroke; Naruto had an accent.

It was okay most of the time; living in Washington State meant that people could tell he wasn't from there, but it wasn’t overly obvious. Some stuff like calling roundabouts ‘traffic circles’ or mispronouncing ‘pajamas’ was mostly what gave him away; otherwise, he was just praised for his subtle, rustic charm.

When he was upset however, the southern twang sparked alive.

“What? Yer giving me crap for how I talk too!?” He’d done well in trying to wash it out, called himself ‘cultivated’, but secretly missed the Appalachian mountains.

“You sound like a hillbilly. . !”

“I'm not a fuckin' hillbilly; I'm southern! You state-racist or something!?” Sasuke gaped at Kakashi as if to say: are you just going to sit there? “You never heard of a half-n-half? Kay, my mom was from Florida, alright? I can’t help the way I talk, not that there’s anything wrong withit!” Naruto cleared his throat harshly.

“You think it would annoy _me_ that you’re from out of town!?” Sasuke raised his voice to say.

“_’Me!’_” Naruto mocked.

“You can be from Mars for all I care! But don’t blame it on other people when they laugh at you for making an ass out of yourself!”

“(clears throat) _H__rm_! Naruto,” Kakashi started saying. ”Would you like to introduce yourself to your Washingtonian yet no less well-meaning classmates?” His amusement was clear.

“_Ha_!?” Naruto barked. “Sure! My name’s Naruto and I’m _twenty_-_seven_! I talk funny, I guess, cuz I moved here when I was a kid, and my temper’s real nostalgic! No, I don’t go to church and yes, I do know how to ride a horse—what's witchu acting high and mighty 'bout _umbrellas_!? Can we be good with one another at that!?”

“Any—hobbies you’d like to share?” Kakashi wondered evenly.

“Fucking—!”

“Oh? Oh!” The class hive-minded a grin.

“—chores! Just looove doing chores!” Naruto bit his bottom lip, preventing further cursing from coming out.

“Like hammering a fence? or mending a stable?” A random classmate asked this, and Sasuke snickered into his hand. Then he whispered to them: ‘Give the guy a break’.

“Bitch, you think I’ve room for a horse in this cluster-fuck of a city? Where? I can barely fit my car some places! Not to mention—whose _fence_!? Are you kidding me!?”

“You look like you’d be good at it, is all. Physical things,” a female classmate commented sarcastically. Naruto gawked at them.

“I am—_too_ old for you. . !” he announced.

“I’m twenty-two?”

“Definitely too old. I wouldn’t touch you with pliers, ya know!”

“Pick up your chair and sit down, grandpa! You’re not that interesting,” said Sasuke. He had an irritated look on his face.

“_Oh! I’m not interesting enough for Sasuke_!” Naruto answered him in a mocking, distorted voice. What an annoying little shit he turned out to be. Sasuke bristled, and Naruto considered it a win, meaning he could sit down with a clear conscience. “Yeah, suck it! Like yer all that yurself. . !” He was officially pushing madness. He couldn’t wait to just get home, fall down and crank out some Zs.

*

It would seem, that fate might rather subject him to a big ole Y before any of that could happen however.

At 4 o’clock in the afternoon, Naruto was in the college’s parking lot, getting into his car. He was about to close the door and be done with this shitty day when two polished, black shoes scraped the pavement next to him. He let his reaching hand drop, and raised his head instead.

Of course it was that jailbait, Sasuke, and he was looking down at him with odd intent.

“What?” Naruto bit out. “What do you want?”

“Can I have a ride home? I didn’t bring my bus pass this morning.”

“. . .I’m sorry, _what_? You want a _ride_?”

“Do you mind?” Naruto here scoffed, laughing sharply because he was so set aslant.

“Wh—do I mind? Yeah, I mind, I think! A lil bit! Who even are you!?”

“Fine. . ! Only to the station then. I’ll—beg for a new pass or something.”

“What the fuck? I’m not giving you a ride; you can forget it! Kid, I’m sorry about the other week in the sports store, alright? I didn’t know you were just nineteen, and I was being an ass!” Naruto said this, thinking it would make Sasuke go away. When it didn’t, and he just stood there stupidly staring at him like he was deaf, Naruto’s temper flared and he raised his voice. “We’re not friends!” he said. “We don’t know each other! Now, piss off, would ya? The bus stop’s right there. . ! Go—beg the driver or something, not me.” He leant out of his car, pointing down the lot to an obvious stop, and then just as he was about to close the door, Sasuke shot his hand out and held it open.

“Fine!” he snapped. “But could you at least let me borrow your phone so I can call my father? I know you have one.” Naruto almost fainted from how hard he huffed at this. Glaring up at Sasuke, he laughed:

“Yur _father_? You wanna call yur _father_?”

“You got a problem with that? Maybe you’ve never heard of fathers before. Maybe you don’t have one, huh? I’ve got to get home somehow, don’t I?” Oh, hell no.

Now Naruto was jumping out of his car, and Sasuke stumbling backwards straight off the bat.

“Oh!”

“Actually,” he began. “I _don’t_ have one! Thanks a lot for bringing it up—” Sasuke jerked, apparently unprepared to hear that “—but what would you know? You probably still live at home witchur folks and have the table set for you, right? You look like it!” Sasuke had his hands up to keep Naruto away. His eyes flickered as he made his response:

“Sorry. But could I actually borrow your phone, though? It’ll be quick.”

“I don’t know! Are you gonna use it Gewgle orphan-jokes and show ‘em to me?”

“Just forget it then,” Sasuke growled, turning on his heel. The problem was Naruto had become invested in their little exchange, and wouldn’t let him just go. He followed him and grabbed his arm.

“Hey!” Sasuke was pissed and it showed. He yanked on his arm very hard, but when he couldn’t free himself that way he instead went limp, looking up and at Naruto’s face with a new, unrecognizable feeling.

“’Hey’ yurself!” Naruto barked. Pressing his phone to Sasuke’s chest, he then told him: “Go on and borrow it. . ! Show me how you talk to yur _father_. . !” He proceeded to wait, eager for a humiliating show.

Sasuke fidgeted a little, finally looking down at the phone in his hand.

“You have to unlock it,” he mumbled, waving it around.

“I don’t have a lock; it’s stupid.”

“_You’re_ stupid,” Sasuke mumbled this before making the call, frowning intensely the whole while. During the conversation which ensued he spoke in another language, softly and unlike how he’d done with Naruto. It almost made him feel bad—almost.

“Thanks.” The guy returned the phone carefully and Naruto took it, grimacing.

“Yer welcome!” he replied. Stuck in place and turning his phone over in his hands, he wondered if it was okay for him to just go now—after everything. It didn’t seem right somehow. After a minute, Sasuke sighed.

“What?” he wanted to know.

“So is he picking you up?” Naruto looked up at the kid, hoping to assuage his own concern.

“Yes! He’ll be here in a while.” The kid was avoiding eye-contact, looking away out across the parking lot. A light rain began to fall. Naruto ducked a little bit, cursing up at the sky. Sasuke just stood where he was. Naruto raised an eyebrow at him, folding the collar of his jacket up.

“Long while?” he then asked.

“Just a bit. . !” The kid was weird. Who just stood around in the rain without even reacting to it? He was just looking straight ahead now, like some zombie. Naruto became caught up in trying to figure out his deal.

He really was too cute. Jet black hair—like, naturally jet black!—that was styled, kind of long in the front, framed his face in a sort of shameless fuck-me-do.

Naruto blushed, looking angrily away and shoving his hands in his pockets. Jesus, stop. Then he was glancing sideways again.

The kid also had this girlish, white skin and some seriously handsome features. A jackpot in human form, then. Ass.

Naruto snorted, finally tearing his attention free. He looked forward.

Imagine what it must be like to be Sasuke, with a face like that! Naruto cursed himself and tried to leave after all, but hesitated.

Sasuke noticed.

“What’re you doing?” he hissed at him. It was weird of him to speak now that a couple of minutes had passed, and it made Naruto smile to himself. The kid must be feeling uncomfortable.

“Waiting for yur dad witchu.”

“Why?”

“Why do you care?”

“Why do you care if I care?”

“Wh—” Naruto’s brain did a back flip. He scoffed. “Never mind why! I just do. . !”

“. . . But why?”

“D’you wanna wait under the roof maybe?” he jerked his thumb toward the college building. The rain was hazy, but it crowded the air and made it grey. They were both getting wet from it.

“No.” Naruto hunched his shoulders higher. The kid blew a drop off water off of his nose. “Why don’t you just leave me alone? Why are you even here?”

“Yer the one who asked for my help.”

“Which you so graciously provided!”

“I did, though! In the end, I did!”

“Thanks a lot. . !”

“_Tch_! Ya know, you—you should really show people some god damned gratitude when they do stuff for you! I don’t have to be here! And I didn’t have to let you use my phone, neither!”

“I already said ‘thank you’! _You’re_ the one who should learn how to take a hint!”

“Well, shucks, princess! Here we are and yer dropping hints!? Speak clearly! Insteada wondering how come people aren’t magically following yur secret fucking wishes! Never shoulda bothered to keep _you_ company! I’m outa here. . !” Naruto pulled on his jacket, trying to wrap it tighter about himself as he briskly began to walk away.

“I don’t mind waiting by myself; I’m not a child!” that Sasuke kid shouted after him. “And I don’t recall asking you to wait with me anyway!”

“Enjoy the rain, ya fucking pissant!” There was a pause, a moment where the kid surely stood gaping and twitching with anger. Then Naruto heard his furious voice carry across the parking lot:

“Don’t forget your cane tomorrow, Limpy!”

Naruto spun around so fast he almost fell over. His chin was so dropped, it was flat to his chest. This little son of a—!

He flipped the shithead the double bird, and bit himself in his anger. And so, holding his freshly bleeding cheek, he saw the guy just waving him farewell.

“_Asshole_!” Naruto shouted over the roof of his car before jumping inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

*

During the drive home (as well as while he was walking into the apartment) Naruto had been maintaining one drawn out frustrated cry. He’d stomped up the metal staircase—

“A-A-A-A-A” –entered his apartment—“AAAAAAAAAAAA~”—and slammed the door so hard the picture frames fell off the walls. He kicked off his shoes next, and tossed his jacket on the floor. Then he went into the kitchen and stuffed his mouth full of bread, if only but to muffle his cry. “AAAFFFFFF—” but he choked and stopped shouting altogether “—(cough) (cough) _Shit_! (violent coughing)” Naruto was bending forward, with his hands on his knees and hacking up a lung. The bread fell on the floor, wet and spongy. He pivoted and spat into the sink. His eyes were tearing up, and he groaned gutturally so that the sound reverberated in the sink.

Sakura was gone.

Naruto touched his face with both hands, then made a pathetic noise.

He thought to go and inspect the bedroom. Had she really taken all her stuff? On his way there, he stepped in the moist bread and cursed, wiping his foot off on the carpet.

The bedroom turned out ransacked. The drawers of the dresser were pulled out and half-empty. The bed was stripped of sheets and the curtains disappeared. It looked so naked and sad, he couldn’t stand looking at it.

Shooting one last look at the huge World Taekwondo X Association flag left unmolested on the wall, Naruto pulled on a stony expression and shut the door on that, the altar of his fucking failures.

Flopping down into the couch, he took out his phone and called Kiba.

“_Uh, yeah_?”

“Heyyy, man! It’s me.” He tried to sound happy, but it wasn’t working. He tried clearing his throat, like he could pass for hoarse over heartbroken. “Listen I—was wondering if maybe you felt like getting together sometime later today? I could—I don’t know—get us a couple beers and we could play some Red Red Red 2 or something. Whaddaya say?” Please say ‘yes’.

“_Uhhh_—_jeez, you know, you’ve caught me at a bad time actually_.” Please?

“Oh, no. I’m sorry.” Naruto checked his nails, then the window.

“_I, uh, don’t think I’ll be able to get away the rest of the day, hate to tell ya. But, uh, you’ll be alright, right? I mean—nothing’s happened, right?_”

“What? No! No, I guess it hasn’t.” He didn’t want to tell Kiba Sakura had left him when his buddy didn’t have time to talk. It would make him feel in the way.

“_That’s good! I’m glad to hear it_,” Kiba laughed.

“Yeah. No, I’m sorry for bothering you, man. You go on witchur day, yeah?”

“_Yeah, alright_.”

“Talk to y’later.”

“_Bye!_”

Hanging up, Naruto felt empty.

So, Kiba was busy and couldn’t hang out. It must be due to his new job. The poor guy was being run into the ground, of course. Well, then. What should he do by himself so he won’t have to think about how he’s the biggest fuck-up alive?

Alcohol and Red Red Red sounded good.

*

“C’mere ya—pansy! I just want chur skin? Iz no big deal—God! GOD! JESUS CHRIST, A BEAR!” Swaying back and forth on the couch, Naruto let his head fall back while he groaned without restraint. “A—ye’s just fuckin’ great! I’m dead. Better—better drink and ferget allabattit. . !” That night, the couch seemed too good for the likes of him.

*

At dawn, red light was flooding his living room. Where he lay on the floor, drooling on the carpet, the sun found his eye at just the right angle to blind him, and make him cry out as the sound of clamoring stairs woke him up--followed by a car engine igniting.

“_Ahg_. . !” His hand shot to cover his face. Naruto had a bad feeling, and it wasn’t just the hangover. He lifted himself up on his hands, listening.

That was his car starting.

Wiping his chin, he flew up, nearly threw up, and sprinted through the living room, through the kitchen and right into the front door with a _thud_. He flipped the lock and threw the door open before crashing into the metal railing outside.

In the parking lot, his car was pulling out. Sakura was driving it. She saw him and he saw her. Naruto’s gut churned with anger.

“HEY!” he yelled, pointing. Though he was running, and taking the hell-scape stairs three steps at a time and jumping the last of the way, he still didn’t make it in time. He was too late to open the driver’s side door, and was yanked along by it as Sakura stepped on the gas. “HEEEEY! THAT’S MY CAR, YOU BITCH!” Stumbling about in just sweats and an open shirt, he was pink all over. “SAKURA!” The car was gone before he knew it, and he could still hear it going further and further away around the corner. Naruto grabbed his hair in both hands, pulling. “FUCK!” he then screamed, turning around. “FUCKING—DAMN IT! SON OF A GOD—FUCKING—STUPID BITCH!” In his rage, he grabbed the hard-plastic garbage container of the plot in both hands and toppled it. Shit went spilling all over the entry point of the parking lot, and Naruto kicked it all around like a man possessed, alternately throwing trash into the street.

*

“Hey.” The chair next to Naruto pulled out with a screech. The sound forced him to take his blonde head in his hands, and then he almost started crying.

Sakura had been right. Taking the bus was seriously the worst. First of all: the bus didn’t even show up on time. Second: when it finally did, it didn’t wait for you to find a seat before driving off. Naruto had damn near busted his foot trying to stay balanced—and of course the conveniently placed seats for disabled folk had been taken by a bunch of teens, charging their phones.

“_Ahh_. . ! Stop that. . !” Naruto whispered.

“What happened to you?” The person sitting down with him in class turned out to be that kid, Sasuke, again. It surprised him, to be honest, as he’d considered the guy sufficiently scared off the day before. Naruto was bent over with his head on the table, and he peered through his fingers. “If you can even remember what happened, that is.” Sasuke took out a notepad, a pen and a biology-textbook.

He was looking polished as fuck and crisp as hell, Naruto noticed. Sasuke’s pink lips were glossy, and the rest of him like porcelain in a white button-down with black pants and a delicate chain around his neck. The shirt wasn’t done up all the way, and the skin of his throat was exposed to the clavicle.

Naruto was disgusted, and he turned his head the other way.

Had Sasuke not looked so good, he decided he would’ve ordered him to leave him alone. Now, the kid could damn well _take a hint_ himself!

That’s when a fancy-looking candy bar appeared before Naruto’s eyes. Someone had put it down directly in front of his nose. He blinked rapidly. Sitting up so he could inspect matters, he saw that it was Sasuke’s doing.

“Wha—?” Nothing had so thoroughly confused him that he could remember. “What’s this?”

“What does it look like?” Sasuke didn’t look at him. He was slightly bent over, writing and brushing his dark hair behind his ear.

“But—"

“Jesus, just take it,” he then urged, putting his pen down and picking the bar up. He placed it in Naruto’s hand forcibly before going back to work.

“. . . Are you serious? What is—yer giving me chocolate? Why?” A suspicious thought hit him, and Naruto’s voice lowered an octave, rumbling: “What’s wrong with it?” Sasuke scoffed, the corner of his mouth lifting a little bit. He said:

“There’s nothing wrong with it. I just don’t like sweets.”

“Then why’d you have it?” Sasuke shrugged.

“Figured you might want it.”

“So, you brought it for me? Expressly? What? Are you, like, the good twin or did you actually spit on it?” Naruto was wiping his free hand on his jeans. He honestly loved chocolate so much.

“Sharp as they come, aren’t you? I spat inside a closed seal, as I do every day.”

“Well, you could’ve—resealed it with glue or something, I guess.”

“. . .Don’t flatter yourself.” The kid flicked him a look. “I might give you a little something, but I won’t sit and do arts and crafts for you.”

“’A little _something’_. . !” It rubbed him the wrong way, the way he was being spoken to. But—Sasuke didn’t actually seem out for anything at the moment. “Arts and farts and crafts, you mean,” Naruto mumbled, and put the chocolate bar in his backpack before Sasuke changed his mind—so grateful it stung.

“What?”

“Ah, no! It’s nothing. Thanks. I happena love chocolate.” The kid was feeling bad about yesterday, most likely. Naruto could sympathize with that, so he’d decided to accept the peace offering. It didn’t make them friends or anything—they were just back on neutral ground.

Naruto wasn’t forgetting that ‘Limpy’ comment anytime soon.

“You don’t say.” Sasuke snorted a little bit. “I’ll be sure to remember it.” He was writing with his left hand.

Noticing this peculiarity, Naruto couldn’t help but to be impressed by it. ‘Southpaw’, he thought. Someone who, in martial arts, has got a stronger left hook than right. It made for an unpredictable opponent. Naruto wondered if Sasuke was aware of his innate edge.

“You have really neat handwriting,” he told him. “Ya know, left-handedness is pretty cool—what isat chur doing, actually?” Leaning over Sasuke’s paper, he tried to make sense of what he was looking at. Sasuke bent so far away from him he almost toppled over.

“It’s the assignment. . !” he pressed irritably. “On cells?” Naruto was bewildered. He’d thought about it but hadn’t been convinced until just now, when the kid was almost on his feet just to avoid him: he was a fidgety weirdo, wasn’t he? probably on medication or at least needed to be--figures.

Sasuke gestured to the whiteboard. Kakashi, sitting in front of it, winked at them. _On the Differences between animal, plant and bacterial cells_, it read.

Naruto hadn’t even noticed Kakashi entering the classroom. Shit. He was unhinged himself.

“Get your act together, Uzumaki,” Kakashi said, sipping his coffee. ”Get going.” Sasuke snorted at him.

“_Sheeat_. . ! What page?” Naruto swung his head around so fast his hair whisked about him. Then he was ripping his book out of his bag, flipping the pages so fast nothing was discernable but a blurred arch. _Fpfpfpfpfpfp_, it said.

“Eight through thirty-two,” supplied Sasuke with some pleasure.

A moment passed, and Naruto was too busy now with focusing on what he was reading to pay attention to the fact that Sasuke was trying to get back in his seat. Naruto was used to taking up space: he was all elbows, knees, hands and feet in every direction. ‘Sharing’ wasn’t something he did a lot.

A hissing whisper pretty close to his ear however made him aware of the inconvenience this caused other people.

“_You’re touching me_.” Naruto jumped, shivering. He grasped his book firmly in his hands and stared at the kid over his shoulder. Sasuke was then pushing at his elbow. He had a face on which said he definitely did not want to be touching Naruto in return. “Get, Texas. . !” he added.

Headstrong little asshole.

“West Virginia. . !” he corrected him.

He snorted at the kid’s stubbornness to reclaim his space, pushing back a little bit just to fight him. Ridiculous.

Sasuke answered to the resistance with a scoff, and let go of Naruto’s elbow. He just stared at him for a second.

Naruto smirked.

Why didn’t he just move away if it was so important to him? Naruto himself wasn’t the type to realize how uncooperative it was of him to just take whatever he wanted, and not care if he happened to deprive anyone else by doing it—not anymore.

Something dark flashed in the kid’s eyes. He clicked his tongue and put his foot to Naruto’s chair, pushing it and all of his neighbor away from where he’d been sitting.

“_Woah_!” Naruto was incredibly surprised. “Jeez. . !” he mumbled, shifting a little. “So-rry. . !” Sasuke went back to work like nothing had happened. Naruto thought it was a little funny. “Ya know, you coulda just moved yourself. Make it easier.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He would’ve liked that, yeah--but what Sasuke had done instead, he probably liked better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I think I ate something funny. Could barf right here. You know that feel when you feel--and you feel--feel--like you could do anything? :) Jesus, I'm alright.  
Hey, enjoy!


	3. Why You Gotta Be All Twitchy? Damn

“So, what’re you doing now?” Sasuke had followed Naruto into the parking lot again at the end of that day. This time, however, he made no secret of it.

Naruto frowned in the sharp light, and thereby grimaced violently at him.

“_Now_?” he stressed. “I’m going home to puke and lay down.” Sasuke chuckled at this. Then he said something which almost had Naruto rethinking his whole 'neutral ground' sentiment.

“Can I come?” the kid wondered.

“_Ha_? You wanna watch me puke and snore for a few hours?” Naruto smiled, baffled, but winced shortly thereafter. “_Ow_. God—it even hurts to smile. . !”

“Where are you going?”

“Bus stop.”

“You didn’t bring your car today? Why not?”

“Never mind why. . !” Fucking Sakura, the douche. He’d probably called her ten times today, but had she answered? Nooo.

“Which one are you taking?”

“Sixty.”

“Me too!”

“How about that.” Naruto and Sasuke stood together at the bus stop, and a drizzle began to fall. Naruto sneered up at the sky and shuffled backwards, closer under the shelter of the glass roof. Sasuke followed. Naruto looked at him stealthily. Sasuke was returning the inspection and made him jerk with surprise. “What?” he asked.

“What?”

“Yer looking at me. . !”

“You looked first.”

“I did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did—idiotsayswhat.”

“What?”

“_HA_! _Ow_!” At his own cry of delight, Naruto brought himself into a world of hurt. He cradled his head in his hands, and sat down on the stop’s bench. Sasuke stood with his hands in the pockets of his coat, and with his chin tucked into his collar. He was smiling to himself.

“You are so dumb; are you for real?”

“_Ughhh._ I’m not having that from the guy who said ‘What’ just now.”

“Right.”

“Irrefutable proof of who’s really dumb.” Sasuke covered his mouth and twitched a little. He looked away for a second. Was he laughing? He was blowing Naruto’s mind, for sure.

“Okay,” the kid then said. “Sure. Come on, Grandpa. The bus’s here.” Naruto felt him kick his shoe, and decided it wasn’t worth the hassle to resist.

“Don’t kick me.”

They both got on, then sat closely together. Sasuke quickly started fidgeting.

“Ya know, I don’t like it when you call me ‘Grandpa’,” Naruto argued after a minute. “I’m not old—and what’re you even doing right now? What? Are there ants in yur pants?” Pulling on them, he pretended to look for insects. To his profound surprise, Sasuke quickly slapped his hand away. “_Woa-ha_!”

“I’m sorry!” the kid exclaimed, wearing this weird, hunted look.

“No, _I’m_ sorry!”

“It was just instinct; I didn’t mean it!”

“Look, kid, it’s alright, okay? Yer entitled to yur own space. I shouldn’ta touched you.”

“No, it’s not that! It’s fine if you do! I just—I wasn’t ready for it.”

“Ready?” Naruto snorted. He looked then carefully about himself on a hunch, and noticed their conversation was being listened in on. He straightened his back, and cleared his throat. “It’s totally fine. I wasn’t thinking straight,” he finished it, then looked out the window the remainder of the trip.

*

“Well,” Naruto spoke up, grabbing a hold of the railing in front of him. “Here’s my stop.”

“Aren’t you getting off?”

“I am.”

“Well then?”

“. . .I can’t get up until the bus is standing still. I’ve a bad foot.” Sasuke paled at this, remembering his own remark from yesterday, no doubt, and getting why Naruto had been so angry. It pleased him greatly to watch the kid squirm.

“Do you—want me to come with you?” Sasuke asked awkwardly, and it made Naruto laugh.

“Why? Are you gonna fix it? Watch out now, jitters, I might accidentally nudge yur leg. Thanks.” He and Sasuke waved to each other, and it was a bit tense.

Hopping off the bus, Naruto stood listening to it roll away. Turning his head to squint at it, he considered the suction in his stomach which definitely wasn't due to the hangover. Shrugging out of his backpack, he delved for the chocolate he’d been given. He tore the wrapper, and stuck the candy in his mouth—then groaned, biting down. His head lolled back. So good.

Down the road, the bus was roaring and diminishing little by little. Naruto watched it, smacking.

Something was seriously off about that guy.

He seemed a little nuts, ya know? A little—not right. It wasn’t just the touching thing (which Naruto finally worked out had to be something) but overall Sasuke was capital ‘W’ weird.

*

The trash remained in the parking lot, and some sections of it moved around as the wind blew. The rain pattered on cereal boxes and paper plates.

*

The next day at school, Naruto was determined to push Sasuke away.

He’d already decided he didn’t like him. The kid had given him chocolate, sure, but Naruto was a grown man, god damn it, and couldn’t be bribed with sweets! It didn’t measure up to the fact that he knew Sasuke’s type.

See, Naruto was no dummy. Sasuke was clearly looking for someone to rely on, and he had happened to appeal for some reason. Well, he wasn’t in the mood for babysitting, like he’d said, and Sakura, more importantly, was a bigger issue.

He was standing in the college’s parking lot, when the call at long last connected.

It was a cold morning. The rain that had fallen last night had frozen, and everything looked frosted and white. Naruto had his shoulders almost in his ears, and his breath was spewing out like a cloud about him. The soles of his tennis shoes stuck to the pavement as he walked in place.

“_Hello_.” Sakura sounded tired. Good. Naruto straightened to attention, and spoke loudly and clearly.

“Gimme my car back,” he commanded.

“_You can’t keep calling and calling me. . ! It’s insane!_”

“And _you_ can’t just steal shit!”

“_Why do you never back off on stuff when it doesn’t even matter!?_”

“It don’t matter? Sakura, I’m making _seven hundred bucks_ this whole month, guess how much that leaves me for taking the fucking bus every day!?”

“._ . . It’s not just your car. I need it too_.”

“Oh, you need it too!? Well, fuck me! Ya know, I’m the one who bought it! I had it since long before we got together!”

“_And if it weren’t for me, it would be a pile of junk! Who do you think’s been paying for the reparations? the insurance? the gas?_”

“Yeah, sure was easier for you to just take mine instead of getting yur own, huh?”

“_(sigh) Do you have to be such a child? It’s seven thirty in the morning; I have to go to work—_”

“I’m a child!? Yer the one who takes things that don’t belong to you, then refuse to even talk about it!”

“. _. . I _really_ don’t want to hear about ‘not wanting to talk’ from you, Naruto_.”

“Whatever. . ! You didn’t even give me a reason—” this conversation was gravitating away from the car, he realized, but he still said what he said. “—didn’t tell me ‘why’.” The other line went silent for a while, until Naruto thought he could hear Sakura crying.

“_It’s too late. Over and done with_,” she sniffed. Then, she was sighing, irritated, and spoke again. “_Great. Now I’m gonna be late thanks to you. . ! Look, just let it go_!” Naruto scoffed, insulted by the very idea. It triggered Sakura’s anger to hear it, no doubt, and she raised her voice. He could hear it breaking. She was sooo angry. “_For once in your life—let—something—go_!”

“Give me—my _fuck-ing_ car back!” Not one to be had, Naruto was so angry himself he could hear his ears rumble. This time when the line went silent, he checked the display and saw that Sakura had hung up on him—because of course she had!

It took some real letting go to not crack the thing in his hand. He couldn’t afford a new one. It wasn’t worth it.

He took a deep breath, then exhaled. He looked at the time. Late.

“Shi-t. . !”

*

Entering the school, Naruto hopped up and down a couple of times, trying to warm up.

That’s when he saw a familiar shadow pass by him in a rush, 100% catching his eye. It was Sasuke. He was trying to avoid Naruto! Unbelievable! Just like that, he went from nonconfrontational to all-the-way-provoked, and rushed after the kid.

He was to be ignored on Naruto’s terms, after all.

“Hey!” he said, halfway up the stairs. The little weirdo stopped mid-motion just ahead of him. “What’re you doing?” Naruto bounded upwards, and put himself next to him. There he found that Sasuke was stubbornly looking away. “Dude!”

“I’m not feeling well today. I think I may be coming down with something, so if you’ll stay away from me—” Nope, nope, nope. Wont. Can’t make me.

“What’s all this bullshit?” Naruto smiled at him and reached out. As his fingers closed around Sasuke’s arm though, the guy winced so loudly it scared him.

“—(gasping) Let go of my arm, please. . !”

“Fine!” His simmering anger sputtered.

This fucking kid would be dancing on his nerves no matter what he did, apparently.

“But don’t run away from m—. . .What happened?” Instantly, the anger melted off of him.

“Nothing’s happened. . ! I told you I’m not feeling well.” Sasuke was trying to hide his face, but Naruto wouldn’t let him.

“D’you think I’m stupid? I mean, actually stupid? Who did this to you?” There was a huge bruise there.

“No one did! I told you—”

“D’you get in a fight? or did someone attack you? Was it on the bus or after?”

“It’s none of your business, alright!?” Sasuke erupted, facing him fully. “Stop prying in my private stuff! God! It doesn’t concern you!”

“The hell it doesn’t.” Naruto was speaking gently now. This was serious. “I shouldn’ta left you on that bus alone; there’s all sorts of freaks in the back, and they were probably only too happy to see a pretty boy riding it for once. Just let me look at it.”

“N—no!” Sasuke stuttered.

“Sasuke! I know what I’m doing, alright? I’ve been hurt so much you’d laugh if you knew.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” Naruto stilled.

“The fuck are you saying?” Was the guy getting regularly beaten up? “Come with me.” He took Sasuke’s hand, and started pulling him along down the stairs.

“Where are we going!?”

“Just come!” They went to one of the bathrooms, and Naruto pushed Sasuke inside. He followed closely behind, flipping the lock. “Hold still.” The kid was stuttering like crazy by now, but he didn’t fight when Naruto took him carefully by the neck, and brushed his hair out of his face.

There was a painful-looking swelling on the side of his forehead. A bright-purple black eye the size of one fourth of his face convened at Sasuke’s right eye, which was barely visible through the swelling.

“Look at me,” Naruto said. “Follow my finger. Don’t move yur head.” He moved his index finger back and forth in front of Sasuke’s face, and the guy followed it fine, thankfully. “Have you seen a doctor?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Well, you should. Trauma to the head should always, always be examined by a doctor.”

“I know.” Sasuke looked at his shoes, pushing Naruto’s hands away finally. Naruto made a decision then—one he hoped he wouldn’t regret. But it was the right thing to do.

“So, let’s go,” he said, flipping the lock and opening the door.

“What?” Sasuke looked and sounded shocked. “You’re taking me? What about school?”

“_Psh_! How d’you think I first got into being a fuck-up? Some things’re just more important!” Stepping out, he held out his hand for Sasuke to take. The kid looked at him skeptically. He wouldn’t accept the hand, but did exit the bathroom and came with him. “Let’s go!”

“How do you know so much about this stuff?” he then asked quietly. Running his fingers through his bangs, he was making sure they covered as much of his face as possible. Naruto put his arm behind Sasuke’s back, and started walking toward and out the entrance of the college.

He took out his phone again, and punched in the number for a cab service.

“I was a martial artist before I had my accident, training to be an instructor. In that community, you wouldn’t believe how many injuries you see.”

“_You’re a martial artist_?” Sasuke gasped these words strangely. “You’re really taking me to the doctor’s right now?”

“Yup. Hi! I’d like to order a cab for the community college. Hospital. Thanks. Bye. ” Who the hell had the heart to beat someone like Sasuke’s been beat? No one but a monster, to be sure. Naruto was almost shaking. “The cab’ll be here in five minutes,” he told the kid. “Let’s go down to the road.”

For Naruto, what he was doing wasn’t anything new. He’d taken plenty of the kids in his old club to see doctors when they’d not known what to do themselves. Being used to taking control, he didn’t think twice about it. Not having a car this time around was new, though.

Sasuke wasn’t talking, just staring at his shoes. Naruto still had his arm around him.

Rubbing his back, he said:

“It’s gonna be alright. I’ll help you. I’ve annoyed them before, so don’t you worry.” He would later recall that Sasuke hadn’t pulled away, nor reacted what so to being touched.

*

After they were done at the hospital it was the evening already. Naruto and Sasuke got into another cab, and the kid was straight up giggling.

He flopped down into the backseat while Naruto took the one next to the driver’s. He smiled uncertainly behind himself.

“You okay?” he asked, then instructed the driver on where to go.

Sasuke nodded, hiding his mouth under his hands.

“You look like yer about to shit yourself, ya know.” The kid squeezed his eyes shut at this, turning red and bending slowly forward. For a second, Naruto almost thought he was about to start howling in pain or something, but then he was sitting back up again and taking deep breaths. “Oh, my God, yer laughing yur ass off,” Naruto understood with a smile. “Glad to see the pills’re helping.”

“They are! They are. _M-hm-hm_!”

“Y’gotchur scan?”

“Right here!” With a flutter, Sasuke held up an actual scan of his brain. Sasuke was insured, Naruto had learnt once they'd been seen at the clinic, and he'd almost collapsed from relief to hear it. “Hey,” Sasuke said. “Do you think this is a normal brain?”

“They said it was, though I’m not so sure.” The cab driver smiled at this, turning the wheel and watching the road. Naruto mimicked the expression, and exchanged a look with her.

“It looks kind of—creasy.”

“They’re all creasy, princess. Yer fine.”

For ten minutes, they rode in relative silence. Naruto made small talk with the driver, and Sasuke repeatedly stared at him. It made him uncomfortable. He’d realized something significant as soon as Sasuke had given him the address to his house, and it turned him off to talking with the guy.

“Which way now?” he asked only for the driver’s sake, turning around in his seat so he could see Sasuke. The kid looked up from his scan and down the road. He seemed to lose his good mood.

“_Uh_, it’s straight ahead and then a left.”

“’Kay.” Naruto turned back around. “Hey, you—didn’t tell me who _put_ that stamp on yur face, ya know.”

“Just some guy in the street.”

“What’d he look like?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? You mean you can’t remember?”

“No, I mean I just don’t know. . ! Look, just forget about it, okay? It’s already a big deal as it is thanks to you.” Naruto made a face. He looked at the driver who shrugged emphatically. Then he turned around again, leaning for Sasuke.

“’A big deal?’” he repeated. “Yeah, actually, it is a big deal! If I’m about to drop you off at some abusive fuck’s right now you have to tell me!” The kid didn’t respond. “Sasuke! Right now!”

“I’m not a child. You don’t have to worry about me at all. I get jumped from time to time, alright? I can take care of myself.”

“_Psh_! Obviously.” A thought struck him then—a horrible thought. He cleared his throat. “You get jumped, was it? So, like—uh—are there any other injuries or—anything—you didn’t mention at the hospital?” He squeezed the fabric of his backrest, making it groan. Another moment of silence passed. Naruto kept looking at the kid.

“Huh?” he urged.

“Like getting beaten isn’t bad enough?”

“I have to ask.”

“Why? Are you supposed to be some kind of counselor?”

“_Mhf_! Just trying to help. . !”

“You’ve helped enough! I already said ‘thank you’.”

“Kay.” Seriously, fuck this kid. Naruto was getting fed up, and he turned back around with a bounce. “_Fine_.” He hadn’t planned to, but he was going to say something because of that. The kid be damned if it upset him to hear it! “Ya know, the bus line. . . Sixty doesn’t go here.” The backseat was quiet. “I’m not gonna ask you to tell me why, but—I need you to know that I know. I’m not stupid, Sasuke.”

“Never said you were,” sounded a mumble. A part of Naruto forgave him just from hearing the tone of his voice—there was something pleading in it that he couldn’t refuse.

“So,” he said. ”This it?” They’d come to a stop somewhere in the best neighborhood in The City.

“Yeah.” Sasuke hurried to unbuckle his seatbelt and open his door. He wasn’t looking at Naruto or the driver. See if I care, Naruto thought, be that way.

“Yer gonna be alright? Should I walk you?”

“I’m _fine_! It’s enough.” Slamming the door shut, he really left an impression. Just what the hell was this guy’s major malfunction?

The kid was walking up a fancy driveway, and Naruto saw him folding his scan carefully and tucking it inside his coat. He lived in a house. A big house, at that. It was white and had actual pillars on the porch.

Kid’s rich, Naruto figured with a snort.

He wanted to see the guy actually heading inside, feeling like Sasuke wasn’t to be trusted. The kid was ringing the doorbell. Weird, Naruto thought.

The door opened, and it was actually a full minute before Sasuke did step inside, and Naruto, admittedly, thought until then that maybe the guy had just pretended to live there for some reason. But as he went in, a middle-aged Asian man took his place, and Naruto had no doubt that Sasuke belonged there. The man on the porch was clearly his dad. Naruto waved, and received a dignified raise of the hand for his trouble. Then the man went back inside the house, and the door shut.

The suction in Naruto’s stomach was back, but what could he do? He didn’t have Sasuke’s number, and he wasn’t about to ring the doorbell right after dropping him off.

“He in some kinda trouble?” asked the driver.

“Mmyeah. Something.” He had a bad feeling though. Maybe he should wait a few minutes? Christ, no! They’d call the cops for sure! Why did he even care? because he wasn’t a piece of shit. “You have kids?”

“A girl. Fifteen.”

“She ever refuse to talk to you?”

“Only ever since she turned twelve. _Haha_!” Shaking his head, Naruto decided he needed to blow off some steam. He paid for the cab (just like he’d done for the previous one) and waved to the driver. No expensive cabs for the likes of him. He was taking the bus downtown.

*

Kiba was the one who lived downtown, of course, something like a thirty minutes’ ride from Sasuke’s place. Naruto was officially broke. He’d have enough money for the ride home, luckily, but food was going to have to be improvised the rest of the month.

Kiba lived in a high-rise, on the 12th floor. Naruto knew that it wasn’t exactly polite to show up unannounced (and at 8 p.m. besides) but he and Kiba were best buds! Things like formality wasn’t necessary between them; it hadn’t been since they were kids, asking for play-dates.

Naruto leaned his head against the steel wall interior of the elevator. It was gross. All sorts of gunk stuck to the cold metal, but he didn’t care if he got snotty spit in his hair. He was too overwhelmed with the last couple of days not to welcome filth, in all honesty. Like he’d wanted to pick a fight with his neighbors, he felt kind of giddy at the thought of covering himself in shit.

After walking down a long hallway, Naruto rang the doorbell to his friend’s apartment. It took a minute but he could then hear the floor squeaking just behind the door, revealing that someone was looking at him through the peephole. Naruto snorted.

“Come on, man! Open up!” He banged his fist on the panel, and the door unlocked before opening. Kiba glimpsed in the narrow slot. Naruto laughed at him and grabbed the door, prying it out of his grip and stepping inside the cozy little two-roomer. “What the hell?” he said.

“Naruto! What a surprise! Please, step right in, make yurself at home!” Kiba’s skin was glossy, and he was clad in sweatpants and a white tank top. Naruto had likely interrupted his workout.

“I will!” He kicked off his shoes and hurried over to the couch, tossing his jacket along with himself on it. Kiba came and sat awkwardly in a chair in front of him.

Naruto’s best friend wasn’t much better off than he was himself economically, but now that he had a job, that would be changing quickly. Kiba also had the great fortune of large windows all along the northern wall of his living room. The view of The City these afforded was fantastic. During the moment about to unfold, blue light filtered in from these windows—the moon shining through dark clouds. A light rain began to fall.

“What’s up, man?” Kiba asked, taking Naruto’s hand and bro-shaking it.

“No, I, uh—” Naruto rubbed his eyes tiredly, relaxing into the cushions of the couch. “—my life’s been turned inside out lately, ya know. I’m sorry to barge in like this. I just—I just needed to talk to you, but I don’t even know where to start.”

“No shit? Wadaya wanna talk about?”

“I didn’t interrupt anything, did I? Were you busy?”

“_Nah, nah, nah_! It’s fine!” Kiba was almost rotating, he denied it so much. Naruto nodded at him.

“Ya know, Sakura dumped me.” At hearing this, his friend leaned back in his chair, grabbed his head and widened his eyes.

“_Noo_!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah! In a coffee shop!”

“_What_! _Wheeen_?”

“Few days ago! She just texted me and said she wanted to grab lunch. So I show up, already feeling weird, right? Cuz I know she was upset just from how she typed it. And then she gets there, and just _refuses_ to look at me!” Kiba was shaking his head in sympathy. “Dude, she didn’t waste any time either! Not five minutes later she was out the door, leaving me and saying we’re through. Can you believe it? Four years! Just like that!”

“Man, that’s fucked up.”

“Yer telling me! She’d like—packed all her shit while I was at school, then probably texted me soon as she was done. Took the fucking drapes even!” Naruto laughed, but he sure wasn’t happy. “I don’t even know where she is right now.”

“_Hm_.”

“I mean, I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Things’ve been tense for a long time now. All we talk about is—was?—ya know, chores and shit like that. Swear it took the joy of life right outa me.” Kiba sat scratching his ear for a while at this. He was crossing his feet at the ankles and just looking at them. Then he said:

“Ya know, it sounds like maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing you guys broke up.”

“_What_?” Naruto frowned. “You think it’s a good thing?”

“No, I’m only saying maybe it’ll be for the best _eventually_! Like, if neither of you were happy then what’s the point in sticking together, right?”

“_Ha_! Yeah! Sure! Ya know, it’s not like in a long-term-relationship yer shitting rainbows twenty-four-seven! Sometimes things’re hard! I thought we’d definitely show we were strong enough to work through the hard times—meet halfway and all that. But I guess not. Whatever. I mean—I guess I haven’t loved her in a long time anyway. I do _love her_, I always will, but I’m just not _in_ love with her anymore, ya know?”

“_Really_? I mean: sure, that happens sometimes. And look, it’s okay, man! People grow apart; it doesn’t mean you have to say g’bye or nothing. She just needs some time to cool off—pro’ly.”

“. . .Yer right. She’ll have to talk to me at some point, right? She can’t just ignore me the rest of our lives. Like—(snort)—good luck withat!”

“Exactly. Just try and take it easy. You got enough to deal with anyway, right?” Naruto shot him a confused look. Kiba couldn’t know about Sasuke somehow, could he? “Witchur foot and all.”

“Oh! Yeah. . . But like, more'an that I gotta tell you: there’s this kid at school.”

“A kid?” Kiba’s mouth twitched. He didn’t seem to quite understand why there should be kids at college.

“Yeah, well, he’s nineteen, so. . .”

“Oh. Right, yeah! _Haha_!” They could both well remember what it had been like to be nineteen years old; it hadn’t been that long ago, and that’s why they out of embarrassment distanced themselves by this type of talk.

“Yeah. ‘Nuff said. Ya know, it’s that guy from yur store when I was there.” Kiba looked confused. “He wanted rain-proof pants?” Naruto’s friend made a sound of surprise—then mockery.

“Weren’t chu--like--all overim?”

“I was _not_!” Like he’d admit it. Things were embarrassing enough as they were. “Was just acting out.”

“Riiight!” Kiba teased him, widening his eyes. “Yer _hanging out_ withim now?”

“No, but like, he’s—obsessed with me or something!” Naruto smiled out the window. He put his right foot on his knee, pressing his thumb to the joints of the toes and making them pop.

“Obsessed?” This got Kiba’s mood up. He grinned, relaxing some. “This I gotta hear!” He seemed finally at ease with Naruto’s presence in his apartment.

“Yeah, he keeps following me around. _Heh_!”

“_Aw_, yer his idol! _Hehehe_!”

“He even gave me a chocolate bar outa the blue yesterday!”

“A fucking chocolate bar? What’re you? An animal?” They both laughed at this.

“Dude, I might be: don’t judge.”

“Jaeedit?”

“. . .Well, yeah. . ! I think he wants a friend.”

“He’ll have to find someone else, ya know what I’m sayin’?”

“Right. _Nah_, he’s okay. But chur right.”

“What’re ya doing hanging out with a nineteen-year-old?” Kiba grinned.

“I’m not!” Naruto shot forward in his seat, gesticulating. “But like today—you have to understand—he shows up at school literally purple in the face, so I had to take him to the hospital.”

“What? He get his ass beat?”

“Big time, man. I just don’t know for sure who did it. According to himself, he’s saying he’s getting _jumped_. . !” Naruto doubted this, and it showed on him. Kiba agreed. The two of them were similar in how they thought about stuff; further, they’d both gotten smacked around in their adolescence by people older than them, so they knew all about ‘attitude problems’ and ‘discipline’. They figured it more than likely to be some 'well-meaning' male relative supplying the whoop ass in every case.

“It’s like he wants me to prepare for any future black eyes I might see, ya know. I’m thinking it may be his old man doing it.”

“He lives with his parents?”

“His dad at least. Dude’s loaded! Their driveway’s bigger than the parking lot outside'a my place.”

“You should rob ‘em,” Kiba stated as a matter of fact.

“Right, and they’d never suspect who did it. The last thing I need right now is a fucking record, man.”

“Hey, I was just kidding. Yer the one who’s seriously thinking about it.”

“Shut up. I ain't.”

“So. . .What’re ya gonna do?”

“About the robbery?”

“About the kid! Damn!”

“Oh. I don’t know. I’ll tell him off. But I don’t feel good about just walking away now that I’m involved.”

“How’re you _involved_?” Kiba laughed. “The dude said it’s just people on the street. You ain’t gotta concern yurself more thanat!”

“Yeah, but—! I pretty much _know_ he’s lying about it! I can’t just let it continue, can I? What if he gets slapped around one day so bad he fucking dies, huh?”

“So call the cops then! Jesus, man! There’s not a whole lotta things you can do, ya know!”

Naruto couldn’t call the cops at all. If he did, they’d show up and unless the son of a bitch was in the middle of stuffing his kid through a meat grinder, they wouldn’t be able to do anything since Sasuke was technically an adult. It was up to Sasuke to press charges and provide evidence, if he wanted things to change—that or he could move out.

“The cops’re useless. There’s something else I can do, though.”

“Like what? Are you gonna do what the authorities won’t and become a vigilante? Inat case, I’ve got an old Halloween costume you can av: some colorful tights and a mask! But you gotta get chur own boots, ya know.”

“Oh, yer hilarious; I’m dying over here. No. But I could like—I don’t know—take him to a friend’s house maybe? There must be someone.”

“Dude. The guy’s a grown-ass man; lettim take care of his own business.”

“He is _not_!” Naruto scoffed, grinning at the absurd idea of Sasuke being referred to as ‘a grown man’.

“Yeah, but he is, though. A stupid, naïve, crease-free man.”

“He’s a baby. He needs looking after.”

“(sigh) Yer already attached! And, ya know, something’s telling me it’s not so much to do with this guy who’s getting beat by his dad or whatever, but about _you_—not coping well with being dumped—and living alone all of a sudden. Ya know what I’m sayin’?”

“I’m not attached . . ! But I can’t just walk away either. I need him to be okay; isat so bad?”

“Dude—if you fix him, it won’t automagically fix _you_. You gotchur own life to deal with, and it’s not waiting around for you to spare the time, man.”

“Yer the worst motivator ever. You can’t tell me it’s a bad thing to try and help someone who needs helping!?”

“No, of course not. But we’ve known each other too long for you to be able to make excuses at me! I’m tellin’ you: you don’t care about this kid enough to helpim. He’s just something to focus on while you’d rather forget chur own problems.”

“Dude.”

“_Haha_! Sorry! Sorry if you don’t wanna hearit. I didn’t mean anything.”

“Sure you didn’t,” Naruto said, standing up. He was feeling sick of Kiba, and had to get out of his place. “I’ll get outa yur hair already. Let chu get back to—” he gestured to Kiba’s attire and forming stank, “—whatever it is you were doing before I got here. What _were_ you doing, anyway?”

“Oh, just, uh—” Kiba stood up and pulled at the pockets of his sweats. Then he jutted his thumb at his closed bedroom door. “—plugging a hole.”

“_Uh-huh_.” Naruto glanced at the indicated door for a few seconds. Kiba swallowed. “Well, good luck withat!” Grabbing his jacket and walking to the shoe rack, Naruto heard his friend following closely behind.

“Thanks for stopping by, and--uh--drive safe and all--or like--whatever yer doing.”

“Never. . !“ He wasn’t going to tell him he didn’t even have his car. Hell no. How embarrassing. Naruto put his shoes and jacket on.

“Listen, next time—would you mind, ya know, calling me beforehand if yer coming over?”

“What? You outa yur mind?” Naruto fixed the collar of his jacket, grinning.

“I almost didn’t hear you at all!”

“I woulda called if you didn’t answer; it’s fine.”

“No, man, you shouldn’t have to make the effort! Just—what if I hadn’t been home? You’d have come all this way.”

“Alright! Whatever. I’ll call next time so you can jerk off in peace. Christ!”

“Cool. Thanks! I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah-bye!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a cold. It's funny how no matter when you get got, you never have the time to, right? I don't know when I would, though.  
Infection and stress always make me think about 'Zebras Don't Get Ulcers'. I used to read that on the bus, to and from night-class, a ride that took forever--45 minutes one way, and I'd sit there with a cheap pen and my foot up. But I didn't have a cold then, just hunger pains.


	4. On Second Thought, Why the Hell Not?

That night, when Naruto came back from Kiba's place, he found that his car was back. It was in its usual parking spot. He stopped and stared at it. There was no note or anything. Sakura must’ve dropped it off that day. A bribe, no doubt--for him to stop calling her. Her trash littered the interior of the car.

“_Tch_!”

*

A few hours later, around 1 AM, Naruto was turning over on his couch. He’d been sleeping on it for months even before Sakura left, so it didn’t bother him to stay there. It was comfortable enough, and he didn't want to go in the bedroom.

The TV shot lights and colors across him, staining his skin and bedding blue. He liked to lay there, with the TV on in the background while he thought about things. It helped him set his feelings in order.

He couldn’t get the kid off his mind.

Kiba was wrong, though. Naruto wasn’t obsessing just because he didn’t want to deal with his relationship ending; the kid needed help. If he’d been capable of helping himself then he already would’ve, so he needed someone else to do it—obviously.

So, what if the reason he’d gotten attached to Naruto in particular was because he was the kid's only hope?

Sasuke had managed to wake the protective streak in Naruto. A part of him that had been sleeping since he himself had needed protecting, three years ago, when he'd been denied it.

Back then, when he’d been an instructor-trainee under Jiraiya, he used to really care for the kids in his club on a personal level. He’d protected them from bullies, walked them to their bikes, and even had a talk once to one of the girls’ dads about what young women in fact ‘can and cannot do’—if you can believe it. Some of the kids’ parents had been in the club with them, and so they had known Naruto well. He’d been to some of their houses for dinner a few times.

Finding himself back again in a situation where somebody needed his help, Naruto was powerless before his own impulses. No matter what for, he decided, he’d be doing a good thing by helping the kid.

And it’s not like he had to adopt him.

Naruto sighed. His foot was aching: he’d stepped on it wrong. Now he had to be careful, and wait for the pinched tendon to settle back into its correct position. Peg-leg-mode, go.

He missed training; he missed it every day. He missed Jiraiya, and he felt alone. He missed what he and Sakura had had before he got hurt. He missed not being an asshole.

Pulling the covers over his head, Naruto squeezed his eyes shut. If he could just fall asleep. . .

*

Meanwhile, in Sasuke's house--

The boy was up to something.

Today, he’d arrived home in a cab. Fugaku had seen it through the curtains. There had been someone with him in the front seat—someone he hadn’t been able to see, but had glimpsed the outline of. A man, by the looks of him. He'd waved at Fugaku. But who was he?

Fugaku was not losing his last boy to these American delusions that were no doubt to blame for his recent disobedience.

He’d left his son alone quite purposefully that day, letting him think carefully on what he had done. Now, in the dead of night, he was standing outside his bedroom door. Sasuke should be asleep at this point.

Pulling the door open, it made no sound, and beyond it was the bed in plain view under the light of the bay window. His son was under the covers.

Fugaku gave the door a shove, and it hit the wall. The doorknob fitted into an old dent there, where it was then kept by Fugaku's hand. It was a good type of dent; the type sons were to be fitted into like the doorknob—as many times as was necessary.

Sasuke sat up in bed. He and his father looked at each other.

Fugaku had worked his entire life; he was not having it ruined by a child’s brainless fantasies.

He had been a good child, himself. Obedient and eager to please, as a son ought to be in regards to his father. The fact that he had always been intelligent also, had been a blessing. This became clearer for every day that passed. He hadn’t supplied this rebellious gene that now both of his sons shared.

Fugaku faulted the mother, and the country they lived in, but never himself. He didn’t leave the bedroom until he saw fear on Sasuke’s face. He had to make his point clear.

The boy was to do as he was told. No more, and no less.

When he did leave, he did it without a word. And he left the door open, knowing that it would disturb Sasuke’s sleep. Fugaku wanted to punish him that way.

*

Naruto hadn’t gone to school the next day. As it turned out, this time around was one when his foot was too painful to walk on, so he’d let Kakashi know what the deal was and then stayed home.

It was the afternoon, and he’d spent the day playing video games on his couch, drinking coffee and trying not to think about stuff.

He checked his phone every hour. Nothing but some snaps from people he only halfway knew. They were alright, but Naruto couldn’t connect with them, finding their mojos incompatible. Somehow, they still kept on snapping him selfies and shit.

Sighing, he unpaused his game. But he immediately received a call, and so paused again.

“The fuck?” It was from a number he didn’t recognize. “Hello, it’s Naruto.”

“_Hey_,” Oh, no. He knew that voice. “_You’re not at school_.”

“Sasuke—” He rubbed his face nervously, and put his feet on the floor. “—How’d you get my number?”

“_I asked the teacher for it. He said you weren’t feeling well_.”

“He did, huh? Breach of integrity, much?” Sasuke snorted on the other end.

“_You don’t sound too happy to hear from me_. _You’re breaking my heart_.” He would help the kid, yeah, but not today, damn it! Naruto felt cornered by this phonecall.

“Happy? I’m supposed to be happy cuz you don’t understand the concept of boundaries? If I wanted you to have my number, man, I woulda given it to you.”

“_Yeah, well. . .I’ll just erase it after we’re done if it’s that important to you. I’m just calling to let you know I’ve got copies for you on today’s work. All the teachers got together on their lunch-break and rushed the printer so you wouldn’t have to miss anything. They asked me to bring it over because they figured we were friends for some reason_.” Naruto didn’t know what to say in reply to this. He’d caught the insult fine, but was more importantly surprised at the kindness of his teachers—and of Sasuke, too, he supposed.

“Uh, I—thank you! That’s—actually really cool of them. . !”

“_And me. I’m also pretty cool for bringing it to you_.”

“. . . What nice teachers I have, huh, Sasuke?” Naruto smiled at his lap.

“(_Si__gh) God, whatever. . ! Yeah, you bet. So, if you’d come to the front door and open up, that’d be great because I’m in the parking lot_.” Naruto shot to his feet at this, and thus cried out in pain. “_You okay_?”

“Fine! N-now?” he asked. Sasuke scoffed directly into the receiver of his phone, and Naruto’s ear crackled with it.

“_Yes, now! I told you: the school sent me, so just open up_!” The line went dead.

Naruto was flabbergasted, staring at the phone in his hand. He hobbled up to the kitchen window which showed the front of his apartment complex and the parking lot below, and there he saw that Sasuke was indeed standing down there, waiting with a folder underneath his arm and his hands in his pockets.

“What the _hell_ is going on. . ?” He limped for the front door.

*

Swinging the door open, he whistled sharply at Sasuke. The dark-headed weirdo heard it, twitched in his direction and started climbing the stairs. They did not clamor.

Naruto became aware of his own state of dress the closer he came.

He, himself, was in his pajama pants (loose-fitting things in an orange fabric with cupcake-print) and a washed out T, while the kid wore pressed, grey slacks that fit him well; a brown leather-belt and expensive-looking ankle boots in the same material and shade as the belt; a pale-yellow sweater in some high-quality wool over a white button down, and the same black coat as usual. His hair was styled. How he found the energy to care so much about his appearance baffled Naruto.

But then he swallowed and actually hunched over a little bit—shy, to be perfectly frank. If it weren’t for the huge black-eye Sasuke had going on, he would’ve been altogether too top-model to hang out in Naruto’s neighborhood.

“How’s it going, Karate Kid?” Sasuke said derisively as he reached him. He handed over the folder he’d brought. Naruto took it, then crossed his arms. Sasuke’s eyes did a once-over and he added: “Seriously, though.”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“I don’t know. Should you?”

“You look like hell.”

“Likewise. . !” It was way too easy to tick this kid off, Naruto thought with a smile.

“_Ha_. . ! Well—do you—you wanna come in?” Sasuke looked a little surprised.

“. . .If you’ll let me, I will.” Naruto stood aside, only halfway sure he even wanted the guy in his home, and so kicking himself that he’d let the reflexive offer out in the first place.

The kid stepped into the hallway, and looked around. Naruto’s nose filled with a scent which was alien to his home. Unfamiliar detergent, some kind of hair product and—'new person’.

“It’s cleaner than I expected,” Sasuke said. He had a mean little smile on as he wrung out of his coat. It was hung on the wall next to Naruto’s.

“Thanks a lot, asshole. What gave you the idea I was a pig? _Jaee-ye_?”

“. . . I’m sorry?”

“_Jaee-ye_?” Naruto just blinked at him, picking at the corner of his eye. Sasuke stared.

“What are you saying?”

“_Di-ja-ee-ye_?” He was getting a little annoyed. Was the guy deaf?

“What—does that mean?” Sasuke was just shaking his head back and forth, looking somewhat sorry at least.

“_Food_! Did-you-eat-yet!?” His T's exploded.

“Oh! Yes, thank you, I did.”

“Kay, good!” Naruto snorted. ”You drink coffee?” He waddled over to the kitchen and refilled the water boiler, flipping the switch after. Sasuke followed him.

“Black,” he answered.

“_Blergh_! You _are_ a freak! I only have instant.” Naruto put his folder on the counter.

“_Hn_! Instant’s fine.”

“Decaf or normal?”

“And you’re calling _me_ a freak?” The kid raised an offended little baby-brow at him, and Naruto couldn’t help but to laugh. He liked the taste of coffee, but if he had caffeine in the evening he’d be up until dawn. It was a habit to ask, from living with Sakura for so long.

“Normal, then.” He wanted to fill the awkward silence with something, so he explained: “I’m really sensitive to caffeine.”

“Are you?” Sasuke appeared grateful. He sat down at Naruto’s kitchen table, looking attentively at him. Naruto could feel it burning his back.

“Yup. I’m like a senior citizen; we get along real well when it comes to coffee. Could just sit and talk about it. Like, I get all a-jitter if I have too much of it, too quickly. Then I can’t sleep.”

“It’s only three thirty,” Sasuke pointed out. Naruto turned around and handed him his cup. Then he shrugged, and poured a ton of milk into his.

“Which is why I’m having normal.”

“I don’t know about that. I’d say you’re having milk with coffee in it, and there’s nothing normal about someone your age taking it that way. Do you need some help?”

“_Hmpf_! ‘Someone my age!’ No, I’m fine. . !”

“I meant: as an adult!” The kid’s voice had a tired note to it. “Are you sure?”

“Look, I’m fine; I’ve been hopping around on one leg a while now, so don’t worry about it, alright?”

“Okay. Just ask if you change your mind.”

“If adults drink their coffee with less milk in it than I do, does that mean yer maximum mature if you drink it black—like yer doing?” Naruto sat down too, putting one foot on his knee and crossing his arms. He drank.

“I just happen to like it this way,” said Sasuke. He looked nonchalant, blowing at his coffee—and dreamy beautiful. His host knocked these thoughts out quickly.

“_Oh_!” he exclaimed. “_Oh_, I’m sure you do!”

“I do, as it just—so—happens!”

“And it’s not at all to do witchur dad or something taking it black, and you wanting to impress him, right?” That dark flash was back again, the one Naruto had seen before Sasuke kicked his chair. He cursed his own stupidity. “Shit, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking 'bout what I was saying.”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke tried to appear unaffected, but he obviously was.

“Yer gonna let it slide? Alright.”

“Let what slide?”

“Seriously? Do you wanna talk about it or not—I don’t get it..!" Naruto waited for an answer, but Sasuke didn't give him one. "_Psh_! Whatever. . !”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Naruto was a little shocked. The kid was sassing him. Because of it, he had to put his cup down, run his fingers through his hair and grimace nervously out the window. “What’s wrong with you?” Sasuke mumbled under his breath, and hid his mouth behind his hand.

“I don’t get you at all,” Naruto then deadpanned.

“You don’t _know_ me,” explained Sasuke.

“I know yer nineteen.”

“And what does that tell you? What is it with you and age?”

“It tells me yer on fire for one—”

“I’m what?”

“—super-eager to change the world, and/or prove yurself as some sorta miracle.” Sasuke scoffed at this. “Yer prolly thinking you’ll go down in history, right? Might even consider yurself a genius. Tell you what: it’s just yur frontal cortex maturing; yer getting an adult-sized brain. Everyone’s smart. It’s kinda our thing, ya know—us humans.”

“That is—probably the most depressingly offensive thing I’ve ever been told.” Naruto thought about it, then he smiled.

“Yeah,” he drawled. “Me too.”

“Who told you that garbage then?”

“Oh, the world did, young padawan.”

“So, basically: you’re nothing and I’m nothing and nobody’s anything.”

“Bingo..!”

“And I thought I had problems.” Sasuke’s black-eye seemed to wink at him then, and Naruto blushed at the secretive little smirk which took shape beneath it.

“_Ha_!” he chuckled. “Yer funny.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“Okay, so, years aside, what’s yur deal?”

“My _deal_?”

“Yeah, what’re you about? Like, who are you, ya know? You’ve lived long enough to figure that much out. I mean, it’ll change like five or six more times but right now—who are you? And what’s yur last name, by the way, I didn’t catch it at the hospital.” The kid sucked his lips a while, looking Naruto right in the eye. It made him a little choked up.

“. . .My name, Grandpa, is Uchiha. And let me say that you’re not some ancient warlock sitting in his fucking tower right now. Just because you’re older than me, it doesn’t give you the right to patronize me.” Wow, shit. Okay. Babe’s got teeth.

Cool.

“I know that! Sorry if that’s how it seems. I’m not tryina patronize you. I remember _getting talked down on_ and it sucks; makes you wanna punch my lights out, right?”

“Actually, it really doesn’t. I happen to hate violence.” Oof. Naruto was pretty sure he felt his heart break a second time this month at hearing that.

“Right,” he croaked. “No, but all I mean is: I remember what it was like to have just exited childhood and be in love with the experience of living in the world. That changes a lot in time, ya know.”

“Naruto? You have—depression!” Sasuke emphasized this with a sarcastic tilt of the head, none disturbed. Naruto however, was offended.

“Sasuke? I am—a grown-up!” he said, mirroring the other.

“It’s bullshit.”

“Yes, it is! It’s complete bullshit! Ya know, I’m looking forward to my thirties cuz then I hear I’ll not give a fuck about any of it anymore! Twenty-something-year-olds are angry, rebellious hipsters with too much time on their hands and too little experience to realize the world is crazy because _people_ are crazy, and the best thing any of us have to hope for is a decent enough job where we can make a living without working ourselves to death, so we have enough energy in our precious free-time for pursuing shit that doesn’t kill us inside!

Why do you think people waste away drinking beer on the couch? It’s because they’re too tired to lay a god damned puzzle or learn how to play an instrument. You know what I’m saying? It’s a set-up.

_Civilization_ is what’s bullshit: it’s all about money. Money is God, we worship it. It’s all that matters on planet Earth, at the demise of everything else. . !”

“Wow,” Sasuke said in an undertone. “Whatever, Bazarov.”

Naruto’s jaw actually dropped.

In Turgenev’s ‘Fathers and Sons’ the young nihilist Bazarov rants about how bullshit he finds tradition to be—only to end up falling in love with a noble lady who rejects him and breaks his heart. The guy then submits to duty (being a medical student) and is killed by infection. The only people who grieve for him are his parents, who had no other children.

“I’ve read the book; it’s not an obscure reference,” Sasuke added.

“Well, fuck you!” Naruto exclaimed, wondering whether the guy would also confess to speaking Russian. “Then, I guess, you know all about a problem as old as the industrial revolution too! You got any thoughts on—fucking—wage slavery?” He was joking now, and squinted at the kid.

“None that I’m about to share with you, you fucking commie,” Sasuke laughed quietly, bending over his coffee.

“_Oof_!” Naruto smiled. He was of a sudden glad to have let him in. “Fine!” he shouted. “Anomie?”

“_Hm_! What’s that?”

“Uh, social unrest because of there being no common values in a community. Individual purposelessness.”

“And it’s a social term, not a philosophical one?”

“It’s not philosophical.”

“_Huh_.” They looked at each other, long and hard.

There was a somber, fraternal feeling settling in the atmosphere and they could both appreciate it.

“Isn’t that—interesting,” Sasuke said.

“Totally. You—_uh_—want some more coffee?”

They passed the day like this, talking about things that Sasuke had not considered before, and that Naruto had not had chance to discuss. Their difference in life experience came through.

Naruto learnt that Sasuke spent much of his time sneakily reading novels his dad forbade him from owning. He was a classical youth with a thirst for adventure, pressured by his father to do well by him. Without any internet access (a ‘proper princess in a tower’ as Naruto had jokingly established) Sasuke had found refuge in the books he stripped and hid in the frames of his old course-literature. His favorite had been The Count of Monte Cristo.

“What’s it about?” Naruto asked him.

“_Revenge_!” Sasuke answered with a rather crazed smile. It made Naruto laugh, not thinking he could be serious. “It’s about a guy who’s about to be promoted to captain of his own ship, because he’s so cool and a strong swimmer. But his so-called friend wants to be captain instead of him, and another so-called friend wants his fiancée, so they, along with a third guy I can’t remember, all conspire to report him as a traitor of the crown! They manage it, of course, and he’s thrown in a dungeon, but this guy _will come for them_! So, from inside he’s grinding his teeth and biding his time. Eventually, he gets his vengeance and it—is—sweet!”

“You have a problem with revenge, I think,” purred Naruto. This kid had a mean streak.

“_Hn_! And who doesn’t? Only difference is: we don’t all have need for making sure somebody pays.” Sasuke’s fingers twitched; the way he was flexing them made him almost shake. Naruto looked at them, then at Sasuke’s face. He smiled at him slowly.

“Ya know, kid, you make a good case,” he then said.

“Shut up.”

“_Hehe_!”

“I think I understand you a little bit better now.” Sasuke suddenly announced. His eyes beamed as he spoke, his expression intrusive, yet Naruto wasn’t discomforted. “You would call yourself a free spirit.” He stretched his back, raising his hands over his head and yawned.

“Would I?”

“Am I wrong? You’re a high-school drop-out who cheated the curriculum, and was well on your way to becoming successful at that. You had your martial arts job, which enabled a living wage you enjoyed making. But then you had an accident, and now you’re back in school, crippled and angry—defeated, in a word. But why become a skeptic? That’s what I don’t understand. Are you that much of a child yourself that you can’t accept defeat without faulting the game?”

“What _is it with people_ calling me childish! there was never any other way for me to turn out! An introverted liberal shot down in the zenith of his triumph is flung into existentialism whether he likes it or not, where he, sadly, won’t find anything nice—”

“A _liberal_?” Sasuke smiled mockingly.

“—and so I could for sure be called nihilistic; it’s nothing new. Like I said: I can’t wait to not care about it.”

“And what about me?” Sasuke wondered. “What am _I_ doomed to become?”

“'_Doomed'_! I don’t like that word. Right. Hear me out. Just give it a shot, okay?”

“What?”

“I don’t know where it’s from, but there’s a story that goes like this: there’re two wolves inside-a yur mind, right? They’re fighting each other for the dominion of yur soul. One is grey, and he’s everything inside you that’s hopeless and afraid. The other’s white, and he’s everything inside you that’s hopeful and unafraid. Until one of the wolves win, yur soul won’t find peace and they won’t stop fighting until either is dead. How do you think one will defeat the other?” Naruto tapped the table with his thumb. Sasuke looked at it, then at his eyes.

“I don’t know,” he said. “How?”

“The one that wins will be whichever one you feed.”

“. . ._Oooh_!” erupted Sasuke, waving his hands around and smirking. He put the back of his hand to his forehead and briefly fainted.

“_Ooooh_! It’s _rad_, right!?”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” the kid laughed.

“Well. I was kinda hoping for ‘most awesome thing’ you’d ever heard but that’ll do, I guess.”

“_Haha_!” Sasuke looked happy. It charmed Naruto, and he couldn’t quite look away. “Okay. So, I’m not doomed. I just have wild animals fighting inside of my head.”

“Ya know, that’s—shockingly—true to life!”

“Oh, my God..!” Sasuke suddenly jumped out of his seat.

“What?”

“It’s fifteen minutes past five already! It’s fucking dark out!”

“Wow, yer right! Hey, you make great company!”

“Shit, shit, shit!” The guy took off running for his shoes before Naruto knew what had happened. Flinging himself on the floor to pull them on the quicker, Naruto could only blink stupidly at him.

“Hey,” he said. “Take it easy! I can drive you, it’s no big deal!”

“No, you don’t understand! I’m late!” Sasuke’s coat almost levitated off the hanger and wrapped itself around him.

“What? Are you the fucking white rabbit now?”

“I have to go!” The weirdo was out the door in no time flat, and didn’t even make time for closing it behind himself, much less properly saying ‘bye.’ A sense of dread came over his had-been-host.

He stepped out unto the metal landing.

“Sasuke, you don’t have to go back to him! _Sasuke_!” he shouted after the quickly diminishing form racing across the parking lot. There was nothing normal about that type of urgency. Naruto was convinced Sasuke’s dad was hurting him.

Closing his front door with a slam and locking it, he hobbled as quickly as he could to his couch where his phone lay. He picked it up and punched in a text, sending it to Sasuke.

_‘Don’t delete my number call me anytime’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a fast walker. Yesterday, I walked a stretch that was something like 45 minutes times 4--I walked fast for 3 hours because I had to.  
Also, there was a skyfall throughout, with frequent lightning and thunder. I was thinking: 'If I get hit by lightning, you know, that'd do it today'. Now, I don't own anything like a raincoat, either, and I was starving besides, so things were really ridiculous. At one point, I was hiding from the roaring downpour under an oak, soaked jacket over my head like a nun's veil, and was looking at the cathedral whose court I was in. Its' doors were shut. You know, I'll bet they were even locked--for the sake of keeping vandals out. So, that's pretty funny: 'Keep the ne'er-do-wells out, and the needy too! Amen.'


	5. Things Start Getting a Little Outa Hand--No U

Forty-five minutes later, Sasuke was climbing the trellised façade of his father’s house. He was on the second floor, passing the window of the office.

“_Hngh_!” It was heavy. He was sweating. Sasuke’s gut felt like a block of ice. His heart was thundering.

Prying his fingers in between the branches and latticework, he clung for dear life and continued pulling himself upward, praying that nobody would hear or otherwise discover him. If his father didn’t, one of the staff, a maid or a chef, still might.

Sasuke’s bedroom window was on the third floor, only a few meters away.

He had entered his home this way before. Not trying to make a habit out of it, it was an emergency resort only. But to be perfectly frank, had he had any real reason to go outside the house, then he would’ve absolutely frequented the trellis.

Out of nowhere, he'd found something to beckon him away; a clarifying light that showed Sasuke wasn’t yet ready to lay down and die. He would have to defy his father in order to pursue this newfound passion.

Naruto had a way. A certain way, that to Sasuke spoke of nothing but confidence and strength. He craved it for himself.

The novel experience of wanting something badly enough to disobey his father filled Sasuke with intense excitement; it bubbled in his chest and in his stomach, tensed his every limb and made him feel capable—made him fight not to scream out loud, or jump into the air.

His foot slipped.

Luckily, his hands were firmly attached to the lattice and he didn’t fall, but he gasped, seeing his short life flash before his eyes. He looked down. There was something like five meters to the ground, and if he fell he would land in the barbed wire of the resting rose bushes.

Sasuke set his refusal to fall and his hunger for life to the test, and he thereby mightily heaved himself upwards, reaching to pull his window open.

When he crossed the sill and set both feet down on the Persian carpet of his room, Sasuke discovered just how agitated he was. It felt like his heart was going to explode, and he therefore sank into a squat, breathing heavily for a minute.

Then, he got up, swallowing, and still so out of breath he couldn’t keep his mouth closed if he wished to be silent. Gapingly, he went about peeling off his clothing.

He took off his coat and lay it temporarily on the burgundy bedspread. He stepped out of his shoes, pushing them underneath the bed so they would be hidden, then he picked his coat back up.

Walking on his toes, Sasuke snuck over to his closet. It was the length of the entire northern wall, and was completely stocked; even so, Sasuke wore only a fraction of its contents regularly. He wasn’t much of a fashion-guy; he’d be happy in anything that was clean, appropriate for whatever climate he was in, and that didn’t look totally insane. It was his father whom cared a great deal what Sasuke looked like.

He was displeased with his son's black eye, which Sasuke himself found laughably self-involved—but he wouldn’t for his life say it, of course.

He hung his outer wear on a coat hanger and put it away, ever with one ear trained on the door behind him. Undressing entirely, he covered himself with his bathrobe and went to take the door knob into his hand, but stood looking at it.

Above the handle, there was damage done left unrepaired.

A piece of the door, the size of Sasuke’s hand, was missing. Three facts are necessary for explaining this: (1) Sasuke’s bedroom door opened outwards into the hall, in the event of a fire, (2) Sasuke had about one year ago installed a peg-lock on his door, to be able to lock himself inside, (3) his father was a brute.

He’d never forget that day.

Sasuke had just turned eighteen, which made him an adult by law of the country he was living in; therefore, he’d installed the lock on his door, and told himself that his life was about to change. He would move out somehow. He didn’t need his father’s money or his protection. But Sasuke was unfamiliar with the world, and didn’t know where to start. Before his plans had been given a fair chance to settle and grow, they had been put to death. The lock had been useless. The sound of it breaking had been the undoing of him. He’d had nothing but to put his hands on his head, and flee into a corner.

Sasuke took a deep breath and opened the door.

He made for the bathroom, intent on taking a shower. His father should be in his office, working.

He was almost there, then he was inside. He was closing himself in—when the door was pulled out of his grip.

Sasuke quickly made his expression neutral and stepped back.

“_What are you doing_?” Fugaku was poking his greying head in the bathroom, then stepped all the way inside. Sasuke retreated from him until his back was on the wall.

His name was Fugaku Uchiha. He was a conservative person, born in 1959 in Konoha, Japan. In 1969, Fugaku’s own father had brought him to America to walk alongside him and learn about the industry of automobile construction. The experience had shaped Fugaku’s work ethic along with his personality. He’d idolized his father, and feared the great cane he carried with him, as he saw his father’s subordinates do.

But Fugaku had not been very interested in the noisy factories, or even the money to be made; he was a statesman, and wanted to tell people what to do.

Since 1975 he’d gained traction with the fellow conservatives in The City, and became an influential politician, mighty in a sense, and most notably he saw much respect. He was made in 1979 chairman of the Board of Education, as well as the Board of Construction. His name meant something. Most people in The City recognized it.

Sasuke was Fugaku’s youngest son, and his life was not his own.

“_I’m just taking a shower_,” he said quietly.

“_Where have you been?_” His father never spoke English with him. He only ever spoke Japanese.

“_I’ve been here_.” And that’s how Sasuke was meant to answer him.

“_Don’t lie to me, son_.” Fugaku closed the bathroom door. He put himself right in Sasuke’s face, so that he felt compelled to press his body flush against the wall. He did not escape his father’s menace even then.

He was afraid.

“_I’m not lying! I’ve been here the whole time_!”

“_Look at me when you talk to me!_” Sasuke flinched and did as told. “_Don’t look so damned scared. What kind of man are you supposed to be_?”

“_Sorry_.”

“_Why are you lying to me? You know what we say about lies._”

“_I’m not lying. I was asleep in my room—_”

“_Now, now_.” He wasn’t being believed, and that was bad. But maybe the bruise would discourage his father from beating him this time.

“—_It’s true, I was. I really was._”

“_Were you?_” Sasuke nodded stiffly. “_Were you asleep?_”

“_Just for an hour_.”

“_And when did you get in_?”

“_M-maybe a little later than usual. Five minutes at most. The bus stalled. There was something wrong with it._”

“_The bus stalled_.”

“_Yes_. . !”

“_So, you were a little late coming home today_.”

“_Yes_.” Fugaku took a long look at Sasuke’s face.

“_I know my sons don’t lie to me_,” he then said. “_If you claim the bus stalled, you were a little late, and you’ve been napping in your room even though I didn’t hear you come in, then I believe you. Well, don’t make that face! I told you: you’re off the hook!_” Laughing, Fugaku patted Sasuke’s bruised cheek a few times.

He did it on purpose. It hurt, but Sasuke did not react.

“_Jump in the shower, then come down for dinner. I want to talk to you about something_.” When Sasuke’s father had left him alone, Sasuke’s chest set to heaving violently. He shut the door as quietly as he could.

Staring at it, he wanted to lock it so badly. He knew that if he did though, it would only bring his father right back again; then he would demand to know why Sasuke would want to lock himself in.

This in mind, he showered whilst watching the door, twisting his front towards the wall to hide his nakedness from the potential intrusion. Sasuke wondered to the point of nausea whether his father didn’t wish to speak with him about these past few days.

He thought of Naruto, and felt a surge of joy in the midst of the nightmare that was his father’s care.

He wanted back into his kitchen.

Sasuke’s father had been upset about having had to pick him up on Monday. He’d forbidden him from ever asking again, and Sasuke wouldn’t. The next day, he'd arrived home late due to that blessed bus-ride with Naruto, and Fugaku had gone absolutley insane. That's when he'd hit him. The day after that, Sasuke had arrived home in a cab--late again. Fugaku had stared down at him by the front door, white in the face, not saying anything awhile before stepping aside. And then today, Sasuke had lost track of time. He was seriously pushing things, and his father might snap at any moment--still, Sasuke couldn't stop himself.

*

Thirty minutes later, Fugaku was in his office. He was reclining in his chair, and pouring himself a glass of beer. Two different cans of it sat in front of him. He always mixed a dark brew with a pale brew.

Sasuke had been disobedient for the last time. The boy should be grateful he’d been fed, considering.

Fugaku picked up his phone, and called his cousin Tobi’s household.

*

Sasuke re-entered his bedroom.

He shut the door carefully, then walked over to his bed. Pulling off the quick outfit he’d thrown on after his shower, he dropped it on the floor and crawled under the covers. In the darkness thereunder, for a while he only breathed.

_‘You are an Uchiha. Do you understand what that means? I’ve told you enough times, so help me if you don’t.’_

_‘It means I’ve a reputation to live up to.’_

_‘More importantly, you’re my son. I want what’s best for you. If I have to shout and use my hands a little bit to get through to you when you don’t want to listen then I will, but I’m warning you, son: you keep it up and I don’t know what to do about you.’_

_‘. . .’_

_‘Do you hear me?’_

_‘Yes. I hear you, father.’_

_‘Then say so! Don’t wait for me to double-check whether your ears are still working or not!’_

_‘I’m sorry. I hear you.’_

_‘There’s something the matter with you lately; don’t think I can’t tell. . .And I don’t suppose you’re willing to tell me what’s changed?’_

_‘Nothing’s changed. I’m the same as always.’_

_‘. . .I’m calling your uncle Tobi tonight.’ _Sasuke’s head had shot up in full attention, and Fugaku had laughed. _‘Yes, son.’_

_‘Why would you do that?’ _Sasuke had gasped, his stomach turning.

_‘Well! (laughter) Why wouldn’t I?’_

_‘You never call him. . !’_

_‘I want to know how my wife and eldest child are doing! Don’t act like I never check on them! Do you hear me, son!? Never do that!’_

_‘I’m sorry. . !’_

_‘Never!’ _Fugaku had banged his fist on the dinner table so hard the candelabra tipped over. The attendants overseeing their dinner had sprung to action and put out the flame, but Sasuke saw that the wax had ruined the table cloth, and it made him fear for his safety.

_‘Forgive me, Father. . !’_

_‘Don’t be such a cry-baby! You know, Tobi has a spare room still available at his estate. You want to go live with your mother and brother?’_

_‘No, Father, I do not.’_

_‘You don’t, do you?’_

_‘No, I do not.’_

_‘Then don’t lie to me anymore. You will come home immediately after school. You will do your homework, and you will do it perfectly. You will graduate at long due last, at the top of your class, and you will stop wasting my time, waiting for my nineteen-year-old son to grow up! You’ll be an adult in eleven months. Make sure your birthday doesn’t arrive before you’ve at least a basic education.’ _Fugaku had waved his hand in dismissal, and Sasuke had known to get out. He'd stood, bowed to his father with eyes downcast, and then quickly gone upstairs to his room where he now lay.

His older brother’s name was Itachi.

Sasuke loved him dearly, and feared for his sake every day. Itachi had disappointed their father by dropping out of school and moving into a collective with his Western friends when he’d been eighteen, eight years ago. Sasuke had been eleven, and remembered vividly the days leading up to Itachi’s disappearance.

The three of them, along with their mother, had lived in the house together. Today, only Sasuke and his father remained.

Itachi had always been what Sasuke would describe as a ‘free soul.’ He’d never been afraid, not even of Fugaku. He’d protected Sasuke, like he’d protected their mom.

Their mom had protested Fugaku’s treatment of their oldest son, and was made to join him—at uncle Tobi’s estate in Japan.

When Itachi had first disappeared from the house, when he ran away, it had been a week of hysterics.

Fugaku had turned The City upside down looking for him, twice the more ashamed because his eldest son was living the life of an illegal squatter on someone else’s property (as he couldn’t put his own name on a lease unless he wanted to be found.)

Sasuke only knew Itachi had been recovered when their father was suddenly calm again. He hadn’t seen his brother since.

Sasuke wondered if by ‘Tobi’s Estate’, his father was actually talking about the afterlife—his smile would occasionally suggest it, he thought.

Fugaku would use Sasuke’s brother and mother as a means of frightening him, and dissuading any desire to disobey.

Sasuke happened to cry.

“_Ugh_. . !” He became angry with himself because of it and cursed. Crying would solve nothing. He was still trapped.

The sound of his phone vibrating in that instant brought Sasuke out of his head. He lifted the covers and peeked, then went to his closet slowly. In the pocket of his coat, he found his phone, still shining. Sasuke wiped his face and checked the messages.

_‘don’t delete my number call me anytime’_ and then,

_‘did you get home okay?’_ He huffed.

He nearly laughed, but felt too hollow and sad to manage it. It tied his stomach in knots to receive texts from Naruto. He had to cut him loose; he couldn't do with him anymore, as it put Sasuke in danger. But he typed in a reply anyway and laid down in bed again, taking the phone with him.

_‘I’m home. Don’t worry about me,’_ he wrote. The phone vibrated almost straight away.

_‘You can’t stop me from worrying. If your dad is giving you a hard time you need to know that therere places you can call for help. organizations that work with helping people in abusive relationships. XXX XXX-XXX is the number to a great crisis group. I’ve talked to them before and I can help you if you want’_

Sasuke stared.

He read the message probably fifteen times and as many minutes passed before he turned over on his back, dropping the phone.

Unbelievable, he thought. The guy was unbelievable. What was Sasuke supposed to do? Would risking it all pay off or get him killed?

The phone vibrated.

_‘do you want me to call them for you?’_

_‘No. Don’t call anyone and mention my name. I don’t want that.’ _Sasuke typed furiously. Five minutes passed, and he felt like he was on a bed of nails. Then a text came which nearly resurged the tears in his eyes.

_‘Do you want me to come get you?’_

Yes! God, yes! He wanted it! If Naruto showed up in his shitty Chevrolet Cruze and took him away, then Sasuke didn’t know if he could honestly stand it without falling apart. It would be like a rescue. Naruto was strong: maybe, if he didn't leave Sasuke's side, he could keep him safe from Fugaku. His thoughts spun in this manner.

_‘No.’_ Hitting send took his remaining strength from him, and Sasuke closed his eyes. He didn’t want to risk his life anymore tonight, not now. And even if he couldn’t spend leisure time with Naruto like he had today, there was always school. He could see him then: that was allowed, and it would have to do.

_‘but are you safe?’_

_‘I can take care of myself. See you tomorrow, okay?’_

_‘k. Sleep tight’_

There was no way he could bring himself to type a reply. Sasuke actually did manage to sleep that night—at Naruto’s behest.

*

Sakura checked her phone. It was night time, and four days since she’d broken up with Naruto.

She had twelve missed calls from him today. Sakura sighed heavily.

She was standing by the windows, trying to enjoy the view. It was undeniably beautiful—The City was full of lights, all different colors, scattered in the spray of rain coming down. But for all its beauty, Sakura could only see the water itself, washing the streets rid of dirt before falling into the underground where the rats lived.

She put her hand over her womb.

“You okay?” Her lover came and kissed her shoulder. He embraced her tenderly. Sakura rested her head back.

“No,” she answered him, smiling sadly.

“What about this guy?” His hand joined hers, caressing Sakura’s stomach. She looked down at their braided fingers.

“Okay.” She’d given Naruto back the car. Turns out, she didn’t have the heart not to let him have it—he didn’t have much else, after all. But hoping that he would interpret this olive branch as a signal to stop trying to contact her, had been totally naïve. He’d never been the type of person who just let things die.

It had made leaving him unnecessarily difficult.

She had loved him so much, for a long time. Now that he was finally out of her life, Sakura had to remind herself not to think of things from that long ago.

Turning away from the window and the rain, she wrapped her arms around her lover, closing her eyes. He held her, kissing the top of her head.

“It’ll be okay,” he said. “Naruto just needs to cool off a while.”

“He’s going to kill you when he finds out.”

“_Nah_. I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s not actually outa his mind, ya know.

“I’m serious.” Sakura looked up at her lover, pleading with him. “You don’t know him like I do. Be careful.” Kiba just smiled and shook his head. He 100% didn’t believe Naruto could ever do anything to hurt his best friend.

*

A month passed since Sasuke had exploded out of Naruto's apartment.

Naruto didn’t fully understand, but he could guess the reason why the kid had suddenly become distant; his dad probably didn’t like him hanging out with someone like Naruto, and he was trying to comply to save his skin.

It was no big deal, Naruto told himself, but he hated being rejected by anyone these days. That--and he was worried about Sasuke all the time.

They liked to sit next to each other during class. It was a thing that Sasuke had been first insisting on, and Naruto had come to secretly look forward to.

He didn’t know how it had happened exactly that he now wanted him around, but after that day in his kitchen there had been no way to deny it.

Sasuke had slowly started opening up. He was expressing principles and jokes alike. His sense of humor was mainly revolting in nature; meaning that he’d refuse things for fun, or imagine people who seemed put-together embarrassing themselves.

Principle-wise, the guy was a hard-assed sweetheart. He shared Naruto’s views on responsibility. He agreed that hard work only paid off in an ideal world. He was first to mention that the sanctity of the individual was the supreme and singular holiness on Earth, something that should be worshipped—if worship weren’t to be outlawed.

They were two peas in a pod, with the difference of years between them. Sasuke was in his budding stage, while Naruto stood in full bloom.

It was only a question of time before the two of them got up to no good together.

*

“No, like this.” Naruto and Sasuke stood outside of the school. It was their lunch break, and they were in the part of the parking lot where not very many people could see them, by the bikes.

It was unusually cold for fall, and the ground lay covered with sporadic snows. Today, the ground was white.

Naruto had his hands on Sasuke’s forearms, and his stomach was touching his back. He could feel the guy shivering.

“You wantchur left foot in front, and your right foot behind. Then you check the distance by twisting your right foot and seeing if yur toes are touching yur heel—twist it on the heel. Yeah, like that. Then you twist it back out so yur toes are pointing at a forty-five degree angle. Good—now bend the knees. They should always be a little bit bent; don’t hyperextend the joint. Alright? It’s just a little bit more in a stance. Perfect. Now, if you’ll let me—_heh_!—sorry—right hand next to yur cheek. Just like that. And we make fists!” Naruto was holding Sasuke’s hands, curling his fingers for him, and smiling close to his face. Sasuke wouldn’t look at him, but blushed hotly.

“Sorry, it’s a lot,” he chuckled. His bruise was healed and he looked like himself again.

“I know it is; yer a natural! Left hand in front of yur face, but not too close cuz then I could just punch you witchur own guard, couldn’t I? But don’t keep it too far away or it won’t be any help. Just—right here. And turn the back of yur fist forward. Great. Shoulders up. Chin down. Peer over the fist. Now, flex your back; think ‘powerful.’ There. How does that feel?”

“Overwhelming. I feel like I can’t move.”

“Well, yur body’s not used to being in a good stance. I’m telling you: if you practice for a few hours every week, you’ll find it becoming as natural as standing normally. That’s just a walking stance—just wait for the low stance, man. You’ll shit yourself.”

“How’s that going to help me? Is the idea that I should scare people off with the stench?” Naruto wasn’t moving away from him, even though supposedly he’d finished his instruction. Sasuke wasn’t mentioning it, however.

“_Ha_! Ya know, maybe. But the low stance becomes the fighting stance. It’s good because you won’t fall down easy.”

“I’ve never had to worry about falling down.”

“You haven’t?” He moved around to Sasuke’s front then.

“No,” he said. Sasuke was looking at Naruto’s hands.

“Alright—well—good for you.” After he’d said this, he moved very quickly. Before Sasuke could know what to make of things, he’d already been knocked over.

He gasped loudly, and clung to Naruto’s back while being laughed at.

“Jesus Christ!” Sasuke spat, digging his fingers into his friend’s jacket.

“There! Now you’ve fallen down!”

“Because you tripped me!”

“I got chu! I got chu! I’m not gonna letcha hit the ground.” Grinning meanwhile, Naruto pulled Sasuke to his feet. He’d tripped him by putting his left knee behind Sasuke’s right one, squatting down and shoving him in the chest.

Sasuke wouldn’t have fallen if Naruto hadn’t been very strong—something he suspected Sasuke was aware of. He watched the kid intently.

“Was I too rough?” he asked. “I’m sorry. To tell you the truth, I’m kind of a clutz.”

“Martial artists can be clumsy too, huh? So you _are_ human.” Sasuke was straightening his coat, then fixing his hair. Naruto smiled at his fussing. He admired him. 'Pretty,' he thought.

“Big time. It’s different with fighting-stuff. Then, I know what I’m doing as far as dexterity goes, but I can forget to be careful sometimes. I knock shit over just constantly.”

“Kind of like just now, you mean?” Naruto blushed at this. He rubbed the back of his head, taking a step back and denying things.

“Ah—no, no! I don’t do that a lot. Just wanted to show you why a lower position might be good, ya know. If you’da been lower, I woulda had to wrench you to the ground to get chu down.”

Sasuke’s face clouded over as he heard this; he got a sort of hazy film to his eyes. It made Naruto swallow nervously, seeing it. Then the guy was hiding the lower half of his face behind his collar, but Naruto could tell that he was smiling.

“I’ll thank you not to do that,” Sasuke said.

“I might just when yer not looking,” whispered Naruto. He hadn’t even decided to! The words had just slipped out on their own! In the aftershocks, he could do nothing but stand there, unblinking--a fucking idiot.

Sasuke looked right at him.

“You wouldn’t dare it,” he claimed. His voice was odd; it was quiet and pleasant. Naruto had to see what kind of face he was making.

Pink.

Naruto took a step forward.

“I would,” he continued whispering. “When you least expect it.” Sasuke stood still for a second, watching him come closer. They were before long real close together, facing each other and breathing through their mouths. Naruto had to look down: the kid was shorter than him.

“_Stop_!” Erupting in laughter, Sasuke gave him a shove and jogged away. He jumped over a bike stand, and entered upon the lawn wrapping around the college building. Naruto followed him with even focus, and saw it immediately when Sasuke looked over his shoulder.

“Are you stalking me now, Grandpa?”

“Who’re you calling ‘stalker’, stalker? I’m just looking to see whatchur up to.”

“You’re not thinking of wrenching me to the ground then?” They rounded the corner, and were behind the school. No one was around. There were no windows in the building near this particular section.

Sasuke’s smile was unrestrained and excited. Naruto stopped in front of him.

“I’m starting to think: maybe you _want_ me to do that, ya know,” he teased.

“Unless it’ll break your back to try it.” A spark leapt joyously in Naruto’s nervous system for these words. He put one foot far behind himself, and smilingly said:

“Man, you don’t know whatchur asking for. . !” Then he lunged forward.

With a shrill cry, Sasuke stood himself up on one leg as if that would protect him at all against the locomotive that was Naruto’s tackle. He was caught around the waist, and absolutely took flight.

“_Oof_!” They landed two meters behind where Sasuke had been standing, and slid some ways on the ground, snow finding its way inside their clothes. The both of them were laughing loudly, and Naruto was being fought with much strength but not enough. He chuckled and let Sasuke try it.

When the guy threw a punch, his hand was caught around the wrist. He was quickly overwhelmed, his other wrist equally trapped. Sasuke scoffed upwards.

Naruto shook his head, pressing his captive's hands to the ground.

The guy’s expression was shining from behind his feigned irritation.

“_Gotcha_. . !” Naruto whispered. He was pretending too—pretending he didn’t know that he was laying snugly between Sasuke’s thighs. He held his breath.

“As if. . !” Sasuke murmured. “Now what’re you planning to do to me?” The guy was smirking at him, and Naruto felt his sanity twitching at the back of his head. His smile shook.

“You _could_ try and buck me, ya know,” he pointed out.

“And why would I want to do that?” Naruto's stomach fluttered.

“You—” Sasuke snorted at him.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “You look like you’re about to faint.”

“_Um_. . .”

“No one can see us. . !” With these words, Naruto felt himself lose hold of the kid's wrists—or maybe, he let him go; he wasn’t sure. Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto’s neck, pulling him down. He didn’t resist. Most of his brain power went to not betraying his true emotions.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was absolutely shameless. He squeezed Naruto, making him fever-hot. Without permission to, Naruto felt his dick responding, and jerked.

It was hard, it was so hard to take hold of his best sense again and realize he _shouldn’t be doing this!_ Naruto's feeble complaints were barely out of his mouth before Sasuke did something that led to him jumping up and a good distance away.

The kid had kissed him.

“_Wow_!” Like a bomb had gone off nearby, Naruto was feeling and certainly looking haggard. He pointed at Sasuke.

He’d kissed his cheek, and put his leg over Naruto’s calf.

The kid sat up quickly, arranging his legs underneath himself and closing his hands on his lap. He had a constrained look on his face.

“Sasuke,” Naruto gasped. “You—we can’t do that!”

“Nobody’s looking. . !”

“It’s not about whether someone’s looking or not! It's not the kinda relationship you and I have!”

“In that case, what kind of relationship _do_ we have?”

“Well!” He huffed and deflated. “We’re _friends_, alright!? Friends don’t—they don’t do _that_!”

“Thought you wanted it.”

“Christ! I didn’t! I mean: I don’t! Yer too young! And I just got outova long term relationship!”

“Yeah? Sounds to me like you’re just making up reasons--for not wanting to take this thing to the next level. . !”

“Yeah!? Well, okay--wait—a reason not to do something is still better than a reason to just do it anyway, ya know. . !”

“Better to ask forgiveness than permission.” Naruto’s hands flew to his hair and he turned around, walking in place a while. The kid wanted to get it on now? Out of where? Where had that come from? All those looks, Naruto thought, all the gestures. . . He guessed that it wasn't actually so outlandish to think Sasuke had the hots for him. Still--

“You can’t be _serious_. . !” he hissed.

“Naruto, sometimes the overly prudent suffer greater danger than the bold, remember? That’s Victor Hugo—you agreed with him! Fortune favors the bold! There’s something to be gained right here and now!”

“Where—are all these aphorisms coming from all of a sudden!? Yer just like (sound of puking.)”

“Don’t you get it?”

“Listen, I like you too. Okay? I’ll even admit: I like you a lot. But I’m not about to fucking—deflower the cursed princess of the land, alright?—” Naruto gestured widely with his hand, sweeping it at Sasuke.

“’_Deflower’_ me? So I’m a plant!?”

“—I’m here if you need to talk or for anything practical, but emotional availability? _Uuh--_that, I can’t do!“

“What, so you just don’t care about me? Is that it?”

“No, numbskull! Like I just said, I like you but also we will—never—hook up! It would be totally weird for me: yer like a—baby brother.” Okay. Not true. We're lying now?

“. . .I’m like a baby brother to you?” Sasuke’s voice was cold. Naruto twitched at the change in atmosphere but nodded his head.

“_Yyyup_,” he said, cursing the hole he was digging for himself.

“A brother—one you want to but won’t fuck?” Naruto couldn’t get a word out. “Are you actually out of your mind. . ?”

“What? So, just because I don’t wanna sleep witchu, you—that's a problem?”

“No, but I don’t want to be around someone too cowardly not to be honest with themselves! At least admit it!”

“Admit what!?” Sasuke shot to his feet and stormed by Naruto, shoving him hard with his shoulder and spitting out:

“You think I can't spot a lie when I hear it!? You're _fucked up, _Naruto! Grow up!” Naruto didn’t even try to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did so good this week, ya'll got no idea! No work to bring home! Zip!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. I did. I like these kind of stories. Sort of a--poppy pocket-book with bite.


	6. Unsupervised fun, eh? All about it

For a week, it didn’t matter what Naruto did, Sasuke was still mad and wouldn’t sit next to him anymore.

It bothered him. It bothered the ever living shit out of him.

He started missing Sasuke.

How the childish little jerk was actually angry about not getting to take a trip down Naruto’s pants, was the lamest insult he’d ever gotten hung up on. It was lame, because as an insult it sucked; from how much he wasn’t insulted, he was totally hung up.

He tried not to feel flattered, but man, he was.

*

At home, Sasuke was alone in his room. It was the afternoon. The rain pattered on the bay window pane, while he sat at his desk opposite the bed. He was holding up a mirror.

Sasuke tilted his head to the sides, looked himself in the eyes, studied the mouth. He pulled on his collar and peeked inside.

Looking down at himself and then up again, meeting his own gaze, he couldn’t tell what was wrong.

Naruto. Naruto. Naruto.

All he wanted was to prove how grateful he was—and to wrap the guy tighter about himself, so that he couldn’t run away without taking Sasuke with him. He was in love, and couldn’t deal with the thought of a ‘no’. On the bright side: Naruto had been absolutely twitching today at school, and Sasuke guessed that it wouldn’t be long now before he caved.

His reflection smiled at him.

*

Around the same time, Naruto was in the parking lot in front of his home, cleaning out his car. The rain had let up and only a light drizzle was spraying in the air. He’d been waiting for it and was in a hurry. Currently, he was laying on his stomach across the front seats with vacuum nozzle in hand.

The machine was howling, sitting on a cardboard box. The pavement of the lot was uneven and full of puddles. The water was soaking into the cardboard.

Kiba was also there, watching from Naruto’s dead angle.

“Still nothing?” Kiba asked. He had a bag of groceries with him that he’d bought as a gift.

“Nope,” Naruto groaned with effort, twisting. There were bobby pins everywhere. He hated the sight of them. “I wish she’d just talk to me. Like—fine, she doesn’t love me anymore cuz I was an ass, but—_ugh_!—I never did anything horrible enough to deserve this kinda treatment, right? (sigh) It’s like she’s gone awol!” How had Sakura managed to get a Starschmuck’s coffee mug lodged in the seat rail? “Could you?” He waved his hand at Kiba. His friend pressed the vacuum power button, and Naruto squeezed himself into the slot in front of the seats.

“Give her time, I guess. How’s that kid treating you lately?” Naruto paused a moment. Then he said:

“Sasuke?” like he didn’t care. “He’s fine. Still fighting his old man on the daily, though.”

“You haven’t saved him yet?”

“Whaddaya want me to do?”

“Don’t think I don’t know, man. Showing me pictures of him and shit, jeez. Like—yeah, I get it. The dude’s—attractive, I _guess_, but you won’t find me encouraging you tryina get withim, know what I’m sayin'?”

“_Get_ with him? The fuck?”

“Yeah! You—are—hor—ny!”

“Not that fucking horny. . ! Hell’s wrong witchu!?” Naruto was defensive, and he glared at his buddy. Kiba was hitting it right on the dot, of course.

He wanted Sasuke. That had only gotten harder to deny as he continued hanging out with him. Admit it, though? No.

“Yer sick, ya know that?” Naruto growled, pulling with all his might at the stuck mug. “_Ugh_!” When it came unstuck, something was catapulted along with it and hit him in the face. “_Ow_. . !”

“Yeah, whatever, Play dough. If you ever manage fiddling it inim, I’m calling the goddamn social workers.”

“Oh, go suck a chode, bro. . !” He picked up the flung object, and climbed back unto the seats where he inspected it.

Naruto had waited more than a month after that Sakura had returned his car to him before cleaning out her crap. He'd been holding on to their relationship, in a way, by not touching it. However, as his own garbage in the parking lot had started vanishing by forces unknown, he grew more and more distant to the things he'd lost, becoming able to let them go, a little bit at a time.

Which brings us to this current discovery, laying flat in his hand.

It was a keychain, a little key chip tag dangled from it. Naruto was laying on his back at Kiba’s feat. He rubbed his forehead where the tag had hit him.

“Do you know whose this is?” he asked.

Kiba paled.

Naruto turned the tag over in his hand, thinking he recognized the orange color and the logo of a shark toting a gym bag. Oh. It was the key to where Kiba worked!

“It’s yurs, ain’t it? Betchu been looking, ya klutz! I’m the best!” He threw Kiba his key, and didn’t think anything of it.

“_Uh_, thanks. . !” his buddy mumbled. “Hey, listen. D’you want me to put the groceries inside? I’ve got some meats and stuff. . .”

“Yeah, thanks, man, that’d be supercool of you! Here!” Kiba winced and patted Naruto’s flying keys out of the air. They fell to the ground with a rattle. Naruto laughed at him.

“Stop throwing things!”

“_Haha_!”

“Damn it!”

*

The next day was Friday. Sasuke was in class—sitting across from Naruto, because he knew the guy hated that.

He’d learnt from the best how to be passive aggressive, and he took great pleasure in it.

Naruto was unable to focus on his work; instead he kept looking up, and his leg was bouncing constantly.

“_Shi_-_t_. . !” Sasuke heard a pen drop, and didn’t have to confirm it for himself that it had been Naruto’s. The guy was diving under the table by this point. Sasuke crossed his legs, then their eyes met.

Naruto set off a scowl.

“Come on,” he muttered, climbing back into his own chair with pen retrieved.

“Can’t fool me,” Sasuke answered, once more engaged with his work. The whole class were alerted and looked at him, baffled at the exchange.

“Take it after class, boys,” Kakashi yawned, clearly wise to all.

Naruto was going to do something: he hated the silent treatment enough to not stand it for very long—and Sasuke knew this. He felt giddy, trying to guess what the guy would finally say to him.

*

Naruto was first out the classroom, and very clearly fuming. Sasuke smirked at his back. He put his stuff in his bag and hung this on his shoulder, before letting everyone walk out ahead of him.

In the hall, he learnt just how eager Naruto was to be through with the silent treatment. He was standing smack in the doorway down the hall, and blocking the only way to the bottom floor.

“Move?” Sasuke heard some rando tell him. Naruto glared.

“Just walk passed, idjit! Like you don’t fit. . !” Indeed the rando (along with everyone else) made their peace with shimmying around him—and man, were they ticked about it.

Sasuke snorted. He, for one, loved it. When he stepped forward, Naruto put his hands against the door posts.

“Come home with me tonight,” he then demanded. It was all Sasuke could do not to let his jaw drop. Zero to a hundred, was it?

“Move out of the way,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Not until you say ‘yes!’”

“If you’ve something to add to that, then you should hurry up and spit it out! I’m not going home with you.” Naruto hesitated at this.

“But, look, I—I miss—yur company,” he said.

“So?”

“_So_!? So—_come home with me_. . ! _Please_. . !” Naruto was putting all his powers of insinuation to use it seemed, and was blinking intensely. Sasuke could scream, clap his hands, thank God—but did nothing.

“And do what?” he inquired instead.

“_I—don’t—know_. . !” Naruto looked half mad. He was red, and his teeth were showing though he wasn’t smiling. Sasuke wanted to tease him more, and he wanted to say ‘yes’ but—

“I can’t,” was all he could say.

“What? Why can’t you all of a sudden?” Now Naruto’s arms dropped.

“I don’t want to talk about it in the hall. . ! Now, move!” Shoving his way passed, Sasuke heard him chasing after down the stairs.

“Then where? Where and when will you talk to me?”

“For fuck’s sake!” Sasuke turned and grabbed a hold of Naruto’s hoodie and jacket. For one confusing moment, he just stood there as they stared at each other. Then Sasuke groaned and started pulling the dolt outside of and around the building. Naruto obediently followed.

Once out of sight, in the spot where Naruto had shown him how to do a walking stance, Sasuke pushed him against the brick wall.

“You’re like a fucking fly, buzzing in my ear!” he told him.

“I’m sorry I just want things to be okay between us again!”

“We’re _fine_, Naruto! Will you quit bugging me now?” He didn’t want him to quit it. But he couldn’t just go with him either! Sasuke didn’t have free time. He had to come home right after school or so help him, God.

“. . .Come home with me,” Naruto said again. Sasuke looked up at him, wringing his clothing in his hands. “I don’t wantchu to be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you, I—”

“Then what was the fight about?”

“Will you let me talk. . !? I’m not trying to—and I’d never do it either—like, take advantage of you or anything like that.” Naruto suppressed a smile at this. “But it bothers me when you lie. Alright? Don’t play mind games with me: it’s the worst. . !”

“Alright.”

“Alright?” Naruto inclined his head and said:

“It’s fair enough. So, you want me to say ‘I wantchu’? Fine. I do. I want you.” Sasuke felt his heart skip a beat.

“Then?”

“Then, it’s up to you whatchu wanna do. That’s why I’m asking you to come home with me, ya know. _But_!” Sasuke, who had just been about to say something very excited, was cut short. He was then surprised at Naruto’s making him let go of his jacket. The guy was crossing his arms and turning his head away, explaining: “I’m notchur boyfriend. I never will be. The last thing I want is to get tangled up with someone new.” Then he waited, looking back at Sasuke again.

Son of a bitch.

“Don’t make that face,” Naruto laughed. “I consider you a good friend, so I don’t wanna hurt chu. I’m only having to say this cuz you brought it up, by wanting to sleep with me an' all.” Sasuke inhaled sharply through his nose. His pride was hurt, and he was not letting Naruto take the upper hand!

“I’m not in love with you!” he spat. The guy raised his eyebrows.

“No?” he asked.

“_No_! I consider you a friend too—I also happen to consider the way your ass looks in those jeans. . !” Now Naruto was laughing for real.

“You like it, huh?”

“_Yes_! Like anyone with blood in their veins would! Just because I want to—do it—doesn’t mean I have to be in love with you, does it?” He’d caught it: the way the guy’s eyes had softened, and how he’d smiled when Sasuke said ‘do it’. He was patronizing him.

“Nope. It doesn’t have to mean that.” Then, before he really had time to register things or get properly angry about how this guy insisted on babying him, Naruto had seized the back of his neck and pulled Sasuke’s body against his.

He mashed their mouths together, and was kissing him passionately.

Sasuke didn’t know what to do with his hands.

The tongue surprised him. There was suddenly a hand fisting his hair. It kind of hurt. Then it hurt more and it—ow!—OW!—wait, oh—ooh. . !

Sasuke’s eyes crossed. He liked the way it hurt.

When Naruto leaned back again, Sasuke was jelly on his feet, gasping and backing up. He stared bloody murder, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Sorry,” Naruto chuckled. “I just—always wanted to do that.”

“Holy god,” murmured Sasuke from under his palm.

“You still don’t wanna come home with me, then?”

“I—” Sasuke looked at the ground. His eyebrows were twitching. His lips were tingly. “I _can’t_. . ! I told you!”

“Cuza yur dad, right?”

“. . . Yeah.”

“Well—what about tonight, then?”

“Tonight?”

“I’ll come pick you up—after he’s asleep. Then I’ll take you back before he gets up. Would that work?” Sasuke drew a blank. It could work; he could sneak out. . ! “We could just sit and talk if you want? Or—we could get smashed and go dancing, or go for a drive—I mean, not if we’re drinking, but—or just stay in—do whatever you wanna do! Ya know, _whatever_ you wanna do. . ! _Heh_!”

“You want to go _dancing_?” That’s ridiculous.

“Yes!” the guy laughed. “Let’s go!”

“Is your foot able to handle that?”

“My foot’s fine! Let’s tear up the floor, man!” Sasuke couldn’t help a short chuckle escaping him. “Just say the word.”

“I can’t go drinking. I’m too young, remember?”

“Ah—bah—that’s—who cares?” Naruto was almost whispering this, at odds with not caring, obviously.

“You don’t care now?”

“Dude, I—don’t.”

“Is this anarchy I hear?” Sasuke fired off his full ability for seduction in that moment, feeding Naruto a look that made his face go slack.

“We could be anarchists, ya know,” he said. “We really could.”

“Could we. . ?”

“And why not? Cuza yur dad? Fuck him! Just never go back, ya know!”

“I can’t just not ever go back home again!”

“Sure you can! Just run away!”

“No, I can’t! It’s not that easy, alright? _He’d find me_.” He whispered this last part.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. . !”

“What?”

“I said: it was nothing! And I have to go now or I’ll miss my bus!”

“Sasuke! You—” He turned around one last time to look at Naruto.

“What?”

“—You can’t throw yur life away! Not for anyone.”

“That’s what I’m working to fix, _sensei_, alright?” Sasuke turned on his heel and started jogging towards the bus stop, but could hear Naruto’s undeterred insistence calling after him:

“_Tonight_!”

“What!?” Sasuke yelled over his shoulder.

“_At midnight! I’ll pick you up! I’ll take you back before morning so just come meet me!_”

“You’re out of your mind!”

“_Midnight, Sasuke_!” Some set of lungs the guy had. His voice carried all the way to the road, and Sasuke was stepping unto the bus laughing because of it. “_The time of yur life!!_”

*

He was an idiot.

He was an idiot, and he was screwed. Sasuke had waited until five minutes to midnight, feeling like he might throw up, and then he’d started his descent along the trellis.

He’d die if he fell, so why was he doing this? _To live_! a voice inside him was screaming. It filled him the moment it had first sounded, like a fire igniting, and he felt sure the very instant.

He must go! If he wants to live, he must go!

But why with Naruto? Here’s why:

When Naruto had hit on Sasuke in the store the first time they met, he was happy because no man had ever made it clear he desired Sasuke before. Being gay, this struck a chord in him. When he’d seen Naruto in school just a few days later, he’d been focused on him, hoping he’d hit on him again.

Then, Sasuke had seen Naruto get dumped by his girlfriend, and it made him reconsider how he felt about the guy. He decided that Naruto was a weakling like everybody else. He felt tricked, and was resentful for having been charmed by him before. That’s why he’d treated him poorly in the classroom. But when Naruto didn’t just accept Sasuke’s abuse and instead resisted him, Sasuke was shocked.

That shock turned into shame, and so Naruto had managed to make Sasuke feel like his father made him feel. Therefore Sasuke would never be able to consider Naruto weak again. He considered him as powerful as, if not more powerful than, his father. At this early stage in his relationship to Naruto, Sasuke was already obsessed with him.

That obsession had made him fall in love for the first time, and he would do anything to please Naruto—anything at all.

He had a spring in his step as he raced down the grassy hill his house sat on.

*

Naruto started the car, almost not believing what he was seeing. He was coming. He was really coming! A great, big smile erupted on his face, and he opened the passenger door wide with an enthused shove.

Sasuke was there. He’d come, and he was leaning forward, peering at Naruto through the door opening.

“Yur carriage awaits, princess!” Naruto said, sweeping his arm in a gesture he hoped would look classy. Sasuke snorted, but then cast a look behind himself. Hesitance was on him. Naruto let him take his time.

When Sasuke finally climbed inside and shut the door, he looked at Naruto, and there was an elatedness about him he’d never seen. It made Naruto’s heart feel buoyant.

“What’re we waiting for?” Sasuke whispered in a rush. “Let’s go! Let’s go!” he further exclaimed, banging his palms on the dashboard and bouncing in his seat. Naruto laughed at him and pulled off the sidewalk, taking them both away from that fucking house.

After some minutes of driving (and Sasuke looking out the window like he’d never seen the outdoors before) he asked:

“So, where are we going? Your place?” Naruto marveled at him, and forced himself to focus on his driving. Sasuke looked beautiful, like always. He thought of their fight, and figured he was the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth. The kid was crazy, that he still knew. But without meaning to, Naruto had sort of started falling for him despite that. By now, he was thinking: I can be his idol—whatever! What harm could it do?

“Just--you’ll see,” Naruto replied mysteriously. “I have a feeling yer gonna like it.”

Pretty soon they were leaving The City and entering the suburbs. Going beyond that, they were in the woods.

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, asking him:

“You feeling okay? I’m not starting to freak you out or nothing, right?” He wasn’t about to axe-murder him in the outskirts of town, but what they’d be doing did require absolute privacy.

“You’re incapable of freaking me out,” Sasuke answered him, smirking.

“Oh? Good. . !” Naruto liked hearing that. To be honest, since he’d told Sasuke he’d gladly sleep with him if the kid was into it, the initial joy at being forgiven had settled down, and was leaving him increasingly anxious about the sex itself; so, hearing he was at least ‘incapable’ of freaking Sasuke out was a small comfort.

Naruto glanced at him again, glad to find him watching him in turn.

“_Heh_! Here we are!” He was pulling into an old junkyard. There were stacked cars on all sides around them, as well as a chain link fence on the outermost boundary, which was supporting the baffling amount of crap and trash set up in piles and looking just about to topple over. Naruto parked in the first open space they’d come upon and he turned off the engine, looking at Sasuke and clapping his own thighs.

“You ready?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“Ready for what?”

“You ever fired a gun?”

“_Wow_. No?”

“Well, yer about to! C’mon!” It was all arranged beforehand. Naruto had found a handgun lying in the street—wouldn’t you know it!—with a sock-full of the-right-caliber-bullets right next to it. A set up? Not in America!

He got out of the car and jogged over to another open clearing amidst all the junk. There, he reached between two stacked cars and pulled out a nasty-looking, white shoe box that rattled as it moved.

Sasuke came skipping over, stopping next to him.

“_Wow_,” he said again. “Is that real?” Naruto took the gun out of the box—a black, mean-looking thing. It was solid, heavy, and he grinned at Sasuke over it because he was the kind of person who got excited at the thought of lethality.

The look on Sasuke’s face revealed that he was the same.

“Yer damn right it’s real! We’ve something like two hundred bullets for it too. You wanna give it a go?”

“_Um_. . .” Sasuke trembled. He'd probably never touched a gun before in his life. But when he reached out and ran his fingers over it, he looked very excited. Naruto liked sharing the experience of the weapon's coldness with him.

He smiled, power-hungry.

“Alright then, I get to go first!” announced he. “Safety is—off! Check this out and remember it, okay?” Naruto beckoned with his hand for Sasuke to come closer, whilst taking great care to aim the weapon away from them both and at the ground at an angle. Sasuke actually ended up too close. He put his hand on Naruto’s shoulder, and his chin on top of his hand, peering down at the weapon and listening intently.

Naruto almost forgot what he was going to say.

“_Um_. Right! Red means dead, alright? When the safety’s off, this part here’s exposed, showing red. When the safety’s off, it means the weapon's ready to fire. D'you understand?”

“_Uh-huh_.”

“Right. What did I just say then?” He smiled at the dreamy look on Sasuke’s face. The kid seemed to shake himself into attention.

“Red means dead. Safety’s off.”

“Good. Another thing: every gun’s loaded, okay? Always assume every gun’s loaded and ready to fire. Every time. It’ll save yur life.”

“Every gun’s loaded. Are you going to fire that thing already, or just stand there like it’s your dick in your hand?” Naruto turned his eyes forward and scoffed. He lifted the gun up, and aimed it at a rearview mirror some four meters off. Sasuke let go of him.

“What do you know about my dick anyway? Besides, it’s safety first—not that there’s anything safe about this!” Naruto laughed at himself, and the gun went off with a deafening sound. The recoil sent a shockwave through his whole body.

They both jumped into the air before squatting down in alarm.

“Holy shit!” Sasuke screeched, half-angry, half-delighted.

“_Woo-ha-ha-haoow_!”

“Fucking—my ears! They’re ringing! You couldn’t have warned me!?”

“I didn’t know it was gonna be so loud! I hadn’t tried it before! _Phew_! Smells like shit! Did I get the mirror?”

“You hit the ground.”

“_Woah_. Humble pie, man.”

“Let me have a try!”

“Alright—“ he handed over the gun slowly. “—Just be careful.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! How do you reload?”

“You don’t. It’s a semi, and there’s sixteen in the clip.” Sasuke raised the gun to shoulder height and looked down the barrel. Naruto’s eyebrows rose, and he took a step back. That’s a decent stance, he thought.

Sasuke shifted his feet, and the rearview mirror Naruto had been aiming at exploded. Losing his fucking mind, Naruto bounded into the air, cheering.

“God damn, Sasuke!” he shouted. “Who knew you could shoot like that!?” The kid lowered the gun in both hands, aimed it at the ground, then grinned hugely at Naruto.

“_That was a fucking rush. . !_” he whispered.

“Dude! Yer amazing! Go again!”

“This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. . !” Sasuke readjusted his aim for a windshield wiper six meters off.

“God bless America!” The windshield wiper was snapped in half, and once more both men erupted in celebration, embracing and skipping about.

Rain began to fall.

*

They returned to the car a few hours later, sopping wet and freezing. The car bounced from how they both threw themselves inside. Naruto checked his phone for the time, panting with all the laughing and running around he’d done.

“It’s three-thirty,” he snorted, taking off his jacket and throwing it in the back seat. “You uh—feel like going home?” The car filled with the scent of gun-powder, sweat and rain. Sasuke was looking at Naruto’s body.

“Not by a long shot,” he said. “Unless you’re tired of me?”

“What? No!” Naruto tried to inspect himself without it being obvious. He was wearing the same thing he wore every day: jeans and a long-sleeved T, rolled up to his elbows. Thing is, these articles fit him well and he knew it—usually he had a jacket, a hoodie, or both, on top as well. Now that he didn't, Sasuke could see the shape of him--something Naruto knew always got at least some people staring. He was glad Sasuke was one of them.

Also, the white T was soaked and had become see-through in the front. Naruto's heart sped up.

“I’m kidding! Relax,” Sasuke said.

“What’re you feeling up for then?” The kid started wringing his hands in his lap. He was being watched slyly.

“I was promised the time of my life.”

“_Oh_! And discovering yer the sharpest shot in the west don’t meet the criteria? By the way, you put the gun back in the box, right?”

“Sure I did. And shooting it was certainly fun, but I’ve got my aim set on something quite different.” Naruto here stuttered a little bit and fidgeted in his seat.

See, he was concerned with this: what if Sasuke actually was in love with him? What if he was a virgin, on top? Naruto didn’t want to mess the kid up or lead him on. He’d love to fuck, but strictly under a ‘no strings attached’ agreement. And he’d never trusted Sasuke’s face value.

“Uh—yeah?”

“Take me home—to your place.” Naruto felt his dick jump at these words. He squeezed the steering wheel, almost forgetting how cold he was. Sasuke was wiping his wet hair back over his head.

“You--uh—(clears throat)—yer sure? I mean, I know I offered, but. . .”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want—”

“Shouldn’t that be my line, though?”

“—but know that it would break my heart if you drove me home tonight without _deflowering_ me first.” Sasuke looked mightily pleased with himself at the reaction this got out of Naruto. He’d turned him crimson, and Naruto had to look out the window for a minute. “Well, what do you say?” Sasuke urged, poking him in the side.

“Jesus Christ, man!” Naruto jumped in his seat, staring at him.

“You’re not into it?”

“Never mind me! I mean, when I offered I meant it—”

“Yeah?”

“—but, I just don’t wantchu to get yur hopes up, ya know? Like, if yer down to fuck still I couldn’t be happier about it, but like—”

“What?”

”I’m not in love with you—or anything—you _do_ realize that, right?” Sasuke’s eyes wouldn’t stay on Naruto’s face; they were constantly flickering back up again. God damn it. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” he said absently. “I mean: yeah! I told you already too what it’s like.”

“It’s just—I just mean—I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I get? Maybe I’m being an egomaniac.” Naruto laughed and felt embarrassed. He should really be careful about accusing this guy of being in love with him again and again: it made him seem arrogant.

Shit, he was freezing his nuts off! Naruto shivered hard then. He started the car to get some heat.

“In bed,” Sasuke then began seductively. “I would do anything you wanted, you know.”

“_Heh_!” The kid was bringing it. Naruto was nearly immune, but not to the prospect of touching someone as pretty and cool as Sasuke. “You shouldn’t say that so easily,” he told him. “Yer way too flirty; it’s not good for you.”

“I’m just being honest. I’m grateful to you, so give me a chance to show it. . !”

“But you don’t just wanna do this cuz yer _grateful_, right?”

Grateful? Right. Hero worship. Yikes. Naruto couldn’t just rescue Sasuke from his dad—he realized that, didn’t he? But since the kid was nuts, just what parts were left of him to be commonly sensed?—_ehe_.

“Naruto. I want to—do it with you—because you’re hot. I wouldn’t be comfortable with telling you that if we weren’t friends. It’s just physical. _Trust me_.” Naruto gaped at the roof of his car, wringing the steering wheel in his hands. The kid was relentless.

Honestly, he wanted to throw the car into reverse and race them home backwards just to save time not turning around, but—

Fuck! Was he cold!

The car seat whined. Sasuke was leaning towards him. Naruto could feel the approaching heat from how close he came, and almost reacted instinctively.

“_Are you waiting for me to beg you_?” Sasuke whispered in his ear.

“_Jesus_. . !”

“I can make you feel good. . !” His lips were on his ear. Soft. “You could close your eyes if you want. . !”

“My—why?”

“If it helps. You could pretend I’m someone else. That girl from the coffee shop for instance—your ex.” Naruto surfaced briefly from his stupor because of this suggestion. It annoyed him.

“I’m not gonna pretend yer _her_. . !” he said. Sasuke put his hand on Naruto’s shoulder, then he squeezed.

“. . .I’ll let you do all the things she never did. . !”

“That’s—. . .” Naruto looked at that hand, point-blank. ”Sasuke, that’s too far. If we sleep together, I’m not gonna pretend it’s with someone else, okay? But does it have to be tonight?” Don’t you wanna think about it some more?

Sasuke’s lashes fluttered, he looked aside and Naruto wondered if he’d managed to upset him. But then he said:

“If it doesn’t happen tonight, I feel like I’ll never have another chance. I want to feel—my freedom—until I have to go back.” Freedom. That’s what it was about.

“. . .But you don’t have to go back,” Naruto reminded him.

“I do, though.”

“And you _really_ don’t have to try and barter with me to get me to—”

“Then take me home with you. Please?” Naruto looked at Sasuke for a long minute, biting his lip and thinking hard.

Should he take Sasuke to his place, and sleep with him because he’s asking for it out of fear of never getting another chance to experience it? It didn’t seem right.

“Are you a virgin?” he asked. Sasuke looked taken aback.

“No,” he answered.

“Yer sure?”

“_Haha_! Yes, I’m sure!” Naruto hesitated anyway. Then he admitted that:

“I wanna say ‘yes’,” and he sighed deeply.

“Then do it! Let’s just go!”

“You’ve been with guys before then, right? Cuz I haven’t.”

“Now I see why you’re nervous.”

“That’s not why. . !”

“I’ll be gentle. . !” Sasuke smiled slowly and widely.

“Shut up. So—okay. . ! You wanna go to my place then?” He asked this, with hand ready on the gear stick, looking at his passenger and trying his damnedest to appear like he had his shit together. Sasuke relaxed into his seat with a smug expression.

“Very much,” he answered.

“_Psh_! Suit yurself, ya know.”

“Looking forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo another chapter! Hope you enjoyed ;)
> 
> I got into a fight this weekend.  
Confrontation management is a life skill, so here's a schematic for When Someone's Being a Jerk:   
Step 1, 'ask them politely to stop'.   
Step 2, 'tell them to stop'.   
Step 3, 'make them stop'.   
I fume then flip right to 3, typically. It's a problem because it makes every dispute too serious.  
Pick your battles, communicate, and stick up for what's right. Don't get mashed because you hated the way that guy over there slurps up his soup; do get mashed because some asshole decided to treat another person like shit, and you wouldn't stand for it.


	7. Coffee Euphemisms? Mism Away, I Don't Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex. Hear ye, this chapter has sex in it.

They had arrived. In Naruto’s parking lot, he turned the engine off, unbuckled, and reached for his jacket. The thing was wet and cold still. Sasuke caught his eye mid-motion, and he smiled approvingly at the way Naruto was stretching.

From that look, he felt the fever coming. Not the infection-type, of course, but the type that changed your facial expression and your personality, whether you agreed to it or not.

He got out quickly.

Sasuke stepped out too, and the yellow light of the light posts bathed him in all the in-between-dimensions possibilities which late nights bring. They could do anything, and it wouldn’t affect their normal lives because, right now, they were alone in the world.

The kid flipped his bangs, and Naruto had to move.

“C’mon, I’m dying out here,” he said, locking the car. They snuck up the stairs, and once safely inside Naruto’s apartment, the walls felt as sound-proof and secure as those of a vault. “You _uh_—you want some coffee?”

“Please,” answered Sasuke, politely. Naruto took both his own jacket and Sasuke's coat, and hung them on the radiator in the kitchen. He and the kid were shaking. While the water boiled, Naruto hurried to get them each a towel. Sasuke wrapped himself up and sidled forward, watching silently as the coffee was stirred.

“(clears throat) Here you go.” Naruto handed the cup over, then walked to the living room.

“Thanks.” He sat, sinking into the cushions and the covers of his makeshift bed, and Sasuke sat down next to him. They were close; it felt intimate how Sasuke was sitting in his used bedding.

Naruto sipped his coffee, put it down, and ran his towel through his hair. The kid watched him, imitated him. Naruto looked at his face for a second, then snorted softly. He could just barely deal.

So, to help his nerves, he turned on the TV and put it on mute: he was a millennial and didn’t take to emptiness well, so this was a habit.

Sasuke made a hesitant little movement next to him then, and his thigh connected with Naruto's. It made his eyes snap, and the fever worsened. It was time he acted like a man, he thought, and acknowledged things. So, he asked him:

“Is the taste okay. . ?” flicking a finger at the table, where Sasuke's cup had been put next to his own. Then, he turned toward him as best he could, inviting him, twisting his body and setting his right arm on the backrest, behind the kid. He half-expected Sasuke to cut and run once he'd done this, but, to Naruto's surprise, he twisted, too, and now they were facing each other. That, the boldness of the brat, the sound of the sheets rustling and all--it made Naruto's heart race, and it only got worse because he knew Sasuke could probably see how his pulse was jackhammering in his neck. He was too excited; it was getting too much already.

Naruto almost lunged for his coffee cup, picked it up, hid behind it, drinking as lightly as a bird. He cursed himself, swallowing, reminding himself that he was a fucking adult, and couldn't act out of line by being neither nervous nor too enthusiastic--it wasn't right.

“It’s not the best,” Sasuke answered him. “What you gave me last time was better.”

“. . .(gulp) Maybe I was a bit nervous in preparing it this time. . !”

“I don’t see why you should be nervous. You look perfectly capable at making fantastic coffee.” Sasuke's cheeks were burning, Naruto saw, but he was wearing a little smirk that congratulated his own wit, and teased his companion.

“_Heh. . !_ And what if I told you it’s been a while since I made anyone coffee last?” He could feel the heat radiating off of Sasuke, and it was irresistible. Naruto’s hand slipped off the backrest. The soft texture of the towel intercepted that of his glowing skin—but Naruto could feel how hard Sasuke's back was, could see what kind of reception came on the face in front of him.

“I’d--say you’ll get the hang of it with a little warm-up.” Sasuke took Naruto's cup from him and put it back on the table. Naruto watched him carefully.

“My stamina might not be up to par,” he suggested.

“So we’ll take turns. . !”

“_Mhm_. Pouring the—what—milk?”

“Naruto.”

“What?”

“Thank you for inviting me.”

“. . .Yeah. No worries.” Thank you for coming. Sasuke was seriously beautiful, he thought.

“Hey, I—you’re the only person in this whole—fucked up town, with balls enough to think for yourself. . !” Sasuke suddenly said. He was speaking in a rush, hissing the words out.

"What?"

“You’re the only one I respect. . ! Everyone else are just these—low-hanging fruit type of losers. . ! They make me sick, always doing whatever they’re told and waiting to die. . ! You, on the other hand—aren’t like that; you’re angry and willing to fight. . ! You know about the real world, and have the scars to prove it.

I feel like—so long as we’re together—I feel—_safe_. . !” Naruto was stunned. Though his eyes glazed over with satisfaction at the heavy praise, he couldn’t help but to feel bad, so he didn't want to hear it.

“You make me sound way cooler than I actually am, ya know.”

“You _are_ cool,” Sasuke mumbled. He licked his lips and gave them this sheen--the kind that made you want to drink it.

What Naruto was, was horny. He wanted to fuck Sasuke into the springs of his couch, not make him feel _safe_! At the moment, he was decidedly unconcerned with helping the kid out with whatever--he just wanted things from him.

He leaned forward quickly and silenced him by pressing their mouths together, tasting the sheen on his tongue. It was sweet--not sugar-sweet but like a drink or a fire whose heat played him like a chord; Sasuke’s mouth was so hot, and Naruto was so cold. He licked Sasuke's lips, kissing them and leaning ever forward. He tried to get in, but the kid wasn't picking up, so Naruto put his thumb against the hinge of his jaw, pressing a little.

"Open," he whispered, then dove in when his command was obliged. The kid was suppliant, grateful, like he’d said. He allowed and tried to keep up with whatever twist of the tongue or twitch of the hand Naruto did, which made him grateful as well. Sasuke's tongue was wet, as was his breath, washing over Naruto's face like a dew.

The kid made a noise, a grunt that sounded like it could be an objection. Peeking for only a second, Naruto found him still to be lost in things. It had been an involuntary noise, and he was likely embarassed about it. His eyes were firmly shut, and his hands pawed at Naruto’s chest. So, Naruto told himself it was alright to go for it.

With both hands, he took hold of Sasuke and plunged his tongue into him without any reserve--he could just purr.

He was delicious; Naruto could suck on him for as long as he liked!

*

Sasuke felt like he could just die. Naruto’s searing kiss, the one he'd tasted outside of school, had finally resumed—and he still had no idea what to do with his arms, even as he'd been knocked backwards! The towel had fallen off of him, and to keep himself from following it, he'd had to grap Naruto's shirt, too shy to grab his neck or his shoulders like he wanted to.

His hands were on Naruto’s chest, and they were pulling his collar loose. The guy must've noticed, because he suddenly braced Sasuke's back so he didn't have to struggle anymore. It was--_awesome!_ relaxing into those strong arms.

Splaying his fingers, Sasuke could feel the ridges of muscles moving under his hands and he prayed. Naruto didn’t push him off or react at all, he just kept kissing him; so, Sasuke shivered, and let his appetite breathe. He ran his palms over the guy’s front, exploring him.

Naruto was _hard_; he was warm; broader than himself, a little bit bigger in general but not huge, only very muscular. Sasuke squeezed his waist, and prodded at the abs he found. He was getting harder himself by the second. Sasuke liked to go running so he had a strong heart, but his savior was a vise. It excited him to put his hands on the guy and discover he was pretty much all ridges and bumps: he felt _dangerous_.

“_Oh, God. . !_” Sasuke whispered, tearing free from the kiss by turning his head away.

“What? You okay?” Naruto sounded concerned.

“No,” he answered him. “I mean: yes! You’re just so—!” Gasping and grabbing the bottom of Naruto's shirt, he was quick to peel it upwards, revealing taut, naked skin underneath. The guy smiled and took his shirt off.

It slumped with both of their towels on the couch.

Sasuke almost had an aneurysm. He put his hands to the guy’s chest, stopping him when he tried to move. He wanted to just look at him for a while.

Naruto was unreal—like a model, like a made-up, Hollywood fantasy. The hair on Sasuke’s neck was standing up. Blue eyes winked at him.

“Do I pass?” Naruto whispered. Sasuke couldn’t answer him. “Ya know, if you change yur mind, you have to tell me. Okay? Don’t clam up. You gotta talk to me. . !” God bless and preserve every athlete—damn. Amen. D’amen.

“_Yeah-huh_!” Sasuke swung his right leg over Naruto’s thigh, attempting to straddle him. And though it was clumsy and could’ve gone better, he was received with enthusiasm. He wanted to be utterly devoured by this guy.

It was fine if it hurt; it would be better if it hurt.

Naruto shifted, pulling his right leg up on the couch, then dragged a happy Sasuke unto his lap. He took his legs on either side of himself, and pressed him close. The guy exhaled deeply. Sasuke could feel his dick poking him, and was amazed. But it had to be painful, he thought, constrained in his jeans like it was. He could also feel the guy's skin, bare, everywhere, everywhere, and he touched it gently in the shoulder portion. Sasuke was panting, starving when Naruto’s hands pulled on his hair. His head was tilted backwards at an angle thereby, and Naruto looked up at him, flushed like Sasuke hadn't been able to imagine. He looked--impolite.

“Okay?” he wondered. Sasuke laughed. Naruto’s expression clouded, and he pressed his mouth to Sasuke’s neck, kissing him with a slowly building energy which soon bordered on aggression.

Sasuke’s breath was coming in heavier. This was bad, he thought. His own dick was hardened to humiliation, he really thought so because no one had seen it like that before, and it leaked even though his clothes were chafing him. If he didn’t slow things down, he wouldn’t be able to keep it together.

With a groan of courage, he wrung out of his sweater, throwing it somewhere. Then the t-shirt went, and after it followed the white tank. Naruto paused to look. He caressed Sasuke’s torso from clavicle to belt buckle—and there he stopped. He grabbed it, pulled on it, looked Sasuke in the face and asked him about it mutely.

Sasuke nodded, mouth open. No time was wasted. The belt snapped unclosed, and Sasuke loved the way it tugged on his waist, making him rock. The button, the fly, his expectations, all was thrown wide and Naruto’s hand went spelunking.

“_Ah_! _Wait_!” Sasuke grabbed hold of one sturdy wrist with both hands.

“What? What?”

“I’m already. . !”

“D'you need some paper?” Naruto asked, looking down and in, hooking his finger in the elastic of Sasuke’s underwear. He felt a fierce rush of embarassment but admitted it, and Naruto without further ado reached underneath the sofa and produced a tissue dispenser, grabbing a handful and handing it on.

Sasuke was impressed by this efficiency, and found yet another reason to admire his toeheaded senior.

“There you go,” Naruto said with a wry little smile. Then he pushed Sasuke unto his back.

"Ah!" he gasped, throwing his hands out, one bunched with tissue. The guy set to work pulling Sasuke’s black trousers and underwear down his hips. The sheets felt cool and exciting against his ass.

“Yer gonna have to be the authority on this,” Naruto mumbled. “And let me know whatchur into.” With trembling effort, Sasuke was worked free one leg at a time. He could see how Naruto was shaking, and prayed for him to not change his mind. "Cuz I sure as hell wouldn't know by myself. . !"

Sasuke reached for him, working his feet farther behind Naruto, lifting his hips, pressing closer to him with breath hitching. He was so nervous, and too excited. Sasuke didn't know what to tell Naruto or how to help,_ he just wanted things from him._ Naruto looked at him, and seemed to understand.

Closing his fingers slowly around Sasuke’s erection, the hand with the tissues was made to twitch. The guy smirked, working his fingers curiously on him. Sasuke couldn't look. It demanded his every ounce of restraint not to writhe helplessly. He was holding his breath, he had to or he'd be betraying himself. But then when he had to take a breath finally--a clear-as-day moan tore out of him, and Naruto got off the couch real fast.

With charging confusion, Sasuke sat up on his elbows, looking right at him now because it had seemed like he'd put the guy off--but it became apparent that he'd done the opposite.

Naruto was unbuckling his own belt, and his attention was fixed on Sasuke’s body; his face vacant of mind, was all emotion--and at that, something like a frantic mixture of sadness and happiness. Sasuke felt incredibly accomplished at having rendered him to this state with nothing but his own nudity. Naruto's damp jeans peeled off him, and underneath were brightly-patterned boxer-briefs, sticking out with what suddenly scared Sasuke, spattering all the accomplishment he felt. The boxer-briefs too fell. Naruto picked up his knees one at a time, and came forward. Sasuke gasped himself now, but still made room between his thighs. He stared at it--at Naruto's revealed cock. It was normal to Sasuke in every way but intent, because it was pointing at him. It looked thick and dark like trouble, he thought--but because it was Naruto's, there was actually no real need to be scared of it; no matter what pain Naruto inflicted on him, Sasuke would despite it be safe. He would always be safe with him.

Naruto was naked. He was naked, laying down on top of him and was touching him, pressing him into the couch! Sasuke caught him by the mouth and kissed. He dared to touch him now, and did so eagerly, pulling on his back and likely scratching him a little with his nails. He didn't care. Their skin felt soft, but stuck together.

Naruto was heavy, was trapping Sasuke. He couldn’t breathe, and he loved it.

“_Naruto_. . !” The guy had a blonde trim going on downstairs that Sasuke thought looked sexy. As for himself, he was smooth, didn't like the way his black hair contrasted with his skin.

“Sasuke. . ! Yer so hot. . !” Naruto ran his hand across Sasuke’s chest and down his stomach, reaching his hip and squeezing. With a playful flick of the eyes and a smile, he wrapped his fingers again around Sasuke’s pulsating cock and massaged the head.

“_A--h_!” Sasuke jolted, and barked out a moan. Turning into the grip the guy had on him, he clamped his jaw shut to prevent any further humiliating noises escaping and thrust his hips upwards. It was divine.

The precum leaking from him lubricated Naruto’s hand and made it slippery enough for Sasuke to lose his mind. He rose his knees up and lifted his feet, locking his legs at the ankles behind Naruto. Kissing him desperately, their breaths mingled loudly.

Naruto had to let go of Sasuke: he was squeezing him so hard with his legs, there wasn’t any room.

“_Ah_, christ. . !” the guy whispered, leaning over Sasuke’s body and fastening his mouth to Sasuke’s right nipple which he licked at indulgently. It made Sasuke squirm, and he put his arm over his mouth. But his throat was working ceaselessly, and little intermittent squeaks slipped out. Naruto’s tongue and lips worked their way farther the way down, kissing and licking at Sasuke until his crotch was being panted on.

Sasuke lifted his head, gaping, and saw Naruto looking up at him. Holy shit, he thought.

“It’s okay,” he then managed to affirm. Sasuke realized that Naruto must be worried about not knowing what to do, having never been with a guy before; he must be needing encouragement in order to combat his insecurities. Sasuke figured that Naruto was nervous like himself, because it was a 'first' for the both of them. He didn't really see it as a serious matter, having lied to him about not being a virgin; especially not since Naruto seemed so green himself. Sasuke pitied him, and felt equal to him.

Well, he could be encouraging, he thought—he didn’t want Naruto to be shy, poor thing.

*

Naruto had always loved giving head. It was hot as hell, and so consistently appreciated that he couldn’t remember a single time he’d gone down on someone and regretted it after.

Doing it on a guy was new, though.

_‘It’s okay,’_ Sasuke had said. Well, then—can hardly wait, can you?

Naruto laughed a little bit.

It couldn’t be exaggerated how glad he was to be having sex again. He considered himself on the brink of madness with lust, and it was only with great strength of will that he managed to not be violent and/or cum on the spot.

*

Naruto was kissing the junction where leg met groin and Sasuke was shuddering, sweating in anticipation. He could hear the guy quietly laughing. Then he felt wet lips parting around the head of his dick.

“_A-Aha_! God!” Sasuke erupted on a high note, bucking involuntarily. Naruto forced him to stay still by clamping his hips down. “_S-sorry_!” Sasuke worried he might’ve choked him with his hasty movement—but it certainly didn’t seem like it.

Naruto’s mouth was scorching hot. He was sucking on him just right, and wrapping his tongue around, bobbing his head up and down. It felt silken, living, the most utterly _comfortable_ thing Sasuke had ever experienced, and it got more comfortable until a deep itch sprouted from it deep in his pelvis, one that was being stimulated and soothed for every time Naruto moved his head, worsening it and fixing it increasingly.

"_S-shit._ . !" Sasuke patted the guy's blonde head in warning. Naruto backed off and looked.

“You holding on?” he asked. His voice was raspy, and he cleared it. It did things to Sasuke’s already failing mind. He slapped a hand over his forehead and tensed up, his hips bucking. But he didn’t come yet.

Another quiet laugh was heard, and Sasuke’s voice got away from him when he felt kisses pressing at the base of his dick.

"_Ahh_. . !" Then his balls were licked. Naruto’s hands were kneading Sasuke’s hips, stroking his skin. His hair was tickling the inside of his thighs.

It was so nice—all of it.

Sasuke was almost drooling, almost cross-eyed; he couldn’t get away from the guy now even if he tried, and that knowledge was the last blow his mind could take before the hand was back, massaging him when he was already slippery enough.

“O_hhhh ffffuuuck! me!_” Sasuke’s body flexed strongly, and he clawed at the bedding beneath himself. Naruto was obviously turned on by this, because his grip was replaced with his mouth again.

He drew him in deeply. Sasuke grabbed a handful of blonde hair, and pulled so hard it must’ve hurt. Then he cried out, unrestrained, his every ambition to be quiet laughably overridden as he thrust in, and in, and in throughout the entirety of his orgasm--his voice in the air, racing out unabashed.

“_AH_! _Oh, shit. . ! You_—_aaaah! Haa_!” Naruto didn’t stop sucking until Sasuke calmed down. Then he sat up and looked Sasuke in the eye, wiped his own mouth and swallowed. Sasuke watched what he was being shown with the awe mustered by the Chosen Ones, and he saw Naruto, after-glowing, like a fucking angel—no, I mean like a fucking-angel, the sort Aquinas couldn’t have dreamed to imagine, much less dared put in his lily straw-book. Fucking-angels? Lay of a lifetime, that.

“You still with me?” Sasuke was lifted off the couch, princess-style. He snuggled himself close--happy. He was butter. Naruto smiled against his neck. “I’m taking you to my bed,” he explained. Sasuke was smoldering with pleasure, an impatient fire yet burning in his long-bored mind.

“Take me, Grandpa. . !” he breathed, smirking and sucking on Naruto’s skin. The guy huffed, pushing open his bedroom door with his foot and walking inside.

This was significant, though Sasuke didn't yet understand it; Naruto had reentered his bedroom.

He tossed Sasuke on the freshly made bed.

“Don’t call me that,” he complained.

“Do you prefer ‘daddy’?”

“Bless yur heart, no. . !” Sasuke was in a splendid mood. He felt hornier than ever, and in such a state, things like embarrassment were wholly overlooked. He was smiling from ear to ear, raising his arms over his head and spreading his legs.

“Come,” he told Naruto. The blonde came and leaned over him on all fours, then he was stuck staring stupidly. He shook himself. Gathering Sasuke up in his arms, he met with joy although he wasn’t being gentle.

Sasuke could see Naruto’s cock pulsing with each heartbeat if he looked down. He felt it too.

“_Fuck, fuck, fuck. . !_” the guy cursed, pressing Sasuke to his chest with the one arm and rummaging through his nightstand with the other. God, he smelled good! Sasuke sucked Naruto´s ear. Yes, he thought, he was more than ready to get fucked.

“_Hurry_. . !” he whispered.

“I _am_! There!” Naruto had found a condom, and a tube of lube. He dropped Sasuke on his back, in favor of battling with the packaging. Freeing the slimy sucker, it flew out of his hands but he was able to catch it. Sasuke arranged himself, putting his feet on the mattress and spreading his legs. He felt whorish, and smiled.

Naruto pinched the tip and rolled the rest over his dick. Then he squirted a generous dollop into his hand before rubbing himself with it.

"_D-ahh. . !_" He moaned just from this. When he was good and slick, he took the residue to Sasuke’s opening, making him jerk and pant loudly. The digit of Naruto’s forefinger popped inside, and they were both startled for a second—they realized they were about to do something irreversible, and then each frothed at the mouth. Sasuke forced himself to press downward despite what instinct told him. Naruto shook his head, widened his eyes.

“Yer driving me absolutely ape shit, Sasuke. . !” he said.

“Me too. . ! Hurry. . !”

“I can’t believe how hot you are. . ! Never been with anyone like you. . !” His finger slid in and out of him, and the sound was wet and dirty.

“Well, I’m—_Ah_!—happy!”

“Is this enough already?”

“_Uh_. . .” Oh, shit, right. Sasuke had made Naruto believe he’d actually done this kind of thing before, made himself out to be an expert.

“Well? It’s all in there. I think?” Naruto twisted his body back and forth, trying to inspect things. Sasuke blushed.

“Sure,” he confirmed. More than anything, just to get him to stop looking. “Yeah!”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, it’s enough. Just—go slowly at first. . !” Hail Mary, son of God—wait, no.

Naruto was quietly attentive. He hitched Sasuke’s legs unto his shoulders, and with a concentrated expression put the tip of his dick to Sasuke’s opening. Then he thrust forward.

Sasuke had been worried about pain even before any actual penetration had occurred, but now that it had begun. . . He gasped the moment Naruto forced his way inside him, stunned at the gustatory pain that shot like a flare up his spine. It was like taking a constipated shit that split your asshole into three even pieces, like a fucking gingerbread talisman. Suppose he already got his wish, eh?

“_AH_—!" His toes curled as he went rigid, and he grit his teeth as hard as he could.

“Sasuke,” Naruto’s husky voice spoke from right above his face. “Relax a little bit. Yer killin’ me. . !” Sasuke couldn’t relax: it was too painful. The thought of Naruto fucking him, on the other hand, was what kept him hard and wanting. Naruto’s gasps in his ear were light with pain-pleasure admixture. Then he pressed inside all the way, and Sasuke clung to him, pressing his hot body as close as possible and burying his face in Naruto’s neck.

“_Sasu-ke_. . !” the guy moaned.

Sasuke couldn’t have possibly anticipated how badly getting fucked in the ass would hurt, but he discovered that not only had he found a way of staying horny despite the agony, he happened to really like the pain.

Opening his eyes, tears flowing, producing embarrassing sighs, he held Naruto tightly and admired him. Such beautiful skin he had, all tan and velvety. Sasuke ran his hand over Naruto’s back and felt his dick surge.

“_Hnngh_. . !” he sounded. Naruto pulled out of him a little bit before pushing back in. It made a wet sound. Sasuke could feel Naruto’s muscles flexing and working in every part of him. When he raised himself up higher on his arms, Sasuke pulled him back down to smother him with frantic kisses. The guy seemed to love it. He held him, fucked him shallowly and clumsily until he was coming, pressing in and receding to press again.

Sasuke, upon hearing Naruto's breath alter and recognizing the tension building in his body, forced him to look him in the face: he didn’t want to miss this.

Naruto was making an almost painful-looking grimace. His eyes were watery, his brows tight and low, his mouth was open and panting. Little strangled noises spilled out of his throat as he moved back and forth. Sweat ran down his chest, and Sasuke rocked on the mattress.

“You are so—gorgeous. . !” he whispered to him. Naruto blinked, looking surprised in the middle of everything. Then he gasped, his lids fluttering shut and his head lolling forward as his body undulated with more force. Sasuke didn’t feel it inside him, but he knew that Naruto was coming. His voice was like nothing he’d ever heard. Sasuke hadn’t known what it was to feel pleased with himself until Naruto’s orgasm-moan spilled over his face.

"Oh, god. . !" Naruto sighed, clenching one final time.

When he calmed down, he was ballooning with breath. His head was resting on Sasuke’s shoulder, and it was being petted.

Sasuke was intoxicated. He stared up at the ceiling, leering at it.

“Sasuke,” Naruto said after a few minutes, gravelly to the max. Sasuke tightened his arms about him. Naruto wrapped his hand around one. “Can we go again?” What. Sasuke’s ass, not even vacated of the pressure that’s already worn it out, squeezed. There was a stinging pain. He should rest, but the pain was good and even if he got hurt it would still be worth it. “Just a few more times; it’s not bright out for a while yet. . !” Naruto rushed these words out, and kissed Sasuke’s temple and jaw again and again. “Sasuke. . ! Sasuke, I still wantchu. . !”

Again they did go.

And again again.

*

“Here we are.” Naruto stopped the car, and pulled on the handbrake. He put his hands in his lap and looked at Sasuke. “Are you gonna be okay?” It was an hour later, and they were sitting outside Sasuke’s house. He was staring up at it—the bear trap—his hair wet from the shower he’d taken. In his hand dangled a plastic bag (his clothes), and he was wearing one of Naruto’s hoodies—a black one.

Naruto shouldn’t leave him here, didn’t he see that? Sasuke turned his head and looked at him.

“What would you do if I said ‘no’?” he asked, too serious.

“_Uh,_ I don’t know,” Naruto answered sheepishly, running his hand through his hair and looking outside. “Talk to yur dad prob'ly. Tell him it’s my fault you were out.” The thought of Naruto and his father meeting was one that Sasuke almost panicked at. He wanted it to happen so badly: Naruto would brutalize his father!

“He would kill us both if you did that,” he said, tempting what he wanted to hear out of his strange lover. Naruto snorted. Then, sure enough he answered:

“I doubt it. . !” And Sasuke felt joyous accomplishment.

“Thanks for tonight,” he told him then. Naruto brightened up, and gripped the steering wheel.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “You too.”

“So—same time tomorrow night?” Naruto’s phone dinged as Sasuke said this, and they both sort of laughed at it. The guy nodded.

“Yeah, man! Definitely!”

“Cool.”

“_Cool_. . !” Sasuke climbed out of the car with much effort due to the state of his asshole. Before he shut the door and went home, he gave Naruto a smile through the opening that had the guy grinning. “Bye.”

“Yeah, bye. . !” He left him there, and climbing up the hill, Sasuke’s face turned tight and mean; a look he then beamed at the dark window of his father’s bedroom.

Sasuke was like a dog, tasting blood. With growling stomach, in a cowering ball, he was beginning to unravel, looking up out of nowhere and soon finding his master’s eyes. Once done, the attack would no longer be avoidable. He would then drink Fugaku’s blood if in victory same as in defeat.

*

Sasuke was around the corner of his house. He heard Naruto drive away, and chuckled happily to himself.

The stars were out and so was he. The rain was freezing on the trees and the lawns; everything looked enchanted. He grinned. He had to fight not to laugh aloud; he felt like screaming!

He wasn’t a virgin anymore.

Running his hands down his own body, he tried to feel what Naruto had felt. The way his attention had been absolutely fixed on him and the way he’d huffed, moving in him, fucking him, had made Sasuke feel flawless. He wanted to feel that way again. Being with Naruto was like running away and never being found. It felt victorious, and Sasuke was exhilarated.

He wondered if it was the same feeling Itachi had discovered when he’d run away and almost made it free. Sasuke aborted that thought quickly.

Naruto was confident and savvy with the world. Sasuke could learn from him. His father couldn’t hurt Naruto—Naruto would kill him if he tried.

Sasuke let himself bathe in this fact.

He idolized Naruto fiercely starting that moment. The guy could do no wrong: he was the smartest, the strongest—the hottest.

Looking upwards, Sasuke reached under his borrowed hoodie. He fixed the positioning of the handgun in his belt, then climbed the trellis.

*

The following day, Fugaku was stressed. He knew his son; the maids had found dirty rainwater on the sill in his room. He knew his son; Sasuke had snuck out of the house like a burglar, but dirt didn’t prove it.

Today, the boy was tired. Fugaku could see it on his face; he hadn’t slept but he was pretending different.

This was worse than Itachi.

Fugaku decided. Since he knew his son, he would let Sasuke enjoy his little rebellion, and he would search his room on Monday.


	8. The Promenade, Right? (Ay, Life is Some Kind of Walking-Metaphor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, this chapter has an essay in it (on money). If you're not into that kind of thing, you can skip that part: it's clearly marked.
> 
> Right--second, I just want to take the time and say a thing. I don't reply to comments, because I don't read them. That's all, but also: I do notice that we have some frequent fliers up in here, and to those people I would just like to say that I'm glad you're enjoying the stories, and that I do see you and am happy to.

The next night, Saturday, Sasuke was late. Naruto was waiting in his car, sitting on the curb like the night before. He couldn’t help but to worry. Although he considered messaging Sasuke, he decided against it just in case the kid was currently being chewed out by his dad or something. Or maybe he should?

Fifteen minutes passed in this manner, Naruto swaying both mentally and physically, in his seat, back and forth.

His phone dinged, startling him enough to make him still. He checked it quickly, lowering the brightness of the display. Then, upon seeing what the message was, he was leaning back and frowning, putting the phone away again, somehow, deeper in his pocket than it had been before.

It had been like this for days, and he didn’t know what to do about it--except hope the messages stopped coming. Really, a very meek response on his end, it might eb said, but he didn't feel attacked or anything; it was just harassment, so to his mind there wasn't any need to get bent out of shape just yet. Tolerance takes the appearance of meekness, but has an end.

A movement in the corner of his eye made Naruto look at the sidewalk, and in that moment Sasuke started tugging on the passenger door. Naruto smiled and opened it for him, and the kid flopped inside.

“What the hell you locking me out for?” he spat straight off, hissing and lifting his ass off the seat before gingerly sitting back down. Naruto drank in the sight of him, and answered easily:

“My neighborhood’s not as nice as yurs, ya know. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m--_fine_. . ! Just a bit sore.”

“Right." Sasuke gave him a dark look, a warning, that had Naruto not afraid--but instead fighting not to laugh. The kid blushed and looked away. "_Heh!_ Sorry. . !” Naruto whispered, pressing his hand to his grinning mouth. He cleared his throat like he'd only been coughing.

“_Hn,"_ the kid harrumphed himself. "I don’t mind,” he said.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m kinda sore too! I’ve--like--doms in my stomach and—a little bit in my butt, ya know.”

“Doms?”

“Yeah, ya know, like my muscles are spent!”

“Oh, you poor thing. . !" Sasuke looked good, mocking sympathy. His derisive smile was sparkly and fine. "Want to head to your place so we can comfort each other?”

“_Hehe_. . ! You—_uh_—yer a spicy meatball, ya know that? Yikes.”

“I can’t say I’m one hundred on what that means exactly, but if you’re into Italian I can play along.” They laughed together at this.

“_I_ was thinking--we could go to the junkyard again if yer up to it. The place's totally deserted in the weekends, and I got an itchy trigger finger, so. . .”

“_Um_—”

“Yer not feeling it, huh?”

“—it’s not that I’m not _feeling_ it! Yesterday was fun and I absolutely want to do it again, but maybe next weekend?”

“Alright.”

“Today, maybe we could do something else?” Naruto thought about it for a few seconds, then he shrugged, suggesting:

“I’ve--got some beers in the trunk? We could put 'em in a bag and just walk around, if you want.”

“And do what?”

“I don’t know. It’s usually a lot more fun than you’d think though. Let’s do it!” The kid looked skeptical, but intrigued—so Naruto was convinced he would have a good time.

“Sure," Sasuke said, buckling in. "You know best, right?”

“Trust me, man.” Naruto started up the car and pulled into the street, set on a less fancy neighborhood.

“I’m underage though, as you remember,” he was reminded, having indeed forgotten about that. Giving the runaway beauty a onceover, he made up his mind however.

“Who gives a shit?” he then announced. “If yer old enough to die for yur country, yer old enough to get smashed, jesus christ!” This pleased Sasuke to hear, if the sound of his whooping was anything to go by, so Naruto was glad for his own insubordination.

Part 1: The Promenade—What it's All About

“It’s awful,” Sasuke was scowling at the can in his hand, and smacking his tongue. Naruto walked beside him in the middle of an orange-lit road, with backpack slung over one shoulder which he’d filled with beer cans. Snow was falling from the sky.

“I hate beer,” he answered, downing the last of his second one.

“You do not!” Sasuke laughed. He went to rummage in the backpack, holding on to Naruto’s jacket like he actually needed to. But he wasn’t fooling him, and Naruto smiled to himself. “Here!” Sasuke said, handing over a new can.

“Thanks—” The beer opened with a crack which echoed loudly in the lane they were walking on, between family homes and garages. Naruto hunched his shoulders, checking behind himself like someone might come get him. Sasuke beamed. “—Woops. . ! And yes—I do. Tastes like fermented ass and farts, seriously.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“_Oh_, don’t give me that ‘acquired taste’ bullshit! It’s fucking rot!”

“And yet you’re the one having drank two while I’m still on my first!”

“That’s cuz I’m a man. . !”

“Stop.” Naruto drank deeply, almost spilling beer on himself when he grinned. Now, we can say that the beer does a fair job of symbolizing the influence that both Naruto and Sasuke had on one another. Naruto’s stomach bubbled; he was giggly.

“Drink faster!” he told the kid, pointing.

“Don’t boss me around. . !” But Sasuke did as told, finishing the can. He looked miserable. “_Blergh_!”

“Yum, yum, yum!” For this, he was given an exuberant thumbs up. “Help yourself!” Sasuke took another beer from the backpack. He opened it gently. “_Ooh_! Mr. piano fingers over here! You been practicing on Dr. Poppers, ya nerd?”

“Not everyone’s a clod-handed freak like you.”

“What? _Christ_—that’s so mean!” Naruto was baffled—and liked it. He hummed to himself, trying not to have an episode. Sasuke snorted at him, accidentally squirting beer on his own face. That was it, the killing blow. Naruto was dead, and he had to stop walking. “_Hahaha_!”

“I’m sorry—“ Sasuke wiped his face with his hand.

“A _clod-handed freak_!”

“—It just sort of came out!” Naruto wheezed for air, gripping his knees. Then, with a clap of his hands, he stood up, crying a little bit and trying desperately to contain himself. He was having one of those fits people sometimes get, when they can’t stop laughing at a joke and they go wild about it. He meditated in secret, tra-la-laing internally to distract himself. Sasuke couldn’t know.

They resumed walking.

They were going to make it from the start of the street, right to the end of it. It was a long stretch, all lit up with light posts the whole way. Naruto and Sasuke could see where it finished, at a vanishing point far ahead. There were little mountains or hills over there, and it looked like they were living in a valley. The street was like their relationship.

“It’s a first, I’ll give you that!” Naruto said, pronouncing the words carefully. “Clod! Isn’t that like—dirt or. . ?”

“Like _uh_—your hands are so stupid it’s like they’re clumps of dirt. Not suited to be hands.” Naruto made a noise which could be mistaken for crying.

“My _hands_’re stupid? Yeah, well—_hmhm_!—yur face is stupid in that case. Whose hands’re even smart then? Yurs? I’ve never received a complaint about my _stupid hands_ before, _if-you-know-what-I’m-sayi_—no, I’m just kidding.” He drank, swinging his head fully back. Taking a crooked step he stumbled, but Sasuke caught his arm.

“I do know what you’re saying, but I like you anyway,” he revealed, smiling.

“_Aw_, well shucks!” They bumped shoulders, and beer once more splashed Sasuke’s face by jumping in the can. He wiped his mouth, putting on an annoyed look. “_Haha_! Sorry—_heh_—I’ll get it. . !” Leaning in, Naruto had an impulse to lick Sasuke’s upper lip clean, and so he did it. “_Mm_!” he praised. “I like it better with a side-a you.”

How lucky was he? Having such a knock-out for a fuck-friend was like a dream come true! Sasuke better not be getting a boyfriend anytime soon, because Naruto was not done with him!

“Yeah,” the kid quietly agreed. “_Me too._”

Part 2: The Promenade—Sasuke’s Claim to Naruto

Naruto’s phone dinged again, and he went digging through the pockets of his jacket. He pulled the device out, and it shone between his fingers. Burping discretely, he looked at it. It was from that chick again. Oh, fuck off.

“What is it?”

“Nah, it’s just—justis girl.” He was uncomfortable with this subject. The phone got put away.

“What girl? Your ex?”

“What, Sakura?” Naruto snorted. “No! It’s her friend—alright?—if you must know. . ! It’s her friend Hinata. She’s always snapping these _ecchi_ fucking pictures.”

“At you?”

“It’s on her story too so I don’t think it’s a personal thing, ya know, but it’s still—a little—it’s a little weird!”

“Is she naked in the pictures?”

“Not _naked_-naked, but like—tits out, ass in yur face.”

“_Uhhh_. . ?”

“Kinda plucky, yeah.”

“And she’s done that for a long time, or did she just start one day?”

“Man, she was always like that more or less—tits out, I mean—but, I don’t know. Lately it’s like she’s started messaging me more, and it’s always these kinda selfies with some little message you don’t know how to respond to.”

“You shouldn’t respond at all. . !”

“I don’t!—usually. But it’s kinda provoking, so sometimes I do send her a reply—making damn sure it’s not a selfie! I don’t think I could do it without pouting or pulling on my collar, and I don’t wanna be a jerk—so I just shoot whatever’s in front of me, and sorta wish her a nice day, ya know.” Sasuke’s beer can made a crunching noise when he crushed it in his hands. Naruto raised an eyebrow at him. “You good?”

“I’m _fine_. . !” The kid was not fine; he was jealous, and Naruto could tell.

“You want another one?” he asked, flattered.

“_Yes_!” Sasuke was already on Naruto’s back, digging around. “What did she send now? Selfie?”

“Yup. She’s at some party or something, standing in the bathroom, leaning over. Nothing new.”

“We should send her a response. . !”

“What, you and me?”

“Why not?” Sasuke opened his third beer and drank from it. Shrugging, he continued: “We should wish her a nice evening.”

“She wouldn’t know what to think, man.”

“It’s not written on our foreheads we’ve fucked, is it?”

“. . .God, I wanna Simba you so bad.”

“What?”

“What? Nothing.” Naruto frowned, pouting, looking away and sipping.

“Let’s do it,” the kid said.

“Jah, later, for sure!” It was music to his ears! He flung his head around so fast it clicked. "_Aow_. . !" he said, rubbing his neck.

“What? Why not now?”

“In the _street_!?”

“What are you talking about!? She’s not going to care if we’re in the street!”

“_Oh_! Oh, right! I thought—_hehe_!—never mind what I thought. Yeah, okay, let’s do it.” He got out his phone again, and opened up the app.

“What did you think I was talking about?”

“Nothing. Smile!” They squeezed together, taking a picture of themselves toasting their beer cans. Naruto was grinning like an idiot, crossing his eyes, while Sasuke glared death straight into the camera.

“What’s ‘simba’?” he asked then, as Naruto was typing a message.

“You wanna redo this one? You look scary, man!”

“Hey.”

“It’s nothing.” As if he would tell him. He’d rather show him later. “She should be happy about that. Well, she’s gonna wanna know who _you_ are—_fer suuure_.” Hinata was obviously out for a lay. Why she thought it would be alright (as Sakura’s friend) to hit on Naruto, was something he didn’t understand. It did give him enough of a clue, though, that he realized she wouldn’t be getting over Sasuke’s handsomeness anytime this month.

“_Hn_. Well, keep her guessing.”

“You don’t like her, huh?” The kid didn’t answer. Naruto decided he liked him jealous: it was cute. “You jealous cuz I bin looking at'er tits? She wants me to look, ya know.”

“No shit she does.”

“I like yurs better; does that make you happy again?”

“Shut up. It does not.”

“Maybe I should let her have yur number too, and we can look together.”

“If you do that I’ll fucking kill you. . !”

“Yeah?” Naruto laughed loudly. “You wanna go, princess? What’s to stop me?” He got in front of Sasuke, cutting him off. With arms out and up into the air, Naruto pressed his chest forward and urged the kid to take a swing at him—if he dared. Sasuke would never dare, Naruto knew. Rather--he licked his lips. “Dude.”

“Have you ever read Twenty Thousand Leagues?” the kid asked.

“Does this bod _look_ like it’s been hunching over books?” Turning around, Naruto flexed and posed. Sasuke groaned, but came following along forward.

“Anyway!” he exclaimed. “There’s this scene with Captain Nemo when he’s talking about the Avenger—that’s a boat—and he’s being chased by a Spanish warship or something, trying to kill him. At this point in the story, he’s standing on top of his submarine, saying he’s not going to give the Spaniards the privilege of sharing a grave with the Avenger. So he leads them away from her, making exactly that pose you just did when they start to fire at him.”

“Then what?”

“Then--he sinks them!” Naruto didn't completely understand.

“. . . And that does it for you, huh?" he wondered, head atilt. "Yur book-wormy ass want some of this Captain Nemo dick?” He could hear Sasuke snickering. It seemed: yes, that was the kind of thing he liked. “Ya know, if it does it for you, I’m totally down for role playing; I’ll be any captain you prefer.” But it wasn’t about costumes, and of course Naruto realized this.

“Will you?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “I don’t give a fuck. Stick a clown nose on me if yer into that—_honk, honk_, baby, let’s get it on.” It was about being violent and aggressive. Naruto was certainly violent, but he didn’t know how aggressive he could be if push did come to shove.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Thanks.”

“No, I mean you’re unbelievably stupid. . !”

“Well—that’s not very nice, but—also kinda hot.” Sasuke laughed, and took a big stride forward. He was yawning at the night sky. Naruto smiled, watching him. The snowfall was perfect. Big flakes were sitting down in Sasuke’s hair, and on top of his shoulders. He looked dressed in crystals, and it was almost more than Naruto could take when he looked up at him.

The weather can be explained: it was raining whenever Sasuke and Naruto needed each other, snowing when they could no longer do without. . .

“I don’t want Captain Nemo,” the kid then said, tossing his bangs and blinking slowly. “And I really don’t want a clown. I want _you_, daddy. . ! No one else will do.”

“Thought I told you not to call me that.” Naruto tried to ignore him, but Sasuke grabbed his jacket and forced him to pay attention. Naruto was surprised at how strong the kid was.

“What’re you going to do about it?” Sasuke smiled lustily up into his downturned face, and Naruto felt his jeans tighten. He knew it was bad, but the vulnerability behind all of Sasuke’s anger (that Sasuke thought wasn't showing) completely turned him on.

“We’re nowhere near a bed or anything like it; what’re you doing?” Naruto complained, twisting.

“Maybe I just want you to kiss me one time.”

“Oh, _ha-ha_!” He pushed Sasuke away. Then, taking a swig from his beer, he waved his finger. “Yer gonna hafta get a boyfriend if you want smooches, man; this shop is cu-losed!”

They resumed walking. Naruto was not looking for love. He would not let the kid that close—even if he wanted to. The snowfall got heavier, and down was fluttering from the sky. Naruto and Sasuke couldn’t see anything but the ground at their feet, the light posts and foremost: the haloed snow in the air. Sasuke hurried up to Naruto’s side and ejected:

“What’s wrong with kissing? _You_ did it at school!” He grabbed Naruto's arm, and was allowed to keep it.

“That was different. I was just playing witchu."

“And I can’t play?” Playing was fine. This particular game, however, the kid could play alone.

“Not right now,” mumbled Naruto, eyeing his beer and wondering if he was done with it.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything. . !”

“_Wrong_! Kissing’s for lovers; we’re fuck-buddies. So, kissing—we won’t be doing!”

“Who are you—Julia Robington?”

“Yup! And yer my Richard Rear! So, like, don’t ruin a good thing for no reason—or you’ll be my Lindsey Lowham, ya know.”

“_Ugh_! I hate Hollywood.”

“Tell me about it,” Naruto grumbled, pulling his hood tighter about his shivering neck.

An Essay the Rich Don’t Like

_‘I hate Hollywood’_. As soon as Sasuke had said this, Naruto felt a wave of bitterness swell. A certain side of him showed, one that Sasuke was only partly acquainted with. It threw Naruto into a tantrum he didn’t care to stop, and he said: “fucking Olympians acting out the bubblegum-garbage spit-balled unto the walls of fatass executives with not an artistic bone in their bodies!”

He had this attitude because he was of extremely low income. To him, everything was money saved and so every piece of clothing he owned was very worn and slowly whittling away. Doctors’ appointments are between $150 and $200 and they’d nearly killed him. Course literature had been like $100, and the cabs $50. Thank god Sasuke was insured, or Naruto would have to rot in a cell to pay for ensuring his safety.

“And all just for a _cut_—a cut the size of a _mortgage_!” he continued, incensed. "—Of their cracky, fucking moneybags that they just _deserve_ because they like living in _palaces_ and driving fifty cars around the clock!” The beer was an indulgence, one that had cost him.

Naruto had a monthly allowance of $1,080. Every month, he was paying around $563 on housing costs (bills), depending on how much electricity he consumed. In the winters, his housing costs were more expensive, but his allowance didn’t change. This means that during 6 out of 12 months, 47.9% of his allowance was spent on housing costs, and during as many months, more. That’s already 17.9% more than what is considered decent by the public, according to a qualitative investigation by housing construction company Skaaanska. There aren’t actually any laws or anything else that protect people like Naruto from paying more than 30% of their allowance, however—so he’s expected to make up for his losses with, we suppose, indecency.

Naruto had $517 left for food, and whatever else he chose to buy.

Food is expensive, and bread alone adds up to something like $25 per month if purchased every three days. You also might need milk, that’s $20.6 as per 15 purchase(s)/month; butter, $4.5 1…/month; cheese, $10 1…/month; and a second condiment, let’s say ‘ham’, $8.8 1…/month, which totals to $68.9 per month in breakfast expenses that accord to dietary recommendation.

Dinner and lunch expenses can be averaged to a number like ‘$7 per day’ if you’re living frugally. That means: every month, Naruto paid on average $210 just for dinner and lunch.

The drive to school is 5 kilometers, which means that 20 trips to school consumes 5.5 liters of gas (if 5.5l of gas equals 100km), the same as $8.3. Naruto was making this drive 44 times a month. That’s 12.1 liters, or $18.2.

Here’s a monthly account of non-luxury expenses: toothpaste, $3; toothbrush, $6; dental floss, $2.5; fluoride, $6.9; shampoo, $5.4; shower gel, $5.7; toilet paper, $6.5; dish soap, sponge and rag $1.3, $0.72, $1.08; washing detergent, $1.4; cleaning supplies (limited to soap), $0.7.

His allowance then, went from $517 (after housing costs) to $178.7 per month.

Is $178.7 enough pocket money? For perspective’s sake we include that to Naruto, buying a latte at Starschmuck’s for $4, is the same percentage-wise as a low income person paying $7.18 for the same latte. A middle class income taker would have to pay $25.58 for that latte; a high income person would have to pay $57.86, and a person of extremely high income would have to pay around $13,772.22. Note that the factor used to calculate these numbers (4/1,080=0.0037) aren’t from Naruto’s pocket money, but from his total allowance.

Here’s an account of the wage/salary distribution in America (one person households):

  * Extremely Low Income (poverty) $1,040-$1,503/month (Reference: federalregister.gov annual update of the HHS poverty guidelines 2019.) The cutoff-line has been estimated with regards to low income, according to Investopedia’s article ‘Which Income Class are You’.
  * Low Income $1,504-$2,376.3/month
  * Middle class income $6,445.9-$7,381.6/month
  * High Income $14,481.3-$16,794.8/month
  * Extremely High Income (This is a sample run of three such income takers: one actor, one musician, one model. The numbers were pulled from magazine majority reports). #1 $5,375,000/month (that’s Thor, 2018) #2 $3,916,666.7/month (that’s D-rake, 2018) #3 $1,875,000/month (that’s K-doll Jen-ur, 2017-2018).

(Reference for income numbers: investopedia.com ‘Which Income Class are You’, referencing Pew Research Center).

The District of Columbia (capital city) pays the lowest wages and salaries in America. It also pays the highest wages and salaries. That means: in the capital city, you’ll see the most downtrodden people in the country living right next to the most lavish. It’s hard to argue for this being anything but cruelty by juxtaposition, where the poor are deprived even of the luxury to forget how much less they have in comparison to those who have the most. (Reference: investopedia.com ‘Which Income Class are You’, referencing pew research center).

It’s comparatively easy to see how anything out of the ordinary might as well ruin Naruto’s personal economy.

“Who the hell _deserves_ money? There’s no such thing as ‘wage’ or ‘salary’, just ‘allowance’. Nothing, but the government sitting on and portioning out all the money of a nation according to some rich bastard's preference!

It’s brilliant having us fight each other. ‘_I worked hard’_—harder than me? So, I _deserve_ to be deprived—as an incentive? I’m being punished for things out of my control. Being poor is depressing, and fatal all on its own! I’m getting less fit every day; what kind of upswing can I look forward to? I chipped a tooth three years back—guess what’s going on withat? Nothing. I’m a cripple no one can diagnose—I haven’t gotten any treatment or medication. If I were a football player, d’you think I’d not know what was wrong with me? I would, because pros cut the line, and they get fixed while the rest of us don’t. They don’t have to suffer, but I _deserve_ to.

Olympians and executives think they’re entitled to _more_—and they spend what they can on whatever’s for sale, thinking their greed isn’t blameworthy. And the government won’t put a stop to it, because it’s what’s keeping the economy alive—so we’re all just gonna have to burn!

Well, who d’you think’s gonna have to burn first—once things’re outa control?

Us plebeians have no choice but to have every turd that rolls downhill—outa Hollywood and all the other High Offices—land right in our eyes, because our hands are tied.

Day and night, rectangular goddamned glow-in-the-dark enforcers hector as many of our senses as possible, all to make us _buy_ _something_!

It’s brainwashing! We _do_ deserve better than to be force-fed bullshit—because it’s decent! We _do_ deserve to be in control of our own lives!—because it’s decent. I do _not_ have to suit myself, or become rich enough to buy myself a voice—I have a _pitchfork_. . !

God forsaken, blood sucking, oligarchical hellhole!” Naruto threw his beer can over a hedge. It soared off, vomiting while he rubbed his head.

End, An Essay the Rich Don’t Like

Part 3:The Promenade—Sasuke’s Reaction to Naruto’s Nature

“_Wow_. . !” He didn’t care what Sasuke had to say about him right now. It was all true—and if the kid had a problem with it then he could cry a river.

“Dude,” Naruto said. “We live in a sewage pit, and I’m thinking: why not just _drown now_ if we’re not fighting back? At least that way, the stars wouldn’t get their garbage picked up. Their castles would start to stink, and they’d catch their death in there.

Everything’s a popularity contest, isn’t it? I’m so disappointed.” Crying wasn’t far off. His foot was aching. His life was ruined, and he was trying his best. He did have a sollution to pair with his complaints: eat the rich--take their money and their crap; eat them whole if you have to. That’s when Sasuke surprised him with comradery.

“I’ve never heard anyone describe my own frustration with the world before. . !” he said. Naruto frowned, unable to just take this offer of friendship when he was at his most vulnerable. But he got out another beer.

“_Mhm_,” he answered. “Let me tell ya: the only thing mightier than money is beauty, Sasuke. You’ve got it good. You could crawl into anyone’s bed, and assassinate them.” There was fear in this sentence.

“Not everyone on Earth is attracted to men, genius. . !”

“_Bullshit_! It’s not a question of gender! Appeal is sexless!”

“Sounds like the reasoning of someone pretty hot, to me. Have you ever been rejected yourself?”

“I don’t know, _have_ _I_? I’m not talking 'bout love! Someone like you—nineteen years old, polite, quiet, just fucking _beautiful_—you make the world go ‘round. It’s only too bad you won’t know how true that is ‘til you’ve waned, man. The world, everyone, me included, worship beauty, and it’s associated first hand with youth.

The only thing you lack which coulda let you into a millionaires bedroom even quicker, is even extremer youth! If you were a child. . .

Weakness is hot according to those wanting power—for obvious reasons. How many heartless absolute assholes have you met in yur life? Quite a few, I’m guessing. What d’you say about them being exactly the sort to fight their way into positions of power? Just look atchur dad, he’s got a nice job, right?

The majority of powerful jobs then, can be assumed to be held by outright _psychos_ who can’t act decent for anything but to save their own skin. Would you expect them to not wreak havoc on the world? No. They’re emotionally deranged and lack a moral compass, after all.

Vengeance, dude—shouldn’t you be into that? _Viva la resistance_. . !”

Sasuke was utterly silent. He nursed his beer, deep in thought for several minutes. Eventually, Naruto’s concern with having crossed a line grew all-consuming. He didn’t know how much a kid like Sasuke could take.

“Look, I—” he fidgeted with the beer in his hands, afraid to look up and see disapproval looking back “—I don’t usually whine like this. The truth is I’m feeling kinda fed up with life as it is right now, and it’s making me act a little crazy. I don’t wantchu to think less of me.”

“I don’t think less of you!” Sasuke exclaimed, his head jerking up. They gaped at each other. “I was just thinking about what you said, because I thought it was interesting how you and I agree on so many things!” he explained.

“We—we do?”

“Yes! I started it, didn’t I? I said: ‘I hate Hollywood!’ It _is_ Olympus! It’s worthless and expensive!”

“Yes! Oh, my god!”

“Why not just take every charity event and _aim it at them_?”

“Or just fucking rob them all, and redistribute wealth amongst the nation!” Naruto laughed.

“Or _blow them up_!”

“_Yes_!” Both of them howled with pleasure at this idea. “Ya know, you’ve got a good head on you!” Naruto erupted.

“Thank you very much! See, my father’s a politician. I grew up with this stuff.”

Part 4:The Promenade—Sasuke’s Problem

“He is? I thought he was just rich,” Naruto breathed.

“No, he practically runs this town.” Sasuke was unphased.

“Wait—he _what_?”

“You’re surprised? You didn’t know you were hanging out with royalty?” The kid winked at him, drinking.

“Royalty! That’s one way to make yourself seem important.”

“Sarcasm is wonderful. It’s the one sense of humor I’m allowed, so it’s a good thing I happen to love it.”

“Yer a sarcastic bastard, that’s for sure.”

“Don’t forget ‘cynical’. And I love irony—crave it, even! That’s partly why I love—about you; you’re a jock and a himbo, but you say the best stuff.”

“Come on. Yer isolated.”

“And you—would make a fine comedian.”

“Shut up, man!” Chuckling, Naruto pushed Sasuke into a stumble. “That's a real problem: all the would-be-good politicians become comedians, and all the would-be-better politicians die young, ya know. And yer the himbo; I woke up like this.”

“My father—”

“_Ugh_! Why do you say that? _My father, the king_! Just say ‘dad’ for fuck’s sake!”

“—Shut up—he’s the head of all kinds of different boards. Education, Infrastructure, various governmental companies. He’s in the newspaper all the time, so people have always associated me with him; always sucking up to me to get on his good side, or telling me about political ideas they want realized, thinking I’ll pass them on to him and that’ll be a way for them to grasp some kind of power. I have my own problems! It’s not fun being his son. . !”

“No, I know, man. I know.”

“Nobody ever thinks about that! What it’s like for me! The guy’s _crazy_!”

“Hey, I think about it, alright? I worry about you like every day!”

“He actually _is_ a psychopath—like you said! And it’s just not important, right? Well, what about Sasuke? He’s clean, he’s dressed and looks fine—so he must be! But you know, I grew up not allowed to make any noise for fuck’s sake! Can you imagine? Shouting is _unbecoming_. As is, apparently, moving too quickly or acting in any way that isn’t robotic! No gaping, no yawning without covering your mouth, no grinning—god help you if your teeth are showing!—no slouching, no fidgeting, no scratching, no touching your face, no sneezing more than once, no babbling—no _nothing_!”

“Hey, hey, hey! C’mere! It’s alright. . !” Naruto stopped walking and took Sasuke’s hand. He pulled him into a tight hug. “You’ve had a bit much to drink, I think.”

“No! I haven’t! _Fuck you_! You should hear what he says about people!” Despite these words, Sasuke clung to Naruto, sticking his arms inside his jacket and squeezing his waist. “I just—I feel like I’m suffocating. . !”

“_Shhh_! Yer not. It’s okay. . !”

“I want to get out! _Naruto_! He hits me! Help—me! _Please_. . !” Naruto let out a sound of pain at hearing this said aloud. Sasuke’s cries for help were breaking his heart. “Help me. . !” the kid whispered, hiding his face in Naruto’s neck. Sasuke's beer can fell to the ground with a _clack! _and he flexed his arms with all his might.

“I will. . !” Naruto wheezed, his breath having been forced out of him. “Yer coming home with me tonight, and we’ll go to the police station in the morning—”

“No!” A shock coursed through Sasuke’s body.

“—and you can tell ‘em everything that’s troubling you. Why not? I promise; it’s illegal what he’s doing to you!”

“No, I can’t go to the police! He’ll send me away when he finds out!”

“How’s he gonna do that!? Sasuke, you’ve been made to believe yer trapped! He doesn’t need to lock you in, cuz yer too scared to leave!”

“No! You don’t get it!” Sasuke tried to wrench free of Naruto’s embrace, but couldn’t. He was glaring angrily. He spat: “He’ll send me away! Because if I don’t come willingly, he’ll kill me—he’ll absolutely kill me! Refusing his orders and running away is the utmost betrayal to him! I’ll be dishonored, and he won’t have any issues about killing the son he’s already lost to disobedience, alright!? Japan is like his ultimate reform! If I go, at least he believes there’s a chance at rehabilitating me and I won’t be a lost cause! So, I don't have a choice! There's _nothing_ I can do!”

“. . .But he’s not gonna getchu if you go to the police, Sasuke—whatchur talking about is abduction; America’s not gonna let chu get kidnapped and deported to a country where yer likely to face illegal internment. . ! It’s a violation of human rights!”

“Are you kidding me?” Sasuke assumed an expression here that was equal parts pity to hatred. “Violating human rights mean fuck-all. . ! I’m male. I’m an adult. There’s a thousand mothers and children to every one of me. I won’t be getting into protective custody. . ! All he needs is _a day_—at most!”

“I won’t let him take you away, Sasuke.”

“If I go to the police, you’re going to have to. I’ll never see you again. . !” Naruto didn’t have a solution to Sasuke's problems. His mind filled with visions of him beating the ever living shit out of Sasuke’s bastard of a father, then going to jail for having blessed the kid with the freedom to live on equal terms with everyone else.

He couldn’t force him to try and speak with the authorities. He couldn’t save him without sacrificing himself. It was bullshit.

“What can I do to help you feel better?” he wondered sheepishly. The troubled face before him relaxed somewhat, and Sasuke leaned into his embrace again. Naruto’s heart was beating out of his chest.

“Destroy something with me,” Sasuke said, laying his fingers on it. Naruto didn’t know if he’d heard him right. He bent his neck, trying to see what face Sasuke was making. “I want to be excited and afraid of something other than him.”

“Sasuke. . .”

“Please? You said it yourself, right? in so many words: society deserves mayhem.”

“Yeah but—”

“Please.”

“—_you_ don’t. . ! _You_ deserve peace and like—comfort.”

“It’s not what I need; I need _violence_. . !”

“You do _not_. . !”

“You can comfort me after. I’m really okay, I just have to feel something different right now.” An irresistible pull surged in Naruto. Sasuke was just too vandalized and helpless—it really turned him on.

Cursing himself for being so fucked up, he had no choice but to please Sasuke however he may, or he would be admitting the fact that he was exactly that which he hated: a psycho striving for strength, who got off on dominating the weak. He didn’t want to be that, but he was kind of exactly that.

“Alright,” he whispered. “Whatever you want, Sasuke. Anything you want!”

The snowfall was so heavy now, that they couldn’t see the end of the road anymore.

‘Anything’ so my friend won’t find

My secret, gainsome plot;

Then I will have to stop myself

And I would rather not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was at the dentist's today--for aesthetics. Take care of your teeth, people. And rob banks. God.
> 
> I'm going on a rock concert this November, and I'm psyched. Me and a friend's going to the capital, and we're on the front row. Gonna shit myself big time. It's my favorite band, so I've been sweating over train tickets. 'Tell you about it after.


	9. To Hell!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's porn, ahoy! All hands on deck for the sexy warning!

Naruto was halfway inside the driver-side window of some random car. His legs and ass were on the outside, while he was reaching inside to disengage the handbrake. There was broken glass and snow crunching under his sneakers.

The snowfall was continuous.

Sasuke stood watching and waiting. He smiled. They’d already busted up two bus stops with rocks, grubbed a few traffic signs, and forcibly opened the front door to some family house.

The idiots had it coming, as far as Sasuke was concerned. They were asking to get robbed with a door like that. They should be thankful he and Naruto had only bothered themselves with their safety, and nothing more.

Naruto slunk back out of the car.

“Grab the wheel,” he told Sasuke. And did he ever leap, like he leapt to this occasion? Excited, he reached inside the window and turned the car into the street, while Naruto pushed at it from behind, grunting.

They moved it along, slowly approaching the canal. There were apartment buildings on each side of them, but the windows were all dark and the street deserted. The only sound was that of the car's wheels crunching on snow, and Naruto's huffing strain. Sasuke felt formidable, looking back at him. He hadn't, in his life, been allowed so much as a punching bag, and by busting up the town he was able to feel intense relief--instead of anger, like usually. Naruto’s shoes slid on the snowy terrain.

“Get over here and help me,” he muttered. Sasuke did. The ground was lain with cobblestone by the canal, so they were having a hard time actually moving the car over it. Naruto’s face was red, and he cursed. Before too long, the black waters sloshed just a few quick steps ahead of them. Patches of ice floated here and there, like miniature islands.

“Son of a—” Naruto dug his heels in.

“_Hehe_!” Sasuke couldn’t wait.

“—bitch!” The almost subtle noise that the car’s wheels had been making on the stones was suddenly turned into a loud skidding and scraping, as the front of the vehicle passed the edge of the quay. The car was sliding now, and there was no use nor point in pushing it anymore.

Naruto and Sasuke jumped back as the butt of the car lifted up when its center of gravity was over the edge. It reared tall, before falling into the canal with an inane racket and splash. The disturbed water flew high into the air, pouring down on them both as they failed to get away in time.

“_Ahg_!”

“Shit!” Sasuke laughed happily. Naruto was reaching over him, obviously trying to spare him getting wet. While Sasuke was touched, he was nonetheless dripping with cold water. Naruto, on the other hand, looked drenched to his underwear. The guy sighed wearily, swatting his hands away from himself so the water sprayed. There was a slimy plastic bag draped on his shoulder.

“Look at you, poor thing!” Sasuke mocked, pinching the bag between his fingers and dropping it on the ground with a splat.

“_Ugh_. . ! You better be happy now. . !"

"I am!" he chuckled.

"Yeah, good, laugh it up, you sadist.” He was happy. Spurred by adrenaline, Sasuke took Naruto’s sodden jacket in his hands and pulled--then he kissed him hard, right on the lips like he didn't want him to. After all, it was as if the guy would do anything for him! Sasuke felt pretty sure, in this moment, that he could just take what he wanted from Naruto, and didn't need to ask first. He'd never felt so impressed by anyone, or so dear to them.

Naruto stared, but didn’t do anything else. Sasuke was thankful. He would push his luck, he decided, wrapping his arms around the guy’s neck and forcing his tongue inside his mouth.

“_Mh_. . !” He didn’t care that he was whelming Naruto in every meaning of the word: he needed to. Sasuke felt Naruto’s cheek under his hand, caressing it. It was a little rough; golden stubble was scratching at his palm. This man, he thought, would beat Fugaku Uchiha at his own game—Sasuke was seeing to it by any means. He would do anything to persuade Naruto.

The guy finally returned the kiss and Sasuke felt his body roar to life, at once desperate for a connection.

“Naruto,” he whispered.

“_Mm_?”

“I want you. . !” A quiet chuckle answered his admission as Sasuke rained kisses on Naruto's mouth. “Give it to me. . !" he continued. "Give me your fat cock to play with. . !” He hardly knew what he was saying, but hey--it was fun.

“That’s some mouth on you,” mumbled Naruto, tasting like beer and slipping with dirty water. Sasuke buried his hand in wet, bright hair, flexing and eliciting a grunt.

“I want you to choke me with it. . !”

“We have to get out of here.”

“Be rough with me. . ! _Make me_. . !”

“You goddamn—rape-fetish jackass. . !” The guy leaned back to frown at him. “You can’t talk like that,” he said. He was fingering Sasuke's hand in his hair, half-heartedly trying to loosen his grip.

“Why not? It’s what I want. Shouldn’t I ask for it?”

“Christ. . !”

“Don’t you want me too?”

“Yeah, but—”

“So if I cry from happiness, how can you call it ‘rape’? _Huh_?” He tightened his grip, and pulled Naruto down for another forceful kiss. “I want it rough. . !” he then hissed in his ear. “I like it when it hurts. . !” The guy became very still and quiet then, and Sasuke pressed his body against him.

Abruptly, he took Sasuke’s hand from his hair, then started dragging him toward some old converted wharf buildings. Once there, he put his back against the wall of one so he was mildly obscured from the light of the lamp posts, and then Sasuke was being pushed to his knees in front of him.

"Shit. . !" Naruto cursed, looking around and unzipping his jeans.

“Fuck yesss. . !” Sasuke couldn’t wait. He took control. Tugging the guy’s wet jeans and boxers down to his knees, he saw his red-swollen erection spring free. Sasuke pounced, and Naruto squeezed his shoulder. Taking the head into his mouth in one gulp, Sasuke tried to do what Naruto had done to him the night before. He gaped, attemtping to swallow the whole thing right away, but noticed his throat protesting.

“_Ah_!” Naruto jerked, his hands suddenly pulling Sasuke’s hair. “Careful. . ! Watch the teeth. . !” Sasuke dug his fingernails into Naruto’s ass and moaned around his length. “_Oh—oh—fuck_. . !” Bobbing his head, he experimented with suction and tongue-involvement. It was well received; the guy's head hit the wall as his mouth fell open. “F-fuck! _Sasuke_. . !”

He was rock-hard, himself. If he didn't unbutton his slacks, he was going to scream.

He took Naruto’s dick deeper into his gullet, finding it possible if he just relaxed and focused. The guy jumped, moaning, and Sasuke had to shift his hands, trapping him by the hips against the wall. If he thrust forward, Sasuke would straight up puke on him—not hot. So, in this manner, in a sage-like moment of channeling some arche cocksucker, Sasuke lost himself, becoming dedicated like he was exercising a craft.

“Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Yer so good at this—what the fuck. . !” Looking upwards, he saw Naruto staring at him, open-mouthed and with pupils fully dilated. He was gasping, and it was the single most erotic sound Sasuke had ever heard. He tried swallowing around the dick in his throat. The blonde went cross-eyed, and his fingers clenched so hard Sasuke was almost made prematurely bald. “You—_Sa—shi—_” Sasuke did it again. The guy almost fell down; his knees buckled. Sasuke swallowed around him relentlessly, and held him still with all his strength. “_A-aaah._ . ! Fuck. . ! Oh—god!—yer so—so fucking perfect. . ! Shit, Sasuke! Yer—seriously killing me. . !” Sasuke hummed, amused, and Naruto twitched powerfully. He pulled Sasuke’s head forward, all gentleness blown away as he decided to fuck his face until he came.

Sasuke almost panicked: he couldn’t breathe—and he loved it. Naruto gasped ruggedly in quick succession, then held still, pressing and pulling hard, his voice reduced to one quiet choke.

Cum was squirting directly into Sasuke's throat; he could feel it tickling him, running. It tasted like salt and something indeterminable. He was so turned on by it (along with the thought of what was happening) that he pressed himself as close as he could get, burying his nose in Naruto’s pelvis, and feeling the hair there tickle him between the eyes. He jerked his own hand into his pants and gripped himself. Tugging viciously just a few times, he came between Naruto’s feet.

The guy went soft in his mouth and slipped out. Then he was gasping strenuously, standing with one hand over his eyes like he wanted to hide.

Sasuke looked up at him, worship-like, and then noticed how a string of cum and spit connected his mouth to Naruto’s dick for one magical moment. Sasuke swallowed thickly, marveling at the viscosity on his tongue. His entire jaw was wet with spit and spilt ooze. The front of his shirt was wet too. His fringe stuck to his cheek. He likened himself mentally to a slave, and could almost cum again.

He dove back in, a smile on his lips.

“_Ah_! Wait. . !” Naruto hissed, pleadingly, and gripped Sasuke’s shoulders. Sasuke laved his tongue across the guy’s limp dick, and realized he loved playing with it like this too. He licked it clean, jaw straining open, and breathed in the scent of musk and slight chlorine—the whole time, with eyes fixed on Naruto's blue ones. “Sasuke. . .” His voice was deep, nearly normal again but very, very soft like he was sorry.

Sasuke’s head was then stroked, and he had to keep himself from laughing. He took Naruto’s right thigh in his hands and licked the inside of it.

"Hey," Naruto whispered. "You don't have to do that." God—it was so hard! This guy was definitely strong, Sasuke thought; his entire leg was pure muscle. The guy could definitely beat the last out of Sasuke’s father, if he wanted to. Sasuke moaned and ran his tongue along that glorious thigh, wanting to appease it specifically. Then he sucked Naruto’s dick back into his mouth. The guy made a noise, and his fingers turned to clamps on Sasuke’s coat before he was dragged to his feet. Suddenly, he was standing and blinking stupidly, not quite understanding what had happened for a second. Then he laughed, totally charmed. “Are you okay?” Naruto asked. He was inspecting Sasuke’s face, and he didn’t know what the guy was referring to exactly which must’ve showed, because some sort of change came over the guy as he was paying close attention. Naruto sighed heavily.

He wiped Sasuke’s chin, running the pad of his thumb along his bottom lip.

“God,” he said. “I’m sorry.” Planting his mouth down on Sasuke’s, he pushed his tongue inside and cleaned him out. Sasuke purred at the treatment, until the guy pulled back again.

He hooked his finger in Sasuke’s collar, looking inside quickly. He was then, with a tight face, unbuttoning Sasuke’s coat and opening it. Then he wiped his hand along Sasuke’s throat, reaching inside his shirt and wiping his chest too. Sasuke shivered, his lips parting. Naruto saw, and gave him a serious look. He pulled his jeans up, zipped and buckled them, redressed himself and wiped his hands on his thighs. He treated Sasuke to the same amendment.

“I don’t even wanna think about whatchur old man would say if he saw you like this—jesus,” he said quietly. Sasuke felt beautiful. He cocked his head to the side and smiled. “How’d you get so good at that anyway? Yer gonna make me jealous, ya know. . !” Naruto mumbled this, and Sasuke felt happiness jump in his stomach.

He could make Naruto jealous?

Fuck-buddies aren’t typically against ‘inclusion’, are they? If he were jealous, then surely he was also possesssive--he wanted Sasuke to himself, didn't he?

Should he tell Naruto the truth in that case? He would love to see the look on his face when he learnt Sasuke already was all his, had been all his from the start. Sasuke wanted to see what Naruto would look like when he learnt that he was the only person on Earth who’d ever even gotten close to fucking him.

“Don’t be. . !” he breathed, the secret ecstatic on the tip of his tongue. “You—” But if Naruto found out that Sasuke had been a virgin last night, he’d be angry, wouldn't he? That's what he'd implied: he didn't want to do it, if it was with someone unexperienced. A part of him would be happy, Sasuke wagered, but he’d still been lied to and that would seem most important. The guy was so touchy.

Curious, blue eyes flickered across Sasuke’s face, waiting.

“—You’re special,” Sasuke said. Naruto’s lips parted in shock, and he looked away. “That’s all. I just want to make it good for you.”

“I wanna make it good for you too!” he then gushed. He was messing up his hair further, and looked attractively tussled. Sasuke smirked. “Yer kinda—taking me by storm here! I don’t really—I’m not in the habit of fucking dudes by the canal or—vandalizing the city, ya know. . !”

“I’m not just any other dude, I hope.” Sasuke laced his words with demand. That Snapshit-bitch floated to the surface of his mind, and he had to bite back a snarl.

“No, of course not!” interjected Naruto. “Yer my friend; yer not just anyone! I care 'bout chu and whatchur thinking and whatchur feeling. . ! Sex withchu is not—just _anything_. . !” Sasuke shuddered with the need to make Naruto hurt him, and that need was getting stronger. He pressed close to the blonde’s body, scratching at his chest at peering intently at him. Sasuke knew that it was obvious what he was thinking, and real soon Naruto’s eyebrows shot high. His hands took Sasuke’s hips.

“Oh!” he gasped. “Oh, right! Shit, I’m the worst!” Looking about again, he firstly tried to see if anyone were coming, then he switched positions with Sasuke. “Ya know, if we get caught like this, I’ll jump into the canal, swear to god. . !” Sasuke chuckled for a response, leering down at him and bracing against the wall.

*

Having hurried back, they were at Naruto’s place again. Outside the window was a blizzard.

They were both on the couch, naked, and Sasuke was on Naruto’s lap. They were kissing, and Sasuke was bearing down on Naruto's dick with zeal. He tensed his body and groaned. Naruto hissed, pulling him downwards additionally.

“You like that?” Sasuke asked, biting the guy’s ear. Naruto withheld a noise. Sweat coursed down their bodies, catching the light of the TV.

“Y-yeah. . !” he said.

"Yeah?" While he was distracted, Sasuke reached inside the pocket of Naruto’s discarded jacket that lay moist beside them. Their shoes were, like the jacket, not in their proper place: they had hurried too much. He took out Naruto's phone and opened Snapshit, rocking his hips strongly and making the guy whimper. He really should start locking his phone.

Sasuke held it up behind Naruto’s back, looking right at the camera and hitting ‘record’. He tightened with excitement, and Naruto’s voice rang out.

“_Ah_! Fuck. . !” He grabbed Sasuke, kissed his neck, bit it and urged him to fuck him harder.

“Tell me how much you like it. . !” Sasuke said, his voice quivering. He smiled sadistically into the camera. He and Naruto were clearly visible on the screen, and there was no way in hell anyone would mistake what they were doing for anything.

“I love it. . !”

“You love my ass, Naruto?”

“_Uhn_. . ! I really do. . !”

“Are you coming, daddy?”

“_Mmff_. . !” Sasuke tossed his head, flipping the bangs out of his eyes and moaned sinfully. He bounced up and down, repeating Naruto’s name.

“Naruto. . ! Naruto. . !”

“Shit! Yer so—!fucking sexy! _A-aah_!" You could see it when Naruto came; his entire body shivered as he curved forward. You could see the goosebumps on his skin. Sasuke grinned at the camera. Serves Boobarella right, he thought, for moving on his man.

*

After that Sasuke had been taken home by Naruto, he'd climbed into his room a heart-eyed fool and fallen blissfully asleep. He'd spent Sunday resting whilst pretending not to, just lounging in his room, but hadn't fooled his father. Sasuke knew this, of course, and was deeply concerned--but it was because of his infatuation that he kept up the dangerous play even so. While Sasuke was at school on Monday, Fugaku searched his room.

He’d waited patiently. Knowing that he couldn’t allow his son suspecting that he’d been found out, Fugaku had toiled to hide his frustration. Every time the boy had turned his back, he’d wanted to reach out and strangle the ungrateful pest.

The weekend had seemed endless, but once it was finally over Fugaku wasted no time in turning his son’s room upside down.

The sheets of the bed went flying as he tore them up. They flapped in the air like white sails before collapsing on top of Sasuke’s broken belongings.

His secret books had been found, alright. They lay scattered, leaf by leaf, all over the floor. Fugaku had initially thought the books to be solely behind the big conspiracy. He’d expressly forbidden the authors, and Sasuke had never gone against a direction before, so. . . But he’d been wrong to assume. Because the books themselves had only led to Sasuke’s lunacy: he’d filled his head with Dumas (romantic drivel), Dostoyevsky (anti-authoritarian poison), Melville (psychotic non-sense!) and worst of all—Voltaire, the women’s author. Every ingredient necessary to turn his son from man into sentimentalist half-breed had been kept hidden in his bedroom!

Fugaku himself liked historical, evidence-based novels. He liked Napoleon, but didn’t see the irony in holding ‘plebeians’ in contempt at the same time.

Lastly, under the mattress was found the grounding boot itself which had sometime been imprinted on Fugaku’s flag—that thing which the books had led to.

He stilled and stared, his hair on end. Brushing it back he bent forward, and with shaking, crooked fingers gripped a black hoodie he’d not bought for his son but that was undeniably still _there_—and hidden in his bed. It was worn, and too large for Sasuke.

Fugaku was a fool for not seeing that he didn’t have a son; he had a daughter. The figure in the car. . . Of course.

“AHG!” With a shout, Fugaku tore the article seam from seam until it wouldn’t rip anymore. He threw it down on the bare mattress, and went to get hammer and nails.

Storming back into the room shortly thereafter he attacked the bay window, and nailed the three windows to the frame. Ugly, furious dents surrounded the black nail heads. Fugaku at first left the hammer on the sill, then he thought better of it. Sasuke couldn’t be let another opportunity to make an escape.

When he got home today he was being punished. Then, he was going to Uncle Tobi.

*

At 16:15 Sakura was getting off work. She said goodbye to her coworkers and walked out the door, taking her phone from her purse.

There were no missed calls, but one unread message. She felt her stomach turn, bracing herself to read it.

_‘Heya babe! Just wanted to wish you a great day at work! What do you say about Chinese for leftovers tomorrow? I don’t want to cook since you’ll be with your friend tonight. Love you!’_

Sakura huffed and smiled, then she typed Kiba a reply.

_‘Chinese sounds great. My day was great too. Can’t wait to tell you about it tonight! I love you too <3’_

The weather was clear, but the sun was going down. The snow on the ground sparkled in the red glow and she felt happy, walking to her brand new car that Kiba had helped her buy. She loved it so much. Sucking on that new-car smell, she lingered on how it was nothing like how Naruto’s piece of junk had been. Her life was moving on, at long last.

Sakura hummed a song, backing out of the parking lot.

She was on her way to Hinata’s place, joining the rush hour traffic in the middle of town. Sakura estimated she would be there in twenty minutes, since Hinata (that bitch) had a penthouse apartment real close by.

She'd messaged Sakura during lunch that day, asking if she wanted to come over for dinner and to catch up a little bit. Luckily, Sakura didn’t have anything on her schedule which would’ve prevented her from taking her friend up on the spontaneous invitation.

Sakura caressed her swollen stomach, and breezed forward when the green light signaled her.

*

Sasuke was crossing the threshold. He was one foot in, and the other out of his house. When he closed the door he leaned his forehead on it briefly, smiling to himself. Naruto had been sweet today. They'd exchanged heated looks, and tender ones. He'd made the guy blush and wanted to celebrate to himself. But that was when his father cleared his throat behind him.

Sasuke whipped around, his breath caught.

“_What’s the matter, son?_” Fugaku asked him. “_You look absolutely petrified._” Sasuke felt it in his gut. There's no fooling a beaten child: they smell tension on the air. Everything upsets an angry person with no qualms about hurting you. That’s why Sasuke had indeed turned to stone, trying to make sure he wouldn’t do anything aggravating.

“_Nothing’s wrong, father_,” he said quietly, staring, his back to the door and shoes still on.

“_Are you sure about that?_” Fugaku took a step closer, and Sasuke’s nostrils flared. “_You’re not lying to me?_”

“_N-no, I never lie to you, father. I wouldn’t._” Sasuke’s father sucked his teeth a moment, not breaking eye contact at all. He was to Sasuke in this moment, as undefeatable as if he had been a bear.

“_You never lie—not to me. We’ve talked about lying, how sometimes it’s necessary. But family members never lie to each other. I know you know the disloyalty that entails._” Sasuke’s heart was beating hard now. Did he know? Did his father somehow know he’d been lying? How? Had he heard him, seen him leave or come back when he’d been so careful not to let it happen?

“_I know_.”

“_Yes, that’s why I said it. . !_” Fugaku stressed, a little louder than before. He stuck his nose in the air and straightened his jacket, as boastful as anyone kidding themselves. He did that, whenever he felt particularly superior.

Sasuke was quiet.

“_Go get changed. Dinner is set out._”

“_Yes, father._” Sasuke bowed, then collapsed to untie his shoes. He took them off, head low, and put them in the closet. Then he went upstairs. Fugaku stayed on the ground floor, looking up at him from the first step and terrifying his son.

When Sasuke got to his room, he understood what was happening.

The catastrophic mess beyond the open door, like a gouged out cavity that the pages of his novels bled out of into the hallway was bad enough for Sasuke to die. But Naruto’s hoodie on the mattress was a bullet in his brain.

He forgot everything.

Lunging forward, he clawed up the hoodie and hid it in his arms. He wasn’t able to comply with it already being too late. Sobbing once, he looked over his shoulder. No one was there.

The hoodie had been torn apart. Sasuke had slept with it for all of three nights. Had he known last night would be the last, he would’ve held it tighter--and ain't that just the way it goes. He had hoped to be able to keep it the rest of his life. Much more than he’d dared to hope for Naruto himself, Sasuke had clung to the very memory of him that was made tangible by his hoodie—and now his father had destroyed it.

Sasuke was more afraid than he’d ever been. His father understood why he’d kept a worn men’s hoodie hidden in his bed.

Now, he was scared to death.

Sasuke looked at his window, thinking of escape but crying out in horrified surprise. The window had been nailed shut. He went there anyway, and tried to pry his fingernails under the frame of each window by turn—finding it useless.

Still clutching the shreds of Naruto’s hoodie, he looked at the open doorway and knew he had no choice; he had to get out of the house, and escape.

“_Sasuke_!” bellowed his father’s voice from downstairs. He knew Sasuke had seen, and that he was stalling.

Sasuke jerked backwards so hard he bumped into some furniture, making it rattle and wobble in place. Fugaku’s heavy footsteps were now coming up the stairs. He was evidently in a hurry getting to Sasuke’s bedroom, and every time he stomped his feet down it was like another nail in the window that hammered on par with the beating in Sasuke’s chest.

“No. . !” he gasped, touching the wallpaper.

Fugaku appeared, red in the face. His jacket was gone and his sleeves were rolled up.

“_NO! PLEASE!_” Sasuke panicked. He let go of Naruto’s hoodie and stepped on it, trying to get away. Hunched over and with his arms up, he begged of his father: “_Please, don’t hurt me! I’ll never lie again! I’ll do whatever you say! I’ll never see him again! I’ll be perfect from now on!_” His father fell upon him, and Sasuke screamed when the grip he could no longer avoid crushed him into the wall.

“_QUIET_!” Fugaku howled, slapping Sasuke across the face. He pointed at him, his digit so close to Sasuke’s eye that he was almost touching it. “_YOU’VE HUMILIATED ME!_” He slapped him again. Sasuke couldn’t help his voice from coming out. He kicked his feet and somehow tore free. “_DON’T RUN AWAY FROM ME!_” Fugaku raked for his son, but was left with only his coat as Sasuke wrung out of it, gulping as they both fell down.

Sasuke was quickly back on his feet. His voice bounded off the walls as he tore through the hallway, down the stairs and again when he collided with the front door.

“_SASUKE_!” Hysterical, he looked behind himself with tears running. He tugged and tugged on the lock of the door, not understanding why it wasn’t opening, too wound up to realize he was turning it the wrong way.

Fugaku’s voice approaching was like the roaring of a monster, and it conjured Sasuke’s maximum output in strength and speed.

He flipped the lock and wrenched the door open, breaking the mirror inside the hall as it was thrown into it. Then he was running.

In just his socks, he was running down the hill of his house, slipping on the snow before sprinting down the street. He didn’t feel any pain, didn’t register how fast the neighborhood was passing him by, same as he didn’t think about the cold. All he could think was ‘run to Naruto’.

*

Wheezing for air, Sasuke threw himself around the corner of some tall hedges. Peering back around at where he’d come from, he searched his pockets and found his phone. He got it out and called for help. For every dial tone he heard, he sobbed. Every one of them was an attempted escape that failed.

But the call did connect eventually.

“N-Naruto!” Sasuke cried. “Help me!” There was the sound of scuffling before Naruto’s voice came through on the other end.

_“What’s happened?”_ he asked.

“He’s trying to kill me! Please, you have to come get me! Please! Ple-he-he-hease!” Sasuke covered his face and pushed himself into the hedge at his back, hiding there. Naruto can’t come. He can’t come. He can’t—

_“Of course I’ll come get you! Where are you!?” _Sasuke sobbed uncontrollably with relief when he heard this. Naruto sounded horrified. _“Sasuke, are you hurt?”_

“I don’t know!”

_“Where are you? Tell me where you are!”_

“I’m on—some—street!—I—ran—as fast—as I could!”

_“Good! You did good to run away! What's the street look like? Is it near yur house?”_

“It’s—_uuh_!—it’s—kyuusai street—I can see the road downhill. . !”

_“Kyuusai. Okay. I’ll find you. Just—are you safe where you are, Sasuke?”_

“I’m in the bushes. . ! I don't _know_. . !”

_“Okay, here’s whatchur gonna do: yer gonna stay where you are, yer gonna hang up the phone and then yer gonna call 911.”_

“NO! No, please! Don’t hang up! Don’t hang up, Naruto!!”

_“You--! (sigh) Fine! Okay, stay on the phone with me! I’m almost there! Listen, if you hear a car, see if you can check if it’s me! Just wait a little longer!”_

“Okay! Okay. . ! Okay. . !” Sasuke squatted down, holding his knees and listening to the noises coming from his phone. He heard Naruto get in his car and slam the door. He heard the engine. He heard the blinkers and the gas and he prayed to god Fugaku wouldn’t suddenly appear. “Please. . ! Please. . ! Please. . !”

_“It’s alright, Sasuke. Almost there. . !”_

*

Naruto’s shitty Chevrolet Cruze hit the brakes right in front of him. Whether owing to dumb luck or Naruto’s sixth sense, Sasuke didn’t care. He felt panicked again before realizing who it was, then like he’d been pulled from the brink of death.

The driver’s side door opened, and before the orange sneaker he knew would be there had time to set itself down in the snow, Sasuke had flown into the street and strung himself around Naruto’s neck.

He squeezed him with all his strength.

“Jesus. . !” Naruto exclaimed, catching his balance. “Look at me, Sasuke! I have to geta good look atchu. . !” Sasuke was made to look him in the face, Naruto had taken his chin in his hand. Sasuke was inconsolable; he couldn’t stop crying, overwhelmed as he was by the sudden terror and then the rescue.

Naruto looked for a while, then he embraced Sasuke, allowing him to cry.

He was here. He’d come. He’d really come, and Sasuke didn’t want to let go of him ever again. His tears soaked into Naruto’s collar.

Soon, he spoke gently into Sasuke’s ear:

“Yer freezing,” he said. “C’mon, get in the car and let’s get outa here.” Sasuke was hanging from Naruto’s neck, and therefore had little to do with the backdoor of the car opening or himself being ushered inside. His fingers were stuck in his savior’s faux leather jacket. Naruto made a grimace and urged Sasuke to hop backwards on the seats, which he obliged. Naruto then followed, sitting down next to him and pulling the door closed. He wrapped Sasuke up in a cotton blanket that had been laying around, and it made him feel loved.

Sasuke hadn’t realized until now how cold he’d actually been; he was shivering violently.

Scooting closer, Sasuke pressed himself into the glorious warmth that was Naruto’s embrace. He was welcomed without the slightest fumble, and truly grateful. Staying like this awhile, he was beginning to calm down and notice things, first of which was pain. He hissed as it gradually appeared all over him.

“Yer okay now,” Naruto’s voice sounded. “Yer okay, buddy.”

Sasuke’s hands hurt, and he looked down at them. A jolt shot through his gut when he saw.

Naruto answered this change in him by stroking his hair. He’d seen already.

There was blood. Quite a lot of blood covered Sasuke’s hands; his sleeves were stained with it. But where was it coming from? Everything was beginning to sting; it got worse and worse. Sasuke pulled his sleeves up carefully, noticing the peculiar pattern that the blood was making.

It was his own blood, he understood. In his palms, there were ridges and welts of cuts that continued up his arms. They were from fingernails. He’d been scratched, in some places relatively deeply. Dark, dried blood dotted these places. His forearms were bruised from how hard he’d been held and jostled. His index finger was throbbing: the nail had been torn from the bed.

Sasuke pulled free from Naruto and leaned over the passenger seat. Flipping down the corresponding mirror, he gaped at himself.

He saw more cuts, all over and across his throat and clavicle. His collar was stretched out. The side of his face was red, and his eye on that side was bloodshot. He noticed his feet when he tried to sit back down again.

With a cry, he more or less fell against the backrest.

“_Easy_. . !” Naruto exclaimed. Sasuke forgot him, and lifted up his feet. He’d stepped in glass. His socks were wet with snow, blood and dirt. Maybe the glass had come from the mirror in the hall, maybe from the bushes or from the road; nevertheless, his feet were cut and they hurt.

Naruto leaned forward next to him. He wanted to do something, but Sasuke didn’t want him to, so he gestured for him to stop. Naruto obeyed, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

“I’ll be okay,” Sasuke whispered. He pulled the blanket tighter around himself, and put his feet down as carefully as he could. They really hurt like hell.

“Is this what it’s been like?” Naruto asked him. Sasuke thought about it, and wiped his cheeks dry. “Hey, stay with me. . !” The guy was touching him. Sasuke raised his head and nodded. “How’ve you been able to take it?”

“I haven’t.”

“. . .So, what was different this time? That made chu decide'a run.” Sasuke hesitated. He was retreating into himself, like he always did after a beating. But he didn’t want to be. He wanted to talk to Naruto—if only the guy wouldn’t ask difficult questions. “Sasuke. What happened. . ?” His voice sounded like he truly cared, and Sasuke wanted to believe!

“He—found out I’d been lying and—sneaking out at night.”

“How?” Naruto came closer again, and started rubbing Sasuke’s back. It made him press his eyes shut. “It’s okay.”

“He must’ve seen me, and—”

“And?”

“_He found it_.” Because he wanted to believe, and because he was hurting so much, Sasuke admitted this, risking Naruto's anger and rejection.

“What'd he find?” There it was. Now, he had to tell him. Sasuke bit his lip, and his worry was only worsened the more obvious Naruto made his concern. “Hey. . .” He graduated from Sasuke’s back to his head.

“Your shirt,” Sasuke answered, leaning into the comfort of that hand, chasing it. Then he said it more clearly. “_It was in my bed_.” It didn’t take long after that. The hand stilled, then it disappeared.

Sasuke knew that he deserved it. He was a liar, after all.

His answer to all of Naruto’s kindness had been to manipulate him, and break the one rule he’d set--Sasuke understood, right now, that that had been wrong. He'd thought it was a stupid rule, and nothing stupid was going to stop him from getting what he wanted—but now, feeling as helpless as he did, he didn't agree with himself. He was to blame, he thought. But, to his own defence, Naruto couldn’t honestly think that Sasuke would act the way he did if he weren't in love with him, could he?

“Did you hear me?” he asked, quietly. Naruto cleared his throat, and Sasuke felt his hand reappear on his back. This stunned him. Why? What kind of face was Naruto making? What was he thinking? Sasuke needed to know, and looked to see if he could figure it out.

Naruto was looking out the window, gaping a little bit.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “It was in yur bed.”

“I’m _sorry_. . !” Sasuke pressed. The hand gave him hope, and he wanted to confess and be forgiven. “I know I said things would just be casual and all, but—”

“I get it, Sasuke. You don’t have to say it.”

“No, I’m really sorry. . ! You’re just—to me, you’re—”

“It’s okay.” Naruto was contemplating things so seriously he looked to be daydreaming.

“_You’re everything to me. . !_” This got a reaction out. Naruto twitched, then he rubbed his forehead. His hand moved up, started massaging Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke shifted, and felt it—the gun.

He froze. He had forgotten it; he had forgotten, even though he could feel the pressure on his tailbone, on the small of his back; he still had it; he never put it down.

Pulse skyrocketing, Sasuke wondered if his father had seen it, if Naruto had seen it. Neither of them must ever see it, or they’d take it away from him. It was his only means of protecting himself, if Naruto wouldn’t, so he had to keep hiding it from them.

By now, it was almost dark out.

“It’s about to snow,” Sasuke’s hero mumbled suddenly, looking up at the sky. He looked too.

“If it gets any worse than this,” he said. “We won’t be able to get around.” They were quiet another moment. Then Naruto took a deep breath, and seemed done with thinking. He announced:

“I’ll drive carefully,” leaning over Sasuke, and buckling him in. Sasuke felt like a child. He shot one of his broken hands out and lodged it in Naruto’s lapel. The guy stayed where he was. When Sasuke, at length, didn’t let go, he covered his hand with his own.

“I’m sorry,” Sasuke said.

“It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“I couldn’t help it. . !”

“It’s notchur fault, Sasuke.” Naruto was looking him in the eye now, and Sasuke’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Can’t I just—please, live with you?” It took the last of his dignity to ask this. Naruto didn’t seem surprised to hear it. But he didn’t tell Sasuke what he wanted to hear either, he just hung his head and said:

“Everything’s gonna be okay.” Sasuke’s hand slackened, and Naruto slipped away. Then he climbed out of the backseat, got into the driver’s and started the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was weird waking up and posting this first thing. I'd forgotten about it. But there's a note at the top, so you guys didn't have to drink your morning coffee with a face-full of porn--unless you're in to that, in which case. . . You know, I guess you did.
> 
> It's fun to see you reading this story, I have to say; it's always a good moment in my day when I'm checking work emails and seeing kudos dropping in, so thanks for that. Have a good one :)


	10. Would if I Could, but a Tryhard Can't

He was pulling out onto the highway. Sasuke was in his backseat, bundled up like a little package. Naruto thought that he’d never looked younger, stealing galances at him through the rearview mirror.

“We’re gonna have to get some shopping done if you’ll be staying a few days,” he told him, hoping Sasuke wouldn’t push things. He was looking at him from back there, and those big, black eyes nearly killed him.

“Please,” the kid begged. ”Let me stay forever—at least for now.”

“_’Forever for now’_.” Naruto turned on the blinkers and switched lanes. “Sure. You can stay forever for now.” His heart bled for the kid, really, it did, but it wasn’t like he could adopt him. He’d decided from the start that that was one thing he’d never do. He’d decided it! Sasuke was going to have to find some other place to run to--not to him, god, not to him.

To make matters worse, now Sasuke had fallen in love with him, too. At least the kid had told him right away; for that he was grateful. It wasn’t Sasuke’s fault: their relationship was just too complicated for him. But Naruto could handle it, and would watch himself from now on. He had to do better.

“You alright back there?” he asked.

“Let me stay with you. _I don’t want to go back_. . !” Naruto took a deep breath. Kid was traumatized.

Naruto’s phone had been blowing up for the last hour, and he’d been ignoring it. Now, it was ringing again. Whoever was calling was relentless about getting in touch with him, calling like three times in a row per attempt. Wasn’t he allowed to be busy? The phone calls were making his skin crawl.

Gripping the steering wheel hard, he tried to contain his curses and dug through his jacket for the shitting device.

He got it out, and spun it the right way around in his hand. He alternated looking at it and the highway. The calls were coming from Sakura. As if things couldn’t get fucked enough.

“Outa all the times to get in touch—. . ! Hello?”

“_You’re finally answering your phone!_” Hearing her voice was weird. Sasuke stirred in the backseat. Naruto waved to him, flexing the fingers he had on the wheel.

“It’s okay,” he mouthed. Then he was back to business with his ex. “Yeah?”

“_I’ve been trying to get in touch with you all day! You haven’t even opened my messages! Honestly, what’s your problem?_” Naruto laughed. Sakura was nuts. She’d always been nuts when it came to availability. That she actually checked if people were reading her messages was invasive and insane—that she had the option to, in the first place, was disturbing.

“What’s my problem? You serious?”

“_Just because we broke up, it doesn’t mean you don’t have to answer me when I try to talk to you._”

“_Uh_—but, yeah, that’s exactly what it means! I don’t have to talk to you or anyone I don’t feel like!”

“_(sigh) God, I’d almost forgotten what an asshole you are._”

“(scoff) I’m not an asshole just cuz I don’t subscribe to that fucking social media psychosis you'n'yur friends are all such big fans of! If you wanna reach me, then leave a message and I’ll get to you when I’m good and ready—”

“_Alright!—_"

“—I’m not atchur fucking beck and call, ya know! I don’t know where you got the idea—people’re supposed to just drop everything, and cater to _you_ by writing messages and shit twenty-four-seven!”

“_Naruto! I don’t care anymore! That’s not why I’m calling! Are you gay?_”

“What!?” he hissed into the receiver.

“_You heard me_.”

“What kinda bullshit question izat? How’s it even any of yur business what I am?”

“_I think that if you are gay, then it’s one hundred percent my business because we were together for so long, and I’ve a right to know who I was sharing my life with._”

“You—have you lost chur fucking mind? You don’t have the right—. . .”

“_Stop swearing at me, Naruto. You know you don’t scare me anymore_.”

“Anymore!? Yer still on that!? What did I ever do to scare you, Sakura!? I was nothing but good to you!” He was speeding up down the highway, hardly even thinking about it. “I did everything for you! You think I woulda done half the shit I did, if it wasn’t for yur sake!? I don’t care if the place looks like hell, or I’m eating nothing but macaroni two weeks in a row! _You_ do! You were the one who cared about shit like that! I never _hurt_chu! I never threatened you! I fucking crawled on my hands and knees for you, god damnit!”

“_If that’s how you think it was, then suit yourself. You weren’t easy to live with_.”

“Oh, _psh_! Give it a break! Yer the one who stopped talking to me and started handing out a buncha orders instead all the time! Because I was an idiot I did everything you asked, thinking it would fix things and make you wanna talk to me again!”

“_It’s over, Naruto. I’m with someone else_.”

“I _know_ it’s over! You think I wantchu back!? Over my dead fucking body! I’m finally feeling like my own person again! You gave me nothing left for myself, and took everything I had!”

“_That’s funny cuz I feel like you’re the one who did that!_”

“What do you—what do you mean—yer with someone else already?”

“Ha_! Don’t you—dare—try and judge me, Naruto! At least my boyfriend isn’t a _fucking teenager!_ What the hell is wrong with you?_”

“Oh, bite me; it’s none of yur business! Who’s this boyfriend of yurs you couldn’t wait to hook up with?”

“_None of my business? It’s none of _your_ business either! You don’t own me_!”

“Fucking—! I know—I don’t own you! I don’t wanna own you, and I never have! I just think it’s a little bit funny how the dust’s not even settled yet, and yer shacking up with another guy!”

“_Just like you, you mean_.”

“I’m not _shacking up_ withim! You don’t know a god damned thing about him, Sakura! I know you think you know everything about everyone, but you really don’t! Get that through yur head already and grow up!”

“_I do know. He isn’t exactly a private person, Naruto; his dad is an important politician! Knowing you, you’re pro’ly the only person who wouldn’t recognize him!” _

“Yeah, cuz I’m not a freaky stalker. . !”

_“Stalker. . ! __Hinata said you two were dating_.”

“And what the fuck does Hinata know about anything!? I haven’t even talked to her! She’s _yur_ friend, remember, not mine!”

“_She said you snapped her a video of you two—fucking_.”

“What!? That’s insane! Why would I do that!?”

“_So, you don’t deny it! You’re actually fucking guys now!?”_

“And what’re you, some kinda homophobe!? None of yur business!”

“_Well, if you didn’t send it, maybe he did_.”

“Sasuke wouldn’t hijack my phone and use it to send creepy videos to _Hinata_! Why would he—” Naruto interrupted himself. Why might Sasuke do that? Because he was in love with Naruto, and was jealous of Hinata.

He gave Sasuke a sidelong glance through the rearview mirror. The kid had gone rigid. He was pulling the blanket up over his mouth.

“_One of you sent it in any case! And it’s not cool! You think anyone would want to look at you!? It’s perverse_!”

“Like anyone would wanna see her tit-pics then, right!?”

“_Naruto, do _not_—slut-shame my friend! Alright? How women dress has nothing to do with you, whether you can believe it or not. I never thought you’d be like that_.”

“What the hell!?” Naruto laughed in disbelief. Oh, of course. Since he was a guy, he had to be a sexist piece of shit—sure. “I’m not _slut-shaming_—whatever! She’s been totally coming on to me, ya know! Since _before_ we broke up! Some friend you have, man!”

“Hm_! You’re one to talk_.”

“You just love saying that, dontchu? What does it even mean? Yer saying I been hitting on yur friends when we were together?”

“_No_.”

“Yeah! Didn’t think so! Cuz I’m not a fucking cheater, alright!?—”

_“I’m saying: you were gay this whole time, and didn’t tell me!”_

“—I didn’t have sex for a fucking year when I was witchu! You think that’s easy for me!? I’m not like you; it’s a real need to me, alright!? Just cuz you didn’t want it, you had no right to hold my god damn sexuality hostage and turn me into some kinda monk!”

“_I held your sexuality hostage!? Are you a complete idiot!? I wouldn’t have cared if you slept with Hinata or anyone else for that matter! Do whatever the hell you want; it’s not my business anymore_!”

“You wun’ve _cared_!? What is that!? I was yur boyfriend, and yer telling me you wun’ve cared if I fucked around with other people!?”

“_No, I really wouldn’t have, Naruto_.”

“Well, shit! If only I’d known that back then, ya know! Feel like I coulda saved myself a bunch of grief and frustration! So, what? You saying you cheated on me, then?” Naruto smiled, shimmying in his seat. He was just kidding, for rhetoric’s sake.

“_I wasn’t cheating on you. Our relationship was over long before I ended it.” _This weird response shocked him. He didn’t say anything._ “And fuck you for forcing me to do that, by the way! I always had to be the strong one, and make stuff happen while you just let things sit and rot!_”

“You—cheated—on—me?” He could barely get the words out. The steering wheel whined in his tightening grip.

“_No, I didn’t! We were already broken up before it was officially over_.”

“No, we weren’t.”

_“Yes, we were.”_

“No, we—fucking—_weren’t!_ That’s not how shit works!” He lost his marbles. Naruto got so angry he couldn’t think straight, and his voice was deafeningly loud as he yelled it out. “You break up with someone and _then_ you jump into random people’s beds! Not before! You fucking cheated on me!? After all the shit I put myself through, trying to make it work!? You fucking bitch!”

“(gasp) _I can’t believe you just said that to me_—”

“And I can’t believe you’ve been playing cum dumpster with the neighborhood, while pretending you were fucking asexual!” He was bouncing in his seat.

“_How dare you talk that way to me!? What the fuck has gotten into you!? You’re like a different person, Naruto_!”

“WHO WAS IT!?”

“_Naruto_—”

“Was it one of my friends!? It was, wun it—considering whatchu said!”

“_I’m not going to tell you_ _because it isn’t any of your business_!”

“Fine! Don’t then! I’m going to Hinata’s house, and letting_ her_ tell me! Since she knows all about both of our lives!”

“_What the fuck_!?”

“I’ll use all of my _persuasive skills_ that she’s been wanting! Fuck it! I ain’t above that!”

“_Stay the hell away from my friend_!”

“Oh, that’s real cute!” Naruto put the phone’s receiver right up to his mouth and bellowed: “YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK, BITCH!” Then he hung up. Scrolling furiously through his list of contacts first, he then put the phone back to his ear. “Hinata!” he shouted when the call connected. “Who’s Sakura dating!?”

“_Oh—uh—hi, Naruto_!” That absolute, actual bitch.

“She’s there, isn’t she?” he hissed. “You guys are just the fucking wo—put her on!” Sakura’s voice spoke again, this time through Hinata’s phone.

“_Naruto. Let’s talk about this like adults_.”

“Which one is it?”

“_You really shouldn’t judge me. You’re the one who’s been gay this whole time, acting like you loved me! And now you’re rebounding with a fucking _child_! Like, are you kidding!_?”

“WHO—IS IT!?”

“_Kiba! It’s Kiba, alright!? Are you happy now!? Big shocker, isn’t it!? We’ve been living together since we broke up because _he_ was always there for me! He _actually_ loves me! And—we’re going to be starting a family in a few months—_”

“What-the-fuck. . !? Fucking Kiba. . !? _Kiba_!? Outa all my so-called friends you had to choose from, you had to go for _Kiba_!? And yer having his baby now!? Did you just break it off with me cuz you got pregnant!? Is that it!? Were you scared I’d notice eventually!? That I’d _hurt_chu or some stupid bullshit like that!?

Tell you what: Stay—outa my life! Don’t ever call me or try to contact me or I swear to god, Sakura, you’ll have a real reason to be afraid of me, you _fucking whore_!”

He hung up, and stuck his phone under his thigh. Glaring at the rearview mirror, he stepped on the brakes while shifting gears. Both he and Sasuke were pushed forward in their seats. Sasuke must’ve been clinging to the handle of his door, but Naruto didn’t care.

Before the car had slowed down enough for it to safely turn, Naruto spun the wheel to the left and jerked rightwards in his seat. He was cursing quietly to himself.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. . !” Willing the car not to topple, he felt the wheels begin to lose traction and his side almost lifting up. Wild blaring from other cars berated him as he turned around in the middle of the highway, doing a U-turn into the opposite lane. A black Volvo skidded to a halt in order not to hit him.

Naruto stepped his foot down with more strength than was necessary. The car started going forward, and he was pushed into his seat. He shifted gears at a steady, furious pace, the car increasing in speed and the engine soon roaring as he turned into the side of the road, going 140 km/h and passing every other car.

Snow and dirt was flying behind him, raining down on his proximity.

Naruto felt Sasuke’s stare, and couldn’t begin to give a crap about it. In the face of his rage, the kid was nothing to him.

*

They arrived at Kiba’s apartment complex, and tore into the underground parking lot.

Naruto shut off the engine and threw open his door, bounding outside. He slammed it and made for the elevator. Sasuke was following quickly. The car beeped when Naruto locked it.

Sasuke had brought the blanket, and he was wearing it like some kind of poncho. For every step he took, he visibly winced with pain. It made Naruto feel bad (something he hated) and he tried to show the kid he didn’t want him anywhere near him right now. Receding from the elevator doors as they began to close, he gave him a look.

But Sasuke hurried. Naruto shook his head and crossed his arms. The kid was too fast, and too stupid to know what was good for him.

Rushing forwards, Sasuke managed to catch the doors at the last second. He opened them and stepped inside the elevator, an uncertain attitude all about him.

Naruto rejected every sense of responsibility, thinking: The kid can do whatever he wants, then. He took a step forward and mashed the button for the fifth floor, cursing.

“Just stay outa my way, Sasuke,” he mumbled.

“You won’t even know I’m here,” answered he.

When they landed, Naruto put his hands to the elevator doors and pushed them open angrily; they slammed into the frame, and the entire installation echoed with it. Sasuke ducked his head, coming along down the hall.

They came to a door, not Kiba’s, and Naruto’s knocking on it was deceitfully soft.

It opened, and a cute college girl appeared. She was young and easily manipulated, something Naruto hadn’t failed to appreciate. The girl took one look at him and began to smile.

“Hey!” she chirped.

“Hi!” Naruto was kissing ass straight away. “I’m sorry to bother you this late, but I was supposed to see Kiba—guy right next to you—and he told me to let myself in, but seems to have locked his door—forgetting all about me, ya know.” He laughed in good nature. “Pro'ly fell asleep or something. You still have that spare key, dontchu?”

“The spare? Yeah, I have it. Did you try knocking?” He dug in to hide the annoyance he felt at this no-good question.

“_Yeah_. . !” he choked. “I tried knocking. Could chu help me out?”

“_Um_, sure!” The girl snorted, and got her keys from someplace. Then she stepped into the hall, and walked over to Kiba’s door. People try so hard to be of help. Naruto was right behind her.

“Hello,” she told Sasuke. Smiling at Naruto again, she fiddled with her keychain before the lock. “Friend of yours?”

“Yeah. He’s gota cold. Say ‘hi’, man.”

“Hi. . !” Sasuke raised his hand in greeting.

Kiba’s door unlocked, and Naruto felt adrenaline firing up his entire system. Grumbling a stiff ‘thanks’, he grabbed Sasuke and the door, then slipped inside, locking it behind himself.

*

“Stay back. . !” Naruto pressed Sasuke to the front door by a hand on his chest, then advanced.

Kiba was just inside, having heard too late what was going on in the hall, and now he was backing into the kitchen not two meters ahead of Naruto. The sight of him filled Naruto with hate.

Kiba was on the phone, with Sakura probably.

“Naruto! How the hell’d chu get in!? _He’s in the apartment—stay away_!” He hung up, and put the phone in his pocket. Then he did a double-take on Sasuke by the door. “Jesus Christ!” he exclaimed. “What are you, twelve?” Kiba was wearing a white tank top and grey sweatpants, obviously having been home all day. Naruto stormed towards him, practically snarling. “Wait a second!” Kiba said, hands up and focused on him again.

Naruto didn’t wait. He rounded the kitchen island that his friend was trying to keep between them, and punched him square in the jaw. Kiba’s whole body jerked. He took a step back.

“Wait! Wait!” he called. “Just lemme explain!”

“Shut the hell up!” Naruto punched him again, and kicked his shin. Kiba went to the tile floor.

“Just _wait_ a second! Hold on! Lemme explain everything!” Naruto had never been so god damned worked up in all his life. He knew his punches and kicks had to hurt: he felt them sink into Kiba, and the sound they made was nasty. He was glad about it.

“You wanna _explain_!?” he bellowed. ”Explain to me how you fucked my girlfriend, you mean!? You let me sit here and sob atchu when she left! The whole time she was waiting in the bedroom, wun she!? She was _right here_ the whole time, and you didn’t say shit! ‘_Plugging a hole_’, my ass! You son of a bitch!” Wrenching Kiba off the ground, he put his knee into his gut then pushed him into the counter. Plates and pots fell to the floor, making a ruckus.

That’s when Kiba started fighting back, angry himself.

“God _damn_ you!” he erupted. “Would ya just fuckin’ look at churself, man!?” He swung for Naruto’s head, but Naruto moved out of the way.

Falling on Kiba again, he grabbed hold of him and lifted him unto the counter. There, he pressed him against the cupboards. Kiba’s feet kicked wildly on either side of Naruto, before catching him in the chest.

Naruto was thrown backwards and hit the kitchen island. It made an explosive noise, and a cupboard door was ripped off its hinges when he’d tried to catch himself on it.

The kitchen was quickly turning into a war-zone; it was like two wild animals were duking it out in there—which wasn’t too far from the truth. Adult people are very strong, athletic men disturbingly so.

Kiba jumped off the counter, and picked Naruto up by his shirt. He yelled at him:

“When you had chur accident, you just fuckin’ dropped the ball, man! Like, completely! She didn’t have nowhere to turn to! You were leanin’ on her way too much, and she couldn’t take it anymore, ya know!” Naruto frowned. The last person in the world he’d want a scolding from was Kiba. He cried out, and pushed his friend away from himself. Kiba stumbled, but braced.

“So you decided to comfort her witchur dick, right!?” Naruto shouted, picking up and throwing a packet of InstaMash at the wall. It blew up in a shower of beige powder.

“Hey! She came on to _me_, alright!? Let’s make that perfectly clear!”

“I don’t care! You were in my car! After getting yur new job, you haven’t once ridden with me in my car—so how couldchu’ve left yur fucking key in it, ah!? Unless you did it _after_ me and Sakura broke up, when she stole it from me! _I’m such an idiot_!” With a lunge forward, Naruto grabbed Kiba and lifted him, whereupon he dragged him along the counter and was then tossing him to the floor. Everything on it was knocked down. Kiba busted his lip. “Is everybody in the world lying to me!?”

“Jesus Christ, man!” Kiba yelled, on his knees, touching his mouth and finding blood on his fingers. “Look, you can beat me up all you want, alright? Just don’t fuckin’ kill me! Chill!”

“You _fucked_ my _girlfriend_!” Naruto roared.

“I’m sorry, okay!?”

“Yer _sorry_!? I was gonna marry her! Now I find out, not only did you stab me in the back, but yer gonna be the father of her child!?”

“Oh, shit—Naruto, I—" For a second, there was a glimmer of sympathy in the place of guilt on Kiba’s face.

“You took the only good thing I had left, and then you lied right in my face about it!”

“—Well, jesus, man, it wasn’t like that’s how I planned it! I didn’t want things to turn out like this! And if you were gonna marry her, what the hell made chu wait so long!? _Huh_!? You gotta learn how to spit stuff out, ya know! Don’t just string people along fur yur bullshit parade of self-loathing and shit while you _think_!”

“_I was doing my best_!” Naruto stooped before wind milling an unopened can of beans at Kiba. His friend on the floor held his arms up over his face to protect himself. The can hit him in the ribs with a thud. Naruto threw another one. “You really think she’d want a fucking cripple for a husband!?” This second can hit the cupboards behind Kiba. It made a dent in the wood. “That she’d want an uneducated, crippled, fucking loser—who’s pushing thirty, and can’t seem to amount to anything above keeping my mouth shut about how _fucking angry I am_ with everything and everyone around me!?” Kiba threw a retaliatory can of Mac’N’Cheese. Naruto dodged it, whispering a curse: “Son of a—. . !”

“You said it churself, man!” shouted Kiba. “That’s why she left—cuz she _don’t_ want that! She deserves betteran that!”

“_Of course, she does!_ But she didn’t ’ave to lie and go behind my back! And fuck my best friend! And get knocked up with the kid I _always_ wanted to give her!” Grimacing, Kiba threw a packet of rice at Naruto. It hit him in the dick and Kiba cringed, putting his hands up.

“Shit! I’m sorry!” he said. Naruto bent over, holding on to his groin with the one hand and the counter with the other. He was biting his lips.

That’s it.

“. . ._Yer a real piece of shit_,” he ground out. “_Mm_!” Pretty soon, he banged his fist on the counter, and with a crash, he put his healthy foot through the one remaining door on the kitchen island. The wood burst to smithereens.

“Shit! Man!” Kiba jumped. He looked like a turtle on his back.

“Ya know—” Naruto squatted and bitch-slapped him, keeping him in place with one hand.

“AH!”

“—I coulda dealt with not being good enough,” he said. “But I can’t deal with being _betrayed_. Not on top of everything else! Dontchu get that!?” Kiba struggled with the arm that was holding him down. He looked like he couldn’t breathe right.

“Let go! _Ugh_! Ya know, you didn’t really leave any of us a choice!” he barked. “Look, I love you, man, you know that, and I didn’t wanna do you like this—”

“Shut the hell up withat! If you had any love for me you wun’ve done it!”

“Yeah, butchu don’t know what happened the first time!”

“It doesn’t fucking matter what happened! You coulda had her, and I coulda gotten over it maybe—if you’d’ve just talked to me about whatchu wanted, and let me know how you were feeling about my so-called self-loathing and all!”

“Dude, tryina talk to you is like walking into a fuckin’ rainstorm, man! It was suffocating hanging out witchu back then, always havina cheer you up and shit! You think it was actually an option to tell you ‘hey, man, yur girlfriend’s movin’ out, she’s comin’ home with me, dog—that cool?’. Are you for real!? That outburst woulda been no different from this one, swear to _God_!”

“_Fuck you, man_. . ! You don’t know me at all. . ! Yer nothing but a spineless pissant. . !” Naruto tore into Kiba in a flurry, and the two men scuffled and shouted on the floor.

They were swinging at each other, thuds reverberating in the apartment from how they were knocking into the floor and the cabinets. Kiba clocked Naruto good in the chin, and made his jaw click shut. Naruto tasted blood and spat it at him.

“_Ew_!” Kiba made a sound of disgust and tried to kick Naruto in the gut, but Naruto forced his way closer to combat this. Kiba looked freshly freaked out for a moment. He set his foot to Naruto’s gut and lifted him into the air, trying to toss him. Naruto scrambled for the counter, slipped off of Kiba’s foot and kicked him in the gooch. The brunette got a look on his face which was a blend of pain and insulted disbelief.

He started kicking for Naruto’s knees from that moment on.

Naruto saw red, because his friend was trying to cripple him. He bent his legs more than he normally would in a fight, to protect his joints. Then he caught Kiba’s foot, and used it to tug him closer.

His friend skidded over the broken porcelain and leftovers. Naruto reached for him, and saw panicked anger consume Kiba. Whether or not he was thinking straight can be debated, but he decided to repeatedly kick for Naruto’s bad foot.

Naruto’s world emptied as he took this in.

Then, a coldness started pouring into his heart like through a breached hull; and as it filled him up he sank. It could be said that he plummeted into a darkness that didn’t allow for light.

He snapped, wrenching a hold of Kiba’s right arm, tugging on it.

“_AHG_!” His former friend’s voice was squeezed out of him. Good, Naruto thought, not stopping.

Kiba had to flip onto his stomach to relieve the pressure being put on his wrist, elbow and shoulder. Naruto was putting Kiba’s hand behind his back, wrangling him.

“_AH_! _Fuck_! Let go! Yer breaking my arm, man!” Not listening, he put his knee quickly to the spot between Kiba’s shoulder blades, and pressed down as hard as he could.

“_A_—!" His former friend couldn’t get away from him—Naruto knew that.

What happened next took place so quickly, that it was already done nearly the same moment Kiba had turned over.

Sasuke had started creeping closer when he’d seen Naruto getting kicked in the foot. Now he was in his periphery, leaning over the kitchen island—watching with a perverted smile on his face.

Kiba was being made to reach for the back of his own head. Naruto had his left hand to Kiba’s hand, twisting it the wrong way; his right hand was on Kiba’s elbow. He pushed that elbow upwards with all his might.

It was like preparing chicken. He just bent the joint the wrong way firmly enough to make it crack and dislodge.

Kiba’s elbow connected with his skull and a loud, disturbing _crunch _was heard as his shoulder joint broke.

The apartment immediately filled with screaming.

Sasuke was heard to gasp, to let out a chuckle.

Naruto pushed Kiba’s face into some lukewarm chinese, wiping the floor with his head. He had on a dark expression, and nothing left to say. He got off of Kiba and stood up. His former friend’s arm flopped against his neck.

“_Fuck you, man!_ _Jesus Christ_!” He was crying. Spit dribbled out of his mouth.

“Fuck _me_? Whatever.”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill ya, man!” Kiba swore. ”I swear to fuckin’ God I will!”

“Great. Do.” Naruto went to sit on the couch. He picked up the remote and tried to relax, but he was shaking. He turned up the volume of some whatever reel.

“Fucking psycho!” Kiba screamed. Naruto couldn’t even see him behind the kitchen island. “_Yer disgusting_! Who the fuck—you have to fuck a kid to get any! Nobody in their right mind would get anywhere near you! Fucking—too stupid not to know you ain’t special, just a _miserable asshole_! Just wait till he grows up, man! Then, he’ll leave you too! Oh, _God_, I pray to _God_ it hurts! Just whatchu deserve! _Fucking—psycho—pedophile_!” Naruto's lips drew downwards. He hated himself. The cacophony of his had-been-friend's and the TV's wailing along with Sasuke's judgemental silence was smothering him.

“Get out of here,” he told Sasuke, not looking away from the moving colors on the screen in front of him.

“Forget it!” the kid cried eagerly, hurrying over. He was trembling head to foot. Putting his hand on Naruto’s thigh, he sat down on the floor and gazed up at him. Naruto felt sick. He didn't want Sasuke to touch him. “I’m an accomplice, right? I was here the whole time!”

“Yeah, well, nobody needs to know that.” That hand--it was sinking into his flesh almost, melding with him.

“I’m not going!” Naruto maxed the volume on the TV, not wanting to hear the least of Kiba’s yammering. “You hear me!?” Sasuke shouted. “I said I’m staying!”

“Well, _good for you_!” Naruto shouted, glaring at the kid, slamming the remote control down on the coffee table. He took Sasuke’s hand that was touching him, and threw it away from himself. “You wanna be a criminal so bad? You stick around! But there sure as shit ain’t gonna be no prison time for royalty, is there? Daddy’s special guy’s just gonna be sent back home is all!” That was a dumb thing to say, he thought, scowling. Stupid, poor kid. But he wanted to say dumb things to him, and make him go away. “God knows what then,” he mumbled. Sasuke got on his feet with a wince, and then just stood there like a ghost.

Eventually, Naruto got freaked out by it and he looked up—whereupon he was immediately punched in the head.

“_OW_!? You little—!" Before he could cradle the injury, Sasuke had him bent back on the couch with a hand around his throat. Strong, Naruto thought. Kid's weirdly strong.

“Don’t you say that. . !” Sasuke hissed. “_How_ can you say that. . ?” Naruto gaped at him. “You want to hurt me too. . ? Just like _Father_. . ?” Sasuke put his knee between Naruto’s legs then, leaning in and, bizarrely enough, trying to kiss him. He let go of Naruto’s throat, so his target dodged him, horrified.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke by the arms and kept him at a distance, meanwhile the kid just kept pushing.

“The hell’s the matter witchu?" he mumbled. "Yer really messed up, you know that?” Sasuke looked like Naruto’s grip was hurting him, and though he shouldn't care, he had to let go. The kid collapsed against his chest right away, hugging him tightly.

“_Choke me. . !_” he demanded. Those big, black eyes Naruto had come to adore blinked wetly up at him, and the coldness from before warmed just a little bit.

“Sa—Sasuke. . !? Just—get out of here!" he said. "I’m no good. . !There’s no need for you to get mixed up in things. . ! Just get already!”

“. . . But I don’t want to leave you.” Naruto shook his head when he heard this.

“Why’d you have to be so messed up, man? I thought I could, but I can’t help you! How would I do that? Huh?”

“I’m still not leaving. . !” Sasuke held on to him for dear life, and Naruto realized it was for real. This fucking moron, he thought.

”What am I gonna do witchu? You won’t do as I say. You tell me to choke you. . ! _God_! _Yer all kinds of messed up_. . !” The kid snuggled against his heart. He could smell his shampoo. “Whatever,” Naruto sighed. “Just--do whatchu want. . !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's canon-Naruto's birthday today, ya'll. How nerdy is it of me to look at my calendar this morning and remember that? Celebrate with ramen!


	11. What? You Never Had a Thirsty Breakdown? Right, Ballzheimer's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's sex in this chapter, lots of it, and this is a heads-up.

Not five minutes later, the police showed up. The neighbor had called them, of course, and Sakura too.

Two armed officers, with guns up, swept into the apartment after having kicked the door down. A third officer followed—a fat, old one. He saw Naruto and Sasuke on the couch right away, and put his hands on his hips. Then he called dispatch for an ambulance, eyeing Kiba with wary disgust.

There was a wise look on the officer after seeing Naruto, like he already knew what had happened.

“We’re requesting a backup unit and an ambulance. Home invasion, possible homicide with two suspects in custody.” A sour little grimace washed over Naruto, staring at the TV.

“You there!” the fat officer barked. “Get up and put your hands on your heads!” Naruto sighed and did as told. Sasuke copied him, and dropped his blanket. They were both handcuffed by the two armed officers. “Turn that off!” The fat one gestured to the TV, and while one ninja turtle took aim at Naruto and Sasuke, the other shut it off.

Kiba could now be heard clearly.

“_Just fuckin’ help me already, you fat pig! Jesus_!” he was shrieking on the floor. His voice was completely busted. The fat officer took a measured look at him.

“I hate this part of town,” he grumbled with a shake of his jowly head. Naruto and Sasuke were pushed down on the couch again.

“I thought you wanted me upright, officer?” Naruto smirked.

“You shut the hell up,” retorted the lumpy man by the door.

“Well, I’m sorry, I’m just confused is all! What’re the rules supposed to be here—and what if I mess ‘em up and you end up shooting me cuz I happena sneeze or something, right? But I guess we all know that’s not likely to happen, amirite?” He nudged Sasuke in the side with his elbow, saying this.

“I thought I told you to shut up! Do I look like the type of cop who’d shoot a kid for sneezing? Might give you a slap up your punk-ass head though!” The officer had a fatherly air that Naruto couldn’t help but to both like and abhor.

“_Hm_. I guess yer right,” he said.

“What happened here?” the floppy cop wondered, looking from Kiba to Naruto and back again.

“Domestic dispute,” answered Naruto, blandly.

“_You don’t live here, you shit_!” bellowed Kiba.

“No, _duh_, don’t I!? I’m supposed to call it a ‘gentlemen’s quarrel’ or someshit then? Say we _dueled_!?”

“_My ass is a gentleman before you are_!”

“It’s a—fucking—joke!”

“Hey! _Ey-ey-ey-ey_! That’s enough!” cried the cop. “You guys already have a busted up situation between yous; let’s not make it any worse, shall we? I think I get the picture. Lady troubles, huh? Link,“ he snapped his fingers and one of the officers currently prodding at Naruto and Sasuke looked up. The flabby cop pointed at the closed bedroom door. Link went for it. “So he stole yo girl, and now you’re real mad. Alright. And what about you then?” Sasuke whipped his head around a couple of times, unsure (by the looks of him) whether the officer was talking to him. “Over here,” the cop said. Sasuke focused on him. “_Ooh,_ boy! ‘Scuse me, sir, I figured you for the lady of the hour!”

“No, he’s Simon,” Naruto interjected quickly. Like hell he was going to let the cops have Sasuke’s real name.

The officer lay a tired expression on Naruto.

“_Simon_, is it?” To be more incredulous than this cop, in this moment, would be impossible. “That’ll do for now. Are you an American citizen, son?” Sasuke frowned. At the same time, he spat:

“_Yes_!”

“Well, alright! Don’t burn me alive with that stare you got! I just have to ask.”

“You didn’t ask _him_!” Sasuke nodded at Naruto. The cop put his hands in the air and looked to the heavens.

“Well, excuse me! Son, are _you_ an American citizen?”

“Unfortunately,” answered Naruto.

“Unfor—! You don’t know how good you got it. Is that good enough for you, _Simon_? Now, before implying any of that shit again you just take a long, hard look at my black ass and pipe the fuck down.”

“You don’t know jack about either of us!” snapped Naruto.

“I know you’re a blonde, blue-eyed pretty-boy in the prime of your life! I know you beat your own buddy over some girl who didn’t want you! If that’s all it takes to push you over the edge, I know you ain’t been through shit!

What’s to stop you from finding some other girl, getting married and having babies with her, huh? What about Simon over here? Cute as button, ain’t he?” Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, stuttering. “What? You boys homophobic or something?”

“No!” “_What_? No!” they responded.

Link came back. He said the apartment was cleared, and the fat one nodded at him, gripping the belt reigning in his gut.

“Discrimination’s messed up, don’t I know it,” he then said, bobbing up and down. “I married a white girl in the seventies. You think that was popular back then? No, sir. Now get your asses off the couch: backup is here.” Naruto and Sasuke were escorted out of Kiba’s apartment behind the fat cop, in front of the two turtles, and shoving past the arriving paramedics.

After they and the officers had exited the building, Naruto and Sasuke were pushed into each of the two police cars parked just outside, under the blue lights that were blinking on them.

Naruto was mashed in his seat by his head. He landed practically in a heap.

“What’s that accent you got?” the fat cop asked him, sitting down in the driver’s seat. He was so heavy, the car dipped under him.

“West Virginia," Naruto grumbled.

“West Virginia!” The cop sounded happy. “I thought I heard a little twang in there! Guy with the arm, too?” He was looking at Naruto through the rearview mirror, his beady little eyes shining.

“Yeah. From Summersville.” Why the hell was he talking to him? It was just a ploy to get information; he knew that! Still. . .

“Summersville? That near the mountains?”

“Depends on whatchu consider ‘near’. I used to go with my dad in the summers. He thought he could hunt. We nearly starved.” He snorted at the memory. The jowly cop gave him a look through the rearview mirror. Naruto met it suspiciously. The cop had smiling eyes. He hummed and said:

“Childhood friends then, are you? _Oooh_! What an epic!” He started up the car and backed out unto the road, following the taillights of his colleagues. “What a way to make war! You boys always been stealing each other’s girlfriends, and beating on each other since back home?”

“Pretty much. Although it used to be outa boredom, ya know.”

“_Uh-huh_!” The cop sounded like he thought he understood something. “And uh—_Simon_—he from the East, too?”

“Bit further East than us.”

“China?”

“Listen, I’m not talking about him, alright? So. . .” Naruto leaned back in his seat with a thud. He stared out the window. The cuffs hurt. He didn’t have a seatbelt on. The authorities are weird—like, what do they want, even? Prosecution—unless the suspect dies getting where they’re going?

“I understand. You ever been in a cop car before?”

“No, sir.”

“Yeah. I didn’t think so either.”

*

Naruto was put in an interrogation room. It was metallic and cold. He was straight up cuffed to the table. When he'd been in there for two hours, he started wondering how come no one had seen him yet. He had to go to the bathroom like you wouldn’t believe.

“_Shi-t_. . !” he cursed quietly, pulling on the cuffs and trying to wiggle a hand out. That moment, the door opened and he jerked to attention.

The fat cop from before came stepping inside on gentle feet, and with an apologetic expression on his face. He was carrying a beige folder that he dropped on the table before sitting down, across from Naruto.

“How we doing here?” he asked. Naruto snorted.

“Can’t you just put me in a cell where at least I can take a piss? I’m not hiding anything. I did all of it. Unlawful entry and assault—that’s me, so can we just be done?”

“You’re familiar with prosecution terms, I hear.”

“Why wouldn’t I be; I’m an adult and the world’s crazy.”

“You wanna be put in a cell, Naruto?”

“I don’t care what chu do to me," he mumbled, sad and tired. "Although I’d prefer not to wet myself to be perfectly honest, ya know.”

“Well—” the cop said, groaning. Then he stood up again, walked over and uncuffed Naruto. The chair bemoaned his return. Naruto was baffled. He rubbed his sore wrists. “—You’ll be going home for tonight.”

“Why?” he wondered.

“Because your buddy woke up from surgery and he called us. I tell ya, he was real dizzy, man, but he insisted we don’t detain you. Said he wasn’t pressing charges. So. . .” the cop shrugged. Naruto didn’t understand anything. “Just goes to show, despite the number you did on him, guy’s still your buddy, huh?”

“Great,” Naruto grumbled. “He’s even a better cripple than I am? Fuck off. . !” He spat off to the side. “Give it a few months. . !”

“It’s in your papers here saying you’re a—black belt. That right?” Naruto gave him an incredulous stare.

“What? No. I’m a yellow belt.”

“Says here it’s black.” The cop swatted at a paper he’d pulled from the folder. He put it in front of Naruto so he could read it.

It was his Taekwondo registry form. The English was a little wonky since his particular registration was Korean, but it was legit, alright. It listed Naruto’s name, rank, registration number as well as master lineage.

It was a lineage he’d dreamed of becoming a part of, a long time ago. The same dream which had been crushed together with his foot.

Jiraiya was a direct descendant (school-wise) of the original founder of his school. It was an honor in the Taekwondo community, just to be introduced to someone like Jiraiya. The lineage read on the paper before him:

Supreme Grand Master X X X—Senior Grand Master X X X, 9th Dan Black Belt

|

Senior Grand Master X X X, 9th Dan Black Belt—Grand Master X X, 8th Dan Black Belt

|

Grand Master X X, 8th Dan Black Belt—Grand Master Jiraiya Sannin, 6th Dan Black Belt

|

Grand Master Jiraiya Sannin, 6th Dan Black Belt—Naruto Uzumaki, 1st Dan Black Belt

Naruto stared at it for a long time. Eventually, he was asked:

“Everything alright?”

“He never told me. . .”

“Hm? Who did?” The cop leaned in closer, straining with the effort. Naruto looked up at him. He pointed to the paper.

“My master. He must’ve—filed for my graduation. . .” He fell back against his uncomfortable chair. It wobbled with the impact of his body. Setting his fingers to the paper again, he felt like he had to try and touch the title that he’d not even known he’d been granted.

_1st Dan_

“I’m a graduate,” he whispered, gaping. That meant he’d succeeded back then. He’d completed his training, and was qualified to train colored belts.

These past years. . .

“Here, son,” the cop said, taking a packet of tissues form his front pocket and handing it to Naruto. He looked at him, confused. He hadn’t noticed the tears on his face. Taking a tissue out, he mumbled his thanks. “You know—there’re special ordinances for cases like yours. It’s not up to your buddy, I’m afraid, it’s just the law.” Naruto understood perfectly. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like the biggest idiot there ever was. “I’m sorry to say the mail’s already been sent. I don’t know too much about how quickly these proceedings usually turn out, but you can probably kiss that belt goodbye pretty soon.”

“I know,” Naruto said, clearing his throat. “Yeah. I know. That’s fair.” The cop grimaced uncomfortably.

“What were you thinking?” he then asked.

“I don’t know. I was just—_angry_. . !”

“You’re gonna have to learn how to control that anger, you hear? I know a thing or two about feeling angry. Here—” He took out a notepad and clicked a pen which he began writing on it with. “—Call this number. They have a studio just outside of town where they get together once a week. Just give it the good ole college try, huh? What do you say?” He smiled when Naruto chuckled at his college-reference. “Huh? What harm’s it gonna do you?”

“I guess.” Naruto took the note.

“One day you’re gonna end up hurting someone real important to you, if you don’t work on controlling yourself. That’s not a maybe-turnout; it’s some reality. I know what I’m talking about, okay? My wife—she ain’t my first girl, but I love her like the blood in my veins! And I never did nothing wrong by _her_. It’s never too late, man!” He poked Naruto hard in the chest.

“If you say so.” He didn’t know if he could get a hold of himself, honestly: life had ruined him.

“I know so! I wasn’t always the king of self-restraint, nahmsaying? But I learnt! Oh, yes!” Patting his big gut, the cop laughed. “It gets easier.”

“Yeah.”

“It _does_. So, don’t let me see your dumbass face in here again, Lord help me. Go on. Get out. I’ve got a lot of paperwork to file thanks to you. _Simon’s_ waiting for you too, so you better watch yourself.”

*

Sasuke was in the hall, waiting for Naruto. He sat on a chair that an officer had brought for him about two hours eariler.

When he and Naruto were brought in, Sasuke had been fussed over big time. The fat cop had flicked his wrist, and suddenly there were bandages and people on their knees everywhere. Sasuke had been so overwhelmed by it, that he'd missed when Naruto disappeared somewhere. So here he remained, his hands, forearms, feet and neck packaged and making him feel pretty funny. He focused on his concern for Naruto's sake.

Sasuke had heard the phone call from Kiba coming in. It had been unmistakable: he'd seen the stunned look on the answering cop’s face, seen how they’d turned to their colleague, grinning ear to ear. The station had filled with accolades like ‘crazy hillbillies’ and ‘good friends’ after that. It was an unusual case, and the cops were having fun because of it.

But Sasuke was a little jealous of Kiba, to be honest. Obviously, it wasn't because he’d gotten turned into a pretzel, but because he shared such a close bond with Naruto. Sasuke didn't know how to top it, only that he must.

The door to the interrogation room down the hall opened just then, and Naruto walked out of it, head hanging. Sasuke became almost airborne upon seeing him. He leapt forward, and stopped just in time not to collide. He was unsure of whether Naruto would let himself be hugged or not. Instead, they shared an awkward look, and Sasuke said:

“You look like hell.” But there was something new. Naruto was different. He was looking at Sasuke without his usual air of confidence, and it made him wonder. "You--okay?" he asked. Naruto tried to smile, but failed. Then he lifted his arms and stroked Sasuke's cheeks, looking down into his eyes--really looking at him. Sasuke stuttered. _He loves me!_ he thought. It was obvious; he would have to have been an idiot not to get it.

“Let’s get outa here, _Simon_,” Naruto mumbled. “Lemme just hit the can first, and we can go home.” _We!_ Gaping at the miracle, Sasuke wondered what on Earth had happened inside the interrogation room. He decided not to ask however, in case it broke the spell Naruto was under. He only nodded, enthused, then waited just outside the bathroom door.

When they were finally leaving, Sasuke noticed Naruto turning around briefly. He and the fat cop waved to each other. Naruto had a post-it note in his hand that he was eyeing seriously, and though Sasuke snuck a read, he couldn't make anything out of a phone number.

*

Naruto’s phone had started blowing up again; he felt it vibrating in his pocket. He didn’t need to look to know that it was Sakura trying to get a hold of him. So—during the cab-ride he'd shared with Sasuke, getting back to Kiba's place so he could get his car, he'd turned his phone off for the first time. It was a little weird, but he wanted to focus on what was important.

Naruto climbed out of his car, and entered the parking lot outside of his place. The weather was clear and cold. It was dark out.

“Wait,” he said, breath steaming. Closing his own door first, he hurried around the car and opened Sasuke’s. The kid raised an eyebrow at him, but Naruto saw that he was pleased. He smiled, giving him his hand.

“_Sheesh_. . !” Sasuke took it and let himself be pulled out. Naruto tugged him slowly closer, looking down and just standing there for a moment, feeling Sasuke in his hands. Who was he to tell the kid he was messed up? Sheesh, indeed. Wasn't he the one not going to be making any more moves on the poor guy?

Sasuke began to wonder what was going on.

“Wha—"

“Come with me,” Naruto whispered to him. The kid swallowed and nodded his head, but didn’t say a word. The car was closed up and locked, its chirp distinct across the empty outdoors.

Naruto was so ashamed of himself he didn’t know what to do. Kiba was right; he did loathe himself, and he’d really messed up. In the light of his extraordinary fuckup that proved just what a massive loser he really was, how could he have tried to reject Sasuke? He'd thought he could protect him by not encouraging anything romantic, but--he was a nutcase! He couldn't protect anyone, no matter what he tried! And the kid did love him (for lack of better judgement!); he'd said so. Naruto should be ecstatic--because he understood now that he was crazy about Sasuke.

Meaning to go all the way inside his apartment, he took a look at Sasuke’s feet first. Then he lifted him off them and carried him in his arms. It embarrassed the kid and made him mad, which Naruto enjoyed.

“Is your foot really okay with this?” Sasuke grumbled.

“My foot’s fine.”

He only put him down again once they were in the hallway, and the door was locked. They took off their outer wear, and went to the kitchen.

“You hungry?” Naruto asked. He was speaking quietly and carefully, sounding sad when really he was reverent. Sasuke nodded. “Right,” Naruto smiled. “I’ll get chu something.”

He got out the leftovers from yesterday’s dinner, and stuck them in the microwave. He’d been looking forward to eating them, but felt that he’d get more satisfaction out of letting Sasuke have them. Sandwiches would do him fine.

Putting the home-made ramen dish in a porcelain bowl before setting it on the table, Naruto began rummaging about for cutlery and a glass.

“What chu want for a drink?” he asked.

“I can get it.”

“No, I’m already over here. It’s okay.”

“Water’s fine.”

“Well, there’s plenty of that. But chu can have yur pick, ya know. I got milk, wine—_uh_—a beer, and this cider that’s pretty good.”

“Hm. Let me try the cider, then.” Naruto nodded and poured him a glassful. Sasuke tried it and inclined his head. He seemed to like it. Naruto responded with a double thumbs-up and he sat down. “You actually drink milk plain?”

“Hm? Well—sometimes. It’s good for you, ya know.”

“You’re not lactose intolerant?”

“What? No.”

“Most people are.”

“Guess I’m just one of the lucky few then, huh?”

“I’m not either.”

“Intolerant?” Sasuke nodded at this, eating gracefully. “Well. . . Whattaya know.”

“Soulmates, right?” The kid smirked, stirring his food. Naruto watched him. “So, you know this is Japanese cuisine, I take it.”

“_Mhm_.”

“Trying to impress me?” Naruto slow-smiled at him.

“Like I have to try,” he whispered knowingly. Sasuke looked embarrassed again.

“It’s good,” he said.

“I’m glad.”

“You’re not having any?”

“_Nah_.”

“Because you spat in it, right?” This throwback wasn’t lost on Naruto. He snorted lightly.

“Like I do every day.” It was time. He couldn't wait any longer. Getting up then stooping at Sasuke feet, he took his hand and said: “Hey, I’m onna jump in the shower. I’ll put some clothes out for you—and a towel.” Sasuke had his mouth full, and hurried to swallow, looking wild.

“I’m staying over?” he coughed.

“Of course yer staying.” The kid was quiet at this. He was obviously worried about going home. “Sasuke, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you—not ever again.” Sasuke inhaled sharply; though he tried to hide it, Naruto noticed. “Yer staying,” he said. “Forever.”

“You mean—. . ?”

“Here with me. Live here. We’ll figure something out. I’m through watching you--get smacked around.” Sasuke’s hand began to sweat. They both looked down. “Well, you just—think it over, okay? I—_uh_—want chu to move in with me.”

“_Oh, god._ . !”

“I think it’s—for the best, ya know. Any-way. . !” Naruto shot up and turned his back, hurrying towards the bathroom—coward, that he was. Shaking, he managed somehow to stop himself, knowing that he shouldn’t just run off after saying something like that. With his hand on the doorknob he made himself look back at Sasuke, dangerously insecure.

“_Thank you_. . !” the kid pressed, wholly red in the face. Naruto felt like he would just die if he didn’t do something.

So, he disappeared into the bathroom, in pursuit of self-control.

Part Two

When Naruto came back out, he was wearing only a towel and the jitters. He didn’t think he’d ever cleaned himself so thoroughly; it had been like a religious ceremony. You could eat off of him.

Sasuke was right where he’d left him and he stood up, wiping his cheeks. He looked so out of place and so thankful that Naruto almost fell down. A change of clothes and a shower couldn’t seem more trivial.

His heart lurched before he did and he had to come forward, throwing his arms around Sasuke as soon as the kid reached for him.

“_Ah_!” Sasuke's voice slipped out; he was clearly overwhelmed, but at least he seemed happy about it. His lips were sought out and Naruto pressed them to his, holding his head in his hand. Their kiss was full of need, and it comforted them both.

“I’m sorry I lied to you. . !” Sasuke gasped in between kisses.

“It’s okay. . ! I told you. . !”

“_I love you_. . !”

“I know. . !”

“I love you _so much_. . !”

“_Shhh_. . !” Naruto led him to his bedroom on bouncy feet. He was afraid at the same time—afraid that Sasuke would turn to dust (or something) and slip between his fingers unless he held on. Crazy thought, but—he was crazy. “Come here, baby. . !” He urged, putting his knee on the mattress. Sasuke came, and was laid down on his back, head on the pillow. Naruto trembled just from looking.

Then he got pulled down, and was leaning over the kid.

Sasuke defined expectancy by mirroring all of Naruto’s movements, trying to catch him at every chance. Naruto liked it, and wriggled him out of his sweater and his dress shirt, slow and orderly for the sake of all the bandages. The bloody clothing was dropped on the floor. The bruises on Sasuke’s arms and his face had darkened by now, and made Naruto feel deficient.

“Sasuke. . !” He kissed them, kissed Sasuke everywhere he saw: his chest and his stomach, his arms and his hands.

The kid sighed under him.

“Just let me—this once. . !” Gathering him up in his arms, Naruto got him completely naked. Sasuke looked a little uncertain at Naruto’s slow caresses, but he was reaching for him and wanted more kisses, so he couldn’t hate it.

This time, Naruto was sick of bullshitting; he would make love to Sasuke tonight.

The kid was by no means passive once he became sure they were having sex; he started breathing heavily, and tore the towel away from Naruto’s waist, wrapping his long legs around him instead. Naruto had to slow him down.

“Relax. . !” He pushed a little bit, taking control, and could see that Sasuke was again unsure of what was happening. “It’s okay,” Naruto assured him. “Yer okay. . !” The kid was watchful, squinting up at him.

Naruto reached between them, and closed his hand around Sasuke’s semi-chub. It surprised him apparently, and Naruto smiled. Sasuke let out a sound, and flexed his body.

“_Hn_!”

“How’re you feeling?” Naruto asked, kissing his neck where Sasuke's skin peeked through the bandages. He was barely even touching him, but he could feel it in his hand—just like he could see the rising tension on his face.

“_Good_. . ! I want you, though. . !” Sasuke lifted his hips, and used his legs to pull. Naruto resisted, chuckling when the kid began to look seriously annoyed.

“Just wait,” he said. Getting out the lube from the nightstand drawer, Sasuke kept his eyes on him.

“Hurry up. . !” he groaned. His annoyance was momentarily wiped away however, when Naruto closed his now slick fingers around Sasuke’s dick. Sasuke’s mouth fell open, and he couldn’t help but to thrust his hips.

Naruto decided to take the kid’s legs, one by one by the knees, and put himself right up close between them. When this was allowed, he brushed the back of Sasuke’s thighs in gratitude, then continued stroking him.

“_Aaah_. . !” Naruto’s neck was touched, then his chest, then his arms. Sasuke seemed to like stroking his skin. That was good: Naruto liked it too.

The way that the kid was heaving for air was music to his ears to which he paid keen attention.

“_Hn! N—aah_. . ! Why aren’t you—doing anything else. . ?” Sasuke mumbled, shifting.

“I wanna look at chu.”

“Naru—!" Look he did. Sasuke’s muscles were tightening and working under his pale skin as his body billowed. It was beautiful. Naruto leaned down, inhaled, then hissed like steam against his chest. He kissed the skin there fervently, moving up Sasuke’s neck and to his ear, leaving his free hand to caress the flawless (yet bruised) body under him.

“God, please, say it again: say you want me. . !” he groaned.

“I want you. . ! I always wanted you. . !” He didn’t think too carefully on this, only moaned and lay down, sighing at the friction, letting go and bracing on both hands. The kid gasped. “_Hurry_. . !” he said for the second time. Naruto thrust against him, also impatient.

He shook, as a matter of fact: he was so excited.

Sasuke was gorgeous. He was so ridiculously, earth-shatteringly _gorgeous_! No longer afraid to be thinking this, Naruto looked and looked, and he couldn’t look his fill because he’d not allowed himself to before.

Sasuke met his gaze and seemed to catch on to what he was thinking; he smiled and craned his neck, showing off. Naruto bit his lip.

Next, he dove on him. Trapping Sasuke around the waist with his arms, he lifted him slightly off the mattress and inhaled the scent of his hair, humping him mindlessly. Sasuke was moaning, and clawing at his back.

He wanted him—now.

Sasuke’s fingernails scratched him particularly hard then, and Naruto had to bite back his voice. It hurt, but knowing that it turned Sasuke on made it strangely fun. He shook his head at him, pretending to be mad.

“_Freak_,” he gasped.

“Am not. Do me hard. . !” Sasuke was all too happy about hurting him—he got that; but Naruto had been raised to be tough, so he didn’t know either how it was supposed to be. When it came to pain, he would react instinctively if injuries formed but never otherwise—unlike Sasuke.

“This time—we’re doing it my way. . !” he announced. Sasuke smirked at him, and assumed a vampiric grip on his neck. Naruto froze, shivering all over. “_H-ah_. . !” Yikes. In his explorations, see, the kid had discovered Naruto liked being bitten—but the little shit always did it too hard!

Naruto’s dick pulsed. He squeezed Sasuke, feeling his tempo having been messed with. He didn’t want to come so soon!

“_Easy_. . !” he said when the kid finally retracted the damned fangs in his mouth.

“I know you like that. . !” he purred. Naruto felt his mind slipping. Seizing the opportunity, Sasuke reached down and was trying to take him dry.

“Jesus. . ! That’s not gonna work, stupid. . !”

“Sure it will . . !” Naruto sighed and squirmed a little bit, but decided to let the kid have a go. Leaking quite a lot anyway, maybe Sasuke could actually get somewhere. He was adamant about it in any case. With a tight expression, he forced the tip of Naruto’s dick inside himself. “H—_Ah_!”

Naruto twitched.

“Just—(gasp)—” He had to change the position of his arms; if he didn’t, he might just topple—and then what? Sasuke sabotaged everything, and Naruto collapsed despite his best intentions. When he tried to get off of him (not wanting to crush the kid) he found that he was being held stuck. Then Sasuke did something really sexy:

“_Push_. . !” he whispered in his ear.

Naruto felt his cheeks burn. It was of a sudden imperative that he thought of his dad and of—like—ulcers the very second he heard this command, or he’d just blow it right away. He focused hard on calming down.

“I don’t—wanna hurt chu. . !” he managed to relay.

“You’re not hurting me: I like it. . !”

“Sasuke. . .” The kid eagerly pressed his heels into Naruto’s ass, trying to force him deeper. It being easily withstood, he let himself be goaded just a little. “_Care-ful_. . !” he whispered. Sasuke threw his head back and closed his eyes, as Naruto rocked slowly back and forth. He was trying to coat himself in his pre, thinking it would do something minor. Sinking somewhat deeper, he could still feel that he was too dry, and that Sasuke was too tight.

It was like an Indian burn on your dick, like—1/10 points.

“_AHhhhnn_. . !”

“_Jesus Christ_. . !” Naruto went cross-eyed, thinking: Sasuke can make the sexiest fucking noises on Earth. Straining to reach the lube-tube, Sasuke reacted to it like he’d seen a knife. He took Naruto’s hand and glared at him.

“Don’t!” he said. “I want you like this. . !” Naruto couldn’t understand him. It had to hurt; it seriously had to hurt so much! How could he enjoy it?

“You’ll tear or something—” he tried to reason, but was rebuffed.

“I don’t _care_. . !”

“—Come on! Just a little bit. . !”

“If you push all the way inside, then I’ll let you.”

“I _can’t_! I’m caught on yur skin, ya know!”

“_Naruto_. . ! Please?” Sasuke whispered his name, and he felt his mind turn to nonsense.

He was compliant as can be when Sasuke rocked his hips against him, and didn’t really hear the noises of pain the kid was making at the same time. Naruto was lost in the vice-like heat, and the way that Sasuke looked. It was impossible to seat himself, surely, but still the kid looked more and more like he was about to go full delirium.

He was scrambling now, trying to find satisfaction in the midst of almost-climax. Naruto was worried he’d hurt himself if left to do on his own, so he chose to indulge Sasuke’s self-destructive tendency.

“Lay down,” he said to no avail. “Just—lay down. . !” Sasuke reluctantly did, gasping and grabbing his own forehead, arching his back. “Yer so. . !” Naruto picked him up by the hips and pulled out, before pushing methodically forward.

“_AHH_!” Sasuke shouted happily. Naruto flicked his eyes at him, then did the same thing one more time. Suddenly, with a release of tension that reminded him of a balloon popping, Naruto managed to slip halfway inside, and was himself filled with alarm.

But the kid was going nuts, so he figured he better keep it up, thrusting just a few times before--

“AH! AHG! AH—HA! A—NA—!" Sasuke came almost right away, shooting a long streak of cum across his chest and trembling head to toe.

Naruto had really had enough; the kid better be happy. To think he'd even let him go bare in him!

He yanked the tube-a-lube off the floor to where and from it had fallen, and re-sogged his hand up.

Naruto was sick and tired of seeing Sasuke in pain, he thought, getting a condom out of his nightstand and dropping it in Sasuke's cum with a tiny _splat_.

“Open,” he said. Then, “Put it on me.”

Pulling out, he found fresh blood dripping on the sheets.

“Son of a—. . !” He took his fingers and explored the area around Sasuke’s hole. There was a cut from the strain, of course. It wasn’t big or anything, but the kid was still bleeding from it! And all because he was a masochistic little dumbass.

Naruto sat up and glared at him, arms hanging as the kid rolled the condom onto him. And useless though it was to try and cover the obvious with a smile, Sasuke tried it.

Naruto coated himself in the gotten goo.

“It’s my turn now, you dumb bastard,” he said. Tilting the kid’s butt up to drip lube directly on his asshole. The tube then went flying, landing somewhere with a clatter.

Naruto leaned over him, and Sasuke flexed around Naruto’s fingers as they entered him. The kid grabbed the sheets hard. Naruto pulled his fingers out, plucked those hands up and aligned himself correctly, then he braided his and Sasuke’s fingers together. The kid looked like he wanted to laugh, and tried to pull away. But “No,” Naruto told him. “Here.”

“What?” Sasuke smiled.

“Just trust me. . !” Naruto pushed gently forward, rolling his hips slowly. The penetration went easily this time. Now the kid was breathing deeply again, angling his pelvis to provide good access, but he still turned his head away.

Naruto followed, intent on what he wanted.

“Look at me,” he insisted. “Keep yur eyes on me. . !” He rolled his hips forward again, even slower this time but pressing firmly. Sasuke made a small noise deep in his throat, and though he looked confused he played along. Naruto was happy.

Yeah, he thought, just like this. This is how I want you.

“Isat good?” he wondered. Sasuke frowned, pressing down and clamping his thighs around Naruto’s hips.

“Faster!” he ordered, but wouldn’t be indulged.

“_No_.” Naruto kissed his cheek, then his cheekbone, his forehead and temple, fucking him slowly and deeply. Sasuke was trying to prove he hated it by staying quiet. It didn’t go well, because a weak groan escaped each time Naruto sheathed himself in him. “Kiss me. . !”

“No. . !” Sasuke was moping. Naruto let go of his hands and forced a deep kiss on him despite what he’d said. Though he was whining about it, Naruto knew he liked it. So, he would take his sweet time.

Sasuke pulled Naruto’s hair then, but it only made him pause.

“_Ngh_!” He looked down at him. The kid was panting, and obviously rosy with lust—the liar.

Naruto grimaced at him, then kissed him hard, making him huff. Sasuke’s fingertips were caressing his chest though—lunatic.

It was the best sex Naruto had ever had; too bad his partner didn’t seem to agree but just shimmied his legs.

“_Narutooo_. . !” he complained, breaking their kiss by turning his head away.

“Just let me do it my way this once. . ! I promise you’ll enjoy it. . !” This only made the kid protest more energetically. He didn’t believe him, it seemed. There was a conflicted look on his face, and he was mumbling half-words that bordered the place between pleasure and discomfort. “Don’t chu want me?” Naruto asked, getting worried.

“Yes!”

“Then be a good sport!” he laughed (relieved)! “I just wanna do you like you deserve. . ! I don’t like seeing yur pretty skin all bruised and cut. I want chu to feel how I feel about chu. . !” He barely knew what he was saying, but he wanted desperately to make sure Sasuke felt good now.

He needed to focus on him, and forget everything that had been going on lately.

“I don’t—need to be slow-fucked, Naruto. . !” Sasuke hissed.

Then, he did something disturbing: he put the finger missing a nail in his mouth, and bit down on the bandage there—hard. At the same time, he ran the fingers of his other hand down Naruto’s chest. A deep, sultry moan was rumbling in him. Naruto’s eyebrows soared.

“_Stop that_. . !” he said, taking the finger out of the kid’s mouth. “Sasuke. . !”

“_Ugh_!”

“Look at me. . !” Sasuke did—savagely. “Yer the only one I want like this. . ! Fucking is easy, but I—I want chu to feel something else. . ! D’you know what it does to me, seeing you hurt? The confusion on yur face when you can’t decide what to make of it—it kills me, ya know. . ! I don’t wanna make you feel that way, I just do it cuz you say it gets you off. . ! But I’ll never get it.

Yer such a freak, Sasuke; you just freak me out. . ! So, let me—” He thrust his hips, a wealth of affection behind it. The kid cried out. “—Just once. . !—”

“_Ah_!”

“—Do you like you deserve. . ! Just one time. . !”

“_Aah_! Fuck! Na—ruto!”

“Just pretend, alright. . ?” He dove in close, pressing in deeply so that Sasuke whined and pulled his knees up. “Just pretend—that you like it. . !” Naruto was stupid-in-love. God, was he screwed. He closed his eyes and stroked Sasuke from the inside; he didn’t want to see right now, or think.

Sasuke actually relaxed somewhat then, and he pulled Naruto nice and close, making him open his eyes again and hope.

“You’re a sweetheart,” Sasuke whispered. “You’re so sweet, Naruto. . !” But the kid’s weird hunger grew quickly, and proved he wasn’t willing to put it off for very long.

His remaining nails were more like claws, drawing lines along Naruto’s flanks.

“_Kh_!” So this was what it was always going to be, was it? He prayed Sasuke would never know what power he had over him.

Naruto gently held him down against the mattress when his kisses started getting aggressive.

Sasuke looked disbelieving (and annoyed), and Naruto was quiet, just gazing down at him for a moment. His mouth was red and glossy. His skin shone. He would make love to him, if it took all night he would do it! Because Naruto was at least as stubborn as they come.

“Be still,” he said, pushing slowly into him. The bed creaked with each of his controlled movements. “Yer—amazing, Sasuke. . ! I really—do you know? How great you are?”

“Naruto—” the kid mouthed, holding himself back. “—Stop saying that stuff. . ! Just stop it—_hha_! S-top. . !”

“_M-m_,” Naruto shook his head, then leaned down so he could hold Sasuke close. He panted so that his hair blew.

Sasuke was trying to get his attention, but was ignored. Naruto didn’t hear when he’d stopped moaning—he did pick up on the sniffling, though. Stopping immediately, he stared.

Why was the kid crying? What now? What did he do now?

He leaned on his forearms and kissed Sasuke’s hand, hoping to comfort him but only making him cringe harder.

“What’s wrong?” Naruto wondered.

“_Guh_—!” He could feel Sasuke’s insides pulsing around him, saw his by now fully engorged dick. He didn’t get any of this.

“Sorry, Sasuke,” he tried. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“_Ugh—gu_—I—don’t want it like this!”

“. . . Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m—! I want it _hard_! That’s what feels good to me! _You’re_ the one who likes it all tender and shit—_not me_!!” Sasuke’s voice broke on a high note.

“Okay, okay. . ! You don’t have to scream: I can hear you.” Stroking the kid’s hair, Naruto’s mind was just blown. He didn’t understand. It was like Sasuke was some kind of anti-person; everything about him was on its head! “It’s alright,” he told him anyway. “Do you wanna stop?”

“(_sniff_) No! I want you to do it like I want!”

“_Okay_! I can do it any way you want.”

Wide-eyed, Naruto got off him and sat up. He lifted Sasuke’s ass, and propped himself over him. Then he raised an eyebrow. The kid’s body was practically vibrating as he pushed himself closer and moaned. Naruto frowned. Then he shot his hips forward, very hard. There was a little anger behind his thrust, because he felt humiliated.

If Sasuke didn’t like this either, at least it wouldn’t be on him.

Sasuke seemed to forget all about his unhappiness, and was unaware or just didn’t give a crap about how weird he was—he just spread his legs wider. It made Naruto groan, only half from pleasure. He started hammering. Stupid—Sasuke was so stupid.

Sasuke grabbed him then by the shoulders, surprising Naruto as he pulled himself up in his lap. Naruto relaxed back on his feet, meeting his gaze. His cheek was stroked, and he expected another blowout from it.

“Hey. . ?” Sasuke’s voice was uncertain. What did he want now?

“What?”

“Please, don’t hate me. . !” At this request, he deflated and fell forward. Sasuke ‘_oofed’_ when he hit the mattress, and kissed Naruto’s temple, stroked his back. “Don’t hate me. . !” he told him. Seriously, this kid was way more work than Sakura—some rebound he'd found.

“I only wanna make you happy, ya know. . !” Naruto said. Sasuke nodded sympathetically.

“You _do_ make me happy. . !”

“Well, I—!” He had to cool his temper. ”I don’t wanna make you _cry_. . ! Makes me feel—disgusting. . !” Sasuke thought he meant him; he could see it on his face. “No,” Naruto added quickly. ”Not you. . ! I didn’t mean it like that. . !”

“. . . I get it. You’re sweet. You really are—too sweet. . !” Sasuke shifted then, and Naruto backed up on his hands. “No, just—wait.” He let himself be pushed over. Sasuke had switched their positions, and was straddling him.

“_Hha_. . !” They both hissed at the deeper penetration, and Sasuke tossed his head back, burying his hands in his own hair while he bared down on Naruto. This view was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Sasuke was like a marble sculpture—he looked dramatic and seriously hot.

“_Fuck_. . !” Naruto breathed. He had to touch him. He realized he was being manipulated again, and couldn’t really help the smile tugging on his lips. Kid was devoted to the cause, that’s for sure.

Sasuke smiled back, and tilted his pelvis backwards and forwards with snapping application, making both of them moan. Naruto gripped the kid’s hips strongly and pulled him downwards, biting his lips and squeezing his eyes shut.

Honestly, he thought, what a mess. But damn. . . Just look at him!

“Naruto—” Naruto’s hands were pulled from Sasuke’s body, and pressed into the mattress over his head. He lost himself in surprise while Sasuke chuckled deeply at him. “—It’s better this way. If you want it slow, I can give you what you want.” He slowly gyrated his hips, locking gazes like he understood was wanted of him. “But it has to be on my terms. . !”

Naruto felt his mind go foggy with lust and feelings of guardianship. That story about the brain-wolves he’d told Sasuke came to mind.

Outside the window was a snowstorm, raging.

“_Sasuke_. . .” he blew his name out. The kid was moaning softly, panting with every painstakingly gentle movement.

Naruto could tell that it was difficult for him not to look away, and was therefore so enchanted by Sasuke’s efforts that he would’ve agreed to anything asked of him—that same horrible control the kid had always had over him was in full bloom. Naruto would’ve laughed (or cried) if he hadn’t been so thoroughly preoccupied with things.

“_I wanna cum inside you_. . !” He’d spoken his mind before he’d even decided to. Sasuke smirked and stopped moving. Naruto had an apology on the tip of his tongue.

Shit! Please, don’t get mad! he thought.

“You want to take the condom off?” Sasuke wasn’t mad at all.

“That’s _dumb_,” Naruto informed. “That is sooo dumb—but _yesss_. . !” Shit again! They’d already been acting plenty dumb, so what’s the harm.

With a chuckle, Sasuke stood on his knees, shuddering and with Naruto’s glistening cock falling away from his body, snapping to Naruto’s taut stomach. He stayed put, staring up in wonder at Sasuke.

No way. No fucking way is he going to actually. . .

Sasuke’s confident smirk widened, and he closed his fingers around Naruto’s dick, pulling the latex covering off and tossing it. Naruto moaned, his dick pulsing. Sasuke took it between his fingers, and aligned himself to sit on it.

No shitting way in hell was this happening.

“_Ha—ah_—oh—f-fuck. . !” He was actually stuttering—since when did he stutter? Sasuke locked eyes with him again as he slowly seated himself. Both of their mouths fell open.

Naruto halfway sat up, his sweaty body drawing Sasuke’s attention, as he grabbed the pale hips sitting heavy on top of him.

“Wait, wait, wait. . !” he mumbled, wheezing for half a minute. “Don’t—move!” He picked up on the kid’s playful impulse, and killed it before it could break free. Sasuke’s laughter was deep and mysterious. Naruto sank back into the mattress with a sigh and both hands lodged in his own hair. “Okay,” he said. “Go nuts. . !”

“It’s different like this,” the kid purred.

“Yeah. . ! _It is._ . !” He pulled hard on his hair, halfway to madness. “_Fuck_!” Uttering a cry of primal frustration, he gripped Sasuke’s ass violently and sat up again. “You better start fuckin’ moving—I’m ‘onna die like this. . !” This command was eagerly granted, and Sasuke rode him, his own dick jumping. Naruto looked down at where they were connected, and felt the motion drawing him in.

Then Sasuke stopped.

Naruto almost cried. His voice tore out of him. He was unhappy.

Sasuke laughed. Naruto opened his mouth and just shouted.

“The _fuck_!?” he managed. “_Wha—bu—SHIT_!”

“_Do me, daddy_. . !” Tossing Sasuke down on his back, he drove into him with all his might. This knocked a few more tears out of the kid; he must’ve been surprised. “I’m-sorry. . !” Naruto managed.

The kid was grinning though. Naruto had him in an iron grip, using force to bury himself as deeply as he could possibly get, pressing closer in eager pulses. The pleasure was unreal.

“_Haa. . ! Haa. . !_” It was just how he liked it. He wanted to crawl inside, hated pulling out even a little bit. “_Ghh! Hngh_!” Sasuke spread his legs as wide as they would go, and Naruto lifted them, moved them, and practically piledrived him, using his body like a thing. Sasuke’s mouth was fully open, and he both laughed and moaned every time his body was made to shudder.

“_Ah-hah! Ah! Hah!—_”

“_Sasu_—!” It was the greatest sexual pleasure Naruto had ever known.

When he came, he was shaking.

Sasuke shook too, coming in seams for the second time that night, uttering one long, tremulous moan that was utterly shameless. Naruto felt Sasuke’s muscles pulse around him, draining him dry and demanding more, and it stunned him into uselessness as far as brainpower was concerned.

It was a bleeding-in-the-brain orgasm. No sage mode awaited his afterglow, but plain old stupidity the likes of nothing.

He draped on top of Sasuke. The kid chuckled, patting his back.

“R’best,” Naruto mumbled into the sheets. “R’you ‘kay? Best—'ver had. . !” He kissed his pec and pulled him close, trying not to say ‘I love you’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was something like eighteen pages long, and I can explain: there wasn't a tease-free place to cut, leaving us with practically a twofer.
> 
> Right! I've got an acquaintance who happens to be Japanese. This week, I heard him tell a mutual friend about 'clam school' and I nearly passed out. It was the best thing I'd heard since 'everybody, crap your hands'.


	12. Another Turn of the Screw

Late that night, Sasuke was awake while Naruto wasn’t. He was in Naruto’s bed, and they were both still naked under the covers.

Sasuke’s entire body was sore thanks to his powerful lover. It pleased him like nothing else would. When he was in pain because of something Naruto did, Sasuke had no worries for his own safety. It was like taking all the memories and all the bruises of his father’s making, and turning them benign. That’s why he liked pain.

When Naruto had gone all—soft—on him before, Sasuke had hated it because it had made him feel dirty. The hand holding and the slowness (the eye contact more than anything!) made him feel absolutely sick.

It was because he couldn’t take being adored: no one had adored him in his life, at least, not that he could remember. It was something so intimate at this point, that it made him feel infantile—and feeling infantile mixed with feeling sexual gratification was what made him then feel like projectile vomiting.

Sasuke thanked the heavens for Naruto’s strong body that could dominate him so easily. When the guy had thrown him on his back and brutalized his insides before, he hadn’t even been able to breathe! He’d actually panicked by the end!

Sasuke slipped out of bed, kissed Naruto’s ass, then tiptoed to the bathroom.

Once there, he squinted under the bright light and stood on one leg, tearing the bandages off his feet. Then he put his soles under the running faucet, one at a time.

The cuts thereon were throbbing, ugly mouths that scowled at him. The water pressure made his nerves kick so that he was almost spastic, but Sasuke smiled because all that he could think about was that Naruto wanted them to live together.

Sasuke was delusional. When Naruto had come for him today, Naruto had ascended and become a superhuman hero. Now Sasuke was getting exactly what he wanted. Naruto couldn’t be more set than he was to shield him, and Sasuke figured that would be enough for his purposes.

The guy could kill Fugaku if need be.

Sasuke wondered if he’d ever even need to use his gun—his gun that he’d hidden under the shoe rack while Naruto was in the shower.

When he went back to bed, Naruto stirred as the mattress moved.

“Everything okay?” he rumbled drowsily. Sasuke crawled on top of him, smirking.

“Everything’s fine,” he answered. “Go back to sleep. . !” Naruto wrapped his arms around him and turned over. Sasuke fit right in, and thinking that everything would finally be alright, he slept soundly.

*

But the following morning, the great hero was up with the dawn. It was just him and the sun—and the big stare that he slowly lay down on Sasuke, who slept in his bed.

What have I done, he thought. He regretted it.

Then, when Sasuke had gotten up too, some time later, (of course neither of them had gone to school) Naruto busied himself throughout the day with dodging his advances. When dishing out beef stew for dinner, the kid, for the hundreth time, put himself way too close to Naruto. He retaliated by stepping aside in a very obvious way, and Sasuke looked like he’d been hit.

“Why you acting so weird, man?” Naruto tried to joke. He was by now frustrated enough to want to talk about it, and hoped he could avoid hurting the kid’s feelings. It was unlikely, though. He felt that. Sasuke bounced his attention around the kitchen.

“What?” he asked, sucking some juices off his thumb and setting his dish down on the table. “I’m not weird.” He was in Naruto’s clothes; even that felt too invasive for him. The washer was humming from the bathroom.

“Yeah, you are!” chuckled Naruto, joining him oppositely at the table. “Yer tryina touch me all the time.”

“_No_,” Sasuke smiled.

“Yeah. You are.”

“So, that’s not okay anymore?”

“Sure! But it’s different, is all I’m saying. Don’t chu think? Like it’s not about sex but more.” Naruto shoveled a helping of potatoes and meticulously cut meat into his mouth. This is how it is, he thought. I know I’ve confused you, and I'm sorry but here’s the line. He raised an eyebrow at Sasuke, chewing and waiting for a reply that wouldn't come. Sasuke looked to not understand.

“You know what I mean!” garbled Naruto through his mouthful then.

“And that’s—bad now again?” Sasuke became engrossed with his food. For a minute, Naruto let himself be annoyed by it. His look was flying from Sasuke’s plate, to his face and back again.

“I think we already talked about this,” he said.

“You don’t think anything’s changed since we talked?” Sasuke brushed his clean, damp hair back over his head. He was getting irritated.

“You mean cuz I asked you to move in? _Ha_!” Naruto laughed to himself and dug around his plate. Of course stuff has changed, he thought, that's the issue. “Nothing’s changed, Sasuke.”

“_What_!?” the kid blurted, loud of a sudden.

“Whattaya mean?”

“It’s not just about the ‘moving in’ part!”

“_Stop_!” Naruto snapped, his voice louder than he’d intended it to be. “And don’t give me that look. . !”

“What look?” Sasuke asked. “The kind of look that wants you to be honest!?”

“_Honest_?” Naruto couldn't blame the kid. He wasn’t sure himself what he meant by stuff half of the time, but being called a liar still pissed him off. He wasn't a liar, he just kept making mistakes!

“You can’t be serious. . !” Sasuke was becoming aware of Naruto's flaws, and it showed.

“What do you want me to say!?” Naruto dropped his knife and fork, then sat back in his chair, arms crossed. Working his tongue nervously for a while, he glared at Sasuke who only gaped.

“Why are you _angry_?” the kid, at last, wondered.

“Why? Gee, I don’t know! Why don’t chu tell me—since you've all the answers?”

“What the _hell_ are you talking about?”

“_Obviously_! You think you know what goes on inside my head, if you think anything’s diff'rent without even talking about it!”

“What—”

“See, I already told chu: nothing’s changed! An’ you still don’t get it! What do you want?”

“I _want_ last night! Things were sure as shit different then!”

“Don’t even go there; last night wasn’t anything. . !” Naruto stood up and rounded the table. Fuck this, he thought. He’d said enough for Sasuke to get that he should back off. Sasuke, on the other hand, didn’t see it that way. He turned around in his seat and proved this.

“’Don’t _go_ there’!?” he barked. “You can’t even talk about it!?”

“Look, get off my fucking back, alright!?” Naruto whipped around, clenching his fists. He had to strain himself not to start pointing and yelling at the dumbass.

“You said—”

“_BU_!” Naruto threw his hands up, interrupting the other with babble.

“—Come on! You—”

“_HAPPA! UH_!”

“—Don’t be ridiculous!—”

“_HAPPATCHEBU_!”

“—I KNOW YOU LOVE ME!” They were both startled at Sasuke yelling and flying from his chair. When Sasuke buckled under his own weight, Naruto threw himself to support him but was shrugged off. Well, how can he stand there like nothing's wrong with him, Naruto thought, when he must be in agony? “What else could last night possibly have been about?” Sasuke argued. “You can’t tell me you don't!”

“I just wanted to try something,” Naruto replied, neutrally, looking at the kid's feet. They were wrapped in toilet paper. It showed through the socks he’d borrowed.

“You _what_!?”

“It’s true, ya know!”

“Don’t bullshit me, Naruto!” cried Sasuke, incensed. “Like—is this what you usually do!? Is this what you’re like--when things aren’t going your way? You just insist and insist on some lie until people are too fucking tired of arguing with you that they just go away!?”

“If you wanna go, go,” Naruto mumbled, but his stomach dropped at the suggestion. He quickly added: “I mean—I don’t—want chu to go.” The kid made a face like he was losing his mind.

“What _am_ I to you in that case!?” he shouted.

“Yer my friend. . !”

“Oh, would you quit it with that shit!? I’m your _friend_, am I? Like that guy from last night? I’m like Kiba to you? You sleep with him a lot?”

“Knock it off. . ! You don’t need to bring it there.”

“Well, am I or am I not!?”

“No, of course yer not like _fucking Kiba_! He’s like—I’ve known him forever!”

“So did you make him ‘_feel what you feel for him’_ too—on his back in your bed!? Or was it the other way around with him?” Naruto felt a wave of anger well. Things weren't going his way. It was like Sasuke wanted to drive him crazy. Him having seen what Naruto had done to Kiba, though, the want made no sense to him.

“I never slept with _Kiba_! Who would!? _Shit_! The only guy I ever been with was you!”

“What made me so special then, _huh_? Since you don’t have feelings for me! You’ve been straight all your life—then you meet me and suddenly you’re down to do it with dudes? That how it went?”

“I—"

“You can’t explain it, can you? Or do you just not want to?”

“It was just the way you looked at me, alright!?” Naruto erupted, throwing his arms up. “You look at me like I’m—some kinda superhero! I feel like _garbage_ on the inside, ya know!?”

“Yeah, you don’t say!?”

“_Fuck _you!”

“You can’t admit it! You can’t admit that I just turn you on, can you!? You know, I always assumed—that you were just too scared to be upfront! That you hid behind this insistence on ‘no strings attached’—and the age-gap!—because you were scared about falling for me!

But now you want to tell me that ‘No! There was nothing to be read between the lines! We’re just friends who fuck!’—_like that kind of thing even exists_!”

“Look, _yer_ the one who said—I asked you!—that sex wouldn’t complicate things! Because I said I wouldn’t do it if feelings were gonna get involved!”

“How can you be stupid enough to ask someone that!?” Sasuke shouted. “You can fuck someone you don’t know and feel nothing, sure—but you can’t fuck someone you _do_ know and not feel _something_! Even I know that, and you’re the only one I’ve ever been with!”

Naruto stared for what felt like an eternity, and Sasuke’s face blanched until he was see-through. When Naruto’s voice finally sounded, even to himself, it cut the silence like a trumpet.

“Wait, what?”

“We—I—”

“I’m the only one you ever slept with?”

“N—no!”

“So you _have_ been with other people before?”

“Yes!”

“Who?”

“_Uh_—”

“WHO!?" Screaming this, he advanced one frightful step. "Tell me their name or I swear to God, Sasuke!” The kid just blubbed at him. “Yer fucking _lying to me_. . !” Naruto was understanding Sasuke now. “I don’t believe you,” he gasped. “You’ve been lying this whole—you were a—you let me take yur _virginity_!?” Insight gained, he retreated in horror. “You—wha—!?”

“I was going to tell you. . !” Sasuke followed, all his anger gone.

“SHUT IT!” Naruto's heart was beating very fast. He felt lightheaded. “You fucking liar! Don’t say a god damned word more!” Sasuke double-facepalmed. “It was just to get chur way, then? You just wanted it that badly? I told chu I wouldn’t do it! Well!? Answer me!”

“Which is it!?” Sasuke hissed, looking up from his hands. “’Shut up’! ‘Answer’! What!? _Yes_! _Of course,_ I wanted it! Fucking obviously. . !”

“Sasuke—don’t get the wrong idea. . ! You took advantage of me for sex, and while I’m not the kinda person who really gives a damn, that’s a messed up thing to do. . !”

“Just because you thought I’d had sex before!? What difference does it make!?”

“_SHH_!”

“Don’t _SHH_ me! Go _SHH_ yourself!”

“Just—! _Mm_!” Naruto stooped, searching for strength. “Listen! I know you don’t like it when I treat chu like a kid, but right now—man—yer _really_ acting like one! You done wrong by me, but the one you really fucked over is yourself, ya know!”

“Well, leave the deciding up to me. . !” Naruto sucked a breath in through his teeth, then he said:

“Yer still not getting the full picture!” Now he was reeling up. He was going to hit Sasuke as hard as he fucking could—right in the teeth. “You think this is all about me secretely being in love with you,” he said. “But I’m telling you: yer wrong. _None of this_ has been special to me! Exactly none of it!” Sasuke shook his head and laughed. “Kid! Yur _first time_!”

“Was yours like—super special or something? What is it with you?” He was hugging himself closely.

“Wait, so—how long have you known you were in love with me, then? And don’t fucking lie again, alright, cuz it’s enough! Going by all of this that chur saying, you’ve been having these feelings for a while, right? Since--long before you told me yesterday. . .So--_b__efore_ we hooked up?” The kid looked blank for a moment, then he licked his lips. He answered:

“I thought you knew. . ! I told you in the car. . !” Naruto’s jaw dropped.

“Oh, for fu—I thought chu meant _since we started fucking_!”

“No!”

“What--the--hell!? Alright, yer right! Thing's're sure different! Cuz _this--_it makes all the difference in the world, kid! How’d chu think I was gonna help you like this!?”

“Stop calling me that. . !” Sasuke rubbed his head.

“You can’t even think straight, can you!? Everything I ever said’s been like butterflies! From now on, you’nd I are gonna be keeping a solid six feeto space between us; that’s gonna be rule number one--and rule number two: you stay—here! Alright? Yer not going back to that sack o’ crap you call a dad! Rule number three:—and this is a big one--fall out of love with me! Right now! It’s inappropriate!”

“’_Inappropriate’_!”

“Yeah, ‘inappropriate’! You got a problem!?”

“You’re acting like I’m—like—fourteen!”

“You might as well be right now!”

“If you don’t want to be with me, then just say so!”

“I don’t wanna be witchu!” Sasuke looked utterly bewildered when he heard this, and Naruto made sure not to look the same as him. He couldn't deal with this. He meant what he said, but it wasn't true. The kid stuttered:

“What? So—so it really meant—just—nothing?”

“Didn’t mean a thing,” Naruto confirmed.

“_No-thing_?”

“It was just fucking to me. Sasuke, this is what chu did to yourself. I have to be harsh witchu now, or you’ll never understand!” The kid was terrifying Naruto. Last night, he’d felt the rein that had been put on him little by little, and he felt it still. “So—I’m onna go for a drive.”

“What!” the kid sobbed, sounding more confused than ever. “No! You’re lying! You do love me! You have to!”

“Let go of me. . !” Naruto pushed Sasuke’s hands off of himself as he was grabbed, but he couldn’t look at him anymore. Maybe it's okay? he thought. Maybe he was doing the right thing. Sasuke had been in love with him from the start? The fact made him queazy. He couldn't reciprocate. He just couldn't: it would be a disaster. There would also be all the wrath of Hell to pay, though, if anyone so much as lay a hard look on Sasuke again. Naruto would make sure of it.

The kid loved him somehow. Naruto, who realized he couldn't help him, would at least protect him. He would do this monstrously.

“Wait! Naruto, I’m _sorry_!”

“I don’t wanna talk anymore. . ! Just leave me and my fucked up thoughts alone. . !”

“_They’re not fucked up_. . !”

“Don’t be gone by the time I get back,” Naruto ordered, pulling on his jacket in the hall. He knew the kid was a runner, and he really understood why. Still, he had to run himself right now, and didn't want to risk the kid getting hurt while he was gone. Sasuke clung to him, inconsolably demanding Naruto stayed. “You’ll just be making my life more difficult. . !" With these words, Naruto slipped loose, and quickly left Sasuke all alone.

*

He waited up for Naruto to come back. He waited for hours. While they passed, he sat by the kitchen table, staring out the window, looking for a shock of blonde hair and a distorted gait. He cried the whole time. He couldn’t make himself stop. It was like his insides had dislodged, and were out of their proper place, just splashing around in there. It was all wrong.

Rescue had been his, and in the end it hadn't saved but eviscerated him. Was everything a weapon? Was there truly no salvation?

He couldn’t stay where he was. His dignity wouldn’t allow it, not if Naruto didn’t love him.

If everything indeed was a weapon and there was no relief, then he would take his own weapon and he would dash himself with it against all else. At least that way, if he were destroyed he would never be hurt again, and that was a relative of relief's. It would have to do.

He had to go back home, then. He wasn’t scared of it anymore because he was sad instead, and sadness overpowers fear.

If he waited from exhaustion or the need to say ‘goodbye’, he didn’t know. Sasuke stayed by the kitchen table for some reason, though, that is certain, having already recounted in his mind where all his things were so that he could go get them when he wanted. He proceeded to wait just until Naruto came back.

*

It was late. Naruto had been out for many hours, and now the world was black.

He shut the front door quietly behind himself, then listened for any proof of Sasuke's presence. The apartment was silent however. With a suspicious frown, he hung up his jacket and took off his shoes, already leaning into the motion of going in the kitchen to have a look. The shoe rack rattled when he accidentally kicked it.

After he’d left earlier, he’d gotten in his car and driven to a make-out-point that overlooked The City. That's where he'd spent the day. He’d sat thinking and dozing until the moon was already up.

What he’d figured out was: that he forgave Sasuke for lying, if he could only forgive himself for how he felt about him.

He understood why he'd done it. Why he'd lied about being an experienced lover, about sending that video to Hinata, about not being in love, wasn't difficult to grasp for Naruto. Really, if their roles were reversed, he probably would’ve told the same lies himself. It was unlikely he would've done the video thing (that’s pretty far out), but he was of a more or less similar mind. It wasn't flattering, but he got that now.

Once upon a time, Naruto hadn’t had a problem with keeping things casual even in intimate relationships. He’d at some point lost that ability, at least in this case. Maybe he was getting clingy with age. The point was that there was no way he could ‘pretend’ to make love to someone, like Sasuke had guessed he couldn't. Naruto had become, somewhere along the way, completely honest—which is why he insisted on lying.

It was natural that he couldn’t hide his anger: he was already an open book.

Naruto had understood a second thing: Sasuke didn’t want a boyfriend, he wanted a father-figure, and that’s exactly what he’d had been trying to make out of Naruto.

When he’d first seen Sasuke, he really hadn’t been worried. And why would he have been? He’d had no idea, and no way of knowing what kind of person Sasuke would turn out to be. Naruto had never felt anything but lethargy at meeting with people who seemed like him—you know, those who seem fucked up. Thinking he knew what he was in for (like the manly man that he was) he’d taken a steep plunge without even stopping himself. Maybe Kiba, and Sakura and everyone were right: he was just rebounding with someone vulnerable.

Sneaking into the kitchen, Naruto was relieved to find Sasuke slumped in a chair at the table. He was sleeping. The plates they'd left sitting were pushed aside, and a plastic bagful of used tissues hung on the backrest.

Naruto walked up to him. He was so happy to see him that he sagged, surprising himself. Sasuke’s breathing was slow and even. The skin around his eyes was red and swollen where it wasn't bruised. What Sasuke's father had started, Naruto had by some cruel twist of fate come to finish. The sympathy he felt in this moment was staggering. The self-loathing was worse.

Naruto pulled back, closing the hand he'd raised to touch Sasuke.

He went directly to the couch and turned on the TV, putting it on low. Laying down on his ‘bed of admitting fault’ he wrapped himself up in it. He then exhaled deeply, and could relax.

The moon was bright, and Naruto pulled the covers over his head.

*

“_Please_!” Sasuke jerked awake. A nightmare. Looking around and seeing where he was, he was immediately calm. Shortly thereon, he froze as he remembered what had happened recently.

Naruto didn’t love him.

Sasuke's father was looking for him, and would do one of two things: either kill him, or send him to Uncle Tobi. Sasuke didn't know which was worse.

He looked out the window. It was completely dark.

Wanting to be through with waiting, he stood up and searched the apartment. In the living room, he found Naruto asleep on the couch. The lump of him snoozed, and only his bad foot was sticking out from under the covers.

Shifting his weight for a while, Sasuke committed that foot to memory. Afterwards, he got changed and collected his things—last of which lay plainly on the floor in the hall.

*

While Naruto slept, several things changed, none of which having asked his permission to do so. When he awoke, he did it with a sniff and a sense of foreboding. Raising his head, he thought what he did every day, namely: ‘It hurts,' but then a new thought followed: ‘Where’s Sasuke?’ and this blew up like a firecracker in his bed.

Shooting to his elbows, he stared out the window. That’s when he began to really feel disoriented. What time was it? It wasn't day, nor was it night. A half-light shone outside, the last of the sun’s presence, still warm on the horizon. He'd slept all day, and it was twilight. Things were in a state of flux. Naruto turned his head, looking out at the quiet apartment.

“Sasuke?” No one answered him, so he swung his feet over the side of the couch quickly. When he stood up, that tendon in his foot got pinched between the bones in his rolling ankle joint and stuck there.

“_AHG_!” He sank to the floor, plenty of the muscles in his leg ceasing to work. “SSSHIT! God—_Ahh_—damn it!” He held his hands protectively around his ankle, and fought the pain and misery that threw him. Tossing his head back, he glared at the air in front of himself. Not now! he thought. I don't have time for this bullshit! Sasuke might be _gone_!

With a roar of frustration, he pulled himself off the floor and started hopping. He put on his jacket and his shoes, then made his pathetic way down the clamorous stairs. Every step felt like someone was cutting him apart with scissors. Sasuke’s bland expression, as he’d walked around on those toilet paper feet all day, came to Naruto’s mind and blew it.

“_Kh_! Fuck. . !” He hobbled across the parking lot, getting gawked at by some dudes out with their dogs. Naruto cursed at them. “WHAT’RE YOU LOOKIN’ AT!? YOU NEVER SEEN A RETARD BEFORE!?” Chucking himself in his car, he didn’t pay attention to them or their hunched over apology.

The car roared to life, and Naruto took off at a break-neck speed out of the lot. Changing the gears fluidly, he floored his one working foot and prayed he wouldn’t need to brake suddenly.

“God fucking damn it, Sasuke. . ! I told chu to stay put! Why can’t you just understand _what I mean_ when I say stuff. . !?” If it helped, he’d go religious—or whatever! Just so long as that stupid kid was safe. He'd do anything, anything at all!

Turning the wheel, Naruto narrowly avoided getting hit by a blaring Saab.

*

The very base of the little hill Sasuke’s house sat on got torn up. After the wheels of Naruto’s car had, in a plume of upheaval, rid it of snow, the bare streak left behind was gutted.

Naruto pulled the handbrake, unbuckled his belt and lunged outside, locking the car over his shoulder.

As he climbed the hill like a fucking monkey on his hands and knees, he looked out for any sign of bloodshed.

He made it to the front door, tugged violently on the handle, finding it locked. So, he banged his fists. There was no answer, and he put his ear on the door. There was nothing. He dashed his fists again, this time with even more force but still—nothing.

“_Fuck_!” A curtain fluttered in the corner of his eye, and Naruto felt his urgency twofold.

“Sasuke!” he yelled, flying over. “Sasuke, are you in there!? Open this goddamned door! Don’t chu dare hurt him, you hear that!? Open this door right the fuck now, or I’ll break every last window you got to get in and once I do—! YOU DEAF, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!? OPEN! THIS! DOOR!” The door remained shut, and Naruto proved that he was as good as his word. One of the twin marble pots, duetting on the veranda, was used to destroy the window with the fluttering curtain. Naruto followed this canon ball like another.

Inside the house, to the left of him and just by the door was Fugaku Uchiha. There was a nastiness about his rage that Naruto had never seen, but he wouldn’t falter just for that. Naruto straightened up, and he approached.

“Where is he?” he then barked, looking over Fugaku’s head.

“Get out of my house. . ! There’s nothing for the likes of you here!” The old man was imposing, alright. With the kind of presence you would expect from a judge or some other hardass, Fugaku, even so, got no more obedience from it in this instance than he would’ve from boxing gloves. Naruto drew up to his full height and stared down. He then took a quick step, and didn’t have to do anything but brush Fugaku aside. The old man couldn’t stop him.

When comparing Sasuke to his dad, Naruto realized that they were very similar in many ways. This wasn’t surprising in itself, but that Sasuke, who was so crafty, could be lodged under the thumb of someone his own size was. Naruto in particular struggled to understand it.

The jerk himself spoke at him then, and while Naruto didn’t get gobbledygook he got that he was being told to piss off—as if he would.

He took a look around the mansion and scoffed, then spat:

“I asked you a question! If you’ve hurt him or yer keeping him locked up somewhere, I’ll make sure you pay for it, ya _shit_!” Fugaku answered him first of all with only louder gibberish. Then he got a twist in the mouth that Naruto recognized, followed by a violent attack. This attack propelled itself at Naruto’s chest, and he shuffled his feet from it.

It was the first time in his adult life that anyone had put their hands on him like that. It was also a welcome problem.

Naruto shot gladly forward, and returned the offense in an exaggerated show of strength. Sasuke’s dad was knocked off balance. He stumbled back first into the wall, tearing down a picture whose glass cover shattered on the stone flooring.

The face he lifted up thereupon was blank—Naruto’s, combative.

“You getting up?” he asked. When his question went unanswered, he tightened his fists and stepped in the glass. “Then, _stay there_. . !” He gave Fugaku a warning look before bounding up the stairs, to the best of his ability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya'll enjoyed now ;>


	13. At the End of the Day, Thank You for Trying

“Sasuke! Sasuke!” The upstairs was misleading. Naruto didn’t know where the hell he was going, but would search every last room he found, for sure. At the top of the stairs, he had found a three-pronged fork, all of which led to white doors, and all shut. “_Sasuke_!” He just started somewhere down the left way, and opened doors as he passed them, all empty.

What if Sasuke had already been sent to Japan; maybe the ass downstairs had a private jet! If that were the case, ultimately it would be Naruto’s fault—something he didn't want to accept, and couldn’t forgive.

The very last door was found, and Naruto had already resigned himself to going back the way he came when he chanced to see that it wasn’t shut at all, but standing ajar. He jumped. A streak of blood was on the post.

Reiterating denial, he yanked the door open once he could reach it, and the knob imbedded itself in the wall with a _crack!_

There he was. Sasuke was there!

Sitting on a bed right ahead, all dressed in black and fully sleeved, Sasuke was dazzling even spotted in blues. He didn’t move from the bed but turned around, confused.

His left hand had been under his jacket, touching his back, but he put it in his lap now. It was empty.

Naruto threw himself into the room. There, he gathered Sasuke up in his arms and buried his face in his hair. He’d never been so relieved before.

“Why didn’t chu answer me!? I’ve been calling yur name! Din'chu hear it!?”

“What’re you doing here?” Sasuke whispered. “Why did you come?” He didn’t return the embrace.

“_’Why’_!? I came to get chu!”

“But why?”

“Because I told chu not to leave and you didit anyway!” He pulled back to look at the kid’s face. “Why’d chu do something stupid like that?” Sasuke squinted at him, and said:

“So, if you tell me to do something, I have to obey? If I don’t, I’m stupid. That how it is?”

“N-No! Coming back _here_ is what’s stupid, ya know! You get that! Right?” Sasuke was quiet, and he looked at some fancy window next to them. Naruto looked too. It had been nailed shut, he saw.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke said.

“My ass, it doesn’t matter! Of course it matters! That psycho downstairs got nothing good cooking for you, alright? Trust me; I can tell!”

“You think I need you, to know what my own father is thinking?”

“It’s just bad!”

“I know it’s _bad_. . ! Guess what else it is? None of your business!” Sasuke forced Naruto to let go of him, and Naruto didn’t want to believe it. “Just—_get out of here_!”

“I’m not leaving without chu!” He took Sasuke’s hand in his, and the kid just stopped. He lowered his face, bared his teeth and shouted:

“_No_!” tearing free. “It’s done with! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!”

“Would you not talk crazy right now, and just let me get chu outa here!?”

“Get _yourself_ out of here! What do you care!?” Naruto didn’t move, because he didn’t think he could be interpreting things correctly. Sasuke couldn’t want him to go. “Go!” Go without him?

“Stop!” he said. “I’m taking you with me whether you like it or not! Now, c’mon!” This time he wouldn’t let go of Sasuke’s hand. The kid started screaming and resisting like he was trying to kill him.

By the time they were approaching the staircase, Sasuke switched to pleading.

“You don’t understand,” he insisted. “You don’t get it. . ! I don’t want it anymore. . ! I don’t want to be with you, and I don’t want you to come here. . !”

“_Tough_!” Naruto knew he sounded angry, but he was only sad. He wondered if the kid knew him well enough to tell the difference.

They went down the stairs laboriously, not just because of Sasuke’s incessant tugging in reverse. This tugging, be it said, ceased unexpectedly.

“Are you okay?” Sasuke wondered.

“. . . I’m fine.” It was about the foot. It had to be. Naruto’s cheeks burned.

At the bottommost step, Fugaku was waiting for them. He blocked the landing with both arms extended, and was looking rabid.

“_Musukoyo_. . !” he said.

Naruto jerked when Sasuke dug his heels into place. Looking at him, he saw that the kid had gone pale as a sheet. He was shaking his head back and forth, replying something in that language Naruto didn’t know.

“Get outa the way,” Naruto told Sasuke’s dad. The old man was ignoring him in favor of staring at his son without any pretense. There was nothing but hatred, and on full display. Naruto felt sick. “You can say ‘goodbye’ to yur son,” he snapped. “Cuz you ain’t seeing him ever again!”

“Let go of me. . ! Please, let go—let go. . !” Sasuke was trying to pry Naruto’s fingers away, but failed to. “Let go of me. . !”

“Sasuke. . !” Naruto said. “Let me help you. . !” The kid’s head shot up, looking absolutely terrified. Their eyes met.

*

“_Son! If you take one step outside this house, not only will you be sent home but I’ll make sure your criminal friend pays for his disrespect!”_ Sasuke was shaking, with anger, with fear and everything in between.

What the hell was Naruto doing here, anyway? He’d made himself clear the day before, so what could he possibly want still? Whatever it was, he was certainly willing to pay in order to get it.

Sasuke had a look at the mess all over the floor. Brute! he thought, touched and bewildered.

But the invasion for his sake besides, he’d ended up in a position where he couldn’t please neither his father nor Naruto. One locked the doors to keep Sasuke contained, the other broke the windows to get him out—but Sasuke couldn’t do either because the issue wasn’t about closed doors or opened windows!

“_Enough already,”_ he mumbled. He was sick of being pushed and pulled. “_Enough—with the threats! I can’t take it anymore!_”

“_The one who’s had enough is I! No more of this, my foolish son! Tell this person to leave, and go back upstairs. Don’t, and I’ll see that he suffers!”_

_“You’ll make him ‘suffer’!? He’s got nothing to do with you! He’s an American citizen; you can’t hurt him like me, or Itachi or Mother!”_

“_Is that what you think? Son, your father is an influential person. I can do what I want to whomever I want! The commonalty is no more trouble than the dirt under my shoe.”_

_“I hate you. . !”_

_“Ungrateful child. . ! How can you stand feeling so sorry for yourself?”_

_“I want—I want to be free of you! I want my own life, one where I’m not beaten and berated!”_

_“Well, don’t stutter like an idiot! Think of what you want to say, then say it with confidence!”_

_“I said: let me go!”_ At this shrill defiance from Sasuke, his father took a step up on the stairs. Naruto, however, that same instant threw his hand out, and grabbed Fugaku by the front of his sweater. Sasuke heard the expensive fabric rip and he gasped, bowing reflexively.

Fugaku stared. He fought Naruto for a moment, trying to make him let go but without any luck. Sasuke looked at Naruto’s profile in awe. Fugaku bore his attention back into his son as he was being shoved off the stairs, and only once down again released.

_“You’re an unruly child!” _he yelled_. “Unruly children need disciplining!”_

_“I’m not a child,” _Sasuke answered in a small voice. Then with outrage, he pulled himself tall and dared to say:_ “I’m a man!”_

_“Hahaha! You are, when I say you are!”_

_“I don’t need your permission, Father! I’m a man when _I_ say I am! Not you!”_

_“Is that so?” _Fugaku gave Naruto a dirty look, and the guy tilted his head at him.

“Don’t even think about it. . !” Naruto bit out.

“_We’ll see_,” Fugaku said. Sasuke advanced, and stepped down unto the ground floor. Naruto followed, his hand still strong around Sasuke’s.

“Back up.” Sasuke’s father did back up, and it was crazy to see.

_“You want to know why he cares so much about me?” _Sasuke erupted, brimming with excitement. _“It’s because he’s my lover!” _Fugaku’s expression turned slack. He looked at Naruto now with shock and then with hatred. Naruto made a sound, one like a half-chuckle, half-gasp.

_“You’ve let yourself be sodomized? By this delinquent?”_

_“He’s not a delinquent!”_

_“It’s this godforsaken country!_” Fugaku ripped a tasteful watercolor study of a Shinto shrine off the wall, and threw it on the floor. “_Smitten by hedonists! My own blood! Spoiled! _God bless America!” He kicked over a large vase, spilling the dirt and crushing the yellow chrysanthemum underfoot. “_It’s corrupted both of my sons, but I won’t let it continue! You’re going home, son of mine! This foolishness ends _now_!” _Promising these things, he dove for Sasuke like a gust of wind and tripped him on the stairs. Naruto gave a shout, and tore Fugaku off him by the collar.

The old man went stumbling around the hall, slipping in the dirt and the glass. He looked so monstrous with anger now, that he may well have, with one prolonged shriek, crawled out from under the house originally; and were it not only for how clean he was, one would’ve thought he had.

Sasuke scrambled to stand, hanging on to Naruto’s arm. He didn’t know how to thank him for what he’d just done.

“Get up,” Naruto told him.

“You!” Fugaku yelled, furious, pirouetting and scarlet. “Leave! Now!”

“I’ll leave, alright! And I’m taking Sasuke with me!”

“You will not take my son away from here! Out!”

“I sure as shit ain’t leaving him here, if that’s what chu think! Sasuke! Come on!” But for all of Naruto’s willingness to help and his power, it wasn’t enough to release the grip of fear on Sasuke’s heart.

“I can’t. . !” he said. Naruto’s face darkened.

“Now’s the moment you’ve been waiting for!” he said. “Don’t let it go to waste just cuz yer too scared to make a move! I’m right here! Let’s get chu out!”

“I—it’s not that easy! And you don’t want me! Where will I go? You said you didn’t. . !”

“What?” Naruto looked embarrassed, and there was an explanation on his lips that Fugaku removed. “That—"

“No!” Sasuke yelled. But his father already had Naruto in a headlock, and was pulling him backwards. “I knew it. . ! _I can’t_. . !” Fugaku’s right arm was around Naruto’s throat, and he was flexing as hard as he could, trying to choke him out.

They scrambled, cursing and spitting at each other. Naruto clawed at Fugaku’s arm to no use. He tried to elbow him, but Fugaku was too lithe. Naruto turned away from the stairs, going piping red very quickly.

_“It’s my fault for resisting. . !”_ Sasuke told himself.

His father was like a demon riding the back of Sasuke's hopes and dreams, strangling them. Naruto would pass out, and then everything would be over. Sasuke knew it was the way of the world and of his life, how it had always been. But, no matter how normal it was, he’d always suffered from it. And it was because of suffering that he’d ran, that he’d found a companion; it was the catalyst to how his own rebellion had unified with another and grown. Suffering validates resistance.

Everything in him went dark—Sasuke already knew that he was going to fight back, but now he understood that _he was right to!_—then everything turned gloriously bright.

_“DIE!”_ With a roar, he raced forwards on broken feet and threw himself at his father. Sasuke scratched him in the eye, and tore his hair out. Fugaku cursed and pushed him away, causing him to hit his head on the floor. “_AHG_!”

Imagine deciding to be despicable for the sake of defending yourself, imagine the shame; to come to terms with the fact that you are hateful to the rest of mankind because of your selfishness, only to realize that you are in fact spectacular, and not hated, but saluted.

Sasuke’s attack had been of help. Because of Fugaku’s loosened grip, Naruto managed to get his hand between Fugaku’s bicep and his own throat. His blood supply was no longer impinged; he could breathe again, and so drank in the air. Then he bent over, throwing Sasuke’s father like a sack to the floor. Fugaku flopped like a fish, was then still. Naruto himself tottered, touching his throat. He heaved a dry cough and hurried to where Sasuke was laying.

Sasuke held up his hand and Naruto took it.

“Sasuke, baby—‘re you okay. . ?” His voice was shredded.

“Yeah, I’m okay. . ! Just a little—nauseous. . !” He was pulled to his feet.

“Yer bleeding. . !” Fugaku was just now starting to moan and complain about the pain he was in. Sasuke sneered at him, barely knowing where his own legs where at. “Come!” Naruto said, and Sasuke finally agreed with him.

*

It was dark out.

This time Sasuke was (at the very least) properly dressed for hurrying down the steps of the veranda. When he and Naruto were halfway down the hill, they heard Fugaku behind them on the platform.

“_Wait! Wait, son! You mustn’t go!”_ Sasuke had to stop. Nothing was over with. He had to make sure Fugaku stopped too. Biting back bile, he turned slowly for his elevated father. Naruto pulled on his sleeve.

“Sasuke!” he hissed. Sasuke touched his own forehead and found blood. He glowered at it and made a fist.

“_Mustn’t I?” _he then called. _“What more must I not do for your sake, Father? Live? Die? You’ve tormented me all my life! You forced me to grieve for Mother and Older Brother like it’s my fault they’re gone! Are they even still alive!?”_

_“Of course! (gasp) Of course, they’re alive!” _Fugaku was bent over, touching the small of his back and looking about a hundred years old. _“You think I could harm a single hair on either of their precious heads?” _he asked_. “I love my family! It’s all for your sake! Can’t you understand why I want you to act a certain way? I’m trying to leave you with an inheritance!”_

_“You’re a _psychopath_! You’ve treated me like an adult since I was a baby, and you treat adults like human waste!”_

_“You need to know the proper way of expressing yourself, son! That’s all I’m trying to teach you! I know—you’re unhappy, and it pains me! You’re like me! I’ve always felt that you and I are so alike!”_

_“I’m nothing like you. . !” _Fugaku came down from the veranda, and Sasuke stood his ground even when Naruto pulled on him.

“Sasuke, let’s go! You don’t have to listen to him!”

“Be quiet, Naruto. You don’t know what’s going on here.”

_“You hooligan! You’ve tarnished my son!” _With a surprising feat of strength, Fugaku leapt and wrenched Naruto to the ground._ “Perverted, damned troglodyte!” _he howled.

Naruto simply got back up again, none the worse for wear. And when he was like this—Sasuke studied him next to his father—the comparison was really laughable. Naruto was huge next to Fugaku. He was springy and strong, while Fugaku was stiff and weak.

In a way, they were the same person.

Sasuke saw his chance, and screamed:

“Get him, Naruto! Hit him!” Naruto looked at Sasuke like he didn’t speak English, as did his father. “Knock him out! Do something! Please! Just—_kill him!—_so he won’t come after me anymore!”

“’Killim’? I—I can’t do _that_!”

“Why not!? The world—deserves mayhem, right!? There’s your Olympian!” Sasuke pointed his finger straight, and Fugaku lay a look of fear on Naruto; surely, he could see the pitchforks and the torches behind him. “He’s laughing at you! He’s taking money from the poor, and sticking it in his own already stuffed pockets! And he does it laughing!”

“But I can’t just _killim_! What’re you saying!?”

“Then beat him up!” Sasuke insisted. “Give him a taste of his own medicine! Look at what he’s done to me! Don’t you care!?”

“Of course I care. . !” Naruto shook his head at the old man, and Fugaku raised his hands, cowering before him.

“Do you!? If I leave here without making sure he won’t try to fucking _repossess me_, I’m _dead_! I might as well be dead then! You obviously don't care at all!”

“Ya know—I hate to think that yer the one who never cared,” Naruto said somberly, his attention still fixed on Sasuke’s father. “'Get him,' you say, like I'm a dog or something. ’Was it always about this’? That’s the kinda thing I’m wondering right now.”

“Why can’t you just _do something_—when it’s so easy for you!?”

“Did you ever want my help? Or did you just wanna use me for wanting to help you?” Sasuke felt repelled. No, Naruto wasn’t just some bane he’d kept around like a secret weapon—not completely! He was more like the Afterlife, if there is a god and if they are merciful.

Naruto chuckled sadly.

“For fuck’s sake,” he said. “And I _still_ can’t bring myself to dislike you! No wonder all my relationships go to hell. I’m an idiot. . !”

“So—after all, you’re fine with being a blood bag, just another fucking delicacy for the rich to suck dry?” Naruto snorted and didn’t answer him. “You definitely won’t help me?” Sasuke asked.

“Not like this, Sasuke.” The inert commonalty were looking upwards, with eyes far away and wondering. The stars blinked down on him. He sighed wearily. “But I _will_ help you! If you just come with me, it’ll be okay. I promise!” That instant, Sasuke roared.

“_Stay away from me!_” Fugaku had made an unwarranted movement, and it was something his son couldn’t ignore. Both Naruto and Fugaku threw their hands up. _“Don’t you—ever—fucking come near me again!” _Sasuke had his gun, and this he aimed with menace.

“Sasuke, put the gun down. . !” Naruto breathed. “Where’d you get that!?”

“You gave it to me, idiot! Don’t you remember?” Sasuke replied, aiming and wiping the blood out of his eye. “I’m going to shoot him—”

“What! Don’t!” Naruto exclaimed.

“—I’m going to kill him, and after I’ll be free! I—won’t be anybody’s blood bag! Not ever again. . !”

“If you do this, ya know, it won’t go how you think!” Naruto continued. “Please, just come with me instead!”

“_Ha_!”

“You don’t have to kill him! If you do, you’ll just go to jail, or—_shit!_—we murder murderers, don’t we? Sasuke, I’m begging you to listen to me! I know I did you wrong before, I was just scared myself; I didn’t know how to treat you right—”

“You don’t need to treat me at all; it isn’t about you!

It never was: it’s about _me_! What _I_ would need to do!

On your fucking knees, _Tousama_! tte kono okama!”

Fugaku obeyed. He stayed on his knees, and his tears weren’t half as satisfying to see as Sasuke had hoped. This made him more resolute to pull the trigger.

“Yer right! Yer right!” Naruto declared then. “To me, it _is_ all about chu! Sasuke—I was rough witchu because I thought it’s what you needed! Thanks to this shithead here and my own idiocy, I had all kinds of ideas as to how to take care of you! But it was all bullshit! Forget ‘mayhem’! Forget everything bad I ever said! I’m just someone who loves you, okay? I just—wanna be witchu!”

Sasuke’s arms shook. He said:

“You’re the one who should forget, Naruto. . ! I thought you wanted me around, but—that’s over with now. I know how to solve my own problems, and I don’t need you anymore. . !”

“So, it was all just to use me then?”

“If that’s what you want to think, why don’t you cry about it?” Naruto snorted at him, saying:

“I mean, still. . . I don’t mind being used by you. I always sorta figured. But like you said: you can’t—do that kinda thing, and not feel something! Well I—I don’t mind, I just can’t hurtchu, though!”

“If you’re saying you want to please me, Naruto, then kindly ‘_get off my fucking back’ _right now! Call it a _rule_!”

“That’s fair! We’re both liars, right!? But I still can’t just get off yur back—even to make you happy—because yer not thinking! This thing yer tryina do will getchu hurt worse than ever!”

“You don’t know—_half_!—of how much this fucking asshole’s hurt me!”

“Yer right! But chur making a mistake! Look, I may be a bullshitter but—did I ever take it back after saying I wanted you to live with me? I’m shifty, I know, you got no reason to believe me but—but, please, just do it anyway! Let’s go home! Just—trust me one more time. . !”

“_Kh_. . !” Sasuke did believe that Naruto was being earnest, and it comforted him. But his father would never let him go, and love couldn’t change that. Violence, on the other hand, could. “I don’t have a home anymore,” Sasuke said ominously. He aimed down the sight of his gun, lining up his father’s forehead between the pegs. “_I’m throwing everything away_. . !”

“No!” Naruto stepped in front of him that moment, and Sasuke’s heart nearly exploded with fear as he’d almost just fired. He screamed at the idiot to:

“MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!”

“FORGET IT! I won’t letchu do this!” Naruto put himself right in front of Sasuke’s gun, and he got so close that the mouth of it nudged him in the chest. He looked down, afraid.

“Just move. . !?” Sasuke breathed.

“Sasuke—if you kill yur dad, the person you are right now will change and never go back to normal. . ! You’ll make yourself insane if you do it. . ! And, ya know, maybe it doesn’t matter a whole lot to you—I don’t know—but—it does to me. It does to me. . !”

“You want me again now. . ?”

“Sasuke—”

“Not just because I’ve got a gun, right. . ?” Sasuke’s smirk trembled, he knew that. He was angry at Naruto for getting involved, even though he’d asked for it.

“I always wanted you. That’s the truth.”

“_Ha_!” Sasuke’s bottom lip quivered, and made him mad. “But you still don’t understand me. . ! I can’t go on living like this!” Fugaku suddenly made a grief stricken sound. Naruto’s jaw dropped at the same time that Sasuke’s did, when Sasuke’s finger along with the weapon twitched between them. It hadn’t gone off, though. Naruto wrapped his fingers around the barrel, like that would protect him.

“Careful, kid. . !” he said, pale in the face. “Don’t forget about me. . !”

“Do you _want_ to die?”

“No. . !”

“. . . I have to free myself. . ! I’m sorry, I—”

“You _are_ freeing yourself—if you’d just trust me one more time. . !”

Sasuke didn’t decide to trust Naruto on his word that everything would somehow work out okay. He didn’t choose to relax his grip on the gun or to lose focus, but he did. It was only for a split second, but it was enough for Naruto to grab him by the hand and sidestep him. He twisted Sasuke’s hand so hard that Sasuke could feel the bones in his forearm creaking, and he immediately went limp, stooping to the ground.

“AH!” Naruto took the gun, then stooped with him and pulled Sasuke into a one-armed hug, kissing his head and apologizing feverishly.

“I’m-sorry-I’m-sorry-I’m-sorry. . !” Sasuke held his left forearm to his chest. It ached deeply. Naruto was checking the gun before hiding it away in his jacket. “Safety was on,” he mumbled. Both of his arms were then around Sasuke, and he rocked him back and forth.

“_No~_!” Nothing had ever hurt as much as that hug did. “Let go! It hurts! It hurts! You’re hurting me~!” Sasuke wailed, but clamped his hands to Naruto’s shirt all the same.

“I had to do it. . ! It was just to protect chu. . !”

“_No_~!”

“I’m sorry, Sasuke. . ! You can lean on me: I won’t push you away again. . !” Sasuke was made to come along, cursing and clinging, hating himself, hating Naruto, hating his father, kicking the ground and flailing his arms, bending over backwards. Totally lame and screaming just to rid himself of his anguish, he was buckled into the front seat of Naruto’s shitty Chevrolet Cruze. Then he got taken away someplace.

Fugaku was a shivering, sorry husk left to sit in the snow. There he remained, having wanted something from another person for the very last time.

*

Naruto took Sasuke to the overlook where’d he’d sat after their fight, a day earlier. The sky was clear with stars, and the temperature mild.

“Why are we stopping here?” Sasuke asked quietly. “You going to throw me off the edge?”

“Right. C’mon.” They got out of the car and sat on the hood. Sasuke was calm now, but severely affected. He had his mouth open, and his arms and ankles crossed. Naruto touched his back.

“It’s over, Sasuke,” he said. “He really can’t get chu.”

“How am I supposed to believe that?” Sasuke whispered. He felt so unfulfilled.

The wind rushed by and played with his hair. He reached up and pulled individual strands free from the crusted blood in his brow.

“. . . I’ll tell you what. You got a bigger problem than yur dad, and that problem is you.” Sasuke glared at him now, mouth open. Naruto was undaunted. “You don’t believe. Look, don’t hit me, alright, or do—whatever—cuz I’m about to get real witchu. You lack the ability—to convince yourself what’s true and what’s false, so you look for affirmation on everything from other people. Well, that affirmation’s never gonna be enough. You still won’t be sure. You have to stop being so insecure.” Sasuke didn’t speak. He just sat there, irritated and picking at his nails so they clicked. Naruto frowned sympathetically and added: “No one’s taking you away anywhere.”

“It doesn’t matter what I believe. . ! It doesn’t change anything,” Sasuke said.

“What would, then?”

“Answers! Real solutions to my problems! Mind over matter isn’t going to fix anything!”

“What I’m saying _is_ the real solution! Look, I get that chu don’t wanna listen to anyone because you been on yur own a long time. No one could understand what chur going through, right? Wrong! You gotta be brave about life, and not let it getchu down. . !”

“’_Brave’_! Are you serious. . ? What’re you, a fortune cookie?”

“Hey, fortune cookies got shit to say that chu need to know, alright. . !? If you don’t believe that you’ll be free and able to live however you want, then you won’t be, no matter what! So! That’s a note on the ‘mind over matter bullshit’!

I’m not saying it’s easy, but—you have to think about things a certain way. You have to be an optimist. You have to _live on yur own terms,_ and want what’s best for you.”

“. . . Still sounds like some bullshit westernized yogis sell bored housewives to make rent.” Naruto shrugged at this, not disagreeing. “So, there’s a whole lot of things I have to do, according to you.” Sasuke knocked his shoes together, ridding them of snow. “You’re not exactly practicing what you preach,” he commented, smirking.

“I know, right? Told you it’s not easy. But I’m sure an attitude adjustment’s what chu need.”

“_Tch_!”

“Yur books teach you nothing?” Naruto interrupted Sasuke before he could snap at him. “Listen to me!” he pressed. “‘Wait and hope’! Right? Ya know, yer talking an awful lot of horse shit for someone with no faith in their heart—”

“Faith!? There’s no God, so what the fuck am I doing with faith!?”

“I’m not talking about ‘God’! Man, fuck ‘God’! Faith isn’t religious, Sasuke, it’s humane. . ! It’s a muscle you need to exercise! Or you'll turn into a black hole o’ bullshit that scoffs at wisdom, and cries itself to sleep! Count on it!”

“So, you’re saying: if I believe my father’s going to get me, then he will? And if I believe he won’t. . . Don’t undermine me just ‘cause I’m younger than you! If my shit could be solved so easily, I’d have chosen to be happy a long time ago! Yet somehow—now—_faith_ is going to save me, is it? Bullshit. . !”

“See, there you go again! I’m not trying to undermine you! It’s not that chu’ve obsessed to the point of suffering; I _know_ it’s the other way around. . ! I get it.

I can’t tell you what chur old man’s gonna do. Here’s the thing, though: people like you and me, right, we’re pessimists and we’re smart. That’s all it is. We both have to work against that, and not look down when we should be looking up, because that’s how we make a hell out of our own lives. The really smart thing to do is ignore what chu think you know, so you can expect something much better for yourself.

You have to expect happiness. Expect success, Sasuke. It’s the only way you’ll have it.”

“’Wait and hope’, huh? Fuck off, okay?”

“. . .It doesn’t feel proactive enough, does it? Let go of worrying about that.”

“Let go? I’m supposed to let go of reality? Of worry—”

“Of ’fear’, you mean? Yeah! Plan! For fuck’s sake, do, but don’t worry so much: yer rotting yur brain!”

“I can’t just _let go_!”

“Yes, you can! Unless, you like yur life this way? There’re no guarantees! You’ll never be rid of fear if you don’t let it go yourself! So, let go!”

“I _can’t_!”

“You _can_! You will!”

“Naruto, it’s—!"

“If you don’t let go, you’ll only be more and more miserable as time passes, and there’ll be less and less of you to like! Alright? That’s how it is." This hit Sasuke like a punch. He gaped and turned away. "People will remove themselves from you, and you’ll be alone. Then there’ll be less happiness in yur life, and it’ll be even harder to letchur fear go. Eventually, you’ll be dying, and if yer lucky you’ll be asking yourself then: Why? Why did I throw my life away? Look at me for a sec.” Naruto drew his leg up on the hood. He peered intently at Sasuke, holding his arm. “It’ll all end!” he said. “One day, it’ll all end, and that day isn’t nearly as far off as you think. . ! I’m here witchu right now, and I wanna stay witchu. We both have to be braver, or we’ll become miserable assholes neither of us’ll be able to stand! D’you wanna be happy or not?”

Sasuke wasn’t an idiot. The way he was headed, he’d jump off a bridge somewhere. The answer to his miserable problem was just as Naruto said: an uncomplicated, yet extremely hard thing to do.

He hung his head and sighed, feeling utterly bereft. Naruto shifted, and he maneuvered both himself and Sasuke backwards until they were leaning against the windshield.

“Come,” he said.

“I—!" Sasuke didn't know what to do with himself.

“Just come!” Naruto pulled him to his chest, and kept him there. It made Sasuke feel stuck--then, a little bit less like he was floating in space. His arm was being rubbed.

"Do you wanna know why I came today? Why I came to get chu? . . .Well, I want chu you to know, anyway. I got a feeling you know me by now, and most likely I've--disappointed you, right? I'm sorry. But you were wrong before, when you said I don't understand. I do. I really do. The thing is: no one's ever been nicer to me than you, Sasuke. I mean--you've really cared about me--from the start. Even when I _absolutely_ did not deserve it. That kinda thing matters. . ! And I just want you to know--that I will love you--always--for that. . ! For what you've given me. . ! I'll do anything--to keep you safe. . ! _Anything. . _! Cuz--you've made me feel wanted--and appreciated--in a way I haven't felt since my parents were alive. . !"

Sasuke sagged. He leaned against Naruto now, but couldn't look at him. What was he supposed to say to that? He didn't know.

“You’re asking me,” he began, at last, with shaking voice. “To use a strength I don’t think I have.”

“You do have it. You can’t be that tired.”

“What if I am. . ?”

“. . .Tell me something that makes you happy.” Sasuke could hardly think of anything. All that came to mind was Naruto himself; and so, Sasuke felt small, wondering if it meant that he was weak. He stuck his fingers inside of Naruto’s waistband and made him laugh.

“I can’t fall out of love with you,” he admitted bitterly. "I can't. . !"

“That makes you happy? _Good_. . ! Kids like us gotta stick together,” Naruto said, and held him closer.

“Didn’t you use to say you were too old for me?”

“I’ve said a lotta dumb shit.” Sasuke turned his head and looked at him. Naruto turned his too, and brushed a lock of black hair to behind Sasuke’s ear.

“Well, what about rules one and three?”

“_Fuck ‘em._ . !” Sasuke was skeptical. “I told chu,” Naruto continued. “I wasn’t tryina trick you back there. I'm--crazy-stupid in love witchu. . ! God preserve, but I’m just a dumb asshole sometimes.”

“’God preserve’. . ! You're such a hick. . !”

“’Fraid so.” Sasuke smiled a little bit, letting his eyes stray. “N-all this bale-tossin’ South’s what does you right.” He chuckled tiredly at this. “Don’t fall asleep,” Naruto murmured.

“. . .You scared me—when you said those things. . !”

“And you scared me, back when you were fixina shoot yur dad. . ! Life’s scary sometimes, I guess. . .I am sorry, though.” Sasuke shifted seriously, and he buried his fingers in Naruto's hair. It was thick. He stroked it backwards, wanting to see Naruto's face clearly. There was a distinct lack of confidence in it that Sasuke hadn't noticed before. His eyes were big and wondering, though, and a pure blue that looked for the light.

“Don’t do it again,” Sasuke told him.

“Well, you neither. . !” He examined Naruto’s right hand next, turning it over and back again. It was dry, hard, calloused, square and strong—most of all it was warm. Pale scars dotted the knuckles, from when the skin had been worn down by friction. Sasuke was worried to try it, but he slowly braided their fingers together. He knew that it meant as much to Naruto as it did to himself.

“What do we do now?” he asked, squeezing Naruto’s hand. With a frown, he looked away and down at The City. They could see it from the overlook, and it was bright with lights of different colors.

Naruto was gaping a little bit at their joined grip. He whispered:

“We get something worth selling, so we can bargain for things we need. We stay together, and figure out what matters and what makes us happy, then we pursue it. If something happens, we deal with it.”

Sasuke snorted.

It sounded like a suicide mission to him, but he tried to believe that it wouldn’t be. He felt in his heart that exacting revenge on his father would bring him inner peace, but it would also bring him a jail sentence. Like he’d said, he really didn’t care about imprisonment. He had read plenty of books, though, and knew what they said about it. The uniform conclusion scared him. He didn’t want to give up everything for nothing. Maybe a life with Naruto could fill the hole Sasuke’s hatred had dug out. To try, was a decision he made.

“That the plan, huh?” he asked.

“Yup. You in?” Sasuke nodded slowly. “Good. . ! It would totally suck without chu.”

“Does that mean we live together?”

“Of course. . !”

“And we’re sleeping together? I mean—in the same—I’m not the ideal bedmate. I fight. I have nightmares.”

“_Heh_! I can take a few knocks. Don’t worry about it.”

“Then—are we going home now?” Naruto looked at Sasuke, and the lights of the world reflected in his open expression.

“We are,” he answered. “Right after a doctor has taken a look atchur head.”

“What, _again. . _!?”

“You _hit it_ again!”

“_Ughhhh_. . !” Naruto's overprotectiveness struck a chord in Sasuke's exhausted soul, and he groaned long and hard.

“Don’t be such a baby; it’s serious—”

“Seriously fine. . !”

“Bleeding from yur fucking head, and chu think yer fine! Over my dead body am I gonna Hail Mary this shi—m!” He turned, caught Naruto’s mouth with his, and kissed him quiet.

They did go see a doctor, and Naruto showed no sign of wanting to cut and run but held Sasuke’s hand firmly thereon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real close to the end now. We're just about, and epilogue roundup's coming up!
> 
> You know that feel when you've gotten so filthy, stupid drunk you don't even know why you wake up covered in sweat? And then you, like, shower like you're a POW and still stink? How, even? Gotta wash with lemons, maybe? Did I die and just forget? My god, that reminds me: if you've got a strong heart, become a firefighter. Those guys are straight up heroes.


	14. If I'd Known it Would Come to This. . .

A difficult couple of months followed. Ones of nightmares and anxiety on Sasuke’s end, and cripple-related bullshit mixed with paranoia on Naruto’s. They were still happy together, and getting happier.

Sasuke’s dad hadn’t showed up. In fact, no one had. Though, it was still something that kept Sasuke peering outside, afraid, and Naruto peering at him, also afraid but for different reasons. This besides, Naruto tried to focus on school work, but for every day that passed he was still feeling less and less like he knew himself.

One day, something like two months after the incident with Kiba and his arm, Naruto got a visitor while Sasuke was at school.

“Well,” Jiraiya croaked awkwardly, wringing out of his jacket. His big gut made the Taekwondo dobok look funny. “As you can see, I’m here on official business.” He smiled apologetically at Naruto, who took his jacket from him and hung it up. Although there was sadness and disappointment in the old master's appearance, there was also much affection. “I’m sure you know what it’s about. The missus in?”

“’Hubby’, though, isn’t it? And 'no,' Sasuke’s at school. We can sit in the kitchen. Please!” Naruto led the way, then gestured at the chairs.

“’Hubby’! Got it. . !” Jiraiya’s face revealed that he didn’t understand how a man could actually stomach being with another man. Naruto saw this, made careful note of it, and tolerated it.

“Do you want coffee?” he asked.

“Oh—_uh_—sure! You don’t have to be so stiff!” Jiraiya ejected this, loosening up his joints with a shrug and smacking Naruto’s back very carefully. He tried to grin. Naruto returned his smile. Jiraiya sat himself down with a groan. Naruto soon put a steaming cup of coffee before him and sat too, holding another one just like it. He was attentive and his posture straight.

“_Uh_. . .” Jiraiya eyed him, fingering the tablecloth and flicking his attention outside for a second. “Are they remodeling the garages?” Naruto leaned to see.

“Yeah,” he said. “They’re ancient, so, probably. . .”

“I, _uh_—heard from Master X.” Naruto nodded at Jiraiya’s stern yet uncertain eye. Jiraiya nodded too, and grew more confident. He cleared his throat. “You know, when we receive our belts—we get them from our masters. It’s a promise from the student to honor his master’s knowledge. In Taekwondo—I don’t know about any other schools, except for Hapkido, I mean, maybe in _karate_ they applaud when students go on killing rampages and mutilate each other, I don’t know—” He laughed loudly. “—I mean—I can only speak for my own schools.”

Jiraiya had a sixth degree black belt in Taekwondo, but he also had an eight degree one in Hapkido. This kind of dual mastery isn’t uncommon with people like him.

“In my schools, I don’t allow it,” he said seriously. “I have to be very strict. I mean: completely. But when I was a young guy like you, I didn’t exactly use my powers for good either, you know? I—” Jiraiya scratched his ear uncomfortably. “—If I was the only who knew about it. . . I would let you keep your belt. But this is _my_ master telling _me_ to do something. So—I’m sorry. But you’re finished in Taekwondo. There’s no way.”

“I understand, ya know. I knew what the consequences would be.”

“_Good_!” Jiraiya smacked the table with the flat of his hand. “Then we don’t have to talk about it anymore!” he added, guffawing. Naruto smiled at him. Jiraiya started fiddling with his belt, scraping at the golden stripes that denoted his rank. He then cursed, and threw the belt down like so much garbage. “You know, I can always train you in Hapkido if you want. It’s a better school anyway. . ! And you’re pretty much at a black belt level, so we can just focus on the fun stuff.”

“. . .What? Really?” Naruto was shocked. He hadn't expected this offer at all. His fingers flexed around his cup.

“If I have to see another fucking _arae makki, momtong makki, olgul makki—“_ Jiraiya performed these blocks in quick succession, sticking his tongue out and squinting his eyes throughout, looking like an idiot. “—I’ll break someone’s arm myself!” Naruto laughed, not sure of what else to do. He could only imagine how sick Jiraiya was of Taekwondo after a lifetime of training and teaching it.

“My foot though. . .”

“_Bah_!” Jiraiya waved his hand. “You can just do what I do! Me, you—and the rest of the old coots!” He laughed explosively. “It’s not all spinning hook-kicks, and running across the room to kick some poor color’s fingers in half!”

“I’d love to train with you again. . ! I can’t tell you how much I mean that. . ! I—. . . But won’t the others think it’s unfair? I mean, I should be suspended. . !”

“From Taekwondo, yeah! You _are_ suspended! For life!” Jiraiya waved his hand in dismissal. “You’re no student of mine! But Hapkido isn’t Taekwondo. If anyone should have any problems with you training with us, they’ll just have to take it up with me and I’ll set things straight. Just because you’re banned from one school, doesn’t mean you can’t join another. Hell no.”

“. . .” He couldn't get a word out. Naruto just stared at his uncle.

“You’re welcome," Jiraiya pressed and stood up. "So. Get your things. I’ve got a class in thirty minutes downtown.”

“Wha—now?”

“Hurry up!” The look his old (and new) master got on his face at Naruto's lack of obedience filled him with nostalgia. He’d missed being a soldier. He liked being told what to do, and getting praised for being good at it.

“_Yes, sir_!” Jiraiya laughed at him, sticking his tongue under his bottom lip while performing a mockery of a bow, once more, looking like an idiot.

*

A month after that, Naruto was getting into the feel of training again. He was starting to recognize himself. Skipping up the clamorous stairs with a gym bag over his shoulder, he was whistling a happy tune when he suddenly came to a halt. There were people at his door, looking at him.

“Can I help you?” he asked suspiciously.

*

Twenty minutes later, Sasuke was coming down the stone steps of the school building's entrance. He’d had a good day. Naruto was waiting in the parking lot, he knew, and could see him from where he currently was. It made him feel relieved to know that he wouldn’t have to ride the bus, and could go with Naruto instead.

When the guy impatiently tapped the horn, Sasuke waved at him and clicked his tongue, humored. When he made it over, Naruto reached over the passenger’s seat and pushed the door open for him.

"In, in, in!" he commandeered. Sasuke dropped inside, one brow up, and dove for Naruto's bossy face. He pulled on his jacket to keep him from escaping, and the guy chuckled and relaxed. They kissed deeply.

“Hey, kid,” Naruto smiled.

“Hey, yourself. How was training?” As Sasuke buckled up, Naruto shrugged and started the car. "You're still in uniform," Sasuke pointed out. Sure enough, Naruto was wearing the white uniform typical of Taekwondo (a lenience of 'the old coots'') and his jacket over it.

“Yeah, I--uh--it was alright,” he said, scratching his chin.

“Just alright? Come on.”

“Check in the back.” Sasuke did. In the backseat lay a stiff black belt with a single golden notch on it. It was snatched up and thoroughly examined.

“_OWOAH_" Sasuke exclaimed, staring at it. "_Congratulations_! Are you serious!”

“Now I fit in with the old farts, don’t I!?” Naruto laughed, pulling unto the road. “Well, kinda. . !”

“Yes, you do! So, Hapkido, huh?”

“It’s the better school anyway.”

“Right. . ! And you'll have your own students?”

“In a week or two! I wanted to show you straight off. . ! But enough 'bout me! _Jesus. . !_ How was _yur_ test?”

“’A’ plus.”

“Dude! Nice!”

“Yup!” Sasuke put the belt in his lap and stretched out his body, groaning with self-satisfaction. “I’m a genius. Bow before me.”

“Love to. We’re gonna have to celebrate.”

“Damn right we are. . !” Sasuke slithered his hand between Naruto’s thighs then, grinning when it made him giggle and grab it. The guy's voice could go super high-pitch; it was crazy! Sasuke really loved making it do that.

“So, listen!” the guy then said importantly. “Before that! _Haha_! I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?”

“I don’t want chu to freak out, though!”

“What would I beak fradabout—freak out about?”

“So there’re some people waiting at home to see you, kay? But I’ll be witchu the whole time, so you got nothing to worry about!”

“. . . _What have you done_? Are they _alone_ in our apartment right now!?”

“It’s _fine_! Sasuke! It’s gonna be okay! It’s just—I thought it was important.” Sasuke threw himself against his backrest and crossed his arms. He didn’t have any friends who'd want to come visit! So, who had Naruto let in? The police? Right! No. Maybe? The police could be wearing civilian dress!

"You're such an idiot sometimes, Naruto. I swear to god. . !" he groaned.

"It's fiiiine!"

"I'm getting a headache. . !"

"They're totally trustworthy. You'll see!"

"I'm not coming in until they're gone."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not."

"I'll carry you inside if you fight."

"You'd do that!?" Sasuke scoffed.

"_Ha!_ You know I would!"

"You're going to get me killed! Then what!?"

"Stop. . !" Sasuke pulled on his mouth and jaw, looking out the window at the scenery flashing by. What was he going to do? Naruto would 100% carry him unless he came voluntarily.

Sasuke was just dead meat.

*

They parked the car, and went up the resounding stairs in a way which must've looked ridiculous to anyone watching. Naruto would proceed three steps himself, notice that Sasuke wasn't following him, retract two of those steps, grab him then pull him, leading to Sasuke inevitably breaking free, turning and trying to go back to the car. They advanced slowly like this, making hushed debate throughout.

At the door, Naruto laughed tiredly. “C’mon!” he said, holding out his hand. Sasuke swatted it aside, glaring black.

He pushed passed his idiot boyfriend and put his own key in the lock. Next, he went in with his head low. Sasuke could feel Naruto's strong hands on his shoulders, massaging him. It wasn't a wholly unwelcome thing.

Then he noticed--that the place smelled like miso soup, and Sasuke stopped moving.

“In the kitchen,” Naruto whispered in his ear, and let go of him. Sasuke toed off his shoes, altogether quiet, threw down his coat and went in an almost hunched over posture with head foremost.

By the stove, at the kitchen table, there were two people who were very nervous to make any sudden movements. A man and an older woman. The man by the stove, stirring the soup, reddened, huffed and finally looked mightily pleased with something or the other. The woman rose tremulously from her seat, her slender fingers covering her wide-open mouth. Sasuke shook his head and fought to say something.

The three of them only nodded at each other for a while. The woman began to cry.

“_H-How. . ?”_ Sasuke eventually asked, in his native tongue. His mother hurried to him the very moment, embracing him with a forcefulness which surprised Sasuke. He put his arms around her and was amazed. She was so much smaller than he remembered. His mother only came up to his chin.

“_You’ve become an adult, haven’t you? My little Sasuke! My little Sasuke!” _She was beautiful, furthermore. Her skin was pale and her hair thick and black. It was long, and swept around her shoulders in gentle curves. Her teeth were small and straight. Sasuke had her smile. It was obvious that Mikoto Uchiha would remain a beauty her whole life.

_“Mom. . !” _The man by the stove, Sasuke’s older brother Itachi, joined the reunion but didn’t hug anyone. He put his hand on his brother’s arm instead and kept nodding, his lips a tight, quivering line. Itachi was a little taller than Sasuke, and all three of them looked very much alike. The elder brother was a little rougher than Sasuke appearance-wise, but none so emotionally. His hair was longer than their mother's. It hung in a loose ponytail over his shoulder, and reached the center of his back. Both Itachi and Mikoto were well dressed.

Naruto had snuck into the livingroom. No one had noticed it.

Sasuke gaped at Itachi like he was looking at a ghost. To think he'd be so happy just to see him! Sasuke put out his hand and touched Itachi's head. His brother! Itachi was alive, and he looked exactly the same! Fuller, of course: he was a man now! He was around Naruto's age, and he hadn’t been killed by his and Sasuke's father! Sasuke didn't know how to process all the feelings welling up inside of him.

“_I—! You—!” _His mother too. . . She was also alive. Sasuke kissed the top of her head, and breathed in her scent. He had forgotten the feeling his mother’s presence brought him. He felt whole again, and he hadn't really known that he'd been feeling broken. Looking from Itachi to their mother and back again, he forced Itachi into his arms as well, hugging them both hard and close.

It was a loving reunion. Sasuke was covered in caresses and the whispers of voices he hadn’t heard since he was a boy.

_“Missed you so much”, “Was Father good to you all these years?”_ they said, and _“So lonely without you!” _

_“How did you get here!?” _He asked them. His voice was constricted and odd, but he didn’t care.

_“We flew! Your father’s back in Japan—”_

_“He is?”_

_“—we didn’t know what to make of it at first, but he suddenly moved in at the estate and said we could do what we wanted—so we did! We came to you right away!”_

_“But—weren’t you followed then!?”_

_“No, Younger Brother. Father’s staying in Japan. He’s retired! The heritage passed us over. It seems you said something to him which made him feel ashamed of himself. He’s sold the company.” _Sasuke could hardly believe this. His father would never sell the company! If he’s moved to Japan, does that also mean he’s quit his assignments in The City? Sasuke didn’t know if he dared believe it. That Fugaku had allowed Itachi and his wife to come see Sasuke. . . Just why?

“_Why?" he asked. "Why is he suddenly doing this? His company, that we inherit it—it’s always meant everything to him_!”

“_That much is true. Father always did put work first, family second. But when I saw him at Uncle Tobi’s estate on Saturday, he wasn’t the same man who’d put me on a plane eleven years ago. He’d apparently been in the house for a few days already by then, and hadn’t sent for me or Mother on purpose. So I went to see him. Meaning to tell him exactly what I thought about the past decade and my missing Younger Brother, I--couldn’t get a word out once we were face to face._

_The way he looked at me was unlike him. He seemed submissive. I could probably have asked him for anything._

_Uncle Tobi says Father can’t walk anymore, though nobody knows why. He gets around in a wheelchair, but just feeds the koi fish all day. They’ll probably be so fat soon Uncle Tobi will have to hire a contractor.”_

_“So you’re—free to roam?”_

_“Yes, Younger Brother. I’m finally moving back here. I’ve always wanted to, and now we can be together every day!”_

_“And mom?”_

_“I’m living with Itachi. He’s a lawyer now! An American one!”_

_“What?”_

_“Absolutely. I made sure to waste no time ever since I got sent away. Uncle Tobi’s not a bad guy. Turns out, while Father would’ve found it abhorrent if he’d known, Uncle Tobi was amused by my studies: entirely out of line as they were with what his brother wanted from his failed son, after all.”_

_“. . .”_

_“I was always working to get back here to you—to help you escape, Younger Brother. You were never alone, though it might’ve felt that way.” _Sasuke couldn’t take anymore. He fell apart. Luckily, his family was now there to catch him, and keep him upright when he couldn’t do it himself.

*

A week after Sasuke's reunion with his family, Naruto was awoken with a start.

“I have a surprise for you,” his boyfriend's deep voice whispered. Naruto immediately became apprehensive. He was lying in bed hugging a pillow, and Sasuke was leaning over him on all fours. Naruto took a deep breath, and reached for his phone.

“What time isit?” he mumbled. Sasuke took his arm and pressed it to the mattress.

“About twelve,” he said.

“’s late. . !”

“Yeah. You slept forever.” Sasuke leaned down and rained kisses on Naruto’s face and in his ear. Naruto laughed and tried to shield the kid from his morning breath by turning his head. “Get up,” Sasuke said. “Your surprise is waiting.”

“What surprise?”

“You’ll have to come see! This is payback for surprising me before!” Sasuke stood up. The mattress bounced. He also bounced up and down after a minute, smirking evilly at the discomfort he was causing. “Come on!” he pressed.

“Woah! Fine! I’m coming! I’m coming. . !" He'd get motion sickness if he didn't play along. He just knew it. So, Naruto swung his legs over the side of the bed, sat and rubbed his eyes. "Do we have company, then?" There was a thud as Sasuke jumped to the floor.

“_Bingo da se_. . !”

“’Bingo’? Yeah, I got that much. Alright. Tell ‘em I’ll be out, but I’m not dressed.” Sasuke chuckled darkly and receded out of the bedroom in reverse, looking sinister. Naruto shook his head.

He dragged his feet all the way to the kitchen, yawning and mussing his hair. He’d found a T to go with his sweats, and that was a good thing because the company in question weren’t the type to hang out with shirtless.

Naruto stopped.

“Oh, hell no,” he then said and turned around. Sasuke, who’d been playing house with a coffee pot, hurried over after handing it to his brother. He took Naruto around the waist and picked him up, turned him back around and put him down. “Jesus. . !”

Around the kitchen table sat three and a half people. Itachi, Sakura, Kiba and a baby.

Sakura, holding her baby, smirked a little bit. Then, she looked at her partner. Kiba was in the process of standing up, and he gestured with his good hand at Naruto, waving awkwardly and with a little grimace on that resembled a smile. Naruto stared at him, cold.

“Like what you’ve done to the place,” Sakura said, sarcastically. “Though I take it that’s Sasuke’s accomplishment.” Her hair was different, Naruto noticed. It was up, and it made her look like she’d moved on. He had this fleeting thought as he struggled not to run away.

“Guy can’t decorate worth a shit,” Sasuke said with his eyebrows up. He got back by the counter, and started cutting up a hefecranz his mother had made.

“Got that right,” Sakura answered, laughing a little bit.

“I can too decorate. . !" Naruto breathed, a little out of it. "Just cuz I don’t care about curtains—jeez.”

“You don’t care about curtains?” Itachi asked, sneaking the coffee pot down between Sakura’s elbow and a decanter of lemon water.

“So what!?” Itachi shook his head at this explosion, holding back a smile.

“No, no,” he said. “To each their own.”

“Please, it’s a wonder he dresses himself!” Sakura smiled directly at Naruto now, and he didn’t know what to make of it. “Sasuke, I honestly don’t know how you put up with him!”

“Easy. I don’t mind him not dressing.”

“Oh, my God. . !” Looking at his face, Sakura laughed, covering her mouth. Sasuke put the hefecranz on a pretty plate in the middle of the table, chuckling. "Oh, you're _bad_!"

"_Hn_!"

“Now, hold up! Since when are you two friends!?” Naruto interrupted, walking up and snatching a piece of the freshly cut action. He stuffed his face with it, glaring. It was good, so he took the whole plate.

“_Oi_!” Sasuke barked.

“No, thif if heyback!” Naruto explained through his mouthful. He held the plate out for Kiba. The brunette, still standing, grabbed a piece and snorted gratefully. “Ake ‘_ore_!” Naruto ordered, jutting the plate. “’Ese guys’re ‘alking fit!—(swallowing)—talking shit about me, and we’re gonna eat their buns, god damn it!” Kiba laughed louder, grabbing another bun.

“To be fair, you didn’t even _own_ curtains _or_ carpets until Sakura bought some,” he said.

“Man, shut up. . ! Don’t rat me out.” Naruto replied, smiling shyly. He put the plate back down on the table, then eyed the baby in Sakura’s arms.

“Her name’s Salad,” Sakura said, having noticed him looking. Naruto squinted at her.

“What?”

“No, of course it isn’t! If I was in the salad-making mind when I named her, it would’ve at least been Caesar, seriously. It’s Julia.”

“Thank god she doesn’t look like you,” Naruto told Kiba. The baby smiled at him then, and he returned the expression without thinking about it. “_Ha_!” he exclaimed. "She likes me! Right? Pro'ly cuz I'm so handsome."

“It’s just gas!” argued the father.

“Is not! She agrees with me!”

“Do you agree, Jewels? Is that it?” Sakura cooed, raising Julia’s fat little arms in the air. “Are you happy to not look like daddy? Wiie! Wiiie! I don’t look like daddy!” Julia beamed up at her mother, cross-eyed.

"That's a relieved-looking baby if I ever saw one," Naruto added.

“Stop!" cried Kiba then. "She does too look like me, ya know! I used to be cute!”

“Well jesus, what happened?” This grinning jab had Kiba taking a mock lunge with his left fist up. He balled a bun totally, but was laughing.

“Shutthefuckup. . !” he said. Then he touched his right arm. He habitually kept his hand in his pocket these days so his arm locked pretty normal, but it would never be the same again, no matter how it looked. At this moment in time, Kiba was waiting for shoulder joint replacement surgery. He should really be in a sling, but it made strangers stare and ask personal questions—so he didn’t wear one. Naruto understood him. His crutches were in the closet.

Over the course of the visit, Naruto slowly relaxed and drank coffee at the table. Sasuke kissed the top of his head as he listened to Kiba telling Itachi about what it's like to travel the world (knowing full well who's travelled more.) Itachi was a very polite person.

Some topics later and thirty minutes, Kiba tried to be casual about his forgiveness. He said that he hadn’t blamed Naruto for a second since waking up in the hospital. Naruto, upon listening to this, put his coffee cup down with a bang.

“What do you mean you forgive me?” he asked blatantly. “How can you? And how can you—bring yur kid here? Like, what even is this?” The company went quiet for a moment, all uncomfortable.

“Dude, I was the one who reached out to Sasuke, alright?” Kiba broke the silence, and looked Naruto in the eye. “I stopped by here when you weren’t home, and we talked for a while. I knew you’d not wanna see me if you knew about it first, so we decided to spring this kinda deal on you. No one’s mad atchu, ya know, and that’s all this is.” Naruto looked at the faces pointed at him. Not one looked angry or resentful. He stood up.

“Could chu come into the living room a minute?” Kiba nodded frenetically at this and stood too.

He and Naruto left the others alone, and once by themselves, Naruto crossed his arms. Kiba told him:

“I just want things to go back to normal if they can. Yur friendship’s more important to me than letting what’s happened come between. And—like, I know I did chu wrong, and I’m sorry. I was getting witchur girl behind yur back. It was—prolly six months before she left. She got pregnant, and—time was getting tight—what with how obvious it was getting, ya know. I mean, what was I gonna do? I shoulda told chu right from the start, but I was a bitch ‘bout it. I’m sorry, and--”

“M’yeah, well—I broke yur arm for it so. . .” Naruto looked out the window, and leaned against the wall. Kiba nodded.

“That you did.”

“Not like yer ‘bouta try for Sasuke too, are you?”

“Hey, man. You can’t think it was cuza blue nuts that it happened. Me and her—we got something special. I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

“I don’t care anymore, man. Whatever you say. Really.”

“. . .Besides, if I tried to make a move on that guy he’d prolly kick my ass, ya know? Dude looks rabid.” Naruto snorted at this. Yeah, he thought, Sasuke sure as shit was rabid.

“I’m sorry too,” he said. “What happened, it was—the overreaction of my life.” He admitted something close and secret next, trying to offer Kiba blood. “I felt—back then—I felt weak. I was desperate. I tried to fight back—against the whole world—with everything I had. Actually, I—I know it sounds like total bullshit, but I didn’t really—know—how much force I was using all the time.”

“Well, yeah.” Kiba shrugged with the one shoulder. “You were flexing. I knew that. But are things better now?” Naruto had a look at the real concern on Kiba’s face, and was moved. Smiling, he replied:

“Yeah, I’m better. I’m in a new club.”

“Yeah?” Kiba grinned, and Naruto could see that he was truly happy and interested.

“Got my black belt, too.”

“What! Dude, congratulations!”

“It’s no big deal. What about chu, though! Yer someone’s _dad_! Oh, my god!”

“Somehow I am.”

“That kid’s straight fucked, you realize. . ?”

“Shut up. Sakura’s a great mom.”

“Yeah. I bet. She’s been wanting a kid for years. ‘Stopped talking about it a while, though.”

“Mm.”

“. . .It’s in the past now.” As they looked at each other, they began to thaw. Neither one of them wanted to not be friends anymore. “So, how’re you liking the crip life?” Naruto asked, mean on purpose.

“Owning it. Better’an you!”

“Piss off! Having a shit-foot is harder than an _arm_!”

“_PSSH_! It’s my right arm, man! _Everything I do_ is messed up!”

“Well, _I_ can’t walk.”

“You were walking _fine_ just now!”

“You were _eating buns_ just fine, too!”

“Man. . !”

“_Man_.”

"Yer faking," Kiba said.

"Shut up--_yer_ faking." From the kitchen, they could hear the others talking. They were questioning Sasuke on his childhood.

“Do you know about In Sync?” Sakura’s voice sounded.

“Uh, not really.”

“Did you play with Boggos?”

“Ah! Boggos! I had a million of those,” Itachi exclaimed.

“Oh, those. The little monsters.”

“You remember!”

“Of course. I didn’t play with toys very much. Played a lot of computer games, though.”

“I remember you being a through and through nerd as a kid.”

“No, I was literally an MVP. Have you _seen_ my house in Mining Simulator?”

"What is that? Most veiny penis?" Sakura laughed at her own joke, and Itachi joined her despite Sasuke's escalating protests.

“Oh, yeah" older brother recalled. "I used to throw your diamonds in the lava fountain!”

“Oh, my god. . ! PTSD. . !” Laughter filled the kitchen, and Naruto and Kiba chuckled to themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Concert--done! It was fabulous, my dudes. I've never stank up a room like that. My god. I forgot to breathe, bouncing around. Almost passed out and had to sit once it was over. Crazy stuff. Also, I high-fived the singer of one of the openers! Alright!
> 
> Aside from that, my little Japanese friend is making fun of my crazy Japanese. Well. I'm still first in line when it comes to translating this nutty country for him, so we'll see how he'll do withat tude, right? He did this killer impression of me the other day. Don't rightly know how to feel about it, other than impressed, I guess. Was pretty funny, too.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the story! There's this final chapter coming up. It's all just wrap-up stuff, so I hope you're into that ;)


	15. Outro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, here we are! This outro's 'mijika!' but not too much; it's about four and a half pages :) Enjoy, friendos!

Having chatted a while, Sakura and Julia eventually came into the living room, and Kiba had an acute thirst for more coffee. He made a face and stuck his nose in the air, going back to the kitchen.

Naruto shifted. He was uncomfortable to be alone with his ex and her child, and felt stuck. Suddenly, it was like he wasn’t wearing enough clothing, like there were more protective layers he could put between himself and them.

Sakura smiled knowingly at him. She almost laughed, and he almost sighed.

“You wanna hold her?” she asked. This had him forget almost everything. He’d never held a baby. Worse, holding this particular one. . . “Come on.” Sakura came close with her daughter, and made to hand her over. Naruto almost berated her for it. “What?” There was a look on her like he was misbehaving, and he felt old reflexes force him to relax. “That’s enough of that. Just hold her head.”

“I don’t know _how_! I—”

“It’s alright! There you go.” She helped him to hold Julia correctly, as he was scared to move. He gazed down at the little face trying to focus on him, and thought he was going to die of shame and awe both.

They had a moment.

“. . . She’s beautiful, Sakura,” he said after a while and looked up. Sakura tilted her head. She made an expression then that Naruto felt he didn’t deserve. She jutted her bottom lip and frowned. A little ‘oh’ escaped her, and then she caressed Naruto’s cheek very quickly. The gesture bordered familiarity and made him freeze. Sakura focused on Julia. It showed that she felt the tension too, that she was telling herself it wasn’t a big deal.

Naruto could really understand her point of view just then, all at once, and he felt his shame dissipate. Sakura was so strong to put her child in his arms, he thought, and Naruto didn’t think he could say that he had the same strength himself. In a wash, he was no longer mad at her. He could finally accept that she used to be scared of him, and he forgave what she’d done, only thinking rather of the good stuff they’d been through over the years.

“You’ll make such a—a rocking mom, Sakura. I know you will,” he told her. She looked shocked to hear it.

“Thank you,” she said, almost gasping.

“I know how much this means to you. . .” Sakura put her hand on Naruto’s arm now, and rubbed it. She shook her head, not at what he’d said but at what he hadn’t. Naruto insisted. “You deserve to be happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be—everything, or even. . .”

“No. It’s okay. It is. I’m sorry too.” When she began to say: “I should’ve been there for you,” Naruto protested with all his spirit, but he didn’t have time to say anything. “I knew, and I saw what you were going through but it was too much for me.”

“I’m sorry. . !”

“We failed each other, Naruto. It’s not all on you.” She hugged him then, and he hugged back, baby and all. Naruto deeply felt that he wanted to be Sakura’s friend. “It’s not,” she whispered. “So, don’t be so hard on yourself. . ! We made it through though, right? And Julia—you’ll know her her whole life!” Sakura leaned back and smiled at her child. “Uncle Naruto!” He smiled too.

The sleeping infant he held didn’t know any part of what had happened between her parents and their friend. In her, Naruto saw a new beginning and understood that life was full of beginnings. He could always do better. There was no such thing as ‘stuck’.

*

That night, hours after their guests had already left, Naruto was still acting mushy. Sasuke understood him to a certain extent. He got that his boyfriend had been forgiven by the people he’d wronged in his life, and was very moved. Sasuke had known he would react this way. That’s why he’d set him up for it. Sasuke was a sneaky son a bitch, he knew that himself now, and that it was due to his upbringing. At least, he thought, it was his choice what to do with that sneakiness. He’d chosen to use it for making the person he loved happy.

That sneaky vein of his was also behind why he’d waited until they’d both brushed their teeth and gotten ready for bed until springing the next surprise.

Naruto walked into the bedroom, still with a faraway look on his face. Sasuke was on the bed. He raised one knee up and leaned on it, saying:

“Naruto.” The guy looked at him like he’d forgotten Sasuke was there, then stopped completely. His face went slack. Sasuke snorted. “Well?” he pressed.

“Whe—where—woah? Where’dchu get that?” In a little, black velvet-clad box in Sasuke’s palm shone a golden band, one with Sasuke’s own name written on the inside, next to the words: “Thank you.”

“Better surprise than a gun, right?”

“I swear, the oddest shit just keeps appearing inyur hands. . !”

“It’s a talent. So, will you take it?” Naruto approached and stood right by the bed. Sasuke walked closer on his knees until he was against his boyfriend’s body. He still held the ring up, and cocked a brow.

There were about twenty good reasons for why Naruto hesitated to take it, but Sasuke had one great reason for why he really should.

“I love you,” he said. “And you love me. Say you’ll marry me.”

“_Holy shit_. . !”

“Say it. Please?” He wrapped one arm around Naruto’s waist, and tried to cool his own worry.

“Yer wearing a tie. . !” Naruto laughed then, sniffing at the same time. He rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Yer in yur PJs and yer wearing a tie. . !”

“Naruto.”

“Never thought _chu’d_ be the one-a ask! Shit! Feel so lame now. . !” Sasuke smiled at this. That was very close to a ‘yes,’ he thought. “How’d chu even get the money for that?”

“Took out a loan.”

“What, from yur brother?”

“Maybe,” Sasuke smirked secretively.

“Christ. . !” Naruto leaned down and kissed him, hard and slow. “You wanna _marry_ me?” he then laughed. “You crazy?”

“Of course I want to. . !”

“Kiddo. . !” Naruto said, gently pushing Sasuke unto his back and laying down over him. The ring was dauntlessly shining in Sasuke’s hand, still held up for the taking. “Sasuke. . !” He was being drowned in kisses. His grey, silk tie was pulled on as Naruto chuckled happily.

“Well, jeez!” Sasuke erupted, laughing. He jutted the little box in Naruto’s toothy face. “Put it _on_ already! You’re killing me. . !” Naruto did take it, and he plucked the piece of gold from it, put the box down and slipped the ring on his finger. Sasuke felt a jolt of joy and ownership. Naruto made a fist and looked at it. “God, that looks good on you. . !” Sasuke said.

“How’d chu even get my size?”

“I’m a creep.”

“You are, aren’t chu. . ?”

“Inscription says—uh—‘Thank you.’” Sasuke was feeling quite vulnerable, despite the happy news. He wanted to be understood by Naruto. Blue eyes zoned in on him. Naruto braced seriously on his hands and he squinted for a while, making Sasuke’s heart race worse than it had been.

“No,” he then said. “Thank _you_.” A weird noise came out of Sasuke then. It was because he’d been horribly nervous, was now ecstatic. “I love you _so_ much. . !” Sasuke flipped their positions then and put his own ring on. It was like Naruto’s, but without the extra script. He waved his fingers at his fiancé and smiled.

“I’m onna pass out,” whined Naruto.

“Don’t. . !” Sasuke kissed him, and he did it painstakingly. Naruto raised his knees on either side of Sasuke’s body, and put his hand under his shirt.

“’Kay. . !”

“_Hn_!” Their kiss deepened and Sasuke pushed against Naruto, against the soft, thin fabric of both of their sweat pants that did nothing but veil them. The atmosphere thickened quickly. Naruto breathed audibly and whispered after a moment:

“Do it. . ! Do it. . !”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. . ! I wantchu to do it. . !”

“Alright. . !” They got undressed, and before long Naruto was on his back, sweating and tense, exposing himself to the one person he really had to trust. Sasuke was enchanted by him. He worked his fingers carefully and attentively.

When it was time, he lined himself up and waited. Naruto had his forearms over his eyes, and it made his body look incredible, Sasuke thought.

“Hey,” he said, pulling on a tan wrist. Naruto smiled hotly, blushing to his ears and refusing to come out of hiding.

“Dude, I. . .” Sasuke snorted and kissed him.

“We can stop.”

“No, just—it’s just embarrassing. . ! Do it. . !” To his own honor, he did put his arms down but turned his head instead. He held on to Sasuke’s shoulder. Sasuke started pushing. A breath escaped him when it begun, then a louder one followed. Naruto bared his teeth and his fingers squeezed.

“Does it hurt? Naruto?”

“No. . ! It—doesn’t. . !” Instinct took over. Naruto choked a little. Sasuke was a little overwhelmed, but they rode it out, this new thing between them. At first, it was actually too embarrassing, but accepting the bad with the good made the good so much better. Then it wasn’t even embarrassing anymore.

“This is hard work. . !” gasped Sasuke. Naruto laughed at him despite himself, and said:

“_Yeah_. . !”

“Sorry for—sweating on you. . !”

“(pant) It’s—whatever. . !” In the end, they held each other close and finished together. Then they lay in a heap. Sasuke felt filled with emotion, all good. It was a completely different state of being, compared to how he’d used to feel before. That, and he’d not one single bruise on him for the first time in a decade.

He brushed Naruto’s sweaty blonde hair back.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked him. Naruto exhaled sharply, out of breath, and licked his lips.

“Good,” he said. “Great. . !”

“Yeah? Not sore?”

“Hm, for sure I’m sore, but—haha!—I’m still great. . ! Hungry, though. . !”

“You’re hungry?” Sasuke was a little surprised to hear it, but he thought it was funny too. “You just laid there; how can you be hungry?” he laughed.

“Shut up. . ! I did not just _lay there_. . !” Naruto hid his face in his hands, and Sasuke kissed his blushing ear.

“We’ve got some rice balls in the fridge; you want me to get you that?”

“Oh, my god, yer right. . ! _Yes_!”

“Mom brought them, remember?”

“Man, she is a godsend. . !”

“Yeah, she is.” Sasuke began to rise, but was surprised when his hand was caught. He looked at Naruto, whom hid his face for a moment in the pillows. Then he said:

“But don’t go yet. . !”

“I’ll be right back!”

“I know. Still.”

“_Mattaku. . !_” Sasuke lay back down and propped his head in his hand. He peered down at his fiancé. Naruto peered back and snorted.

“I can’t get enough-a you. . !” his muffled voice spoke into the bedding. Sasuke touched Naruto’s shoulder with his lips then, and said:

“You don’t have to get enough of me, because I’ll always be coming back to give you more.”

“More o’ what?”

“Everything. Anything.”

“Anything?” Naruto turned around now and looked directly at Sasuke. He ran his fingers through his dark hair. Sasuke nodded. “Then—will you smile for me?”

“Make me. . !” he snorted. Naruto appeared to think about it for a second, then struck up a stupid, genuine grin himself that had Sasuke laughing in his face. “You’re such an idiot!” he managed. “That’s the best you’ve got? _Hahaha_!” The two of their voices combined loudly in the small bedroom, and Naruto and Sasuke were happy just being there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the bag! I really hope you had a good time reading this story. I know, of course, that entertainment is tricky. As such, everyone likes different stuff, and that's okay. To the people who did like this particular thing, I'm stoked to have had you (not like 'had' had, but, like, 'had'!) So, thanks :)
> 
> I've learned a lot from working on this story, and I hope you'll be interested in testing out some new stuff I'll be posting. I'm finishing Long Walk Home, and writing some new stuff like: Sasuke being a wizard, this feudal Japan comedy, plus some other craziness.
> 
> Until then, have it good, yeah? ^_^


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